Hail the Pantload

[dr_mabeuse]

It's 4:20 AM and here's what I think: I think men's briefs should come with a cup in front to contain the pantload (aka 'fruitbasket', there's some other great British slang for it too that I forget). Then women writers could then refer to the guy's cup size just as men writers refer to a woman's.

But why stop there? You could also have cups to contain the buttocks, making that overlooked part of the body much more easily describable, at least in the quantitative sense. Sizes would probably start at about a G and go on from there.


---dr.M.

 

[MathGirl]

??

Dear Dr M,
I hate to cast dispersions, but your idea would just result in the return to fashion of the codpiece. That and the bustle had to be two of the sillier fashion statements.
Judgementally,
MG
Ps. 4.20AM is not the time to be thinking of things like that.

 

[Vincent E]

Actually, I'd prefer if underwear came with a cup holder. Then when I am sitting on the sofa flaking out in front of the television I would have a place to put my beer.

And how about a pocket on the side to put the television remote control. That would be good.

 

[Guest]

half empty? half full?

I can't see men easily speaking up in public and asking for the XS cup. Would they stuff a larger one w/tissue like women used to do?

I don't think women have this problem, whether they have issues about breast size or not. When I was starting out I never felt weird asking for a 28AA.

I'm actually thinking you were being humorous or satirical, but after MG's comment I had to make a peep re. men and size.

cheers, Perdita

 

[TheEarl]

It's 4:20 AM and here's what I think: I think men's briefs should come with a cup in front to contain the pantload (aka 'fruitbasket', there's some other great British slang for it too that I forget). Then women writers could then refer to the guy's cup size just as men writers refer to a woman's.

I think the slang you're looking for is 'lunchbox.'

The Earl

 

[Wicked-N-Erotic]

How about we all just do away with clothes, cups, etc. and wear what god gave us. Clothes aren't comfortable any, most of the time. Then there would be nothing to hide and nothing to size.

Wicked

 

[Quasimodem]

That all sound very pleasant in theory, WNE except that for eight months out of the year white frozen precipitate piles up outside, and the old teenage complaint of “blueballs” would soon encompass a totally differing condition.

Around here - and elsewhere - I have heard the size of this area of measurement referred to as the guy’s “package.”

Starting from this negative, the public measurement of a man’s required package space would, as it has to women, tend to objectify men.

Turnabout is, after all, fair play.

Besides, it is already happening. Men are admired for their tight butts, and large packages, or deplored for their flaccid buttocks and minuscule tackle.

At least some good would come from the implementation of this suggestion. Comfort!

 

[pop_54]

Hmmmmm!!!!!!!!!

Hmmmm No need for containment devices, just let it all hang out, well until it gets too bloody cold in Quasi's case, then the girls could just whip out the tape measure and size it up for themselves.

Do you know I got up this morning, looked out of the window and thought, 'Hmm it looks nice out', so I left it out and tripped over the bloody thing a while later.

pops............

 

[Guest]

LOL to the 10th degree

. . .so I left it out and tripped over the bloody thing a while later.

Thank you, you amazingly and deliciously lewd man. I am still grinning, my cheeks are quivering (the ones on my face )

luv, Perdita

 

[pop_54]

Re: LOL to the 10th degree

Thank you, you amazingly and deliciously lewd man. I am still grinning, my cheeks are quivering (the ones on my face )

luv, Perdita

Darling!

 

[oggbashan]

Codpiece

I sometimes wear a codpiece as part of my Henry VIII costume.

It is a useful place to keep the car keys, wallet, and sandwiches.

It leads to some parents starting the "birds and bees" lecture to small children who ask "What is that?".

Og

 

[Guest]

Re: Codpiece

It leads to some parents starting the "birds and bees" lecture to small children who ask "What is that?".

Oh, then you should fill it with birds and bees* and be ready to let go.

*if you can find eunach bees, i.e., w/o stingers.

Perdita

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Re: Re: Hail the Pantload

I think the slang you're looking for is 'lunchbox.'

The Earl

I like that. But I remember hearing something about a 'fruit and two vegetables' or 'sausage and two eggs' or something like that. I guess they all have to do with food, don't they?

---dr.M.

 

[Chicklet]

well you *can* refer to a man's undie size, can't you?

 

[dr_mabeuse]

How about we all just do away with clothes, cups, etc. and wear what god gave us. Clothes aren't comfortable any, most of the time. Then there would be nothing to hide and nothing to size.

Wicked

Wicked, I can't believe you would suggest this! Clothes are so much fun! And, despite what they tell you, the human body is, 9 times out of 10, not a real thing of beauty (that goes along with the myth that a dull knife is more dangerous than a sharp one) Clothes are probably the sexiest thing ever invented.

Besides, think of what we'd miss: stockings, bras, pin-striped suits, long satin gloves, and those stupid bolo ties with giant pieces of rock on them that old ranchers wear.

---dr.M.

 

[Chicklet]

fine, don't answer my question or anything

 

[Quasimodem]

Re: Codpiece

I sometimes wear a codpiece as part of my Henry VIII costume.

Og

Unfortunately, the Cod have been all fished out.

(Now there is a double entendre if I ever typed one.)

Somehow, a Perchpiece, or a Mackerelpiece just doesn’t have the same elan!

 

[Guest]

well you *can* refer to a man's undie size, can't you?

Yes, but an XL could simply mean he has a wide, fat ass; the size doesn't indicate anything about the fly area.

I don't think men call them 'undies'.

 

[Quasimodem]

well you *can* refer to a man's undie size, can't you?

True Chicklet, but that will only insure that the waistband will encompass your Molson Muscle and the material will fully encase your fundament. Meanwhile, there is a narrow inverted vee of cloth riding up between your thighs, parting left ball from right ball, and continuing upward until your pelvis is connected to your clavicle.

This is one of the reasons you often see (particularly) baseball pitchers digging and clawing at their groin.

Some of the movement of the over handed pitch accelerates the rise of that portion of any pair of shorts - boxers or briefs - which occupies a similar position, and represents a similar threat, as the bicycle crossbar.

Unfortunately, any ordinary mortal wearing an ordinary business suit, found grasping and dragging down at his under drawers is subjected to social ostracism. I don’t know why

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Codpiece

Unfortunately, the Cod have been all fished out.
Somehow, a Perchpiece, or a Mackerelpiece just doesn’t have the same elan!

Dear Q,
That may be an opening for the comeback of the one-eyed trouser trout.
Piscinely,
MG

 

[Guest]

fishy men

Dear Q, That may be an opening for the comeback of the one-eyed trouser trout. Piscinely, MG

Man, Math, I am so glad for this. It's about time penii (haha) began to be called fishy in some manner. I hate having cunts referred to as 'tuna sandwiches' and the like.

Gratefully mammalian, Perd

 

[Wicked-N-Erotic]

Wicked, I can't believe you would suggest this! Clothes are so much fun! And, despite what they tell you, the human body is, 9 times out of 10, not a real thing of beauty (that goes along with the myth that a dull knife is more dangerous than a sharp one) Clothes are probably the sexiest thing ever invented.

Besides, think of what we'd miss: stockings, bras, pin-striped suits, long satin gloves, and those stupid bolo ties with giant pieces of rock on them that old ranchers wear.

---dr.M.

Geesh Dr. M, when you put it that way I guess I should reconsider. Besides I was in a bad mood when I posted and never really gave much thought to it. I shall try to think harder in the future and get past my mood.
You are correct in saying that stockings and such are sexy.

Wicked

 

[English Lady]

i think the phrase you're searching for is "meat and two veg" Dr M dear....which in england is the essence of a proper meal or the contents of a mans lunchbox*L*

 

[Quasimodem]

Perd,

Both men and women have been likened unto seafood for many centuries.

As Og previously mentioned, his 'codpiece' is contemporary with Henry VIII, while the 'Bearded Clam' originated sometime during the following generation, at the very latest.

Of course, this is mostly BritSpeak.

Which brings us to one of my most cherished fantasies; that Eeling Studios had maintained their solvency through soft porn film production.

[ I know, it's really Ealing, but let me dream. ]

English Lady,

I resent that "two veg" crack. They may be quasi dormant, but they are NOT vegetating!

---dr.M.

I'm not against clothing. In many cases a Bourka is the best solution for both men and women.

What I am complaining about is clothing designed to hold a body that ignores the actual ligaments of the human. In this particular case, men's briefs.

I could also wax contemptuous of the designers of women's clothing. But since (to date) I haven't taken to wearing them, how can I have any beefs about wearer comfort.

 

[English Lady]

Quasimodem...hey i never thought of it that way...so do you have brussel sprouts or turnips?