haikus

first of all, i ... i ...
second, i'm ... i ... i'd ...
third, i ... i ... i'm ... i'm ... i ...

Too many ...i...i...i...i... . Stop it. There is no need to explain, no need to apologize, ...; just post your poems and comments about poems. It's that simple. (I hope it helps :)).

he forgot her there
just a shovel in the sand
waiting for the tide​

Finally! That's what this board is about. Poems!

First of all haiku (not haikus). It'd be good to do a bit of homework about haiku. Even if you were dealing with more than one haiku, it is still haiku--no plural.

Talking about homework, why don't you say more about your poem; share what do you think about your poem after you read a little bit about haiku, just a little. And know that 5-7-5 is no big deal, it's not what this is about.

BTW, is your poem by any chance about absent-mindedly killing a poor woman?

Welcome, good luck, have fun,
 
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*smiles* thank you! i have a tendency to make too many apologies. i'm workin' on it :D.

to be honest, i learned about haiku (correct usage?) in elementary school. i never did learn more, but i always had a fondness for a haiku's succinct and enigmatic qualities.
Sorry, this time we both have posted at the same time. You may start with the first haiku masters: Basho and Buson.

Best regards (and I am relieved that you have a good sense of humor :)),
 
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English grammar and haiku

if i'm making "haiku" possessive, then what?
A good question. Some people would write on occasions haiku's if I remember well. However, I don't think it's necessary. Can you find an example?
 
A good question. Some people would write on occasions haiku's if I remember well. However, I don't think it's necessary. Can you find an example?

One example of potential possessive....

Although the 5-7-5 syllable count is still the way most people first encounter haiku when in grammar school, haiku's true expression is so much more than that. Even in English.


:cool:
 
One example of potential possessive....

Although the 5-7-5 syllable count is still the way most people first encounter haiku when in grammar school, haiku's true expression is so much more than that. Even in English.


:cool:
You may be right, but I would still write ...haiku true expression... Indeed, the difference between an adjective and possessive is not too drastic. I feel that it's even less so in the case of haiku.
 
One example of potential possessive....

Although the 5-7-5 syllable count is still the way most people first encounter haiku when in grammar school, haiku's true expression is so much more than that. Even in English.


:cool:

It's impossible to write Japanese haikus in English because the form is based on Japanese language, a play on rhythms and its characters. You can't even translate them properly.

My daughter is studying Japanese and spent an evening turning my brain to mulch explaining Japanese poetry and why when it is translated it can't be recreated in the way translating a poem between two European languages can be. So so much is lost.
 
You may be right, but I would still write ...haiku true expression... Indeed, the difference between an adjective and possessive is not too drastic. I feel that it's even less so in the case of haiku.

I don't think using it as an adjective, like that, is valid, but that might just be a personal taste issue. Myself, I'd be more inclined to work the phrase as '...true expression of haiku...', which, I know, your version carries an implied use of when you break the sentence down diagrammatically, just doesn't seem to flow properly to my ear.
 
first of all, i apologize if there's a thread on haikus that i managed to miss.

second, i'm not a poet by any means. i love writing, and i'd consider myself a writer at heart. however, a talented writer is a different story.

third, i would love feedback, criticism, and/or encouragement. i only ask you that you remember that i'm not trying to be a "poet". i'm too shy to share my writing with people i know. somehow strangers on literotica feels less daunting.

so, here's a haiku -

he forgot her there
just a shovel in the sand
waiting for the tide

haiku or not, this is an interesting short.

i'm seeing a day's distraction, a toy used on the beach, not valuable enough to bother taking with him past that afternoon where her use was some cheap entertainment. not sure you need 'there'.
 
It's impossible to write Japanese haikus in English because the form is based on Japanese language, a play on rhythms and its characters. You can't even translate them properly.

My daughter is studying Japanese and spent an evening turning my brain to mulch explaining Japanese poetry and why when it is translated it can't be recreated in the way translating a poem between two European languages can be. So so much is lost.

Ah bogus, you are as constant as the tide. I love that about you and you know my views about the Anglicized? versions of Haiku. sasspotsub wrote a nice poem, don't know that I would call it a Haiku even as it follows the rudimentary form but does not really portray the play between lines as evidenced by (true) Haiku. There are other variations using different syllabic lines.
..
ETA: There is a challenge thread from December of last year wit Haiku if someone would be kind enough to bump it
 
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first of all, i apologize if there's a thread on haikus that i managed to miss.

second, i'm not a poet by any means. i love writing, and i'd consider myself a writer at heart. however, a talented writer is a different story.

third, i would love feedback, criticism, and/or encouragement. i only ask you that you remember that i'm not trying to be a "poet". i'm too shy to share my writing with people i know. somehow strangers on literotica feels less daunting.

so, here's a haiku -

he forgot her there
just a shovel in the sand
waiting for the tide
totally agree with bogus, and it's good to senna lighten up.
you have a short poem as is, a suggestion, a suppose you continue this...

waiting for the tide

while you roll off (change he to I)
to the hot dog stand or whatever, distracted, this delays the punch line, but you have to be careful, this hanging here is obvious, you might what to make it subtle, but cluing the audience (it is intentional)
2 or 3 more stanzas and then you realize the tide is rolling
in
BTW I'm not a fucking poet,
but I am good at what I do
 
It's impossible to write Japanese haikus in English because the form is based on Japanese language, a play on rhythms and its characters. You can't even translate them properly.

My daughter is studying Japanese and spent an evening turning my brain to mulch explaining Japanese poetry and why when it is translated it can't be recreated in the way translating a poem between two European languages can be. So so much is lost.

My favorite English (not really a haiku) haiku.

I told her and she
was like "oh my god" and I
was like "oh my god.


And you know who wrote it? Take a wild guess. I'll give you a hint. The initials are B.C. :D
 
My favorite English (not really a haiku) haiku.

I told her and she
was like "oh my god" and I
was like "oh my god.


And you know who wrote it? Take a wild guess. I'll give you a hint. The initials are B.C. :D

Our mutual Friend! :D

Sssh! U still read him and enjoy him.:eek::rose:
 
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