Haiku Humor

[Rybka]

I found this posted on a website I frequent:

"In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules - each poem has only 17 syllables; 5 syllables in the first, 7 in the second, 5 in the third. They are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity. Here are 15 actual error messages from Japan
that are the essence of Zen:

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
-------------------------------------------
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
--------------------------------------------
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
-----------------------------------------------
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
------------------------------------------------
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
--------------------------------------------------
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
---------------------------------------------------
First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
---------------------------------------------------
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
--------------------------------------------------
The Tao that is seen
until You bring fresh toner
Is not the true Tao.
--------------------------------------------------
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
---------------------------------------------------
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
--------------------------------------------------
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
---------------------------------------------------
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
---------------------------------------------------
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
---------------------------------------------------
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
---------------------------------------------------

Aren't these better than "your computer has performed an illegal operation?"

 

[WickedEve]

Aren't these better than "your computer has performed an illegal operation?"

Computer performed
illegal operation.
Will do so again.

I love this smart ass one:
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

 

[JUDO]

Haiku Interruptus

We are out of lube.
Access at other portal
Is therefore, denied.

My jaw aches and throbs.
Am I doing something wrong?
You have yet to spew.

Taxes and late bills -
Can not get them off my mind
While you eat me, love.

I am almost there.
My hips buck against your face.
My pager goes off.

Oh, so good, so good...
What!? Motherfucking Machine!
My batteries died.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/jawdrop.gif

 

[WickedEve]

I agree with what Lauren said. lol

We are out of lube.
Access at other portal
Is therefore, denied.
Judo, that's beyond funny!

 

[Sweetwood]

Oh my God JUDO

Hail to the Haiku Queen.

This is the funniest post I have seen in all of my middleaged life: Haikuellujah to you, JUDO.

Sweetwood

 

[JUDO]

Thanks, guys. I just saw all that geek message stuff posted by WE and thought, "Wait a minute, this is a sex site. And boom, it just came out."

 

[Goodguy2]

Nice JUDO

Thanks for bringing this back on track. Can i have a turn?

Legs over shoulders
At home face down in your folds
Nose, tongue, finger, lick

-------------------------------------------

Pelvis rests on chin
Lips between lips finger in
Face wet from your sin



GG