scouries
Literotica's #1 Author
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2005
- Posts
- 4,989
[size=+2]THE THREE LAUGHING AMIGOS - a cat, oily, and the man in the moon ….[/size]
Seeing as these three seem to want a comedy thread here on Lit (and amuse us all with their incredible wit), I thought I’d furnish them with their own thread. The hope being, of course, that they’d leave my beautiful thread alone, and so allow my hundreds of thousands of fans the opportunity to read my thoughts without having to wade through acres of chaff before arriving at the true nuggets.
And to help get it started I’ve included the posts this dynamic group has made in ‘scouries house’ over the last couple of weeks. The only change I made as to excise my name from your posts and replace it with my new title. Good luck you guys! You could sell this stuff…
Moon - I'm quite honored that you tossed me in with such talent, the 2005, and 2006 Writers of Year. SK and DK must be doing something right
Moon - A bit over the top? That could qualify for the understatement of the year. What I want to know is why you have to self promote your work if you are indeed the "Best Selling Author"? I do absolutely no self promotion, either here, or in my non-existant signature, and I still get a fair number of reads
Oily - Hey girl, since you sound so much like the twisted sisters and kiss so much ass, maybe you should change your name to SmittenKitten
DK - Sorry, that just deserves a "Snerk!"
Moon - I dunno, you seem to the one with the lip lock on the ‘Grand-High Poobah’s' sphincter...
DK - Sure, I'm good to the highest bidder...
Moon - Quite honestly, I don't want to be number anything. My enjoyment comes from the writing, I don't care if my stories get read or not.
Oily - LMFAO! I read some of your reviews of new stories. You seem to be the king of flawed criticism, as far as I am concerned. And you are almost as big of a kiss as SmittenKitten (formerly known as drksideofthemoon
Oily - You sure bitch a lot about the same thing for a guy. Maybe your user name is too insignificant to be remembered. In any event, in terms of reviewing stories, nobody can top the Grand-High Poobahs' critique of last year's Nude Day entries. Unless, of course, he tops it himself with an entirely enlightening evaluation of this year's Nude Day stories
DK - Sev, arguing with this guy is like hitting your head against a brick wall. It does no good and can leave you with brain damage
Oily - Some of your "best-selling" Lit authors write like someone is twisting their arms to get down and dirty. But not you, Grand-High Poobah. Now you go and write that Nude Day Contest story and prove to everyone once again that this is a fucking porn site and not True Romance magazine
DK - Doesn't it sometimes feel like we're butting in on a romantic candlelit dinner between the two?
Moon - Yabut, I think there is only one at the table....lefty and righty...I didn't say that did I?
Moon - I know...I've often asked myself the same question
Oily - These obsessive-compulsive drama queens with multiple personality disorder can't help themselves from posting on this thread. They are addicted to Grand-High Poobah --like millions of other Literotica readers.
Moon - The stories are put in order of their approval, and generally are taken the same way. The stories on the top of the new list are the ones that were approved last. I've had stories come out in all sorts of positions, and it's made little difference. The only thing I have noticed is that Friday is a good day to have a story come out...but in the long run the effect is quite minimal. These observations have been made on chapters of Montana Summer, so the category has stayed the same in all submissions.
DK - I have no clue how the stories get placed. I know some categories are on the bottom of the list, maybe the more taboo ones. But to me, I scan the entire list looking for author's I enjoy reading then I go from there. So placement means about squat to me. I think crying foul because your story doesn't make the top of the list is somewhat sour grapes. Write something other than taboo and you'll be closer to the top if not on the top of the list.
Moon - I just think it;s in the order that they approve them, I've had chapters for MS come out anywhere from in the top few places to near the bottom....and from my observance of MS, it doesn't really change anything....people will go through the New List with a fine tooth comb, looking for what they like...
Oily - LMFAO! That's easy for someone who always has her stories near the top of the New list to say. Like today. And you always have the "H" and a bunch of phony comments on the new story before most people are even awake. Seems rather orchestrated to me.
DK - Hmmm, maybe it's because I have a huge fan base, I write stories that people want to read and I don't have a pissant like you coming around to kiss my ass. If I write something that sucks, my fans tell me just as they tell me when they like something I write. Seriously, for someone who doesn't write stories of thier own, you sure have a big mouth when it comes to how this site is ran...
DK - That was so nice of you
DK - That might mean you'd have to give up your day job and follow him around 24/7... not that I think he sounds silly or anything
Oily - Well, aren't you special. At least on Literotica. But nobody wanted to read your stories when you posted them on LustyLibrary, now did they. You were a nonentity. Your fan base on Literotica is mostly smoke and mirrors. The Grand-High Poobah has the real fan base on this site
Moon - Dear Scrabbled and Grand-High Poobah et al, Being a legend in your own mind doesn't mean you have a fan base. I just checked the favorites portal. Where are you? Yes, way down there. Your much ballyhooed numbers are unsubstantiated for the most part. You are not the most popular writer on Lit, nor are you the most read. I don't think the readers could give a crap about you. How many nominations did you receive for the year end contest? Subtracting your own, you had none. Where were your legions of adoring fans? It's one thing to pimp your own work, but when you start impuning the integrity of other writers around here, it's time to stand up and tell you to FUCK RIGHT OFF!
DK - Wow, thanks guys, I feel like such a damsel in a dress...I mean distress. Scribblydoo (cause he reminds me of Scrappy Doo, all bark, very very little bite and always yapping up nonsense) can write whatever he thinks about me. Being a nonentity at Lusty Library really did not bother me all that much. Some places aren't a fit, and it wasn't the place for me. But here and on the other two sites I write for, I do pretty good. I'm happy here and much happier not to be at that other site. So let him throw that in my face if he wants, I think I'll survive the pain of it all. Besides, he's beginning to sound like a broken record
Moon - Well, I was going to submit a story at Lusty Library, but I wasn't comfortable with their terms and conditions, so decided against submitting anything there.
DK - Very smart idea. Ms. LL seems to think that because you submit your work to her site, she owns it from there on in. She also thinks she has the rights to make money off of your work and not pay you for it. So think twice before submitting to that site. She won't take it down for anything unless you do what I did and throw a fit. I still have stories up over there but I consider them lost. Any site that considers claiming the work of others as their own property does not get my business
Oily - ROTFLMAO!!! Those ratings are about as "real" as phony baloney. Do the math. Let's take Heaven in Her Eyes Ch. 16 4.91 rating/91 votes 5 votes = 88 4 votes = 3 No 1, 2, or 3 votes That's how you get a 4.91 rating on 91 votes Some authors get all the low votes removed (even some 4 votes), and some authors don't
DK - So what are you laughing about? That I get good scores? I don't ask to have bad votes removed. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion and if I can't handle the bad, I shouldn't be here. Why don't you just admit you're in way over your head here. I mean, you're here with people who can use words with more than a single syllable. Scribblydoo, my ratings are just as real as your most exalted asskissee. So there... Now go, run with some sharp scissors or play in traffic as people of your mentality are prone to do.
Moon - Well, Grand-High Poobah, did you ever think of the possibility that her story didn't get any 1, 2 or 3 votes...well, unless you personally trolled her? Somehow that wouldn't surprise me
DK - No, actually Marsh, he thinks that whole site revolves around me. I mean look, I'm always in the top ten spots on the new list. I have to have the bad scores knocked off because far be it for me to write something deserving of a good score, and I probably sent naked pictures of myself out to get people to add me to their favorites list...oh wait, someone else did that already...
Moon - Well, you still have a ways to got before you can claim to be number one. That's the funny thing about numbers, you can always twist them to suit your own purposes. Your story is still a long way down the ladder before it can be the top story on the site. You're the one that has eluded to having a huge fan base, where are they? Why haven't they sent you to the top of the Favorites Portal? Why didn't any of them nominate you? I personally don't want to be nominated, and I have declined every nomination made for me, or for my work both here at Lit, and at another site that I have since left. I don't have an ego to fuel.
As Ms. Cloudy mentioned, views don't mean a thing. I noticed something when I went into the Incest/Taboo category, your two stories are conviently placed at the top of the first page. I think this is the secret to your success. The score on your top-rated certainly wouldn't be what would I describe as even moderately successful. I wonder how many of the views are actual reads? I rarely talk about the numbers for my own work, but you asked once about all of Montana Summer, the totals are well into the 7 digit range.
Oily - Well Grand-High Poobah, I see your story "Family Secrets" is in the #49 position on today's New list. You cracked the top 50!!! Moving up in the Lit world aren't we now? Little Miss Almost Perfect Rating must have put in the good word for you with the powers that be. All the brown-nosing by you and your fan club is definitely paying off. Literotica's most popular author (you) certainly deserves to be treated like a (drama) queen, much like those twisted Kitten sisters. Although I think maybe we should have a vagina check on drksideof themoon because we could be talking triplets here. Why Scouries, you keep kissing ass and I predict you soon will have a 4.90 rating too!
DK - YAP YAP YAP, Scribblydoo. You really should start singing a different song. That one is getting quite boring. Now be a good puppy and go lie down. Stay!
DK - Beautifully quoted Caprine
DK - If you promise to kiss it all better, you can whip me if you'd like
DK - He lives in his own little scribbly doo universe, Selena. There he is top dog and can look down from his dog house on all us kittens. Sev, we gotta wait until my husband goes to sleep...shhh
Moon - Where's your "H"? Don't tell me that your fan base has let you down?
DK - Did you guys forget? He thinks the little red H's should be banned. Maybe Laurel is banning them just for him...
Moon - Well, he is special
Oily - All 10 of those stories mentioned? And no doubt there are more with a rating of 4.90 or higher. Why yes, the Grand-High Poobah did think of that possibility. He calculated the probability to be .0000001 of Daniellekitten having that many stories with no 1, 2, or 3 votes and only a few 4 votes. It is quite the mystery why the readers at Literotica think she is so wonderful while the readers at LustyLibrary think she sucks. Oh Grand-High Poobah, you'll never guess who else is in the 4.90 Club. Right, drksideofthemoon and SelenaKitten
Moon - And just how did you come to that conclusion, and generally probabilities are stated as a ratio, as 1 in 10, 1 in 100...etc. It's no mystery. It's quite simple, Danielle and Selena are both terrific writers. Something that you aren't
Oily - That's not what Walter at LustyLibrary said about Danielle when she tooted her horn:
But you keep saying it again and again, drksideofthemoon, like you have many times before, and it will be the truth. At least on this site.
Moon - One comment from a putz named Walter? That's the best you can do, Scouries?
DK - I've said it once, I'll say it again, Scribbly doo...yap yap yap, you're such a broken record. Is this the best you can do? I wonder why you even bother anymore considering that your blather is not much more than an annoying whine. I actually don't really give a damn about what was said about me at that other site. I don't care what a lot of people on this site think. I write so that I can get the experience and get published in the real world and not here. So, say what you will...it comes out as an annoying buzz that is so simply repetitive that you're actually making a fool of yourself... So sit, stay, good boy.
Moon - Do you think we can teach him to roll over and play dead
DK - Maybe, but only if we had one of those stun collars.
Oily - So I see you're a member of the 4.90 Club too. Like Daniellekitten, drksideofthemoon, and SelenaKitten. Surprise, surprise. I'll have to go see who else has achieved impossible ratings.
DK - Scribbly doo, you really need to learn how to insult someone. If being a member of the 4.90 club is supposed to be an insult, well, I'll take that kind of insult anytime. Is it jealousy? Can scribbly doo puppy feel jealousy? Someone needs to take a rolled up newspaper to your nose
Moon - Yeah, it's quite the insult to included in with you and Selena, and whoever else in the 4.90 club. Whatever will I do? How will I get this goofy grin off of my face
Oily - Congratulations on joining the 4.90 Club with your impossible ratings: Grand-High Poobah, I simply can not understand why the members of the 4.90 Club don't like you. I mean, you are Literotica Father of the Year and most popular author. Happy Father's Day!!! I bet the twisted Kitten sisters and the other girls in the 4.90 Club wish you were their daddy.
DK - Oh Scribbly, I'm so proud of you... All that work to find out that information. I bet it gave you a terrible headache. You should go rest and I'll make sure that they bring your bowl of alpo right up to you.
My father has passed away, and I don't feel the need for another, thank you. Calling someone daddy is very...icky. As in the ewwww icky. But if you want to call him Daddy, I'm sure the voices in your head will be fine with it. Now be a good dog and quit bothering these very nice and talented authors with your simple and mundane attempts at sarcasm. Go on, sit...Stay
Moon - Lemme check EBay
Oily - Grand-High Poobah, your Reading Club should contact Oprah and tell her all about the 4.90 Club we have here at Literotica. Then maybe these authors with almost perfect ratings can crack the best seller list with their wonderful novels with cute covers and mostly nothing in between
DK - Scribbly doo, you're so cute when you do that. But really, smelling someone's crotch that way is in bad taste. I'll have to get out the stun collar if you must continue. Oprah might actually like my stories, yes, I think Grand-High Poobah should have her called in. I myself don't watch her show or think that much of it, but she's always been popular...might not hurt. Lastly, Scribbly Doo, I signed you up for that class on sarcasm, though I think we'll most probably have to find you a tutor, you are sorely lacking on natural talent. Anyway, make sure you water your fire hydrant before you go to bed and eat all your scooby snacks, we want you to grow into a fine, healthy scribbly doo. So sit, stay
Moon - Grand-High Poobah, I used to have some respect for you. Since you began this thread, I have begun to see you for what you are. A sad, petulant, jealous, egotist. You seem to have a hard time accepting that there are better writers at Lit than you. I've read some of your work, and there is nothing that stands out about it. Odd, I checked your numbers at SOL last night. Your "top story" at Lit seems to be just run of the mill fodder at SOL, your numbers there for it are about average for reads, and slightly below average for score. What does this lead me to believe? It makes me wonder if your numbers are either an abberation at Lit, or if you aren't using software to continually "visit" your story just to jack the numbers up. Yes, writers do develop faithful readerships, MS is an example of that. There has been no incest in the story for 5 or 6 chapters, and very little sex. Yet, it continues to do well. People actually read it for the story. So quit trying to dream up conspiracies, and blaming others for your shortcomings and failings. Look in the mirror, that's where your problem lies.
DK - Welcome Marsh. Now you can either get the 4.90 super decoder ring or, for a little bit higher dues you can get this wonderful spy glass (as soon as Moonie finishes up the cracker jacks that is). You've also got to learn the secret hand shake and take the pledge, as soon as Selena finishes making it up. Molly was working on the handshake but she was having problems figuring out how to do it over the computer. Anyway... Welcome aboard, it's great having you here
Moon - Grand-High Poobah, you could definitely benefit from the above topics of discussion
DK - You should invite Poobs to the florida lit-together. He could come and speak on how to write such glorious best sellers that leave us all eating his dust...
DK - That is deserving of a huge..."SNERK
Oily - Grand-High Poobah, you neglected to mention that Miss D. Kitten will lecture on "How a Member of the Literotica 4.90 Club on Literotica Can Submit a Story to LustyLibrary That Gets 1045 Views, 5 Votes, and 2 Comments, One of Which is Hers and the Other of Which is Her Buddy sickpuppy123's
DK - Oh Scribbly...I'm so disappointed in you. I thought maybe with a tutor you could find something much more interesting to talk about than that "other website". I guess I should stop the check on the tutor because he sure didn't teach you anything. I guess I was expecting miracles, considering you still aren't housebroken...sigh. Oh well, no scooby snacks for you tonight. So as always, sit...stay!
DK - Oh but Scribbly Doo is so cute when he chases his own tail...over and over. I actually believe that he slammed into the wall once or twice too many times. It could have something to do with the saliva that drips from his jowls and the rolling eyes.
DK - was hoping it wouldn't be necessary but I guess he hasn't been socialized with people very often. He certainly doesn't play well with others. Poor little guy. Think it could be because he has such a tiny....
DK - Why take him to the vet, I have a rubber band. That should do the trick and it won't be as expensive. I mean I took Riley, the new puppy to the vet today and it was $78. That was only heartworm and a checkup. He didn't even get his shots yet.
Moon - Do you think? And here I thought he was the biggest dick around...
DK - Attitude has nothing to do with...Penis...size.
Moon - picture him with a really bad comb over....dunno why...just do...
Moon - Oh god, that made me laugh...imagine him with a little wig on his little head....
Moon - Drawing a little smiley face on it...
DK - Snort (I miss all kinds of good stuff by going to bed and that in itself should be considered a sin)
Oily - So now I see you are the Queen of Incest with power ratings of . . .4.88 489 votes Montana Summer Ch. 14 4.87 646 votes Montana Summer Ch. 07 4.87 552 votes Montana Summer ch. 15
Giving any credibility to those kind of vote totals on a multi-chapter not much sex Incest epic is like trying to convince someone that the frigid Kitten sisters have had a big O since 1982. Well, this proves one thing--women like you simply can not write Incest stories like the King of Incest (Grand-High Poobah )
Moon- Here is the "King's" highest ranked Incest story. 366 4.81 683 Gayle's Dad Grand-High Poobah 11/02/05 Now, let's look at some others. I don't think DK or SW write in this category. Selena's 143 4.84 172 Under Mr. Nolan's Bed Ch. 13 SelenaKittyn 08/31/06 Clearly, Selena is 223 spots ahead of the "King". And lastly, me....1 4.88 489 Montana Summer Ch. 14 drksideofthemoon 01/23/07 9 4.87 646 Montana Summer Ch. 07 drksideofthemoon 11/28/05 10 4.87 554 Montana Summer Ch. 15 drksideofthemoon 05/18/07 . I don't like blowing my own horn, Mr. Grand-High Poobah ...but I occupy 3 spots in the top 10 with a real story that has little sex. So, you are correct, we don't write incest stories like the self-proclaimed "king". We do it better
DK - God how soon he forgets. Remember about a year or so ago, Bri...you conned me into writing an incest story. I wrote Whispers and Storm Tossed Siblings. Recently added A Royal Fucking, which was just something stupid and fun for me to write. None of my incest stories are ranked any higher than 4.70, most a lot lower. I don't really much pay attention to ratings anymore either, not since my main focus is to take something I enjoy doing (writing) and make a living at it.
DK - And the publisher just wrote me about one of my Scifi/fantasy stories, they are buying it...
Moon- Congratulations....
Moon - And I'll be cheering you on...
DK - Marsh...you told me you didn't like golden showers...
[size=+2]
Seeing as these three seem to want a comedy thread here on Lit (and amuse us all with their incredible wit), I thought I’d furnish them with their own thread. The hope being, of course, that they’d leave my beautiful thread alone, and so allow my hundreds of thousands of fans the opportunity to read my thoughts without having to wade through acres of chaff before arriving at the true nuggets.
And to help get it started I’ve included the posts this dynamic group has made in ‘scouries house’ over the last couple of weeks. The only change I made as to excise my name from your posts and replace it with my new title. Good luck you guys! You could sell this stuff…
Moon - I'm quite honored that you tossed me in with such talent, the 2005, and 2006 Writers of Year. SK and DK must be doing something right
Moon - A bit over the top? That could qualify for the understatement of the year. What I want to know is why you have to self promote your work if you are indeed the "Best Selling Author"? I do absolutely no self promotion, either here, or in my non-existant signature, and I still get a fair number of reads
Oily - Hey girl, since you sound so much like the twisted sisters and kiss so much ass, maybe you should change your name to SmittenKitten
DK - Sorry, that just deserves a "Snerk!"
Moon - I dunno, you seem to the one with the lip lock on the ‘Grand-High Poobah’s' sphincter...
DK - Sure, I'm good to the highest bidder...
Moon - Quite honestly, I don't want to be number anything. My enjoyment comes from the writing, I don't care if my stories get read or not.
Oily - LMFAO! I read some of your reviews of new stories. You seem to be the king of flawed criticism, as far as I am concerned. And you are almost as big of a kiss as SmittenKitten (formerly known as drksideofthemoon
Oily - You sure bitch a lot about the same thing for a guy. Maybe your user name is too insignificant to be remembered. In any event, in terms of reviewing stories, nobody can top the Grand-High Poobahs' critique of last year's Nude Day entries. Unless, of course, he tops it himself with an entirely enlightening evaluation of this year's Nude Day stories
DK - Sev, arguing with this guy is like hitting your head against a brick wall. It does no good and can leave you with brain damage
Oily - Some of your "best-selling" Lit authors write like someone is twisting their arms to get down and dirty. But not you, Grand-High Poobah. Now you go and write that Nude Day Contest story and prove to everyone once again that this is a fucking porn site and not True Romance magazine
DK - Doesn't it sometimes feel like we're butting in on a romantic candlelit dinner between the two?
Moon - Yabut, I think there is only one at the table....lefty and righty...I didn't say that did I?
Moon - I know...I've often asked myself the same question
Oily - These obsessive-compulsive drama queens with multiple personality disorder can't help themselves from posting on this thread. They are addicted to Grand-High Poobah --like millions of other Literotica readers.
Moon - The stories are put in order of their approval, and generally are taken the same way. The stories on the top of the new list are the ones that were approved last. I've had stories come out in all sorts of positions, and it's made little difference. The only thing I have noticed is that Friday is a good day to have a story come out...but in the long run the effect is quite minimal. These observations have been made on chapters of Montana Summer, so the category has stayed the same in all submissions.
DK - I have no clue how the stories get placed. I know some categories are on the bottom of the list, maybe the more taboo ones. But to me, I scan the entire list looking for author's I enjoy reading then I go from there. So placement means about squat to me. I think crying foul because your story doesn't make the top of the list is somewhat sour grapes. Write something other than taboo and you'll be closer to the top if not on the top of the list.
Moon - I just think it;s in the order that they approve them, I've had chapters for MS come out anywhere from in the top few places to near the bottom....and from my observance of MS, it doesn't really change anything....people will go through the New List with a fine tooth comb, looking for what they like...
Oily - LMFAO! That's easy for someone who always has her stories near the top of the New list to say. Like today. And you always have the "H" and a bunch of phony comments on the new story before most people are even awake. Seems rather orchestrated to me.
DK - Hmmm, maybe it's because I have a huge fan base, I write stories that people want to read and I don't have a pissant like you coming around to kiss my ass. If I write something that sucks, my fans tell me just as they tell me when they like something I write. Seriously, for someone who doesn't write stories of thier own, you sure have a big mouth when it comes to how this site is ran...
DK - That was so nice of you
DK - That might mean you'd have to give up your day job and follow him around 24/7... not that I think he sounds silly or anything
Oily - Well, aren't you special. At least on Literotica. But nobody wanted to read your stories when you posted them on LustyLibrary, now did they. You were a nonentity. Your fan base on Literotica is mostly smoke and mirrors. The Grand-High Poobah has the real fan base on this site
Moon - Dear Scrabbled and Grand-High Poobah et al, Being a legend in your own mind doesn't mean you have a fan base. I just checked the favorites portal. Where are you? Yes, way down there. Your much ballyhooed numbers are unsubstantiated for the most part. You are not the most popular writer on Lit, nor are you the most read. I don't think the readers could give a crap about you. How many nominations did you receive for the year end contest? Subtracting your own, you had none. Where were your legions of adoring fans? It's one thing to pimp your own work, but when you start impuning the integrity of other writers around here, it's time to stand up and tell you to FUCK RIGHT OFF!
DK - Wow, thanks guys, I feel like such a damsel in a dress...I mean distress. Scribblydoo (cause he reminds me of Scrappy Doo, all bark, very very little bite and always yapping up nonsense) can write whatever he thinks about me. Being a nonentity at Lusty Library really did not bother me all that much. Some places aren't a fit, and it wasn't the place for me. But here and on the other two sites I write for, I do pretty good. I'm happy here and much happier not to be at that other site. So let him throw that in my face if he wants, I think I'll survive the pain of it all. Besides, he's beginning to sound like a broken record
Moon - Well, I was going to submit a story at Lusty Library, but I wasn't comfortable with their terms and conditions, so decided against submitting anything there.
DK - Very smart idea. Ms. LL seems to think that because you submit your work to her site, she owns it from there on in. She also thinks she has the rights to make money off of your work and not pay you for it. So think twice before submitting to that site. She won't take it down for anything unless you do what I did and throw a fit. I still have stories up over there but I consider them lost. Any site that considers claiming the work of others as their own property does not get my business
Oily - ROTFLMAO!!! Those ratings are about as "real" as phony baloney. Do the math. Let's take Heaven in Her Eyes Ch. 16 4.91 rating/91 votes 5 votes = 88 4 votes = 3 No 1, 2, or 3 votes That's how you get a 4.91 rating on 91 votes Some authors get all the low votes removed (even some 4 votes), and some authors don't
DK - So what are you laughing about? That I get good scores? I don't ask to have bad votes removed. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion and if I can't handle the bad, I shouldn't be here. Why don't you just admit you're in way over your head here. I mean, you're here with people who can use words with more than a single syllable. Scribblydoo, my ratings are just as real as your most exalted asskissee. So there... Now go, run with some sharp scissors or play in traffic as people of your mentality are prone to do.
Moon - Well, Grand-High Poobah, did you ever think of the possibility that her story didn't get any 1, 2 or 3 votes...well, unless you personally trolled her? Somehow that wouldn't surprise me
DK - No, actually Marsh, he thinks that whole site revolves around me. I mean look, I'm always in the top ten spots on the new list. I have to have the bad scores knocked off because far be it for me to write something deserving of a good score, and I probably sent naked pictures of myself out to get people to add me to their favorites list...oh wait, someone else did that already...
Moon - Well, you still have a ways to got before you can claim to be number one. That's the funny thing about numbers, you can always twist them to suit your own purposes. Your story is still a long way down the ladder before it can be the top story on the site. You're the one that has eluded to having a huge fan base, where are they? Why haven't they sent you to the top of the Favorites Portal? Why didn't any of them nominate you? I personally don't want to be nominated, and I have declined every nomination made for me, or for my work both here at Lit, and at another site that I have since left. I don't have an ego to fuel.
As Ms. Cloudy mentioned, views don't mean a thing. I noticed something when I went into the Incest/Taboo category, your two stories are conviently placed at the top of the first page. I think this is the secret to your success. The score on your top-rated certainly wouldn't be what would I describe as even moderately successful. I wonder how many of the views are actual reads? I rarely talk about the numbers for my own work, but you asked once about all of Montana Summer, the totals are well into the 7 digit range.
Oily - Well Grand-High Poobah, I see your story "Family Secrets" is in the #49 position on today's New list. You cracked the top 50!!! Moving up in the Lit world aren't we now? Little Miss Almost Perfect Rating must have put in the good word for you with the powers that be. All the brown-nosing by you and your fan club is definitely paying off. Literotica's most popular author (you) certainly deserves to be treated like a (drama) queen, much like those twisted Kitten sisters. Although I think maybe we should have a vagina check on drksideof themoon because we could be talking triplets here. Why Scouries, you keep kissing ass and I predict you soon will have a 4.90 rating too!
DK - YAP YAP YAP, Scribblydoo. You really should start singing a different song. That one is getting quite boring. Now be a good puppy and go lie down. Stay!
DK - Beautifully quoted Caprine
DK - If you promise to kiss it all better, you can whip me if you'd like
DK - He lives in his own little scribbly doo universe, Selena. There he is top dog and can look down from his dog house on all us kittens. Sev, we gotta wait until my husband goes to sleep...shhh
Moon - Where's your "H"? Don't tell me that your fan base has let you down?
DK - Did you guys forget? He thinks the little red H's should be banned. Maybe Laurel is banning them just for him...
Moon - Well, he is special
Oily - All 10 of those stories mentioned? And no doubt there are more with a rating of 4.90 or higher. Why yes, the Grand-High Poobah did think of that possibility. He calculated the probability to be .0000001 of Daniellekitten having that many stories with no 1, 2, or 3 votes and only a few 4 votes. It is quite the mystery why the readers at Literotica think she is so wonderful while the readers at LustyLibrary think she sucks. Oh Grand-High Poobah, you'll never guess who else is in the 4.90 Club. Right, drksideofthemoon and SelenaKitten
Moon - And just how did you come to that conclusion, and generally probabilities are stated as a ratio, as 1 in 10, 1 in 100...etc. It's no mystery. It's quite simple, Danielle and Selena are both terrific writers. Something that you aren't
Oily - That's not what Walter at LustyLibrary said about Danielle when she tooted her horn:
But you keep saying it again and again, drksideofthemoon, like you have many times before, and it will be the truth. At least on this site.
Moon - One comment from a putz named Walter? That's the best you can do, Scouries?
DK - I've said it once, I'll say it again, Scribbly doo...yap yap yap, you're such a broken record. Is this the best you can do? I wonder why you even bother anymore considering that your blather is not much more than an annoying whine. I actually don't really give a damn about what was said about me at that other site. I don't care what a lot of people on this site think. I write so that I can get the experience and get published in the real world and not here. So, say what you will...it comes out as an annoying buzz that is so simply repetitive that you're actually making a fool of yourself... So sit, stay, good boy.
Moon - Do you think we can teach him to roll over and play dead
DK - Maybe, but only if we had one of those stun collars.
Oily - So I see you're a member of the 4.90 Club too. Like Daniellekitten, drksideofthemoon, and SelenaKitten. Surprise, surprise. I'll have to go see who else has achieved impossible ratings.
DK - Scribbly doo, you really need to learn how to insult someone. If being a member of the 4.90 club is supposed to be an insult, well, I'll take that kind of insult anytime. Is it jealousy? Can scribbly doo puppy feel jealousy? Someone needs to take a rolled up newspaper to your nose
Moon - Yeah, it's quite the insult to included in with you and Selena, and whoever else in the 4.90 club. Whatever will I do? How will I get this goofy grin off of my face
Oily - Congratulations on joining the 4.90 Club with your impossible ratings: Grand-High Poobah, I simply can not understand why the members of the 4.90 Club don't like you. I mean, you are Literotica Father of the Year and most popular author. Happy Father's Day!!! I bet the twisted Kitten sisters and the other girls in the 4.90 Club wish you were their daddy.
DK - Oh Scribbly, I'm so proud of you... All that work to find out that information. I bet it gave you a terrible headache. You should go rest and I'll make sure that they bring your bowl of alpo right up to you.
My father has passed away, and I don't feel the need for another, thank you. Calling someone daddy is very...icky. As in the ewwww icky. But if you want to call him Daddy, I'm sure the voices in your head will be fine with it. Now be a good dog and quit bothering these very nice and talented authors with your simple and mundane attempts at sarcasm. Go on, sit...Stay
Moon - Lemme check EBay
Oily - Grand-High Poobah, your Reading Club should contact Oprah and tell her all about the 4.90 Club we have here at Literotica. Then maybe these authors with almost perfect ratings can crack the best seller list with their wonderful novels with cute covers and mostly nothing in between
DK - Scribbly doo, you're so cute when you do that. But really, smelling someone's crotch that way is in bad taste. I'll have to get out the stun collar if you must continue. Oprah might actually like my stories, yes, I think Grand-High Poobah should have her called in. I myself don't watch her show or think that much of it, but she's always been popular...might not hurt. Lastly, Scribbly Doo, I signed you up for that class on sarcasm, though I think we'll most probably have to find you a tutor, you are sorely lacking on natural talent. Anyway, make sure you water your fire hydrant before you go to bed and eat all your scooby snacks, we want you to grow into a fine, healthy scribbly doo. So sit, stay
Moon - Grand-High Poobah, I used to have some respect for you. Since you began this thread, I have begun to see you for what you are. A sad, petulant, jealous, egotist. You seem to have a hard time accepting that there are better writers at Lit than you. I've read some of your work, and there is nothing that stands out about it. Odd, I checked your numbers at SOL last night. Your "top story" at Lit seems to be just run of the mill fodder at SOL, your numbers there for it are about average for reads, and slightly below average for score. What does this lead me to believe? It makes me wonder if your numbers are either an abberation at Lit, or if you aren't using software to continually "visit" your story just to jack the numbers up. Yes, writers do develop faithful readerships, MS is an example of that. There has been no incest in the story for 5 or 6 chapters, and very little sex. Yet, it continues to do well. People actually read it for the story. So quit trying to dream up conspiracies, and blaming others for your shortcomings and failings. Look in the mirror, that's where your problem lies.
DK - Welcome Marsh. Now you can either get the 4.90 super decoder ring or, for a little bit higher dues you can get this wonderful spy glass (as soon as Moonie finishes up the cracker jacks that is). You've also got to learn the secret hand shake and take the pledge, as soon as Selena finishes making it up. Molly was working on the handshake but she was having problems figuring out how to do it over the computer. Anyway... Welcome aboard, it's great having you here
Moon - Grand-High Poobah, you could definitely benefit from the above topics of discussion
DK - You should invite Poobs to the florida lit-together. He could come and speak on how to write such glorious best sellers that leave us all eating his dust...
DK - That is deserving of a huge..."SNERK
Oily - Grand-High Poobah, you neglected to mention that Miss D. Kitten will lecture on "How a Member of the Literotica 4.90 Club on Literotica Can Submit a Story to LustyLibrary That Gets 1045 Views, 5 Votes, and 2 Comments, One of Which is Hers and the Other of Which is Her Buddy sickpuppy123's
DK - Oh Scribbly...I'm so disappointed in you. I thought maybe with a tutor you could find something much more interesting to talk about than that "other website". I guess I should stop the check on the tutor because he sure didn't teach you anything. I guess I was expecting miracles, considering you still aren't housebroken...sigh. Oh well, no scooby snacks for you tonight. So as always, sit...stay!
DK - Oh but Scribbly Doo is so cute when he chases his own tail...over and over. I actually believe that he slammed into the wall once or twice too many times. It could have something to do with the saliva that drips from his jowls and the rolling eyes.
DK - was hoping it wouldn't be necessary but I guess he hasn't been socialized with people very often. He certainly doesn't play well with others. Poor little guy. Think it could be because he has such a tiny....
DK - Why take him to the vet, I have a rubber band. That should do the trick and it won't be as expensive. I mean I took Riley, the new puppy to the vet today and it was $78. That was only heartworm and a checkup. He didn't even get his shots yet.
Moon - Do you think? And here I thought he was the biggest dick around...
DK - Attitude has nothing to do with...Penis...size.
Moon - picture him with a really bad comb over....dunno why...just do...
Moon - Oh god, that made me laugh...imagine him with a little wig on his little head....
Moon - Drawing a little smiley face on it...
DK - Snort (I miss all kinds of good stuff by going to bed and that in itself should be considered a sin)
Oily - So now I see you are the Queen of Incest with power ratings of . . .4.88 489 votes Montana Summer Ch. 14 4.87 646 votes Montana Summer Ch. 07 4.87 552 votes Montana Summer ch. 15
Giving any credibility to those kind of vote totals on a multi-chapter not much sex Incest epic is like trying to convince someone that the frigid Kitten sisters have had a big O since 1982. Well, this proves one thing--women like you simply can not write Incest stories like the King of Incest (Grand-High Poobah )
Moon- Here is the "King's" highest ranked Incest story. 366 4.81 683 Gayle's Dad Grand-High Poobah 11/02/05 Now, let's look at some others. I don't think DK or SW write in this category. Selena's 143 4.84 172 Under Mr. Nolan's Bed Ch. 13 SelenaKittyn 08/31/06 Clearly, Selena is 223 spots ahead of the "King". And lastly, me....1 4.88 489 Montana Summer Ch. 14 drksideofthemoon 01/23/07 9 4.87 646 Montana Summer Ch. 07 drksideofthemoon 11/28/05 10 4.87 554 Montana Summer Ch. 15 drksideofthemoon 05/18/07 . I don't like blowing my own horn, Mr. Grand-High Poobah ...but I occupy 3 spots in the top 10 with a real story that has little sex. So, you are correct, we don't write incest stories like the self-proclaimed "king". We do it better
DK - God how soon he forgets. Remember about a year or so ago, Bri...you conned me into writing an incest story. I wrote Whispers and Storm Tossed Siblings. Recently added A Royal Fucking, which was just something stupid and fun for me to write. None of my incest stories are ranked any higher than 4.70, most a lot lower. I don't really much pay attention to ratings anymore either, not since my main focus is to take something I enjoy doing (writing) and make a living at it.
DK - And the publisher just wrote me about one of my Scifi/fantasy stories, they are buying it...
Moon- Congratulations....
Moon - And I'll be cheering you on...
DK - Marsh...you told me you didn't like golden showers...
Ho, Ho, Ho…what cards these guys are…ya gotta luv em…
PLEASE DO NOT POST REPLIES ON THIS THREAD
THIS IS ORIGINAL WORK AND IS THE COPYRIGHTED PROPERTY OF MOONMAN, OILY AND DANIELL A. KITTEN
THIS IS ORIGINAL WORK AND IS THE COPYRIGHTED PROPERTY OF MOONMAN, OILY AND DANIELL A. KITTEN
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The Three Laughing Amigos
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