Guys: What is sexy to you??

[intrigued]

This has been on my mind alot lately, so I thought this would be a good place to come for answers. This is really a two part question. I would like to know what you think is sexy in a woman? What first catches your eye...then, what holds your attention? Please, I am not just talking about physical attributes, but also mentally; personality, mannerisms, etc. I am talking about initial encounters, and also in relationships. And in relationships, what is the sexiest thing a woman can do, that time after time, still "gets you"?
Also, here at Lit...what do you find sexy in a woman...in both her pics and her postings in general?

I guess in all fairness, I should ask the ladies what they find sexy in a man, as well. OKOK. I'll start another thread...

Thanks very much, back in a bit

 

[Siren]

 

[intrigued]

First Post cuz I know you have another name at Lit.

I recognize your face, but the name is different.

Nope....this is my one and only ID. And thanks for your thoughts.

 

[Siren]

 

[Bob Peale]

Confidence.

I don't mean "I know I'm good", either.

I mean, there is something about a woman who can walk in room and radiate the fact that, good or bad, she's there and she's bringing whatever she's got.

Hair is the way she likes it, the outfit she's wearing makes her feel good, whether she's there alone or with someone, and whether she goes home alone or with someone, she's still a happy woman.

The type of person who laughs at what she thinks is funny, and can let you know when she doesn't agree without needing to be loud or right.

That type of woman is incredibly sexy.

As for here at Lit, I'm big on subtlety. Most of the people I've found most attractive I did so by peeling back the onion. The pictures got more revealing, the conversation got more cerebral. Don't get me wrong, there are some people here that are undeniably attractive, but it was the way they carried themselves - being able to hold a non sexual conversation, being definite about their thoughts and beliefs, being bold without being brazen, that first attracted my attention.

 

[Siren]

 

[ma_guy]

I don't think I could say it any better than Bob Peale just did. Well done Bob!

 

[IrishWolfhound]

Humor...the ability to laugh in & out of bed.

And the ability to make me feel desired.

And as Bob noted...confidence. The confidence to open herself up to you..show herself physically & emotionally.

 

[IrishWolfhound]

Oh..BTW. The lady in your AV pic looks damn sexy.

 

[Imaginator]

Make 'em laugh

The way a woman laughs. Now, with some women, it can be quite loud and annoying, almost as though they'll laugh at almost anything. But with the right woman, whether stimulated by a humorous remark or simply spontaneous, I think it's the sexiest turn-on for me.

Not that I mean it makes the old soldier stand at attention, but it touches me in another way that I can't describe.

 

[IrishWolfhound]

Re: Make 'em laugh

The way a woman laughs. Now, with some women, it can be quite loud and annoying, almost as though they'll laugh at almost anything. But with the right woman, whether stimulated by a humorous remark or simply spontaneous, I think it's the sexiest turn-on for me.

Not that I mean it makes the old soldier stand at attention, but it touches me in another way that I can't describe.

Except when they do it when I take my pants off. That's a definite turn-off.

 

[intrigued]

I want to thank you all, these replies speak volumes about what I already believed, and its nice to know I was right. One thing does suprise me, and thats the comment by IrishWolfhound about having the confidence to express emotion. That was a refreshing comment, and a little suprising. I have finally gotten to the place where I can do this quite easily. My past experience with showing emotion to a man usually met with withdrawal or silence from him. I learned the hard way to hold back. Now, at 41, and after finally getting to know this woman that I am, I have realized I was doing myself a disservice....I have to be me, and hiding that person left me miserable.
I particularly enjoyed Bob Peales comments...and the fact that subtlety is so appreciated. I'm big on subtlety...it evokes a response in me each and every time I encounter it. Its attractive, its enticing, and so compelling. Its like the difference between a slow tease, and an all out blast of complete nudity....or maybe the difference between easing your body into cold water versus diving right in. I like wiggling my toes into it, a toe at a time...so slowly. Subtlety draws you in.......just like a good, intriguing mystery.
Maintaining a little decorum is rather appealing......

And Irishwolfhound, thank you, that lady is me.

 

[patient1]

I'd say that here being clever & articulate count for quite a bit.

 

[teddybear4play]

Well, Bob pretty much nailed most of the non-physical qualities I look for. Although I also like a bit of modesty and demureness to go with the confidence. Don't ask me why.

Physically, I won't lie; I'm a breast man. Always have been, always will be. But if all a woman has is her breasts, I won't be any more than just initially attracted. Furthermore, if a woman doesn't have an attractive face, especially eyes, her boobs could be bigger than her head and I wouldn't care.

TB4p

 

[sch00lteacher]

This is about all it takes for me. Something about every woman is sexy.

http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/img/female.jpg

 

[IrishWolfhound]

And Irishwolfhound, thank you, that lady is me.

He he....I kinda thought it might be.

 

[intrigued]

I'd say that here being clever & articulate count for quite a bit.

Yes, there is major appeal in that....

We all react to beauty....sexiness, whatever it is that appeals to us, mentally first....subconsciously. After that initial assessment is made, so many other things hit me all at once, and therein, I'm often suprised. A man can be unattractive physically, but use his eyes a certain way, reveal a little confidence and "attitude", or laugh at something in such a way that his eyes flash.....or reveal a glimpse of something compelling in his thoughts, and suddenly, he is so very attractive....and I am just shivering.

I'm so easy.


Thanks for sharing, and please continue to, as all of my questions were not answered by all...

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

There is the physical side of sexy and the personality/mental side. I find many women attractive physically and physical attraction is too much to get into - it would easier to list turn offs than turn ons. I do tend towards what I call "exotic" beauty; women who are of a mixed race, such as Asian and Caucasian seem to represent the best of both worlds to me. I tend towards smaller dark haired women for some reason - not necessarily petite, but maybe shorter. That doesn't mean I don't like tall blond women - for instance, I find Desert Amazon very attractive. I could go on and on for hours about what I find physically attractive because I like a lot of different phsyical attributes except the extremes, but like I said, it would be easier to list what I don't find attactive:

I prefer women to have some semblence of an hourglass shape figure. Wide hips are good (but not so wide that a woman waddles). So women who are obese turn me off in part because there is usually no hourglass shape, in part because it says to me "unhealthy", and in part because I had a bad relationship with someone who became obese. Most of that is my genetic programming, so people can save the flames, insults and hurt feelings - I've heard it all before about "loving the inner person" etc. - if loving only an inner person were enough then just talking to them on the phone, or on the internet would be enough for most people. Or loving a cat, dog or even my motorcycle would be enough.

Other turn offs - piercings, tattoos, obvious body mods, anything fake (overdone makeup - just a little is enough), too much perfume. obviously fake hair color, even if it is just blonde. Hair made up so that it is stiff - give me natural soft flowing hair any day. Purple, green, dyed white streaks or blue hair - turn off. Natural red hair with green eyes - turn on. Natural blonde hair with blue eyes, turn on.

Too skinny - turn off. For me, if they exist at all (as in larger than my own), breasts cannot be too small, but they can be too large - shape being more important than size, and nipples being more important than shape or size. Nipples could theoretically be too large, but I have never seen any too large that I didn't think were fake (pics of women with 3 inch long nipples are usually the result of breast pumps).

A pretty face, especially with a nice smile can do more for me than the rest of the body, assuming the body is somewhat attractive. A nice voice is a blessing (again DA has a very nice feminine and sexy voice).

Youth is attractive, but I have seen women, such as Ann Margaret, who are many years my senior who have aged quite well.

Personality: Confidence, intelligence and upbeat attitude - turn on. Self-esteem problems, someone who can't think their way out of a paper bag, hypochondria, always worrying, depressed attitude, paranoia - turn offs (run away - fast!).

Women who are independent and have made their own way in the world - turn on. Women who want a sugar daddy or someone with "financial stability" - turn off (run away!).

Women who's priorities coincide with mine - turn on. Women who think the car you drive, the furniture or drapes you have is more important than being able to pay for heat, rent and food - turn offs.

Women who want to make it big in social circles - turn off. Women who can tolerate a friend like Lost Cause, turn on.

I guess I would very much be turned on by someone who was my female analog, but who was of course feminine. Someone wise beyond their years, but young in their outlook. Someone kind, caring and compassionate. Someone not constantly given to moods. Someone who can communicate well.

The above may not sound like a list of what I would find sexy and not-sexy, but that is it for better or worse.

 

[IrishWolfhound]

I'm so easy.


...

Oh yeah....that too!!!!!

Kidding aside...perhaps a sign of latent maturity kicking in (shudders) but I'm far more interested in who I'm going to see across the breakfast table than who I'm going to bed with. If a lady can't keep up with me mentally, I could care less what physical attributes she has. Nothing worse than spending time with a dull person. That'd be my personal definition of Hell.

 

[intrigued]

There is the physical side of sexy and the personality/mental side. I find many women attractive physically and physical attraction is too much to get into - it would easier to list turn offs than turn ons. I do tend towards what I call "exotic" beauty; women who are of a mixed race, such as Asian and Caucasian seem to represent the best of both worlds to me. I tend towards smaller dark haired women for some reason - not necessarily petite, but maybe shorter. That doesn't mean I don't like tall blond women - for instance, I find Desert Amazon very attractive. I could go on and on for hours about what I find physically attractive because I like a lot of different phsyical attributes except the extremes, but like I said, it would be easier to list what I don't find attactive:

I prefer women to have some semblence of an hourglass shape figure. Wide hips are good (but not so wide that a woman waddles). So women who are obese turn me off in part because there is usually no hourglass shape, in part because it says to me "unhealthy", and in part because I had a bad relationship with someone who became obese. Most of that is my genetic programming, so people can save the flames, insults and hurt feelings - I've heard it all before about "loving the inner person" etc. - if loving only an inner person were enough then just talking to them on the phone, or on the internet would be enough for most people. Or loving a cat, dog or even my motorcycle would be enough.

Other turn offs - piercings, tattoos, obvious body mods, anything fake (overdone makeup - just a little is enough), too much perfume. obviously fake hair color, even if it is just blonde. Hair made up so that it is stiff - give me natural soft flowing hair any day. Purple, green, dyed white streaks or blue hair - turn off. Natural red hair with green eyes - turn on. Natural blonde hair with blue eyes, turn on.

Too skinny - turn off. For me, if they exist at all (as in larger than my own), breasts cannot be too small, but they can be too large - shape being more important than size, and nipples being more important than shape or size. Nipples could theoretically be too large, but I have never seen any too large that I didn't think were fake (pics of women with 3 inch long nipples are usually the result of breast pumps).

A pretty face, especially with a nice smile can do more for me than the rest of the body, assuming the body is somewhat attractive. A nice voice is a blessing (again DA has a very nice feminine and sexy voice).

Youth is attractive, but I have seen women, such as Ann Margaret, who are many years my senior who have aged quite well.

Personality: Confidence, intelligence and upbeat attitude - turn on. Self-esteem problems, someone who can't think their way out of a paper bag, hypochondria, always worrying, depressed attitude, paranoia - turn offs (run away - fast!).

Women who are independent and have made their own way in the world - turn on. Women who want a sugar daddy or someone with "financial stability" - turn off (run away!).

Women who's priorities coincide with mine - turn on. Women who think the car you drive, the furniture or drapes you have is more important than being able to pay for heat, rent and food - turn offs.

Women who want to make it big in social circles - turn off. Women who can tolerate a friend like Lost Cause, turn on.

I guess I would very much be turned on by someone who was my female analog, but who was of course feminine. Someone wise beyond their years, but young in their outlook. Someone kind, caring and compassionate. Someone not constantly given to moods. Someone who can communicate well.

The above may not sound like a list of what I would find sexy and not-sexy, but that is it for better or worse.

I am so very impressed. Thank you...thank you. You echo my own thoughts with regard to men...and people in general.

 

[ma_guy]

Kidding aside...perhaps a sign of latent maturity kicking in (shudders) but I'm far more interested in who I'm going to see across the breakfast table than who I'm going to bed with. If a lady can't keep up with me mentally, I could care less what physical attributes she has. Nothing worse than spending time with a dull person. That'd be my personal definition of Hell.

Latent maturity? Ahhh! I think they have pills for that.

But, I'd agree with you Irishwolfhound. Physical attraction is fine if you're looking for a one-night stand but if she can't string more than 3 words together in a coherent sentence then buh-bye. Being a rocket scientist isn't necessary but someone that can communicate and express thoughts clearly wins out over an air-head any day.

 

[Imaginator]

My past experience with showing emotion to a man usually met with withdrawal or silence from him. I learned the hard way to hold back. Now, at 41, and after finally getting to know this woman that I am, I have realized I was doing myself a disservice....I have to be me, and hiding that person left me miserable.

Intrigued, I believe you hit it right on the nose for me. When a woman is being herself, that can be one of the most sexiest things about her.

My supervisor at work is a very attractive black woman. When she first came to work, she always appeared to me to be very reserved and distant. I thought that that was the way she really was. Some might have referred to her personality as snobbish, or what some blacks might call "trying to be white." But having worked closely with her for the past 3 years, I find that at certain times, like when we're in a room together having an ordinary conversation, she seems to become a totally different person, more like what I believe is her real self. And even though physically she's very stunning to look at, it's when she feels comfortable enough with me to let her guard down and be herself, that I find her the most sexy.

 

[Randy]

sexy

One who is demure yet confident. Intelligent yet playful. Looks great in jeans and a white tee shirt.

A woman worldly enough to inspire greatness in a man.

A woman who will wake a man 'up' in a special sort of way.

A woman who demands time alone with her man. Perhaps on the cliffs of Carmel, California or the quiet surf of Sanibel or the shops of Rockport.

As the spirit of youth may fade
The lines of age draw clear
The sands of time flow thin
Emblazened passion never fear.
DMS 06-23-02

Randy

 

[IrishWolfhound]

Damn, Randy. That made me hot, and I'm straight!

 

[intrigued]

Oh yeah....that too!!!!!



Kidding aside...perhaps a sign of latent maturity kicking in (shudders) but I'm far more interested in who I'm going to see across the breakfast table than who I'm going to bed with. If a lady can't keep up with me mentally, I could care less what physical attributes she has. Nothing worse than spending time with a dull person. That'd be my personal definition of Hell.

Oops.....!!



Yes...I so agree with you. I need the stimulation of so much more. A person that can express themselves well...that knows their mind and stands up for their thoughts, beliefs, convictions...is a delight for me. Here again...it all begins in the mind...and then travels. This is where that "ordinary in appearance" person....just shines.

I am so damn easy.


oops.....