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Guys and Dolls, what is the worst Christmas Gift you ever received?

E

ellediablo

Literotica Guru
Joined
Jun 11, 2004
Posts
5,916
I wonder if anyone can top the gifts talked about below?
lol They are rather funny and I cannot believe people gave them!

:heart: Merry Christmas! :heart:

~from funnychristmas.com

Mr. Romantic

I can truly sympathize with all the ladies who have received household items for Christmas... I think I have gotten them all: vacuum cleaner, lamps, sheets & pillowcases, dishes, pots n pans, the works...

But the most impersonal gift that I received that really haunts me to this day has to be the paint roller... the house was in bad need of a paint job and we really couldn't afford to have it done professionally.

That year they had been advertising these new fangled paint rollers on t.v......it was like a sponge on the end of this long handle...you stuck the handle into a can of paint and as you pulled the handle out it would suck the paint up into the tube... as you pushed the handle in it would push the paint up into the sponge, and away you went. Great for all those hard to reach places...lol....no mess...no clean up.

I had to be the worst gift ever. I was tempted to buy myself a nice gold chain, attach the paint roller to it and wear it around my neck one day in hopes that the ex would take the hint to try and get just a lil more personal at Christmas time....
_______

He Lost My Present In A Poker Game

A couple of years ago, right before Christmas, my boyfriend came home from a poker game all upset. When I asked him what was wrong, he told me that he lost so much money at cards that he was not going to be able to get me the gold chain he was going to give me for christmas.

I was mad that he lost a lot of money in the first, but then he tells me I'm not going to get my christmas present!

He ended up giving me the worst present I have ever recieved: a VICKS vaporizer.
_______

Romeo Went Shopping

I will never forget or forgive this one. My now Ex-husband had a bunch of packages under the tree with my name on them. I was so excited! I was thinking "WOW! What a great guy, he really shopped hard, and I probably have everything I asked for under the tree."

Well, Christmas morning rolls around, I am handing him all the great stuff I got for him, and he hands me the first package from him....I open it, and it is a package of SOCKS!

I am thinking, "OK, this has to be a joke..." so I move on to the next one, and it too was another package of socks.....

I open three packages of freaking socks..and informed him that the last one better not be socks...he assured me that it wasn't.....so I am again having high hopes here....I open the last one, and not only is it not socks....its a package of underware....not my size,and granny panties to boot!

That had to be the worst Christmas!! No wonder I divorced him huh!?
_______

Santa Got A Sense of Humor

The worst present I ever got was in my stocking. I got a ziploc bag and on the outside it said in print "You've been naughty so here's the scoop, all you get for Christmas is Snowman poop."

And inside the bag was about 15-20 minature marshmallows.
_______

Recycled Lighter

I'll never forget this Christmas gift... I had been dating this girl for a couple of months, and a couple of days before Christmas, she gave me a cigarette lighter. That wasn't so bad. I liked it.

But then on Christmas Eve, she asked for it back, so she could give it to her stepfather! Needless to say, that was the straw that broke the camel's back!
_______

Ingrate

My worst Christmas present was a used 1954 buick.
_______

You Don't Love Me... You Never Loved Me!

Worst Christmas gift I ever received was from my live-in Filipino girlfriend. She gave me the "CLAPPER"!!

That is a gift you buy for someone in the office polyanna when you draw someone's name you HATE beyond all reproach.

Next to the good ole "Chia Pet", that's got to be a gift that tells you "there's something wrong with this relationship".
Click to expand...


 
Pffft, at least they are still getting something. Try sitting around the family gathering watching your sister and your gaggle of cousins receiving gift after gift from their godparents while you get nil because your godmother is a weirdo drug addict and your godfather was in the state pen and mentally challenged to boot.
 
I wouldn't mind the 1954 Buick, myself.

The worst Christmas I ever had was when my charming wife went on a date with her boyfriends. They were fighting over her.

It turned out to be the best Christmas present though, because I lost 105 pounds of excess weight as a result.
 
Any kind of clothes. If only they would allow people to go naked & I actually looked good naked I would.
 
I'm nasty said:
Any kind of clothes. If only they would allow people to go naked & I actually looked good naked I would.
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me too, babe.
but, i am sure you look good, nasty. :kiss:
 
ellediablo said:
me too, babe.
but, i am sure you look good, nasty. :kiss:
Click to expand...
Wouldn't you like to know. :kiss: I guess if you can call somebody who weighs less then 100 lbs, boney ass, sarisis,(sp?)on my body hot, then, yes, I do.
 
I'm nasty said:
Wouldn't you like to know. :kiss: I guess if you can call somebody who weighs less then 100 lbs, boney ass, sarisis,(sp?)on my body hot, then, yes, I do.
Click to expand...
Someone who weighs less than 100 pounds can look pretty hot.

If she's about 5'5 or less.
 
I'm nasty said:
Wouldn't you like to know. :kiss: I guess if you can call somebody who weighs less then 100 lbs, boney ass, sarisis,(sp?)on my body hot, then, yes, I do.
Click to expand...
O, I bet you look mahvelous, dahling! :kiss:
 
cookiejar said:
I can't remember any actually but I'm not real picky anyway. The way I figure love isn't measured by presents but actions.
Click to expand...
Very nice words and...so true.
 
sticky_keyboard said:
Someone who weighs less than 100 pounds can look pretty hot.

If she's about 5'5 or less.
Click to expand...
I'm not saying someone who weighs less then 100 can't look hot. I know quite a few who do. But, I don't think I qualify.
 
I'm nasty said:
I'm not saying someone who weighs less then 100 can't look hot. I know quite a few who do. But, I don't think I qualify.
Click to expand...
Well, in my book you don't. Nothin' personal, you just don't meet my standards.

My dates need to be female and able to fog a mirror.
 
sticky_keyboard said:
I wouldn't mind the 1954 Buick, myself.

The worst Christmas I ever had was when my charming wife went on a date with her boyfriends. They were fighting over her.

It turned out to be the best Christmas present though, because I lost 105 pounds of excess weight as a result.
Click to expand...

How about a 1957 Chevy?
Or a big black Cadillac, 1957.
 
sticky_keyboard said:
Well, in my book you don't. Nothin' personal, you just don't meet my standards.

My dates need to be female and able to fog a mirror.
Click to expand...
That's ok, none taken. Fog a mirror, that's good, lol. Can I use that one?
 
sticky_keyboard said:
Well, in my book you don't. Nothin' personal, you just don't meet my standards.

My dates need to be female and able to fog a mirror.
Click to expand...
How do you fog a mirror?
 
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