Guy lickin own nipples !

[earnestlover]

Hey honchos !

I am a guy who had a freakin time with women.Now, i'm out and untouched for maybe two years ( i survive by masturbation,man).
I just need a few pointers on optimal masturbation, gettin the best out of my sorry little lonely dick !
you know any tips on great masturbation ? guys, i'm way past sanity.So, who shalt bring me salvation ?
and one more thingie,
i'm a guy who teases his nipples to get aroused ! anyone of you tried it ? it feels great , especially when a woman does it to you.....but now i'm all alone and i rely on myself. So, any help for me ?

 

[MADDOG]

Hey earnestlover... You wouldn't be a hippie by any chance would you?

MADDOG

 

[earnestlover]

No way,man,i ain't no hippie

Hey !
I ain't no hippie.
But, i need to know about this stuff.
think you can provide some pointers ?
why did u ask if i were a hippie, man ?
thanks anyway and hope ya will respond....this
goes for the others too !

 

[Gingersnap]

There is something I am not getting here about your post. What is the freaking time you talk about and now that you are out, all about? I mean are we talking like you were locked up or what?

 

[earnestlover]

Hey ! just solve my problem !

hey !
why do u people keep askin questions ?
so what if i got locked up ?
i wanna have some great time
with myself..until i get a girl again.
so, any pointers on great masturbation....serious ones please !

 

[MADDOG]

OK, maaan! I've got a totally awesome idea dude!

Lie on you're arm until it falls to sleep, maaan! Then when it does, uses your other hand to guide your limp hand over your pork sword, alright! Gnarly! It feels like someone else is doing it for you! If you REALLY want to get freaky dude, paint your nails with your favorite shade of nailpolish! Far Out!

Piece!,
MADDOG
_______________________
Make love - Not war.

 

[Magic Merlin]

ROFLMAO @ MADDOG.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Hold your penis and pull it until white stuff comes out.

If you need help peeling an orange, call me.

 

[earnestlover]

Wow ! dead arms great ! any more ?

People of the educated sexuality !
I thank thee wonderful and lusty personals and
i shall abide by the freaky ways that you have ilustrated to pleasure myself.
But, any other ways ?
i mean, maddog was great !
so, keep ur ideas rollin in....and what about my nipples ?

 

[Rosebud]

ummmmmm.....sorry for once in my life I am speechless

 

[Floating Head]

Pierce your nipples and have nipple rings put in them. Then run a chain from your nipples up through a hook on your ceiling with the other end of the chain wrapped around your ankles. Any small movement from you can then stimulate your nipples.

You might also have your ball sac pierced with a ring and run a small attached to the other chain. Same setup, same result.

You might also hook up a small electrical buzzer with electrodes attached to the chains. The added stimulation might add that extra pizazz your looking for.

At the very least, you have added some uncertainty to the whole masturbation deliberation operation.

 

[Angelique]

Uhhh...did I miss something here? I mean, the title of this thread had me under the impression that someone was a contortionist and could actually lick his own nipples! Then, I thought to myself, if the guy could do THAT, he could certainly blow himself! Oh well, I'm not too disappointed.

At any rate, might I suggest investing some of that hard earned money of yours in a couple of breast pumps...plug 'em in, and turn 'em on...the suction should be sufficient enough to add pleasure to those lonely nights of masturbating.

Rosebud, honey...lemme give ya' a pat on the back...get those words of wisdom flowing from you again.

 

[Rosebud]

roflmao thanks angelique...oh my....use ice cubes on your nipples...hot wax....pliers or anything that grips.....clothespins maybe????

 

[Angelique]

Rosebud...Jumper cables?

 

[Rosebud]

only and i say only if you have a good battery to hook them up to...the perfect way to add zip to your sex life i guess

 

[SimplySouthern]

Warning: Corny Joke to Follow

Jumper cables? Those oughta' get your motor running!

OK...throw the tomatoes..that was corny!

 

[Rosebud]

*bowing to Southern* thankyou i sat here for five minutes and could not get what i wanted to say...you said it perfectly....

 

[Floating Head]

Connect those battery cables to the nipple rings and chains and he will only need to get off once, before he swears off masturbation forever.

Of course, who gets to start the car? He will need help there....

 

[SimplySouthern]

Somehow, I think that would be worse than going blind or having hairy palms!

Rosey....you are more than welcome my dear. Save all applause til the end of the show. No autographs please!

 

[earnestlover]

Hey ! great ways to die !

Guys and gurls !
that were great helpings but i don't want
to die of shockfull pleasure yet !
so, how good are lotions ! and how best to use them ?

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

You're kidding me right? You need help on how to use lotion? You must be the reason shampoo manufacturers still put directions on the bottle.

Okay, here's one I read in Penthouse Forum when I was 14. This guy had a fish tank and discovered that if he fed the fish, then stuck his privates in the water, the sensation of the fish nibbling on his flesh could make him cum.

So stick your cock in a fish bowl.

Rinse.

And Repeat.


[Edited by Dixon Carter Lee on 07-05-2000 at 01:49 PM]

 

[*Eve*]

LOL A MADDOG and DCL!!

 

[MADDOG]

Stick your dick in a what now?!

LMAO! OK, I have a question. How exactly do you "Discover" that if you put your dick in a fish bowl you can cum? I mean, how do you take that first step in your journey of self discovery?

MADDOG

 

[SimplySouthern]

You are a sick man, Charlie Brown

Oh boy...I don't even wanna know.

Goes a little something like this....was feeding the fish in the nude one day (don't we all do this) when all of the sudden I felt the strangest nibbling on the end of my privy member (always wanted to say that ) What do you know, the fish were giving me head!

 

[earnestlover]

something fishy here !

Hey !
People, i am not that desperate to get
down to my fishy instincts ( what would u call it ?
a fishjob ???)
so, i am going to soon post something great
on this thread,.....meanwhile,,keep those
fishy and slippery ideas rolling in !

can the fish nibble my nipples too ? i have a piranha for a pet...so, that idea might be a little far out !