Guess

CandiCame

Rocket Grunt
Joined
Apr 12, 2011
Posts
26,765
Hey, I have a couple of questions;

1: Does anyone know anywhere that I can post stuff that isn't overtly erotic and still get feedback. I'm kind of new at this.

2: Can anyone guess what videogame this fan-fic is from? (I'm trying to make it initially difficult to guess; and then easier as it moves on)

3:Any kind of feedback?

Chapter 1


There is a god.

That is important to note. There is a god, an original being, from which all others are derived.

And she is power incarnate.

I know this, because as a child, I looked into the eye of god-

And he blinked.

And when he did, the world opened up, and time itself shattered around me.

The mother of creation, Gaia. The father of time, Chronos.

I will learn your secrets- I will chase your mysteries through the depths of creation if I have to; and I will catch them all.

--From the sketchbook of Artist and Scientist, Professor Samuel Oak





The professor sat, his back arched over a microscope- looking at a slide containing a single hair. The specimen was projected on a screen in front of him, but he ignored it for now. Cages and aquariums lined the room- animals inside scurrying as he smiled. He replaced the slide with another labeled, “subject 001”. The effect was amazing; the RNA had already attached to the amphibian- the cells were mutating at an alarming rate. They seemed to be adapting to the other life in the terrarium. Already, the cells had developed chloroplast- despite the test subject being a frog, rather then a plant.

Amazing.

“Professor Oak?”

“In the lab. Be careful if you come in here. Don't upset the animals.” The scientist didn't look up.

“Professor, I've returned from Viridian with the supplies that you asked for. What should I do now?” A boy who could not have been out of his late teens/early 20s had entered.

“Back already? Tell me you didn't let your fucking cat in here!” The professor turned to see a Siamese cat jump at the cage containing the frog.

“Oh shit- I'm sorry!” the boy moved for the cat, grabbing gracefully, barely avoiding knocking over the terrarium, “Wow- Professor- look at this.”

“I know. It's absorbing sunlight, converting it to glucose, and feeding off of it.” The professor was still staring at the cells under his microscope, “I just solved world hunger. Get rid of the fucking cat.”

“I'm so sorry, sir!” The youth bowed before his mentor, puzzled by his apathy, “The UN loved the progress on our-” finally, the professor looked up, and the youth corrected, “your work! They just wanted to meet with you- wanted to know what you were talking about with bioweapons? I didn't know what to tell them, sir, I didn't know anything about bioweapons. The war is tearing through Kanto- the,”

“The war is as manufactured as anything else to come out of that continent,” Oak shrugged him off, “When I was young, we still called it 'America'- and a lot of us old goats still do. They'll never stay united, they don't have the soul for it. The only thing that brings those people together is a common enemy.”

“Meanwhile,” he continued, switching samples again, “These animals are progressing rapidly- they seem to evolve within a single generation, adapting quickly to their environment.” he looked up to see the youth staring at him with wonder, “Record this, Ashton!” he barked, “Write this down!”

“Oh, yes sir!” the boy nodded, and reached for a tablet.

“Subject 001-003; green environment; are exhibiting signs of merging with plant life. Subject has developed the ability to store solar energy and convert it to glucose or fructose, and then feed off that energy. Subject is still eating, so this is apparently, a back-up ATP supply.”

Ashton smiled, watching his hero on the recording.

“Subject 004-006; red environment; are displaying adaptive tendencies to withstand the heat. We have been steadily increasing the heat in the environment for the past few months, and the salamanders have withstood them all. They have began to glow red as their bodies adjust to the change, but have shown no signs of damage. They are eating normally.”

“Holy shit!” Ashton gasped as he followed his professor, “Are you seeing this?”

“mm?” the professor asked, arching an eyebrow but seeming uninterested.

Two of the salamanders were positioning for dominance atop a branch within the terrarium. One had reared back and was preparing to attack the other.

“Yes, they do that, Ash.” The professor rolled his eyes and continued, “Subjects 007-”

“No, look! They're doing it again!” The assistant was ecstatic. Inside the tank, the creature had reared back, but instead of attacking with it's claws, something extraordinary had happened. It had opened it's mouth, and spit a stream of fire, almost like magma, at the other lizard! Afterward, the flame shot through it's body, erupting through the tip of it's tail.

“Tell me you got that on film,” the professor smiled and pressed his hand to the glass.

“Yes, sir!” the assistant beamed, then added, “The tail is on fire! Should we put it out?”

“No. It may be an adaptation, like the plant life that seems to be growing on the back of the frogs.” He paused, “It doesn't seem to harm the animal. 12:03 pm- subject,” he squinted, trying to make out the tag, “004, burst into fucking flames,” he smiled at himself, “We'll edit that out later- burst into flames in what could only be called evidence of adaptation. The generic traits obtained can only be traced to our variable, the distilled RNA.”

The professor looked up, and made the signal to cut, so the youth turned off the camera on the tablet.

“Ashton, is it really 12:03 pm?”

“Yes, Sammy, it is.” Ash laughed.

“Heh- it's Sammy now?” The professor laughed.

“Could be fast-fingers,” the youth took his mentor's hand and playfully ran his fingers across, tapping on each one.

“Where did you hear that?” Oak laughed and took the tablet.

“From Professor Ivy- she was on the council today, serving for Kanto.” Ashton teased, “She said to say hi to 'Flying-Fingers Sammy'.”

“Did she?” the professor laughed and stopped before a mirror to run a hand through his hair. The brown was beginning to show streaks of gray- and had an annoying lean that no amount of combing would fix. It looked like he had slept on it horribly. He needed to shave. He sighed.

“You haven't been to bed from yesterday, have you?” Ashton asked him, suddenly concerned.

“Does Daisy remember I exist?” He wondered aloud, if quietly.

“What?” Ashton asked, putting a hand on his superior's shoulder.

“Was Aggie there?” Sam asked as he turned.

“No, none of the other SIPH members were there,” Ashton assured him, “I was the only one representing your company.”

“So you didn't see Daisy?” he asked.

“Why would I see her?” Ashton's concern was seeping into his voice.

“I just thought she might have a little interest in the company that she's going to inherit- even if her mother doesn't give a shit.” Sammy sighed, “I need to eat something. Preferably something that isn't laced with yellowjackets- it probably wouldn't hurt me to get some sleep. Can I trust you to go over the results for subjects 007-009?” The scientist put a hand against his forehead.

“Of course, Professor- after I get some food in you.”

“Right- college kid- your idea of food is?”

“I ordered Pizza.”

“Pizza,” Sammy sighed, “let me guess- and beer?”

“Brunch of champions,” Ashton replied, putting an arm around his superior's shoulders and leading him from the lab.

“At least tell me it's domestic and not that war-torn shit,” Sammy sighed.
 
Candi,

Anyone that needed to engage a ten-year-old boy in conversation between the years 1998 and 2003 recognizes the video game you're relying on the minute you invoke the "catch them all" meme. Referring to Professor Oak seals it.

There's a non-erotic story category here on Lit for material like this. I daresay it's the only appropriate one available because the Pokemon characters are underage for the usual shenanigans described around these parts.

Fair warning -- my understanding is that non-erotic doesn't get a lot of traffic so don't expect to be wowed with reads, votes, and comments. Frankly, people come here for the naughty stuff. If you want to feed them something else you kind of need to sneek it into some smut, the way you'd hide a dog's pills in his treats. :)
 
Candi,

Anyone that needed to engage a ten-year-old boy in conversation between the years 1998 and 2003 recognizes the video game you're relying on the minute you invoke the "catch them all" meme. Referring to Professor Oak seals it.

There's a non-erotic story category here on Lit for material like this. I daresay it's the only appropriate one available because the Pokemon characters are underage for the usual shenanigans described around these parts.

Fair warning -- my understanding is that non-erotic doesn't get a lot of traffic so don't expect to be wowed with reads, votes, and comments. Frankly, people come here for the naughty stuff. If you want to feed them something else you kind of need to sneek it into some smut, the way you'd hide a dog's pills in his treats. :)

Why does everyone keep thinking these characters are underage?

Ashton is Ash Ketchum's father who later changes his name to Giovanni- you're the second person to tell me that underage characters aren't allowed and I can only assume that they're thinking Ashton is Ash (the little boy from the show) whereas this is all actually from the games/comics. Even in the show, he's never shown as a child, from what I understand. He doesn't change his name until after the death of his mother when he assumes control of Rocketto-Dan.

Oak would be in his late 40s, early 50s here, and Ashton would be a graduate student- early 20s. I really would like to know where everyone keeps getting the underage thing... What am I doing to make it seem child-like? Is it 4-kids editing that's reflecting back on me? Because everyone thinks Pokemon and thinks, "little kids" by default?

I thought it would be kind of cute to write about, trip down memory lane and all that- and all anyone has said so far is, "UNDERAGE" despite there being no one underage in the story...
 
yes, as paco said, the non erotic category is open to you. and if the action is NOT sexual, the question of age will become irrelevant.

pure,
moderator
 
Why does everyone keep thinking these characters are underage?

Ashton is Ash Ketchum's father who later changes his name to Giovanni- you're the second person to tell me that underage characters aren't allowed and I can only assume that they're thinking Ashton is Ash (the little boy from the show) whereas this is all actually from the games/comics. Even in the show, he's never shown as a child, from what I understand. He doesn't change his name until after the death of his mother when he assumes control of Rocketto-Dan.

Oak would be in his late 40s, early 50s here, and Ashton would be a graduate student- early 20s. I really would like to know where everyone keeps getting the underage thing... What am I doing to make it seem child-like? Is it 4-kids editing that's reflecting back on me? Because everyone thinks Pokemon and thinks, "little kids" by default?

I thought it would be kind of cute to write about, trip down memory lane and all that- and all anyone has said so far is, "UNDERAGE" despite there being no one underage in the story...

Huh, learn something new everyday.

Lit is HIGHLY sensitive to authors looking to sidestep its minimum age requirements. I sympathize with your frustration. I was a fan of the original TMNT comic books, and even as a young lad I was peeved at what American cartoon TV did to ruin that franchise. Ditto the Dark Knight.

Pokemon was highjacked by youth culture. Not enough folks are going to know that you're referring to adult AshTON rather than his ten-year-old son. You might want to consider using a different name entirely.

Here's your free-of-charge reality check: from a big picture, I have to question the wisdom of writing in this genre and posting it to Literotica. There have got to be better forums for this material if you actually want folks to read and appreciate it. You might try plugging "Pokemon fanfic" into Google and see what comes up.

G'luck,

PacoFear
 
Huh, learn something new everyday.

Lit is HIGHLY sensitive to authors looking to sidestep its minimum age requirements. I sympathize with your frustration. I was a fan of the original TMNT comic books, and even as a young lad I was peeved at what American cartoon TV did to ruin that franchise. Ditto the Dark Knight.

Pokemon was highjacked by youth culture. Not enough folks are going to know that you're referring to adult AshTON rather than his ten-year-old son. You might want to consider using a different name entirely.

Here's your free-of-charge reality check: from a big picture, I have to question the wisdom of writing in this genre and posting it to Literotica. There have got to be better forums for this material if you actually want folks to read and appreciate it. You might try plugging "Pokemon fanfic" into Google and see what comes up.

G'luck,

PacoFear


Yeah- that's actually what I was asking in my first post- other places I could post because I didn't think that Lit was a good fit. I opened an account at FanFiction.net- they're making me wait three days, but I'm gonna try there. :D


To the TMNT guy- I know right. I fucking love TMNT- Raphiel is my hero. And I even went back and watched the old cartoon (not the one TMNT that I grew up with, the one with their initials on their belts). That was... interesting...

Have you seen the one where all the turtles from the different universes get together? It's actually really awesome! You keep expecting it to be lame, and it never is.
 
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