Grumpy, boring old codger seeks exciting young sex kitten!

The Heretic

Literotica Guru
Joined
Oct 26, 2002
Posts
28,592
Hey, nobody ever answers these ads anyway, and if they did they would soon learn what I am like anyway, so what's the harm in being honest - right? http://mywebpages.comcast.net/the.heretic/images/smilies/ne_nau.gif

If you want to get to know me, I post a lot on the General Board and you can find out about who I am, my personality and philosophy of life there - or you can just ask me.

A couple of things though:

1) I am looking for a relationship with someone relatively close, i.e., west of the Rockies in the USA.

2) We should be reasonably close in our life outlook; someone who is 180 degrees out of synch with my views would be nice as a friend, but not as a lover.

3) I am a balding old codger that is not likely to change too much. I am not ugly, but I am not handsome either. I sit too much behind a desk so I am a bit out of shape, but I am not overweight (hard to be overweight when you are as tall as I am). I will understand if you don't find me attractive.

At the same time I expect you to be mature enough to understand if I don't find you attractive. I do have a spectrum of what I find attractive in women, so I may or may not find you attractive. If I was looking for just companionship and a friend, I would get a dog.
 
The Heretic is a Liar

in fact he's a nice and cool guy

Trust me on this.

Oh, and I'm old and grumpy too.

Just in case ...
 
The Heretic said:
Hey, nobody ever answers these ads anyway, and if they did they would soon learn what I am like anyway, so what's the harm in being honest - right? http://mywebpages.comcast.net/the.heretic/images/smilies/ne_nau.gif

If you want to get to know me, I post a lot on the General Board and you can find out about who I am, my personality and philosophy of life there - or you can just ask me.

A couple of things though:

1) I am looking for a relationship with someone relatively close, i.e., west of the Rockies in the USA.

2) We should be reasonably close in our life outlook; someone who is 180 degrees out of synch with my views would be nice as a friend, but not as a lover.

3) I am a balding old codger that is not likely to change too much. I am not ugly, but I am not handsome either. I sit too much behind a desk so I am a bit out of shape, but I am not overweight (hard to be overweight when you are as tall as I am). I will understand if you don't find me attractive.

At the same time I expect you to be mature enough to understand if I don't find you attractive. I do have a spectrum of what I find attractive in women, so I may or may not find you attractive. If I was looking for just companionship and a friend, I would get a dog.

Oh Mr. Heretic,
Your ad is so alluring. It just makes my pussy drip with anticipation of hot, horny communications with a grumpy old codger like you. Why, I'm certain your codgerly, old cock is hard and throbbing with dropplets of pre-cum standing on the head.

My pussy is pulsing, waiting for your codgerly old tongue to lick the nector from between my cunt lips while I grind my pussy into your face.

You are so hot. You have me totally beside myself with four fingers buried deep inside me.
 
Oh, and I should say that if you don't like, or rather won't tolerate, any of the following, don't bother replying:

Fast motorcycles, firearms, The Simpsons, Futurama, Duckman, Dilbert, King of the Hill, Thai food.
 
Re: Re: Grumpy, boring old codger seeks exciting young sex kitten!

Jenny _S said:
Oh Mr. Heretic,
Your ad is so alluring. It just makes my pussy drip with anticipation of hot, horny communications with a grumpy old codger like you. Why, I'm certain your codgerly, old cock is hard and throbbing with dropplets of pre-cum standing on the head.

My pussy is pulsing, waiting for your codgerly old tongue to lick the nector from between my cunt lips while I grind my pussy into your face.

You are so hot. You have me totally beside myself with four fingers buried deep inside me.
Hi Jenny. Nice to see you over here. I've noticed you on the GB but I was too shy to PM. :eek:
 
Re: Re: Re: Grumpy, boring old codger seeks exciting young sex kitten!

The Heretic said:
Hi Jenny. Nice to see you over here. I've noticed you on the GB but I was too shy to PM. :eek:

Hiya Heretic...
Never be afraid of me ;)
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Grumpy, boring old codger seeks exciting young sex kitten!

Jenny _S said:
Hiya Heretic...
Never be afraid of me ;)
Shuffles feet - aww shucks Maam... :eek:
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Grumpy, boring old codger seeks exciting young sex kitten!

The Heretic said:
Shuffles feet - aww shucks Maam... :eek:

LMAO... I write humor and comedy, Heretic. I can't be all that good. :D
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Grumpy, boring old codger seeks exciting young sex kitten!

Jenny _S said:
Hahaha... I suppose.

And just think. You have something good to post in your thread on the GB now too. :p
Maybe; are you a sex kitten??
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Grumpy, boring old codger seeks exciting young sex kitten!

The Heretic said:
Maybe; are you a sex kitten??
Oh, and what's your stand on the WTO, NAFTA, the Balkans and farm subsidies?? :confused:

;)
 
Hi,
I just noticed this and while I don't meet your criteria, I enjoy reading your posts on the GB. I tend to lurk there when noone is watching.
Good luck.
 
Vinde said:
Hi,
I just noticed this and while I don't meet your criteria, I enjoy reading your posts on the GB.
Then you must be a masochist. ;)

Thanks. :)
 
I am so distraught! Mr. Heretic hasn't PM'd yet. And me sitting here with my pussy dripping wet craving Hot Cranky Old Codger Cock too :(

Hi Vinde :kiss:
 
Jenny _S said:
I am so distraught! Mr. Heretic hasn't PM'd yet. And me sitting here with my pussy dripping wet craving Hot Cranky Old Codger Cock too :(

Hi Vinde :kiss:
But you didn't ask me to PM you! I'm a guy - you've gotta beat me over the head. :eek:

PM coming your way, but you didn't answer my question about the WTO, NAFTA, the Balkans and farm subsidies?? :D
 
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