I have a growing desire and almost frustration to become and develop my more dominating side sexually. I however i am shy as i fear i cannot yet understand how i could sexually dominant someone in the role of such as master and remain a true gentlemen! I am finding it hard to really let lose in my own head being truly dominant. Basically learning to be true to my opressed sexual dominating desires while staying the gentleman I always wish to remain. Any advice?
Growing desire...
- Thread starter Jake19
- Start date
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2005
- Posts
- 13,063
Being a gentleman takes skill , self control , knowledge, patience , code of conduct, manners suitable to the current environment ?
I don't personally see any of the above as a hinderence to Dominance.
I don't personally see any of the above as a hinderence to Dominance.
satin_coals
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2006
- Posts
- 162
research research research!
read as much as you can on the topic! hopefully that will help you to overcome your shyness. your shyness simply means inexperience. read some stories from the BDSM section, as alot of these are actually written from a true Master or Submissive point of veiw, and real life happenings.
after you have done all this, you may realise that it is not exactly for you. You must also remember that some d/s relationships are 24/7, where as some are simply in the bedroom. There are so many variations! I don't think any d/s relationship are exactly the same. They all have their own limitations, boundries, punishments, etc. Masters can control everything in a submissives life. Think it through .. and ask yourself if it's for you?
My Master, though He controls quite a bit in my life, is always a gentleman about it. Though i must admit, i have come across my fair share of cruel Masters too. Cruelty does not do it for me .. SUBMITTING does it for me
Knowing that I serve Him, and do anything He may ask of me, keeps me very sexually heightened. There are ways to be dominating without being a bastard about it, lol.
Hope this helps a little
~~~FallyN~~~
read as much as you can on the topic! hopefully that will help you to overcome your shyness. your shyness simply means inexperience. read some stories from the BDSM section, as alot of these are actually written from a true Master or Submissive point of veiw, and real life happenings.
after you have done all this, you may realise that it is not exactly for you. You must also remember that some d/s relationships are 24/7, where as some are simply in the bedroom. There are so many variations! I don't think any d/s relationship are exactly the same. They all have their own limitations, boundries, punishments, etc. Masters can control everything in a submissives life. Think it through .. and ask yourself if it's for you?
My Master, though He controls quite a bit in my life, is always a gentleman about it. Though i must admit, i have come across my fair share of cruel Masters too. Cruelty does not do it for me .. SUBMITTING does it for me
Knowing that I serve Him, and do anything He may ask of me, keeps me very sexually heightened. There are ways to be dominating without being a bastard about it, lol. Hope this helps a little
~~~FallyN~~~
satin_coals said:research research research!
read as much as you can on the topic! hopefully that will help you to overcome your shyness. your shyness simply means inexperience. read some stories from the BDSM section, as alot of these are actually written from a true Master or Submissive point of veiw, and real life happenings.
after you have done all this, you may realise that it is not exactly for you. You must also remember that some d/s relationships are 24/7, where as some are simply in the bedroom. There are so many variations! I don't think any d/s relationship are exactly the same. They all have their own limitations, boundries, punishments, etc. Masters can control everything in a submissives life. Think it through .. and ask yourself if it's for you?
My Master, though He controls quite a bit in my life, is always a gentleman about it. Though i must admit, i have come across my fair share of cruel Masters too. Cruelty does not do it for me .. SUBMITTING does it for me
Hope this helps a little
~~~FallyN~~~
Wow thankyou for such a spledid answer! I am not into the idea of being cruel either. The joy for me would certainly be in knowing that other person is enjoying it completly. Love the thought of being able to domiante someone and yet be in control and take all responsibility away from them as i lead and push all there boundries leading to pure eurphoria ( or something along those lines). Will take your advice many thanks once again xxx
DVS
A ghost from your dreams
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2002
- Posts
- 11,416
A good Dom is always patient. LOL.Jake19 said:
First, you can only dominate someone who is willing to be dominated. If you have someone who feels they are submissive, that's the first step. But, if you don't know if she's submissive, you need to find this out, before you go too far. Dominating someone who isn't enjoying it is abuse.
The key is to find someone who likes what you like. Being a gentleman in a BDSM way is a little different. Of course, you don't want to be selfish or do anything that your submissive doesn't enjoy, but sometimes being a little rough is what's desired.
Knowing how rough you can be is important. Each of you will have limits that you don't want to go beyond and sticking to those limits are also important. You both must be open and willing to express what you enjoy.
Explore together, finding out what works for both of you. Be willing to experiment. And, if you want to try something, talk it over with your partner, first. It takes a little time, but eventually, you will know what does it for both of you. Then, take what both of you enjoy and put it all together. That's the fun part.
Being a gentleman in a BDSM relationship is exploring what your partner enjoys and being able to give it to her. In turn, she will enjoy returning the favor.
Last edited:
I will learn ...
I am in eager search of a partner that i feel safe in being so open and honest about such desires and finding someone that naturally enjoys being submissive. I have been dominated more than a few times and am realising now how usefull my experiences of being submissive will come in respecting a future partner.
DVS said:
I am in eager search of a partner that i feel safe in being so open and honest about such desires and finding someone that naturally enjoys being submissive. I have been dominated more than a few times and am realising now how usefull my experiences of being submissive will come in respecting a future partner.
DVS
A ghost from your dreams
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2002
- Posts
- 11,416
Sounds like a plan. And yes, a past experience as a submissive should give you valuble insight. But, you didn't mention this, in the beginning. Are you maybe a switch? If you enjoy being both Dom and submissive, you might need to look for a partner that's also a switch.Jake19 said:
And, you might also have a stronger desire to be dominant or submissive. You need to explore and then decide these things before you get to far involved with someone. Or, at least understand from the beginning that you might enjoy both or one way over the other. That will be a definant factor in the role of the partner you ultimately desire.
satin_coals
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2006
- Posts
- 162
Jake19 said:
no worries. if you have any other questions, then always feel free to PM me and ask as well as posting here
FallyN
satin_coals
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2006
- Posts
- 162
that would be good
FallyN
FallyN
