*grin* A 'new' Dominant asked me for help today

[Ms_Lilith]

He's a new person here at Lit, and we were having a generally open conversation, and he told me he's in a relationship where the woman is a submissive, and would like to incorporate that into their play. He asked about what he should know, when embarking on the Dominant road.


I gave him my opinion on the matter, but

What would you have told him?

Are there any techniques you would have passed on?



I'm curious. I'm a sub, I didn't quite know what to say, once I got the basic points out.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Wow, thank you all for your input.

 

[WriterDom]

There is a wealth of information on the internet, and reading a few books would be helpful. Since he already has a submissive, I guess the only question is how comfortable is he in that role?

Invite him to come here if he has specific questions. Also, depending on where he lives, if he is close to a bdsm group, most have demo's every month on a different topic.

 

[Croctden]

There's no book of domination

You make your own style. As long as he knows about safety he should just experiment. Or so say I

 

[FungiUg]

Other people have already suggested he do his own reseach. But...

Make it fun. Make it sexy. Don't be hesitant, but expect what you want! At the same time, ensure you are meeting her needs and desires. (So communication still required.) Don't treat her like a mindless slave... treat her like a mindful submissive. And did I mention have fun?

I think every dominant person develops their own style, so in reality, it's about doing what you want to, and accepting that as a dominant, you are responsible, and you enjoy the control.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Thank you all.. I will pass this thread on to him.

 

[Arden]

I have no techniques to offer, but I would suggest he find a copy of a book called "The Loving Dominant". It's older, and may no longer be in print, but he might be able to find a copy on e-Bay -- or in a used bookstore (online).

 

[Daddyslilpet]

If I'm not mistaken I think Books-A-Million sells "The Loving Dominant" Or maybe it was on Amazon that I found that one. I know I've seen it out there on the net somewhere. From what I hear it is a very good book for the new dominant as well as the not so new one.

As others have said there is a lot of info to be had out there on the net. A couple of really good sites are castlerealm.com and soulshaven.com

dixi

 

[Singularity]

A Simple Answer...

and a bit of self-promotion.

Have him read the Michelle stories. Master Damien is an excellent teacher....