graceanne - especially for you

[catalina_francisco]

First I would like to say welcome home. Admittedly I do not know you beyond your posts on the forum through which you give us all a little glimpse of you and your life. I have come to admire not only your caring about others, but your incredible strength in dealing with the battles with your body....it seems no matter how tough the going gets, you manage to keep smiling through most of it and still have time to send a caring message to others in pain, and share a joke with fellow posters. Your family are truly blessed to have you.

Knowing how valueable it was to have place where I could read the positive and caring messages of fellow Litsters when I was going through my own hell this year and needing a little boost some days more than others, I thought you too might find value in having such a place where people could post their positive thoughts and wishes for you, or just to say hello. I am hoping this will not offend or embarass you as it is not my intention.

I would like to start by saying thanks for being part of this community and trusting us enough to allow us inside your world, for giving of yourself, your sensitivity and listening to others with an open heart. I hope there is some progress in your health soon which will allow you to relax and smell the roses along the road of life.

Catalina

 

[Nackereia]

Yey graceanne!! [[throws confetti and eats cake]]

 

[Bandit58]

*Sending graceanne a gentle hug and a *

 

[graceanne]

Wow.

Thank you so much, that you would write this just for me. You have no idea how much it means to me that you all care about how I am, and how I'm feeling. And yes, it is nice to Lit to come to. It's a safe place for me, and that's important. I won't go places where I don't feel safe.

To tell the truth, I figure that when I let all this take my sense of humor and I stop smiling that it wins, and I refuse. I will not be defined by my health. I am more than a health statistic, I am more than my illnesses. When it wins, I might as well just give up and die. I refuse.

Thanks all for the prayers and good vibrations and thoughts. Thanks for the support, and for distracting me when I'm depressed. *hugs*

I GOT MY OWN THREAD!

 

[Bandit58]

Hi graceanne, hope you're feeling a little better As you probably know my Master has chronic illness too, and He says that Lit is one place he can come to and be "normal" - no one has to know He is ill unless He tells them. You remind me of Him with that strength of will, not to let the illness win and to fight to be as "normal" as possible

On a little side note, Master has your sig line on a T-shirt (I suspect He is going to make me wear it one day )

 

[Caitlynne]

You know Catalina really has put it so well. I read your posts all the time. You are one of the people I make a point to read. I was concerned about your health difficulties and so admired your attitude and courage.

Please know I think of you and will continue to keep a good thought for you. AND that I hope the pain of your struggle eases in the days, weeks and months to come.

~ cait

 

[snowy ciara]

I'm so glad you're home! Now get better or I'll put you on my fruitcake for Christmas list!

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[graceanne]

I'm so glad you're home! Now get better or I'll put you on my fruitcake for Christmas list!

Would I get eaten?

 

[graceanne]

*big hugs for everyone* I just feel so . . . wanted and loved by this forum. (Of course I'm high, too - lovely morphine.) Like the fat unpopular girl invited to the party. *hugs self* I don't know how to explain it. It's just a happy cozy feeling. It's all I can do to keep from giggling.

 

[Kajira Callista]

ok... just send the kids, we will prepare everything for the holidays while you are recouperating then send for you.

 

[graceanne]

How sweet. I'll keep it in mind. Actually for Christmas we're having a very low key holiday. Just us and the kids. No family, no fuss. My mom is going to send some of her dinner over for us to heat up, and I'll put out candles or something, and we're just gonna relax. Thank God.

 

[witcha]

Sounds nice graceanne and hope you're feeling better..Hate being ill and taking all those pills,injections and what not..but I think you got my drift

So hugs and get better with each day




witcha

 

[graceanne]

You know, this thread is so great. When I'm depressed and the only person awake, I go here real quick and look at all the nice things people said, and it just lifts my spirits. *hugs self*

 

[witcha]

You know what? You should also print all the responses and keep them near you..in case you can't get to your PC or sth is wrong with your internet connection..just a suggestion and a bunch of warm hugs


witcha

 

[catalina_francisco]

You know, this thread is so great. When I'm depressed and the only person awake, I go here real quick and look at all the nice things people said, and it just lifts my spirits. *hugs self*

I'm glad it helps.

Catalina

 

[graceanne]

I'm glad it helps.

Catalina

*big hug for catalina*

 

[da grunt]

graceanne

Your mailbox is full

 

[graceanne]

Re: graceanne

Your mailbox is full

sorry, it's empty now.

 

[da grunt]

Re: Re: graceanne

sorry, it's empty now.

Filled up again

 

[graceanne]

Re: Re: Re: graceanne

Filled up again

you know, there's soemthing wrong with it then, since it's completely empty. Last time it was full there was only 4 messages in it. I'll go make sure, but . . . ARG!

 

[graceanne]

Sorry, it's empty. Email me at graceanne26@hotmail.com.

 

[graceanne]

*blushes* Ok, so I'm dumb, but I didnt realize that lit saves everything I send to others, so I hadn't deleted that area. I can now accept pm's. Sorry.

 

[graceanne]

Well, I had my small bowel follow through today. That, for those who won't know is where they have me drink something called barium. Barium is completely indigestible, but it also shows up on xrays. Then they x ray it as it goes through your body. My drs wanted to be sure that my crohns disease hasn't moved from my large intestine (my colon) to my small intestine. Just fyi, it's very rare for crohns disease to be in only the colon, like with me.

The good news is that it is not in my small intestine at this point. It is in my ileum, which is new. (The ileum is the part of the intestine that attaches the large and small intestine.) But it's very small, and not really causing problems. The radiology dr said it's even possible it's a result of acid reflux from my colon, and it might heal up when my colon heals. Of course I'll be asking my GI to be sure, cause she's the expert. But I can hope.

The bad news is that even with the amount of barium, and all the laxatives they gave me yesterday I am not pooping as much as I should be. (Only a little yesterday - none today or the day before.) This pretty much means that I am probably developing an obstruction, and will need surgery. If this is true, the surgery will only be on a small portion of my colon, just to remove the part that isn't healing right. We knew that there was a chance this could happen. Please pray/send good vibrations (giggles) that I start going, because I really really REALLY don't want to go back in the hospital. I don't think I can stress how much I want to stay home. I especially don't want to spend christmas there. And quite frankly, I don't want to have surgery. *sigh* Also, quite frankly, the barium is hurting me. I want it out!

So that's what's going on. I'll keep you all posted as I learn more. I will be calling the doctor today to let her know about the lack of bm's, and to find out what she says about the whole ileum thing. I am not going to be surprised if I post from the hospital this evening. That's another thing you can pray/vibrations/etc about. I'm feeling really down and depressed about all this. I am desperately trying to be a good sport and all that about this, but . . . well it's 6 am, i'm waiting for my pain meds to kick in, and I'm just freaken tired. It's sometimes hard to be good natured about all this. I am so fucking sick of being sick.

 

[witcha]

I REALLY hope everything will be just fine and that you won't have to go back to hospital and that you'll be given the opportunity to spend Christmas at home with your hubby..


I send all my good vibrations along with virtual cherries in chocolate and extra soft cuddless






witcha