Goodbye Scumbags

[Dick Nixon]

You won't have me to kick around any more. Happy?

 

[Guest]

Nor me either

You're all a bunch of nattering nabobs of negativism. A pusillanimous pack of pricks. C'mon Dick, let's go!

 

[shadowsource]

Mr. President?

Are you telling that other Dick what to tell Young Bushie to do? Is that your game? Are we all on a list? Did you really tell the south Vietnamese not to negotiate peace in 1968 so you could narrowly defeat Hubert Humphrey with your "peace" plan? Won't you miss WriterDom, MarkovCain and your other pals here? Don't you find Todd a little weird for a Canadian?

 

[Mustang Sally]

Oh, for fuck's sake.
Get OVER it.

 

[Dick Nixon]

Spiro, you old shit

What're you doing on a sex site? They let prisoners in this place? Found any cute boys in there? It's all your fault, you and that Jew Safire. And that Kissinger. And the GD Canadians with those fuckin pot smokin draft dodgers. Mustang Sally my ass. The Rascals sucked. You all suck. My world. Mine.

 

[Guest]

That really hurt

Mr. President, I keep tellling you it wasn't my fault. It was that mendacious media mob out for blood like the journalistic jackals and jackanapes we know them to be.

I'm sorry I can't sit down Mr. President because being inside one learns to take it like a man but the result is a lot of discomfort.

I agree about those Canadians, sir. A cantankerous colllection of commie cocksuckers!

 

[*Lazer*]

Yeah, well Martha Mitchell said you both had little weenies.

 

[Guest]

Yeah, well Martha Mitchell said you both had little weenies.

That was for lunch, you lying literotica lout!

 

[Oliver Clozoff]

I'm not sure what relevance this has, but...

you can rearrange the letters in "Spiro Agnew" to form the words "grow a penis".

I really try to work that tidbit into as many conversations as I can. Thanks for giving me an opportunity, Spiro and Dick.

 

[Guest]

Re: I'm not sure what relevance this has, but...

you can rearrange the letters in "Spiro Agnew" to form the words "grow a penis".

I really try to work that tidbit into as many conversations as I can. Thanks for giving me an opportunity, Spiro and Dick.

You addlepated anagram analyst, you!

 

[Dick Nixon]

Spiro

Sentimental submissive sentinel of slime!

 

[Guest]

Re: Spiro

Sentimental submissive sentinel of slime!

I just knew you'd come around, you smooth-talking devil.

 

[Dick Nixon]

well gee whiz

Aw Spiro, ya know I can't resist that kinda talk, ya gargantuan goon. Whaddya think of this new crew dragging Rumsford back out of the boardroom for another round of wascally warmongering?

 

[Guest]

I have this to say about that, take the time to turn off the tape! Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

 

[Dick Nixon]

You can say that again!

Someone taught PCs dog to sit on his face

 

[Guest]

Re: You can say that again!

Someone taught PCs dog to sit on his face

I've heard of being joined at the hip, but that is ridiculous. A canine corporeal connection?

 

[WriterDom]

Re: Mr. President?

so you could narrowly defeat Hubert Humphrey with your "peace" plan? Won't you miss WriterDom, MarkovCain and your other pals here? Don't you find Todd a little weird for a Canadian?

narrowly? Humphrey carried how many states in 68? 10? 11? I think you did too many drugs in the 50s

 

[shadowsource]

Re: Re: Mr. President?

narrowly? Humphrey carried how many states in 68? 10? 11? I think you did too many drugs in the 50s

Nixon won by fewer than a million votes in a very close election. I regard Clinton's win over Bush as reasonably close, though the state count was wide. You should at least know that the state counts are misleading. Reagan didn't win 98% of the vote in '84. That's the joke about the "red" states - they're mostly fucking empty!

And whazzat about drugs in the 50s? I must've missed something.

 

[WriterDom]

Re: Re: Re: Mr. President?

Nixon won by fewer than a million votes in a very close election.

Nixon won 301 to 191. The popular vote doesn't count for shit. Either call yourself a democrat or a greenie. You are too ignorant to be a libertarian.

 

[shadowsource]

You're really starting to sound...

like a fucking idiot. Close is close. As a Mets fan, I can distinguish between the claim that the Mets nearly tied the Yankees in runs in last year's World Series from the fact that the bastards whupped our asses day in and day out, though the scores were close. But any election in which a small number of votes (soccer Moms with hangovers) could have turned 10 states over is a very close election. Are you incapable of reasoning?

 

[WriterDom]

Re: You're really starting to sound...

like a fucking idiot. Close is close. As a Mets fan, I can distinguish between the claim that the Mets nearly tied the Yankees in runs in last year's World Series from the fact that the bastards whupped our asses day in and day out, though the scores were close. But any election in which a small number of votes (soccer Moms with hangovers) could have turned 10 states over is a very close election. Are you incapable of reasoning?

The only reason it seemed close was the fact that Wallace got almost 15% of the vote. Wallace even carried most of the south. And he took a half million votes away from Nixon in Tx giving the state to Humphrey. If you are suggesting that a Wallace voter would vote for Humphrey over Nixon in a two man race then perhaps you should stick to baseball. Look at 72 when Nixon carried every southern state by almost 80%.

The score was 301 to 191. Without Wallace in the race it would have been much worse.

 

[beckbabe]

I'll take the Agnew method please. According to my calculations....63...72.....95....27.....you owe me 60 days.



deep apologies to Robert Klein

 

[shadowsource]

Density beyond compare?

Nixon won 301 to 191. The popular vote doesn't count for shit.

I guess you're right. The fact that Nixon beat Humphrey by only 7/10ths of 1%, or 510,000 votes, is immaterial. And Nixon got swamped in 1960 (.17% of the vote) because JFK took 303 electoral votes to Nixon's 219. Wow, Republican stats are so much fun!

Re your Wallace thing - that was the first election (except for 4 states in Goldwater-LBJ) in which white southerners voted Republican. Many of them might well have voted for Humphrey in lieu of Wallace, mainly out of inertia, of course. That's where Nixon and Mitchell got their "Southern Strategy" inspiration, which paid off so well in '72. But it's probably pointless to argue about details with you, isn't it? Say it ain't so.

 

[WriterDom]

Re: Density beyond compare?

But it's probably pointless to argue about details with you, isn't it? Say it ain't so.

I'm not sure about the southern thing in 64. It would have been interesting without G. W. in the race.

But I do see the light now, Supersource. A few more votes for Nixon in Missouri, Illinois, and New Jersey and he would have won in 60. And Illinois was probably stolen.

 

[shadowsource]

That's the spirit!

I'm not sure about the southern thing in 64. It would have been interesting without G. W. in the race.

But I do see the light now, Supersource. A few more votes for Nixon in Missouri, Illinois, and New Jersey and he would have won in 60. And Illinois was probably stolen.

I can't argue with any of that, though it's often said that the GOP in Southern Illinois stole so many votes that Daley's machine pull was canceled out. That's said to be why no recount was demanded there.