Good girls vs. Bad girls

[NCShin]

The difference between these two types of people has been on my mind lately.

I guess questions with a big brush first.

What is the difference in your eyes?

Which do you prefer?

Is there REALLY any difference?

OK, I wonder this because my submissive is a total good girl. If asked she'll always say she was good, never admit to being bad. Where as some others that I see posting or read about will say they were bad even if they were not. Maybe even making something up if they need to.

I'm curious about the psychology behind each type. I'd have to think that both are slightly leaning toward a form of age play, just saying that they're a good or bad girl...

I also think that there are a few reasons one might feel they are a bad girl.

One reason might be masochistic desires, and wanting to be punished just for the pain. I also think another reason might be social or religious where they really do feel that thinking about or acting out on sexual desires really is bad.

The good girl on the other hand, I think might be more into the submission side rather than the masochist side.

At the same time, some of the same things might be at play. Not admitting to "bad" thoughts/actions due to social or religious beliefs that she shouldn't be having those thoughts, or she actually does suppress them.

Or she might not see them as bad, and just go with that, being encouraged on that belief when she is told "to be a good girl and do [this]"

hope this makes some sense....just curious on your opinions...

 

[TaintedB]

I think The Knack said it best.

 

[robynwildchild]

i can't say which i would prefer.. i think everyone would lean towards being the good girl and getting rewarded.. its a social theory proven.. or i'm thinking bout pavlov's dog..

but along with that social proclivity comes the alternative emotion.. the opposite inhibitor that reacts to the restraint of having to be good. THE ANTAGONIST, finding pleasure in betrayin what they set down as rules and laws on how to behave. contricting ones free nature to do as one pleases.. maybe that is what makes a bad girl. the independant spirit to do as she pleases..

its all bout how its interpreted by the girl and what history she has gone through to provoke whether or not she will be a good or bad girl.

me i lean on both sides from one extreme to the other. when i'm sick of bein a good girl my mood swings and i become the bad girl. when i sick of bein the bad girl i am sweet as pie... its a cycle of change.. can't always be just one..

 

[Booty Bandit]

Its been my experiance that the so called good girls are the wildest in bed

 

[Mr Blonde]

I don't have some expansive checklist of what a submissive must be willing to do, but submissives who seem a little more reticent or conservative on the surface are usually ready to have honest interactions once we get down to sincere discussions. They have put more energy into self-introspection compared to the so-called bad girls who are usually exhibitionists hiding behind a carefully crafted personna.

Keep in mind I am a service-seeking dominant. I tried dating a few of the so-called bad girls and was unimpressed. Probably some of these "bad girls" feel more comfortable with a "service-providing top" who will do exactly what they request be done to them.

No, fuck me up the ass...that's it, now hold the knife closer to my throat...no, do it harder...okay, now cum inside me!

 

[blue kat]

Good masochistic girls do it for me. I don't think masochism is linked to good or badness. It just is.

Bad girls piss me off in a non sexy way. I will never ever beat a SAM. I ignore them. I don't reward bad behavior. A good pyl who doesn't get all sammy at me and asks to be beaten gives my nice sadistic warm fuzzies and I'm always happy to comply.

Some PYL's do get off on the power struggle; and I sort of understand that. I've done scenes that were not really roleplay, but I've told the partner to fight back. Make me work for it. That undercurrent of non-consent, of some sort of struggle is very arousing. My twisted side also likes the anxiety a good girl gets when she's trying to reconcile her desires with the angel on her shoulder. It's so good to watch the emotions in her eyes, on her face, when her libido is arguing with her "good girls don't" voice. Also, bad girls usually aren't afraid enough for me. A bad girl will say inside "Hurt me, I want it, I deserve it." and dare me to push her limits. A good girl will think "Hurt me, I want hit, it scares the snot out of me." and wonder if I'm going to push it. (Usually, that's a yes, too.)

I wonder though, for those of us that switched. I started out as a submissive type bottom, and I distinctly remember not be sammy, per se, but definitely being a bad girl! Yet I prefer my subs to be "good". I wonder how many switches, either active, or post switch prefer the opposite of their subbie style? How many of us prefer the same? And the same question for those that started on top. Are the type of pyl that you as a PYL preferred? Or are you the opposite?

 

[corkie2]

When I read the topic of this thread my first thought is that I see myself as being very very good at being bad and when I am bad I am at my best. (EG)

BUT, after reading the initial post with its questiong and then the responses I started to reflect on the different kinds of person I am that make me the submissive I am......(the parts of my whole personality). What I find is that I range from the innocent "good" girl that wants very much to be brave enough to push those boundries but needs to be pushed......and allowed to even fight to be forced to go past those soft limits. I need to at times be given permission to say no knowing that my Sir knows I want to be made to. Make me cry........force me to surrender. But treat me as a sweet prize that you love and cherish........not harsh and abusive. When I feel like this being used is more like making love not raw lust............I don't want to be beaten.......more like spanked, paddled and flogged but not really hard........I will surrender before you get to really making it hurt. I am not really in pain slut mode.

Then there is the little bitch whore that is an personally acknowledged slut and damn proud of it. *VEG* When I am in this mind set I will ask......beg if I have to to be used as such. However, in this mode I want to be forced but the fight will be stronger in me.......I want it rougher but I will also act like a little bitch not caring what it costs me. Here I AM in PAIN SLUT mode. I WANT to be treated like a little 3 hole whore when I am like that. This is a place I can only go with someone I really trust and am comfortable enough with to know that I am counting on him to not lose control of either of us. I don't REALLY want to be truely hurt....bruised and sore the next day, yes I expect that. But not really hurt......no blood or deep tissue damage please.

So, I guess I am both a bad and good girl but I really do try to be the best I can when in either. But my regular every day girl the vanilla world sees is a really lady like pretty good but with a bit of an impish streak girl! hehehe!

mischeivous greetings!
Corkie