Going Down for the Holidays - It's Not What You Think

[Vincent E]

The holiday season - scratch that, I'm not politically correct - The Christmas Season often brings feelings of depression and even dispair to many people. I would like to know what are some of the common issues that somtimes get people down for the holidays. I'm my own case it revolves around recent deaths in the family, though my spirits seem to be high enough.

What is it that lowers people's emotional output level in the period betwwen Thanksgiving and New year's Day? Loniliness? Loss? Financial harship? How much are normal daily problems magnified at this time of year.

I'm not trying to tap into the ADD thread that sweetnpetite started since that is a long term condition. I'm talking about issues that get people down emotionally when everyone around them is in a festive mood.

I've been working on a story that is a bit of a holiday downer, and I'm exploring the problems that the central character and an ancillary character have around the Christmas - and that's Christmas, not holiday - season. Seriously, I'm staring to get pissed at all this, "Season's Greetings" bullshit.

 

[Guest]

Vincenzo, yours is a thoughtful query, and I agree that it can be set apart from the other "down" thread. I also appreciate your emphasis on Christmas. I work at a Catholic university so I have no pc issues to deal with though I do know who is Jewish and am happy to say Happy Channukah (ha, not sure of sp.)

People are fond of saying that Christmas is for the children, and there lies the rub I think. Even kids with the most abject lives can get a taste of the magic of the season and its meaning. A child doesn't recognize the commercialism and stress of adults, they see lovely scenes and promise, and of course toys and other gifts.

I daresay any adult can feel a nostalgia for that time, after the shock of finding out there is no Santa Claus, and how much all that stuff under the tree costs. But depending on one's personal history, the nostalgia might move into something more painful - a yearning for the loss of innocence or hope, tied into Christmas more easily than other areas of childhood.

I remember few happy moments from my childhood, but Christmases are some of the best.

Merry Christmas, Vincent! Peace and joy in the new year,

Perdita

 

[Wills]

Vincent and Perdita

We don't have Thanksgiving in Europe so we don't really know this 'downer' that descends, however I offer you this view.

There are just enough people to carry a 'religious' conscience, it may be to some degree collective but manifests itself through individuals. It lurks beneath the surface and creeps out disabling souls who think too much about the intention of Christmas and the actuality of Christmas.

I do not mean that we are Religious per say and accept the doctrine, rather that we recognise the good intent of the doctrine.

I do not mean that the poor, those suffering from the loss of loved ones, etc, carry the burden, rather that their burden is added to by the event of Christmas.

I do not mean that the lonely or those who choose to live alone feel 'extra lonelyness', rather the media image of family comfort distorts even the simplest of images into a grotesque distortion to feed commercial greed.

I am happy to be here in Lisboa where the streets are decorated without commercial intent, where shops wrap my Christmas purchases, without charging me extra, where most people on the street say 'Good Morning' and wish me 'Feliz Natal' or 'Boas Festas' because they mean it.

Will's

PS. Please do not misread the Religious conscience annotation. Religion in US is different from religion in Europe, believe it or not, and should be the subject of a New Year thread.

 

[TheEarl]

Lack of girlfriend who's at home for Christmas. Too many miles.

Svenska how the hell do you cope with this?

The Earl

 

[Guest]

Well, this year, I am down because hubby is gonna have to work part of Christmas Eve (and that's the night we do Christmas with my family.) It just won't seem right if he doesn't get off work in time to be there.

The other part for me is the stress and worry that goes along with wondering if we are going to have enough money to cover bills, groceries, and presents for the kids.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Thanksgiving and, especially Christmas, are very family and friends oriented and when someone is alone, for whatever reason, with no family and few or no good friends, this time of year can really be a bummer. I was in that condition many years ago, and I used to counteract it by getting unusually drunk during this time of year. That, of course, made it a lot worse. Fortuneately, I don't do that any more.

Lack of money can be part of the problem also, but lack of friends and/or family is a lot worse.

 

[fiery_jack]

The holiday season - scratch that, I'm not politically correct - The Christmas Season often brings feelings of depression and even dispair to many people. I would like to know what are some of the common issues that somtimes get people down for the holidays.

1) Being obliged to see, and spend hard earned cash buying presents for, relatives with whom the only thing you have in common is a pair of grandparents.

2) The way the sun doesn't shine anymore. It's hidden behind thick, never ending cloud, and only seems to be lighting the sky for the length of a LotR movie.

3) Any song mentioning Christmas. Yes, we know it's coming, we don't need reminding how we've not bought everything (see A), and have only X amount of days left.

They're also shite.

 

[TheEarl]

Re: Re: Going Down for the Holidays - It's Not What You Think

3) Any song mentioning Christmas. Yes, we know it's coming, we don't need reminding how we've not bought everything (see A), and have only X amount of days left.

They're also shite.

I'll second that actually. And presuming Fiery Jack is American, he doesn't even have to stand the annual assualt on English eardrums caused by Cliff Richard's latest Muzak offering.

The Earl

 

[dr_mabeuse]

We're barraged nonstop with advertising and entertainment showing us perfect families having perfect Christmases in perfect homes, and, if you're alone or lonely, if you're less than perfect, this just amounts to rubbing your face in your own dissatisfaction.

Couple this with the hassle a lot of people feel when they have to go back and spend time with family and parents whom they probably have issues with, cooped up inside with a lot of alcohol and nothing to do; the financial strains and demands on your time for Xmas shopping and meal preparation, and you've got a recipe for trouble.

---dr.M.

 

[raphy]

Re: Re: Going Down for the Holidays - It's Not What You Think

3) Any song mentioning Christmas. Yes, we know it's coming, we don't need reminding how we've not bought everything (see A), and have only X amount of days left.

Last year I did a ten-night run playing x-mas songs in a club's house band.

"Merry Xmas Everybody"
"Another Rock 'n Roll Christmas"
"Merry Christmas Everyone" - Yes, Shakin' fuckin' Stevens.
"Lonely this Christmas" - Y'know, the one that sounds like it should be Elvis, but isn't.

The list went on, and on, and on. We had to be called "Jingle Balls", and we all played wearing big red santa suits. You have any idea how hard it is to play guitar wearing a big red santa suit with fluffy sleeves?

*shudder*

 

[raphy]

Re: Re: Re: Going Down for the Holidays - It's Not What You Think

.. Double post.. Doh

 

[Vincent E]

You people may not know this, but this thread is helping a lot. i found out that some of the things I want to mention in the story are coming out here.

By the way, the one biggest thing that bothers me each year is Christmas music. I'm not in the camp that doesn't want to hear too much. To the contrary, I love the stuff. However I get a little sick and tired with the Santa/Toys/Commercial songs and the lack of more spiritual Christmas songs. We get the same old standards, and every recording "artist" seems to want to either record new, gutless, meaningless pop-mas songs or they just cover the same old same old.

I've looked in the back of the missal at each year and been amazed at the sheer number of spiritual songs that exist that no one ever records. There is enough material to put out a three-CD collection, but no one ever records these songs.

Honestly, when was the last time someone recorded On Jordan's Bank?

 

[oggbashan]

I've looked in the back of the missal at each year and been amazed at the sheer number of spiritual songs that exist that no one ever records. There is enough material to put out a three-CD collection, but no one ever records these songs.

Honestly, when was the last time someone recorded On Jordan's Bank?

In my shop I have several hymn books and the Oxford Book of Carols.

Some of the Christmas "songs" you wouldn't want to hear. The words and music are dire. But I'd rather hear them than Rolf Harris singing "Two Little Boys" or another cover version of "Mary's Boy Child".

Today I played The Messiah in my shop. Shame the customers were kept away by driving rain. I enjoyed it.

Og

 

[LorriLove]

hiya

i love christmas like a little kid, i get excited about november 1st and behave worse that our little one for the whole period.

i love all the xmas songs, not too many of the old crappy one's though, i like the more modern offerings, not fricking cliff, boring old tart, i've just been singing along with kirsty mc'coll and the Poges, fairy tale of newyork on the radio.

i look forward to family meetings, i love giving pressy's more than receiving them, and as far as the credit card peeps are concerned, well if i can't pay for it afterwards, they'll have to go whistle won't they.

best of all i love xmas pudding and cream, (no not that sort of cream perverts, tho it would be interesting )


lorri xxxxxxxxx acting like a kid.

 

[fiery_jack]

Re: Re: Re: Going Down for the Holidays - It's Not What You Think

I'll second that actually. And presuming Fiery Jack is American, he doesn't even have to stand the annual assualt on English eardrums caused by Cliff Richard's latest Muzak offering.

The Earl

Happily Mancunian, Earl, raised by a wonderful woman with (unfortunately) a taste for the "Peter Pan of Pop" and his innumerable albums. It is a pain i know only too well.

I think that carols and hymns are exempt from the scorn, being in tune with what Christmas is supposed to be about.

Last year I did a ten-night run playing x-mas songs in a club's house band.

"Merry Xmas Everybody"
"Another Rock 'n Roll Christmas"
"Merry Christmas Everyone" - Yes, Shakin' fuckin' Stevens.
"Lonely this Christmas" - Y'know, the one that sounds like it should be Elvis, but isn't.

The list went on, and on, and on. We had to be called "Jingle Balls", and we all played wearing big red santa suits. You have any idea how hard it is to play guitar wearing a big red santa suit with fluffy sleeves?

*shudder*

No idea at all, but the picture you paint is bloody funny.

 

[TheEarl]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Going Down for the Holidays - It's Not What You Think

Happily Mancunian, Earl, raised by a wonderful woman with (unfortunately) a taste for the "Peter Pan of Pop" and his innumerable albums. It is a pain i know only too well.

I'm so sorry.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

Re: hiya

i love all the xmas songs, not too many of the old crappy one's though, i like the more modern offerings, not fricking cliff, boring old tart, i've just been singing along with kirsty mc'coll and the Poges, fairy tale of newyork on the radio.

lorri xxxxxxxxx acting like a kid.

Lorri, I LOVE that song, it always sends shivers down my spine. It's up there with my favourite Christmas songs, along with Slade and Wizzard. I can't be doing with effing Cliff, either. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that The Darkness will be number one for Christmas this year, and keep those Pop Idol brats out of my face. That song belongs to John Lennon, no one else. Grrrr.

Lou, feeling better for a rant.

 

[Dirty Slut]

I have ridden the edge of the lonely eternal void
out where neither human, man or woman reside
and alone, unhampered by family desires
I have nestled amongst exploding stars
surfed on comets tails, and basque in the silence
of forever. And here, amidst the waste of heaven
I have nurtured a festering boil of ill contempt
at the everlasting line of excuses, and dribble
designed by malcontents, for malcontents,
and sipped on galactic mayhem in between.
With no future pre-written, only I decide
whether to live alone, or enjoy the company
of others like myself.


Merry Christmas

DS

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Re: Re: Re: Going Down for the Holidays - It's Not What You Think

Well, gee, DS. That was an awfully nice little poem. A little harsh at the end, but hey: it's Christmas.

I'll second that actually. And presuming Fiery Jack is American, he doesn't even have to stand the annual assualt on English eardrums caused by Cliff Richard's latest Muzak offering.

The Earl

There was a time not long ago when there simply was no Xmas music played on the air in the US, or, at the most, maybe for a couple of hours on Christmas morning.

I think this happened because of sensitivity involving separation of church & state , which is always a contentious issue here, because this was back when people started bringing suit to have religious symbols removed from public property on the grounds that it amounted to state sanctioning of religion. When I was a kid, I remember hearing a lot of carols and Christmas music, but and then it just totally dried up for a long while back in the late ‘70’s or so.

It’s back now, and with a vengeance. In Chicago where I liv, we have 3 stations that go to a 27/7 format of Christmas music right after our Thanksgiving. I understand that in some places they had stations that play nothing but Xmas music all year round.

---dr.M.

 

[Guest]

Just a plug for my hometown. A couple fave Christmas songs are "Ave Maria" (don't know why it's included in the xmas album but it's great) by Stevie Wonder (including his harmonica which makes me cry), and a sexy "Rudolph" by the Temps.

fa la la la la,

Perdita

 

[Dirty Slut]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Going Down for the Holidays - It's Not What You Think

Originally posted by dr_mabeuse
Well, gee, DS. That was an awfully nice little poem. A little harsh at the end, but hey: it's Christmas.



There was a time not long ago when there simply was no Xmas music played on the air in the US, or, at the most, maybe for a couple of hours on Christmas morning.

I think this happened because of sensitivity involving separation of church & state , which is always a contentious issue here, because this was back when people started bringing suit to have religious symbols removed from public property on the grounds that it amounted to state sanctioning of religion. When I was a kid, I remember hearing a lot of carols and Christmas music, but and then it just totally dried up for a long while back in the late ‘70’s or so.

It’s back now, and with a vengeance. In Chicago where I liv, we have 3 stations that go to a 27/7 format of Christmas music right after our Thanksgiving. I understand that in some places they had stations that play nothing but Xmas music all year round.

---dr.M.

Funny thing about that separation of church and state was that the people who put it in the constitution had left the old country because the state over there dictated to them how, who, when, and why they should pray, and that they could only belong to a certain christian religious group sanctioned by that government. In starting a whole new government here our forefathers wanted to leave the choices of which christian theology they wanted to belong to up to each individual, and not allow the new government to dictate how anyone should believe in God. The separation of church and state was to keep the government of the people, by the people, and for the people to pray to their God the way that each person chose to. This sepration was to keep the governments nose out of religion while at the same time recognizing the existance of God in the Judeao/Christian beliefs of it's peoples conscience. In fact the very reason for all of these people living here instead of the old country was due to religious persecution. But then these days there seem to be less, and less people who care what the true meaning of that constitutional doctrine is all about. They'd rather interpret it from a different angle to suit their own motivations.

DS

 

[Boxlicker101]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Going Down for the Holidays - It's Not What You Think

Funny thing about that separation of church and state was that the people who put it in the constitution had left the old country because the state over there dictated to them how, who, when, and why they should pray, and that they could only belong to a certain christian religious group sanctioned by that government. In starting a whole new government here our forefathers wanted to leave the choices of which christian theology they wanted to belong to up to each individual, and not allow the new government to dictate how anyone should believe in God. The separation of church and state was to keep the government of the people, by the people, and for the people to pray to their God the way that each person chose to. This sepration was to keep the governments nose out of religion while at the same time recognizing the existance of God in the Judeao/Christian beliefs of it's peoples conscience. In fact the very reason for all of these people living here instead of the old country was due to religious persecution. But then these days there seem to be less, and less people who care what the true meaning of that constitutional doctrine is all about. They'd rather interpret it from a different angle to suit their own motivations.



Close but not exactly, DS. The framers of the Bill of Rights looked at Europe and Asia and Africa and they saw a long, bloody history of pogroms, massacres and enslavement in the name of religion, and they saw destructive wars in the name of religion and they saw how some of the major religions sought to establish themselves as de-facto governments of supposedly sovereign nations, and they said "We will have none of that here." And they included in the bill of rights, in very plain language, a prohibition of the establishment of any religion by the national government and, by extension, any lesser government. They also included a probition against preventing the establishment of any religion. I'm not sure, but I think it was Thomas Jefferson who first referred to a "Wall of Separation".

Because some of the worst pogroms had been perpetrated against Jews, there was never any intention of limiting the freedoms to Christians or Judeo-Christians.

It is an overstatement to say that all the people came from the old country to escape religious persecution, although that was one of the major reasons, because people came for many different reasons.

Sometimes the "protectors" of the constitution are over-zealous, such as when they prohibit the construction of a creche or a menorah on public property during the holidays but I would much rather see over-zealousness than a chipping away at the safeguards. Prayer in school led by an authority figure, such as a teacher, is an example of the chipping away some people would like to do. I am pretty laid back and something of an agnostic but freedom of religion is one of the few things I would fight for

 

[raphy]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Going Down for the Holidays - It's Not What You Think

No idea at all, but the picture you paint is bloody funny.

Ho bloody ho



Raph, who's favorite christmas song is Weird Al's The Night Santa Went Crazy