IrezumiKiss
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2007
- Posts
- 74,229
Whassup y'all, this is ya boy, the ho in the know, the Goatee Universe Zumi IN THE HIZZOUZE here with the scoop for your poop and the hit for your shit...got your agonizers ready today? Cuz we had a DOOZY to feast off of recently...or maybe not so recently, but constantly occurring...
If you don't know what the Goatee Universe is about, then you is A BITCH...like someone who wants to get FUCKED IN THE ASS but without ASKING TO GET FUCKED IN THE ASS like every bonafide freak would want to do without some whatever getting in the middle...and you gon' live with that, so...anyways, I don't know where all that shit came from, but...alrite, enough of that, let's do the K.I.M....what happened today...some high schoolers GOT SHOT UP AGAIN, as is wont in Americ-DUHH...so...what the question is...
WHO THE FUCK CARES?
https://media.giphy.com/media/4AjWXJ8WjrK2Q/giphy.gif
that's America, right? Nobody fucking cares!
https://media.giphy.com/media/xT0BKpqAaJczduXXJ6/giphy.gif
Hey, hey, hey...over there in corner, don't give me that shit. I know you don't fucking care!
hey hey hey, LOOK, YOU FUCKING BEIGE BITCHES...calm yer Rottweilers and lissen to me...it's not like I'm not an unsympathetic and soulless husk of a person who got his life sucked out of him from having to navigate the basic streams of humanity, but...let's get down to brass tacks, nah'mean? LOOK AT THE FUCKING MATH.
Everybody dies, right? We're ALL destined to die, right? So their time came up a little bit faster on the Hertz train, yey? Bada bing, bada boom! Hell, your own fuckin' time might come up tomorrow from some little shaky bitch with no control over his final-piano-string-snapped life. Ya never know. All I'm sayin'!
* sips alcoholic beverage from plastic cup*
But still, when it happens, it happens! So! We ain't never getting rid of our gun freedoms, yey? And fuck it, let's face it, expecting whites to get over their genetic fears over the "other" in this country, when their guns will protect them? FUUUUUCK NOOOOO BITCHES!!! Got damn right, what the fuck you think this is, Peter Pan? Nah, we come correct and direct. Even against OTHER WHITE PEOPLE. Cuz them dudes are crazy. Even other white people know they cray. And that's our GOD GIVEN RIGHT. Fuck you if think God didn't give us them rights. You're fucking unAmerrrican!
https://media.giphy.com/media/12ZDIx1Mw1cXVm/giphy.gif
Anyway, look...I ain't sayin' I'm a heartless bastard or nothin', I'm just trying to tell youse guys of the bigger pictcha...pitcccha..pitcurture...what the...ugggh "picture." Fucking Tito's...anyway...there's a natural order to this shit going down these days and...look...maybe it ain't all lollipops and unicorns, but y'all liberal motherfuckers gotta give it a chance. Just like we gave you snowflakes a chance with that OBAMA Negro...uuuuuGGGGGH couldn't STAND that tracksuit-wearing motherfucker...
ANYWAY...
We gonna wrap up this session of GOATEE UNIVERSE ZUMI SEZ EP. 1, because liberals are shit. progressives are shit, they ain't been shit since they WERE shit and that was a looooooong time ago FUCK THE LIBERALS (LIBURULS; LIB'RULS; LIBUHRUHLUSHS), I can't stand them action-movie-making, money-generating superhero cock-stroking, tracksuit wearing, good penthouse-party throwing motherfuckers; it's perfectly okay to be an aging, impotent male in a sexually-based online environment with women who don't fit one's youthful Playmate Centerfold standards and pineapples are fucking awesome on pizza. With mayonnaise. Don't at me, motherfuckers, I know I'm right.
Until Ep. 2, Goatee Universe Zumi Sez: put your agonizers on your gottdamn hard-assed dicks in lieu of available vibrating cock rings and I am OOOOOOOOUGHT.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc4pvbDZis1r9ijxto1_500.gif
*insert dramatic outro music here*
*insert warping sound of a melted vinyl record being played here, signifying something twisted and audial bent in mentality*
*insert another fucking tequila shot gotdammit*
If you don't know what the Goatee Universe is about, then you is A BITCH...like someone who wants to get FUCKED IN THE ASS but without ASKING TO GET FUCKED IN THE ASS like every bonafide freak would want to do without some whatever getting in the middle...and you gon' live with that, so...anyways, I don't know where all that shit came from, but...alrite, enough of that, let's do the K.I.M....what happened today...some high schoolers GOT SHOT UP AGAIN, as is wont in Americ-DUHH...so...what the question is...
WHO THE FUCK CARES?
https://media.giphy.com/media/4AjWXJ8WjrK2Q/giphy.gif
that's America, right? Nobody fucking cares!
https://media.giphy.com/media/xT0BKpqAaJczduXXJ6/giphy.gif
Hey, hey, hey...over there in corner, don't give me that shit. I know you don't fucking care!
hey hey hey, LOOK, YOU FUCKING BEIGE BITCHES...calm yer Rottweilers and lissen to me...it's not like I'm not an unsympathetic and soulless husk of a person who got his life sucked out of him from having to navigate the basic streams of humanity, but...let's get down to brass tacks, nah'mean? LOOK AT THE FUCKING MATH.
Everybody dies, right? We're ALL destined to die, right? So their time came up a little bit faster on the Hertz train, yey? Bada bing, bada boom! Hell, your own fuckin' time might come up tomorrow from some little shaky bitch with no control over his final-piano-string-snapped life. Ya never know. All I'm sayin'!
* sips alcoholic beverage from plastic cup*
But still, when it happens, it happens! So! We ain't never getting rid of our gun freedoms, yey? And fuck it, let's face it, expecting whites to get over their genetic fears over the "other" in this country, when their guns will protect them? FUUUUUCK NOOOOO BITCHES!!! Got damn right, what the fuck you think this is, Peter Pan? Nah, we come correct and direct. Even against OTHER WHITE PEOPLE. Cuz them dudes are crazy. Even other white people know they cray. And that's our GOD GIVEN RIGHT. Fuck you if think God didn't give us them rights. You're fucking unAmerrrican!
https://media.giphy.com/media/12ZDIx1Mw1cXVm/giphy.gif
Anyway, look...I ain't sayin' I'm a heartless bastard or nothin', I'm just trying to tell youse guys of the bigger pictcha...pitcccha..pitcurture...what the...ugggh "picture." Fucking Tito's...anyway...there's a natural order to this shit going down these days and...look...maybe it ain't all lollipops and unicorns, but y'all liberal motherfuckers gotta give it a chance. Just like we gave you snowflakes a chance with that OBAMA Negro...uuuuuGGGGGH couldn't STAND that tracksuit-wearing motherfucker...
ANYWAY...
We gonna wrap up this session of GOATEE UNIVERSE ZUMI SEZ EP. 1, because liberals are shit. progressives are shit, they ain't been shit since they WERE shit and that was a looooooong time ago FUCK THE LIBERALS (LIBURULS; LIB'RULS; LIBUHRUHLUSHS), I can't stand them action-movie-making, money-generating superhero cock-stroking, tracksuit wearing, good penthouse-party throwing motherfuckers; it's perfectly okay to be an aging, impotent male in a sexually-based online environment with women who don't fit one's youthful Playmate Centerfold standards and pineapples are fucking awesome on pizza. With mayonnaise. Don't at me, motherfuckers, I know I'm right.
Until Ep. 2, Goatee Universe Zumi Sez: put your agonizers on your gottdamn hard-assed dicks in lieu of available vibrating cock rings and I am OOOOOOOOUGHT.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc4pvbDZis1r9ijxto1_500.gif
*insert dramatic outro music here*
*insert warping sound of a melted vinyl record being played here, signifying something twisted and audial bent in mentality*
*insert another fucking tequila shot gotdammit*
