Goals Setting

[Ebonyfire]

Dominants, do you set goals or benchmarks for your subs?

Submissives, do you have goals that you get for yourself or does your dominant set goals for you?


I set goals over time. At first my goal focuses on structuring the relationship between myself and my sub.

The first goal is setting specific boundaries. Rome wasn't built in a day, and a functioning DF/s relationship isn't either.

Remember goals must be specific and they must be measurable.

Care to share?

 

[FungiUg]

Yes, definately. Not only does it give them some idea of where I want to go with them, but it gives them something to work towards, and a sense of acheivement.

This normally goes hand in hand with training.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Yes, definately. Not only does it give them some idea of where I want to go with them, but it gives them something to work towards, and a sense of acheivement.

This normally goes hand in hand with training.

It is important that a sub knows he or she is accomplishing something that is important to the dominant, isn't it?

Thanks for sharing.

 

[FungiUg]

It is important that a sub knows he or she is accomplishing something that is important to the dominant, isn't it?

Thanks for sharing.

Yeah, it is. When you think about it, a submissive's whole "thing" is about pleasing his/her dominant. So if they have goals, it means they can see their progress toward something they know their dominant wants. Direct feedback to them getting what they want in turn.

After all, a D/s relationship is all about quid pro quo. In my case, I get the service of a woman desperate to please me, and she gets the pleasure of knowing she has served well.

So... goals bring that more to focus.

The only trick is -- what do you do once they reach all their goals? Escalation can be an issue sometimes. But that folds over nicely to the thread on what to do in long-term D/s relationships.

Er, by the way Eb, did you know we share something? Kitchen implements!

 

[Ebonyfire]

The only trick is -- what do you do once they reach all their goals? Escalation can be an issue sometimes. But that folds over nicely to the thread on what to do in long-term D/s relationships.

How can that be so? There are always new frontiers to discover. Otherwise relationships (whether D/s or vanilla) grow stale and stagnate.



Er, by the way Eb, did you know we share something? Kitchen implements!

Cool, it brings a whole new meaning to "cooking"!