"Global Warming Could Lead to Vast Chocolate Shortage"

[JackLuis]

In a world that takes for granted the availability of delicious and affordable chocolate, it's easy to forget that the popular product actually comes from trees -- not magical elves or free-flowing cocoa rivers, sadly. But, some experts are predicting that in a matter of decades a drop in production due to changing weather and agriculture incentives may make chocolate 'as expensive as gold'. "In 20 years chocolate will be like caviar.

My first impulse upon reading this was to open a "Dove Dark Chocolate Promise". Good help us all!

 

[Carnevil9]

Okay, if this is for real, I will finally take GW seriously! Some things are above and beyond politics.

 

[squarejohn]

My first impulse upon reading this was to open a "Dove Dark Chocolate Promise". Good help us all!

There are only a few places on earth where chocolate can be grown, so there is a limited supply of it.

China, which is a fast developing nation, with a population more than the U.S.A. and Europe combined, will soon discover chocolate. Imagine what the price of a chocolate bar will be when the limited supply of chocolate faces a sudden nearly unlimited demand for it.

 

[trysail]

One more to add to the list.
Courtesy of:
http://www.numberwatch.co.uk/warmlist.htm

A complete list of things caused by global warming:

Acne, agricultural land increase, Afghan poppies destroyed, aged deaths, poppies more potent, Africa devastated, Africa in conflict, African aid threatened, African summer frost, aggressive weeds, Air France crash, air pressure changes, airport farewells virtual, airport malaria, Agulhas current, Alaskan towns slowly destroyed, Al Qaeda and Taliban Being Helped, allergy increase, allergy season longer, alligators in the Thames, Alps melting, Amazon a desert, American dream end, amphibians breeding earlier (or not), anaphylactic reactions to bee stings, ancient forests dramatically changed, animals head for the hills, animals shrink, Antarctic grass flourishes, Antarctic ice grows, Antarctic ice shrinks, Antarctic sea life at risk, anxiety treatment, algal blooms, archaeological sites threatened, Arctic bogs melt, Arctic in bloom, Arctic ice free, Arctic ice melt faster, Arctic lakes disappear, Arctic tundra lost, Arctic warming (not), a rose by any other name smells of nothing, asteroid strike risk, asthma, Atlantic less salty, Atlantic more salty, atmospheric circulation modified, attack of the killer jellyfish, avalanches reduced, avalanches increased, Baghdad snow, Bahrain under water, bananas grow, barbarisation, bats decline, beer and bread prices to soar, beer better, beer worse, beetle infestation, bet for $10,000, big melt faster, billion dollar research projects, billion homeless, billions face risk, billions of deaths, bird distributions change, bird loss accelerating, bird strikes, bird visitors drop, birds confused, birds decline (Wales), birds driven north, birds face longer migrations, birds return early, birds shrink(Aus), birds shrink (USA), bittern boom ends, blackbirds stop singing, blackbirds threatened, Black Hawk down, blizzards, blood contaminated, blue mussels return, borders redrawn, bluetongue, brain eating amoebae, brains shrink, bridge collapse (Minneapolis), Britain one big city, Britain Siberian, British monsoon, brothels struggle, brown Ireland, bubonic plague, budget increases, Buddhist temple threatened, building collapse, building season extension, bushfires, butterflies move north, butterflies reeling, carbon crimes, camel deaths, cancer deaths in England, cannibalism, caterpillar biomass shift, cave paintings threatened, childhood insomnia, Cholera, circumcision in decline, cirrus disappearance, civil unrest, cloud increase, coast beauty spots lost, cockroach migration, cod go south, coffee threatened, coffee berry borer, coffee berry disease, cold climate creatures survive, cold spells (Australia), cold wave (India), cold weather (world), computer models, conferences, conflict, conflict with Russia, consumers foot the bill, coral bleaching, coral fish suffer, coral reefs dying, coral reefs grow, coral reefs shrink , coral reefs twilight, cost of trillions, cougar attacks, crabgrass menace, cradle of civilisation threatened, creatures move uphill, crime increase, crocodile sex, crops devastated, crumbling roads, buildings and sewage systems, curriculum change, cyclones (Australia), danger to kid's health, Darfur, Dartford Warbler plague, deadly virus outbreaks, death rate increase (US), deaths to reach 6 million, Dengue hemorrhagic fever, depression, desert advance, desert retreat, destruction of the environment, dig sites threatened, disasters, diseases move north, dog disease, Dolomites collapse, dozen deadly diseases - or not, drought, ducks and geese decline, dust bowl in the corn belt, earlier pollen season, Earth axis tilt, Earth biodiversity crisis, Earth dying, Earth even hotter, Earth light dimming, Earth lopsided, Earth melting, Earth morbid fever, Earth on fast track, Earth past point of no return, Earth slowing down, Earth spins faster, Earth to explode, earth upside down, earthquakes, earthquakes redux, El Niño intensification, end of the world as we know it, erosion, emerging infections, encephalitis, English villages lost, equality threatened, Europe simultaneously baking and freezing, eutrophication, evolution accelerating, expansion of university climate groups, extinctions (human, civilisation, koalas, logic, Inuit, smallest butterfly, cod, penguins, pikas, polar bears, possums, walrus, tigers, toads, turtles, plants, rhinoceros, salmon, trout, wild flowers, woodlice, a million species, half of all animal and plant species, mountain species, not polar bears, barrier reef, leaches, salamanders, tropical insects) experts muzzled, extreme changes to California, fading fall foliage, fainting, famine, farmers benefit, farmers go under, farm output boost, farming soil decline, fashion disaster, fever, figurehead sacked, fir cone bonanza, fires fanned in Nepal, fish bigger, fish catches drop, fish downsize, fish deaf, fish get lost, fish head north, fish shrinking, fish stocks at risk, fish stocks decline, five million illnesses, flesh eating disease, flies on Everest, flood patterns change, floods, floods of beaches and cities, flood of migrants, flood preparation for crisis, flora dispersed, Florida economic decline, flowers in peril, fog increase in San Francisco, fog decrease in San Francisco, food poisoning, food prices rise, food prices soar, food security threat (SA), football team migration, forest decline, forest expansion, foundations threatened, frog with extra heads, frostbite, frost damage increased, fungi fruitful, fungi invasion, games change, Garden of Eden wilts, geese decline in Hampshire, genetic changes, genetic diversity decline, gene pools slashed, geysers imperiled, giant icebergs (Australia), giant oysters invade, giant pythons invade, giant squid migrate, gingerbread houses collapse, glacial earthquakes, glacial retreat, glacier grows (California), glaciers on Snowden, glacier wrapped, global cooling, glowing clouds, golf course to drown, golf Masters wrecked, grain output drop (China), grandstanding, grasslands wetter, gravity shift, Great Barrier Reef 95% dead, Great Lakes drop, great tits cope, greening of the North, Grey whales lose weight, Gulf Stream failure, habitat loss, haggis threatened, Hantavirus pulmonary syndrome, harvest increase, harvest shrinkage, hay fever epidemic, health affected, health of children harmed, health risks, health risks (even more), heart disease, heart attacks and strokes (Australia), heat waves, hedgehogs bald, hibernation affected, hibernation ends too soon, hibernation ends too late, homeless 50 million, hornets, human development faces unprecedented reversal, human fertility reduced, human health risk, human race oblivion, hurricanes, hurricane reduction, hurricanes fewer, hurricanes more intense, hurricanes not, hydropower problems, hyperthermia deaths, ice age, ice sheet growth, ice sheet shrinkage, icebergs, illness and death, inclement weather, India drowning, infrastructure failure (Canada), indigestion, industry threatened, infectious diseases, inflation in China, insect explosion, insect invasion, insurance premium rises, Inuit displacement, Inuit poisoned, Inuit suing, invasion of alien worms, invasion of Antarctic aliens, invasion of Asian carp, invasion of cats, invasion of crabgrass, invasion of herons, invasion of jellyfish, invasion of king crabs, invasion of midges, invasion of slugs, island disappears, islands sinking, Italy robbed of pasta, itchier poison ivy, jellyfish explosion, jets fall from sky, Kew Gardens taxed, kidney stones, killer cornflakes, killing us, kitten boom, koalas under threat, krill decline, lake and stream productivity decline, lake empties, lake shrinking and growing, landslides, landslides of ice at 140 mph, large trees decline, lawsuits increase, lawsuit successful, lawyers' income increased (surprise surprise!), lawyers want more, legionnaires' surge, lives lost, lives saved, Loch Ness monster dead, locust plagues suppressed, lush growth in rain forests, Lyme disease, Malaria, mammoth dung melt, mango harvest fails, Maple production advanced, Maple syrup shortage, marine diseases, marine food chain decimated, Meaching (end of the world), Meat eating to stop, Mediterranean rises, megacryometeors, Melanoma, Melanoma decline, mental illness, methane emissions from plants, methane burps, methane runaway, melting permafrost, Middle Kingdom convulses, migration, migratory birds huge losses, microbes to decompose soil carbon more rapidly, minorities hit, monkeys at risk, monkeys on the move, Mont Blanc grows, monuments imperiled, moose dying, more bad air days, more research needed, mortality increased, mosquitoes adapting, mountain (Everest) shrinking, mountaineers fears, mountains break up, mountains green and flowering, mountains taller, mortality lower, murder rate increase, musk ox decline, Myanmar cyclone, narwhals at risk, National Parks damaged, National security implications, native wildlife overwhelmed, natural disasters quadruple, new islands, next ice age, NFL threatened, Nile delta damaged, noctilucent clouds, no effect in India, Northwest Passage opened, nuclear plants bloom, oaks dying, oaks move north, ocean acidification, ocean acidification faster, ocean dead spots, ocean dead zones unleashed, ocean deserts expand, ocean waves speed up, Olympic Games to end, opera house to be destroyed, outdoor hockey threatened, oxygen depletion zones, ozone repair slowed, ozone rise, penguin chicks frozen, penguin chicks smaller, penguins replaced by jellyfish, personal carbon rationing, pest outbreaks, pests increase, phenology shifts, pines decline, pirate population decrease, plankton blooms, plankton wiped out, plants lose protein, plants march north, plants move uphill, polar bears aggressive, polar bears cannibalistic, polar bears deaf, polar bears drowning, polar tours scrapped, popcorn rise, porpoise astray, profits collapse, psychiatric illness, puffin decline, pushes poor women into prostitution, rabid bats, radars taken out, railroad tracks deformed, rainfall increase, rape wave, refugees, reindeer endangered, release of ancient frozen viruses, resorts disappear, rice threatened, rice yields crash, rift on Capitol Hill, rioting and nuclear war, river flow impacted, rivers raised, road accidents, roads wear out, robins rampant, rocky peaks crack apart, roof of the world a desert, rooftop bars, Ross river disease, ruins ruined, Russia under pressure, salinity reduction, salinity increase, Salmonella, salmon stronger, satellites accelerate, school closures, sea level rise, sea level rise faster, seals mating more, seismic activity, sewer bills rise, severe thunderstorms, sex change, sexual promiscuity, shark attacks, sharks booming, sharks moving north, sheep change colour, sheep shrink, shop closures, short-nosed dogs endangered, shrinking ponds, shrinking sheep, shrinking shrine, Sidney Opera House wiped out, ski resorts threatened, slow death, smaller brains, smelt down, smog, snowfall decrease, snowfall increase, snowfall heavy, snow thicker, soaring food prices, societal collapse, soil change, songbirds change eating habits, sour grapes, space problem, spectacular orchids, spiders getting bigger, spiders invade Scotland, squid larger, squid population explosion, squid tamed, squirrels reproduce earlier, stingray invasion, storms wetter, stratospheric cooling, street crime to increase, subsidence, suicide, swordfish in the Baltic, Tabasco tragedy, taxes, tectonic plate movement, terrorists (India), thatched cottages at risk, threat to peace, ticks move northward (Sweden), tides rise, tigers eat people, tomatoes rot, tornado outbreak, tourism increase, toxic seaweed, trade barriers, trade winds weakened, traffic jams, transportation threatened, tree foliage increase (UK), tree growth slowed, tree growth faster, trees in trouble, trees less colourful, trees more colourful, trees lush, trees on Antarctica, treelines change, tropics expansion, tropopause raised, truffle shortage, truffles down, turtles crash, turtle feminised, turtles lay earlier, UFO sightings, UK coastal impact, UK Katrina, Vampire moths, Venice flooded, violin decline, volcanic eruptions, walrus pups orphaned, walrus stampede, wars over water, wars sparked, wars threaten billions, wasps, water bills double, water scarcity (20% of increase), wave of natural disasters, waves bigger, weather out of its mind, weather patterns awry, weather patterns last longer, Western aid cancelled out, West Nile fever, whale beachings, whales lose weight, whales move north, wheat yields crushed in Australia, wildfires, wind shift, wind reduced, winds stronger, winds weaker, wine - Australian baked, wine - harm to Australian industry, wine industry damage (California), wine industry disaster (US), wine - more English, wine - England too hot, wine -German boon, wine - no more French , wine passé (Napa), wine - Scotland best, wine stronger, winters in Britain colder, winter in Britain dead, witchcraft executions, wolverine decline, wolves eat more moose, wolves eat less, workers laid off, World at war, World War 4, World bankruptcy, World in crisis, World in flames, Yellow fever, zebra mussel threat, zoonotic diseases.

Africa hit hardest, Alaska reshaped, allergies increase, anxiety, Arctic tundra to burn, atmospheric defiance, bananas destroyed, beer shortage, blizzards, boredom, business opportunities, business risks, British gardens change, cardiac arrest, cataracts, challenges and opportunities, cloud stripping, cold spells, cremation to end, damages equivalent to $200 billion, dermatitis, desert life threatened, diarrhoea, disappearance of coastal cities, drowning people, early marriages, early spring, Earth spinning out of control, Earth wobbling, extinctions (bats, ladybirds, pandas, pigmy possums, koalas, turtles, orang-utan, elephants, tigers, gorillas, whales, frogs, penguins,) fish catches rise, flames stoked, footpath erosion, frosts, glacial growth, global dimming, god melts, Gore omnipresence, harmful algae, hazardous waste sites breached, high court debates, HIV epidemic, human health improvement, ice shelf collapse, lightning related insurance claims, little response in the atmosphere, Lyme disease, jet stream drifts north, malnutrition, marine dead zone, Maple production advanced, mental illness (Alberta), migration difficult (birds), mountains melting, mudslides, oceans noisier, oblivion, oyster diseases, ozone loss, Pacific dead zone, plankton destabilised, plankton loss, plant viruses, polar bears cannibalistic, polar bears starve, psychosocial disturbances, rainfall reduction, reindeer larger, riches, rivers dry up, rockfalls, shrimp sex problems, skin cancer, snowfall reduction, squid aggressive giants, stick insects, stormwater drains stressed, teenage drinking, terrorism, tree beetle attacks, trees could return to Antarctic, tree growth increased, tsunamis, tundra plant life boost, uprooted - 6 million, walrus displaced, war, war between US and Canada, water stress, water supply unreliability, weeds, whales wiped out, white Christmas dream ends.


and all on 0.006 deg C per year!

Total: 690

 

[oggbashan]

That list could also be given as a consequence of:

The complete electoral success of the Tea Party;
The complete electoral success of the Democrats;
The worldwide shortage of oil;
The failure of the United Nations;
The success of the United Nations;
etc.

Og

 

[wet_special]

Thank you trysail for injecting some sanity here. I think mankind needs to get its perspective straight here, and that is, take care of the displaced walruses before you STUFF YOUR FUCKING FACE WITH MORE CHOCOLATE!! ARRGHHH!!!

Seriously.. there's nothing that scientists won't claim and project calamity in 5, 10, or 20 years, just to get their names in the headlines nowadays. These guys make me sick. Chocolate grows on trees?? SO DO CRACKPOT FEARMONGERS!! ARGHHH!!

 

[Stella_Omega]

If we take care of the displaced walruses, we will also be taking care of the chocolate supply.

At the very same time. The solutions are interconnected.

 

[Liar]

Welll of course, it's all gonna melt.

Duh.

 

[wet_special]

If we take care of the displaced walruses, we will also be taking care of the chocolate supply.

At the very same time. The solutions are interconnected.

Sorry I didn't mean to make fun of your religion of Global Warming.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Sorry I didn't mean to make fun of your religion of Global Warming.

How do you think we should take care of the displaced walruses?

 

[glynndah]

How do you think we should take care of the displaced walruses?

I've got a fenced-in back yard. I suppose I could take one or two.

 

[manyeyedhydra]

Sorry I didn't mean to make fun of your religion of Global Warming.

Ignorant trolls be trollin' Ma...

 

[wet_special]

How do you think we should take care of the displaced walruses?

You have yet to prove that AGW is anything other than a fraud, and I'm certainly not buying that a 0.6 C degree temperature change will cause the walruses to take flight for colder locales. I mean swim. Waddle. You know.

I stand by my assertion that Global Warming is a religion.

P.S. Love your stories all of em Hydra.. if you're callin' me an ignorant troll it burns.. haha.. But w/e, warmists are what they are.

 

[TE999]

How do you think we should take care of the displaced walruses?

Q. What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?

A. Both like a tight seal.

Goo, goo, goo, goo, joob.

 

[SlickTony]

I've said it before, I'll say it again, the scientists made a mistake when they didn't take Thomas Friedman's advice and call it Global Weirding instead of global warming. They're at the mercy of every denier crowing at them whenever there's an (unseasonable0 blizzard. Stats make my head spin, but at least I can see what I'm looking at:

1. Wide expanses of Arctic Ocean where none used to exist; shipping companies eagerly anticipating new routes farther north
2. The Snows of kilimanjaro are a thing of the past
3. Hurricanes getting to the end of the names list for the year;
4. The lucrative maple syrup business gradually migrating from the New England states into Canada;
5. Fleas delaying their winter dormancy period; having to buy my cats Advantage later and later in the fall, year after year.
6. Rising sea levels forcing some island and coastal nations out of existence

I'm sure there are other examples I've temporarily forgotten about, but these will do to go on with. I am not in the business of trying to make climate change deniers change their minds; let's just see what tune they're singing when they find themselves paying $20 for a snickers.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You have yet to prove that AGW is anything other than a fraud, and I'm certainly not buying that a 0.6 C degree temperature change will cause the walruses to take flight for colder locales. I mean swim. Waddle. You know.

I stand by my assertion that Global Warming is a religion.

P.S. Love your stories all of em Hydra.. if you're callin' me an ignorant troll it burns.. haha.. But w/e, warmists are what they are.

Funny thing about empirical evidence; you don't have to "buy it."

So, how do you want to take care of displaced walruses?
Because we have to do that before we can worry about cacao trees, right? I mean, according to what you've said, anyway.

 

[wet_special]

Funny thing about empirical evidence; you don't have to "buy it."

So, how do you want to take care of displaced walruses?
Because we have to do that before we can worry about cacao trees, right? I mean, according to what you've said, anyway.

Snows of Kilimanjaro gone could be a result of other things. I don't accept the premise of your question, period. I want to hear why AGW is real. To hear warmists tell it, pretty soon Alaska will be the new Florida, all because we used incandescent light bulbs and drove our SUV's to the beach.

And every time I ask warmists where's the proof, WHY don't they just point to East Anglia? Because then I would be able to say "See? It's all a fraud."

And nothing you can say can change the fact that the scientists there were all more driven by reaching the solution they agreed with than actually trying to find the truth. I've read the emails and the readme. Their computer models were a COMPLETE PURPOSEFUL FRAUD.

And I'm amused to see the warmists swarming here to defend their religion. To them I say.. I feel sorry for you.

 

[manyeyedhydra]

You have yet to prove that AGW is anything other than a fraud, and I'm certainly not buying that a 0.6 C degree temperature change will cause the walruses to take flight for colder locales. I mean swim. Waddle. You know.

I stand by my assertion that Global Warming is a religion.

P.S. Love your stories all of em Hydra.. if you're callin' me an ignorant troll it burns.. haha.. But w/e, warmists are what they are.

I hate ignorance being worn as a badge of honour. I hate how special interest groups on both sides have turned this into some kind of tribal identity politics, sodomizing the science in the process.

It seems really simple to me. If you want an opinion on a medical diagnosis, you ask a doctor. If you need to know something about hazardous chemicals, you find a chemist. If you want to know something about environment/climate, you go see the people that have spent their lives studying it.

A lot of them are concerned that something seriously screwy is heading our way over the next few decades. Maybe we should, y'know, listen to them. Being that they're the experts an all.

 

[trysail]

However, at the heart of the IPCC is a cadre of scientists whose careers have been made by the IPCC. These scientists have used the IPCC to jump the normal meritocracy process by which scientists achieve influence over the politics of science and policy. Not only has this brought some relatively unknown, inexperienced and possibly dubious people into positions of influence, but these people become vested in protecting the IPCC, which has become central to their own career and legitimizes playing power politics with their expertise.

http://judithcurry.com/2010/11/03/reversing-the-direction-of-the-positive-feedback-loop/


-Judith A. Curry, Ph.D.
Professor & Chair, School of Earth and Atmospheric Sciences
Georgia Institute of Technology
Ph.D., Geophysical Sciences, University of Chicago, 1982
NASA Advisory Council Earth Science Subcommittee
Fellow, American Meteorological Society
Fellow, American Association for the Advancement of Science
Fellow, American Geophysical Union

 

[trysail]

An excellent letter by Matt Ridley ( noted science writer, author of, among other books, Genome: The Autobiography of a Species in 23 Chapters ):
http://www.rationaloptimist.com/blog/best-shot

includes the following exhibits:​

http://jonova.s3.amazonaws.com/graphs/lappi/gisp-last-10000-new.png

Contiguous U.S. temperatures from NCDC ( prior to adjustment ):
http://wattsupwiththat.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/long_rural_urban_raw.png​

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matt_Ridley

 

[trysail]

An ice-free Arctic is nothing new:

http://adsabs.harvard.edu/abs/2007AGUFMPP11A0203F


Abstract:

Extensive systems of wave generated beach ridges along the North Greenland coasts show that these areas once saw seasonally open water. In addition to beach ridges, large amounts of striated boulders in and on the marine sediments from the same period also indicate that the ocean was open enough for ice bergs to drift along the shore and drop their loads. Presently the North Greenland coastline is permanently beleaguered by pack ice, and ice bergs are very rare and locked up in the sea ice. Predictions of the rapidly decreasing sea ice in the Arctic Ocean generally point to this area as the last to become ice free in summer. We therefore suggest that the occurrence of wave generated shores and abundant ice berg dropped boulders indicate that the Arctic Ocean was nearly free of sea ice in the summer at the time when they were formed. The beach ridges occur as isostatically raised "staircases", and C14-dated curves for relative sea level change show that they were formed in the Early Holocene. A large set of samples of molluscs from beach ridges and marine sediments were collected in the summer of 2007, and are presently being dated to give a precise dating of the ice free interval. Preliminary results indicate that it fell within the interval from c. 8.5 to c. 6 ka &150; being progressively shorter from south to north. We therefore conclude that for a priod in the Early Holocene, probably for a millenium or more, the Arctic Ocean was free of sea ice at least for shorter periods in the summer. This may serve as an analogue to the predicted "greenhouse situation" expected to appear within our century.

 

[wet_special]

An ice-free Arctic is nothing new:

http://adsabs.harvard.edu/abs/2007AGUFMPP11A0203F


Trysail awesome posts. You know your stuff. I'm frankly so fed up with these IPCC types that I forgot all about the IPCC.

IPCC
Hadley CRU
East Anglia
Michael Mann
Phil Jones

Words all synonymous with agenda driven research.

Phil Jones, an agenda driven researcher, still has his job at East Anglia. Guess their standards aren't too high to rehire a known agenda driven researcher.

 

[JackLuis]

So all we have to worry about is the Chinese getting to like Chocolate?

If they all start eating my Hersey Bars, I'll be pissed.

 

[manyeyedhydra]

Words all synonymous with agenda driven research.

And the oil companies are funding the other side through the goodness of their heart... They'll win, of course, they have more money. As for the truth, I guess we'll find out in a decade or so. Personally, I hope the deniers are right. Being able to say 'I told you so' isn't very appealing when we're both starving to death.

The East Anglia thing was extremely shoddy, I'll concede that.

 

[wet_special]

And the oil companies are funding the other side through the goodness of their heart... They'll win, of course, they have more money. As for the truth, I guess we'll find out in a decade or so. Personally, I hope the deniers are right. Being able to say 'I told you so' isn't very appealing when we're both starving to death.

The East Anglia thing was extremely shoddy, I'll concede that.

It's not the seriousness of the charge, it's the validity of the claim. If AGW is just a fear tactic used by anti-capitalist types.. and I think it is.. well, if we do nothing we'll be fine in 10 years. Actually Al Gore's countdown of 10 years that he claimed 5 years ago leaves us with a scant 5 years and 2 months to go until armageddon, so if we're still not experiencing mass flights of walruses I'm going to consider it case closed.

I could get into this seriously but it's just a waste of time. i got pages and pages of proofreading to do.