Hello all. This site was actually recommended to my by a former submissive and I've lurked for a handful of months now but until today have not had a question to ask. So I'm jumping in.
A bit about myself. I'm a Dominant. I've practiced my craft for over ten years now. I'm not part of the lifestyle, at least not in the overt 24/7 way, but BDSM (more specifically the SM side) are distinct passions in my life. I'm in my early 30s and live/work in New York City.
First some background on my current situation.
I'm in a BDSM relationship with woman. It can be descibed best as a play relationship where at best we play in the areas of BDSM and a Top & bottom. We both have vanilla relationships outside of this. Our play is focused around pain. I am an experienced sadist and she has only a slight bit of experience as a masochist. We've been scening for a couple months now and all is well. We give each other what we need and it gives us both what we want out of it.
However, due to her relationship and living with said person, she has a need (and I should say hard limit) of not being marked. Not being marked in obviously sexual ways. At least not in huge ways. She has left previous scenes with a few small marks on her and as told me that in the following days some marks bruise up and she can explain them away as this and that. It will happen in what we are doing and she is aware of that, as am I, but my task is to not mark her in drastic ways. She is very fair skinned and marks/brusies very easily. It took us a few scenes to work out just what will mark her and how bad and I will say that she can not be flogged, caned, tied or spanked/hit (i.e. breasts) without her marking badly.
I've been enjoying the challenge and restriction though. It's forced me to become more creative in many ways and move out of areas that I know well (such as floggers, canes and rope bondage) and into new, somewhat more subtle areas, that don't mark her body in overly obvious ways.
Over our past couple months I have come to focus on the following, non-marking forms of pain giving;
-foot caning/flogging. While said tools do mark the soles of her fit slightly it's an area that is hard to really mark on someone and even then is easily explained away. Rubber bands and the like have also been used on her feet.
-wooden clothespins. The old staple, yes? These are mainly used on her nipples, ears, genitals...areas that will redden and will mark slightly but to the untrained eye are not overly obvious.
-Genital torture. Again flogging/caning on her vagina and said senstive flesh. Same as above. I also including nipple pinching here.
-Mental control. Sensory depravation and the like. We trust one another and this is an area I enjoy greatly. She has been enjoying it thus far but has admited she craves more physical pain.
-Fisting/stretching...of her vagina and anus. Done with toys or hands. I only mention this outside of genital torture so it's not mentioned again.
-Spanking. her ass can take some up to a certian point, though not far enough where it even remotely nears her limit anymore.
-Breath control/choking. The first is done with hand over mouth, ball gags and gags and even simply telling her to hold her breath. The choking aspect is done in moderation as she does mark slightly from my hand if pressed. Simple things such as a pillow over her face as she is getting fucked have been done as well (which she said she enjoys very much). Choking is something I know well and can do without having to pressure her skin too much.
-Hair Pulling. It has it's place, she has long hair which is fun, but one can only go so far with this.
-Slapping. Her face can take alot. Though the types of slapping used are more to get her attention when she is to focus on something.
-Balance and Muscle fatigue. As in, giving her a position to maintain while i enjoy her suffering from her muscles tensing and such. She is athletic, as am I, so this is am area we both greatly like. I like the visual aspects of her suffering. She enjoys seeing what she can do and being pushed passed areas she though she couldn't go past (but that is also a big picture thing).
-Gagging. Deep throating and throat fucking. Areas she wanted to explore and I have shown her where they go. She has admitted she likes them and I will say she is a champ at how much of this she can take.
I have some additional room to play in the areas I descibed above but will admit that I am coming to an end of my own ideas.
So I ask you all. What other types of pain giving/SM play ideas could people come up with that most likely won't end in heavy marking. Marks like what a flogger or cane or ropes would leave on her body?
Ideas?
Thank you all for any help ahead of time.
A bit about myself. I'm a Dominant. I've practiced my craft for over ten years now. I'm not part of the lifestyle, at least not in the overt 24/7 way, but BDSM (more specifically the SM side) are distinct passions in my life. I'm in my early 30s and live/work in New York City.
First some background on my current situation.
I'm in a BDSM relationship with woman. It can be descibed best as a play relationship where at best we play in the areas of BDSM and a Top & bottom. We both have vanilla relationships outside of this. Our play is focused around pain. I am an experienced sadist and she has only a slight bit of experience as a masochist. We've been scening for a couple months now and all is well. We give each other what we need and it gives us both what we want out of it.
However, due to her relationship and living with said person, she has a need (and I should say hard limit) of not being marked. Not being marked in obviously sexual ways. At least not in huge ways. She has left previous scenes with a few small marks on her and as told me that in the following days some marks bruise up and she can explain them away as this and that. It will happen in what we are doing and she is aware of that, as am I, but my task is to not mark her in drastic ways. She is very fair skinned and marks/brusies very easily. It took us a few scenes to work out just what will mark her and how bad and I will say that she can not be flogged, caned, tied or spanked/hit (i.e. breasts) without her marking badly.
I've been enjoying the challenge and restriction though. It's forced me to become more creative in many ways and move out of areas that I know well (such as floggers, canes and rope bondage) and into new, somewhat more subtle areas, that don't mark her body in overly obvious ways.
Over our past couple months I have come to focus on the following, non-marking forms of pain giving;
-foot caning/flogging. While said tools do mark the soles of her fit slightly it's an area that is hard to really mark on someone and even then is easily explained away. Rubber bands and the like have also been used on her feet.
-wooden clothespins. The old staple, yes? These are mainly used on her nipples, ears, genitals...areas that will redden and will mark slightly but to the untrained eye are not overly obvious.
-Genital torture. Again flogging/caning on her vagina and said senstive flesh. Same as above. I also including nipple pinching here.
-Mental control. Sensory depravation and the like. We trust one another and this is an area I enjoy greatly. She has been enjoying it thus far but has admited she craves more physical pain.
-Fisting/stretching...of her vagina and anus. Done with toys or hands. I only mention this outside of genital torture so it's not mentioned again.
-Spanking. her ass can take some up to a certian point, though not far enough where it even remotely nears her limit anymore.
-Breath control/choking. The first is done with hand over mouth, ball gags and gags and even simply telling her to hold her breath. The choking aspect is done in moderation as she does mark slightly from my hand if pressed. Simple things such as a pillow over her face as she is getting fucked have been done as well (which she said she enjoys very much). Choking is something I know well and can do without having to pressure her skin too much.
-Hair Pulling. It has it's place, she has long hair which is fun, but one can only go so far with this.
-Slapping. Her face can take alot. Though the types of slapping used are more to get her attention when she is to focus on something.
-Balance and Muscle fatigue. As in, giving her a position to maintain while i enjoy her suffering from her muscles tensing and such. She is athletic, as am I, so this is am area we both greatly like. I like the visual aspects of her suffering. She enjoys seeing what she can do and being pushed passed areas she though she couldn't go past (but that is also a big picture thing).
-Gagging. Deep throating and throat fucking. Areas she wanted to explore and I have shown her where they go. She has admitted she likes them and I will say she is a champ at how much of this she can take.
I have some additional room to play in the areas I descibed above but will admit that I am coming to an end of my own ideas.
So I ask you all. What other types of pain giving/SM play ideas could people come up with that most likely won't end in heavy marking. Marks like what a flogger or cane or ropes would leave on her body?
Ideas?
Thank you all for any help ahead of time.
Last edited:
There is a certain someone I don't want to read some of your posts...this one included. 
