Give som feedback please on my Disney sex story please!

[fifi]

Give som feedback please!

Could you give some feedback on my story 'The Bigger They Are, The Louder They Squeak'?
I always use the English spell check with my Microsoft Word 97 program, but it doesn't seem to work at all.
This story is based upon Disney's 'The Junglebook' (Animated)
I have written many English languaged cartoon fetish/sex stories the last two years, I have posted some on Fanfiction.net, and I hope this is one of my better stories.
Here is the adress:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=52435

I live in Denmark, and I'm not so good at writing English languaged stories, so don't flame

 

[the_bragis]

Mmmm fifi,

I'm sorry but I didn't really like this story. It's riddled with spelling and grammatical errors, making it difficult to read, and it's just not my thing.

English is not your first language, however there is an Dane editor listed here in Lit who can help you. 'sorry I can't remember his/her name.

I haven't come across this type of story before. I guess for me Mogli will always be an eight year old boy straight out of RK's novel. For me anyway sex and Mogli just don't mx.

Your story for me anyway, was short, but not sweet.

'sorry, but you did ask for feedback. Have a good day.

Alex (fem)

 

[DannyBoyUK]

Other than that, excellent !

 

[DannyBoyUK]

(not being sarcastic)

 

[NoJo]

Balloon Girl

Fifi, I have to make this quick, World Cup Final in 10 minutes!

After reading this story and your other stories a strange thing's happening -- I'm getting a balloon fetish - My favourite colour is pale green, standard shape. I just need to hear them squeak.

I really think you're very original, something that's so hard to be in this field.


Keep writing!


Gooooooooooaaaaaaallllll!