Girlfriend's sister comes home late to find

[DuxRyu]

xxxxxx

xxxxx

 

[AsylumSeeker]

Have you ever heard of paragraphs~ I can't get my arms around this one as is.

 

[fieryjen]

It seems like you've already got an outline of the story written, and quite a few details too - that would be tough as it is very confining for an author to take something like this on.

Have you considered writing it yourself? You seem to be on the right track.

Agreeing with AS as well here - this is tough to read, the way you've written it. Paragraphs are your friend.

 

[Carnevil9]

I kept wondering, where is the Girlfriend all this time? Why are you sleeping at her house, but not with her?

 

[snooper]

I kept wondering, where is the Girlfriend all this time? Why are you sleeping at her house, but not with her?

She is in her bedroom. Her parents are strict, "Not under my roof," types.