Ghosted by writers asking for editors

[CiaoSteve]

Wonder if I'm the only one to have noticed this. Recently I have responded to four different writers who have asked for help with editing. We got as far as talking about how to share the story (my preference for short stories is that the text is sent by mail) and then the conversation goes dead as if being ghosted by the writer. I get it if the writer has found somebody else, but courtesy would be just to say so. I really don't mind as it is one less job for me to do and I can concentrate on my own musings, but I do wonder how many of those asking for editors are really interested in engaging, You see so many posts complaining about the lack of editors but actually sometimes I seem to find the opposite. Am I the only volunteer editor feeling this way?

 

[challenger69]

Most certainly not, I've had it a few times as well.

 

[jsmiam]

They still should say thanks but no thanks, obviously.

Here’s a possibility though: it could be people who don’t want to share their email address, although ironically (digressing a bit) they might end up seeing yours (or your screen/account name) if they share their story via whatever online service they might prefer use, and you have to have an account to get to their shared file. Methods and privacy revelations (to the viewer) vary and change over time too. Sharing is tricky!

Another possibility, not that I’m saying you are, just tossing out possibilities, could you be coming across in a way you don’t intend or realize, perhaps sounding overly bossy or insistent on your way or the highway, or like someone too eager to get an email address?

It’s tricky both ways. A final possibility is they hadn’t thought that far ahead on how to share, and abandoned wanting an editor once they saw the complexities.

I’ll repeat, I agree with you that they shouldn’t ghost. Sadly we must all lower our expectations when dealing with others.

 

[CiaoSteve]

They still should say thanks but no thanks, obviously.

Here’s a possibility though: it could be people who don’t want to share their email address, although ironically (digressing a bit) they might end up seeing yours (or your screen/account name) if they share their story via whatever online service they might prefer use, and you have to have an account to get to their shared file. Methods and privacy revelations (to the viewer) vary and change over time too. Sharing is tricky!

Another possibility, not that I’m saying you are, just tossing out possibilities, could you be coming across in a way you don’t intend or realize, perhaps sounding overly bossy or insistent on your way or the highway, or like someone too eager to get an email address?

It’s tricky both ways. A final possibility is they hadn’t thought that far ahead on how to share, and abandoned wanting an editor once they saw the complexities.

I’ll repeat, I agree with you that they shouldn’t ghost. Sadly we must all lower our expectations when dealing with others.

Fair point @jsmiam

 

[ashbb]

(my preference for short stories is that the text is sent by mail)

Do you prefer mail (as you wrote) or email? Mail would be very creepy, mixing them up would be concerning.

Finally, if multiple people ghost you, maybe there's something that you do. You should think over how you come across.

 

[CiaoSteve]

Cool . . . thanks @ashbb . . . maybe you are right and it is how I come across (and mail was e-mail and my slip of being precise) . . . if there's a next time, I'll see if there is a different approach

No need for any further replies on the thread

 

[AlinaX]

I’m comfortable with Google docs. I have once or twice done an e-mail transfer, but it makes me anxious.

 

[Husky_Embrace]

This breaks my heart a little. You're offering a service. Regardless how you present yourself to other people, unless you do something really bad or weird it would be customary to finish the exchange neatly. It is common courtesy.

And as I've tried to get an editor twice and gotten no responses as of yet, I feel the luxury of having one should be appreciated, even if for whatever reason you stop wanting the editor.

 

[challenger69]

This breaks my heart a little. You're offering a service. Regardless how you present yourself to other people, unless you do something really bad or weird it would be customary to finish the exchange neatly. It is common courtesy.

And as I've tried to get an editor twice and gotten no responses as of yet, I feel the luxury of having one should be appreciated, even if for whatever reason you stop wanting the editor.

I'll have a look at your stories, I'm available.

 

[Husky_Embrace]

I'll have a look at your stories, I'm available.

Thanks! I'll come back to it as soon as I'm able. Both because I do not know if the two stories I tried to get an editor for were deleted when we tried to resuscitate my old phone, as well as a major life change that will keep me busy for the next few weeks. Don't wait up. We'll talk later and see if you still have time/energy/are excited enough for those stories.

One is a hypnosis story.

 

[MissMandy86]

I have a couple true stories I need help with. My grammer and spelling are awful. Would love if you could show me why and how ..

 

[challenger69]

I have a couple true stories I need help with. My grammer and spelling are awful. Would love if you could show me why and how ..

You can PM me.

 

[dz2681]

I have a couple true stories I need help with. My grammer and spelling are awful. Would love if you could show me why and how ..

Any chance of a hint of what they might be about?

 

[MissMandy86]

Any chance of a hint of what they might be about?

I grew up with .. a lot of sexual abuse .. years..
When i finally ran away I ended up deep in addiction and the ugly side of prostitution.

 

[IAmHerEmma]

I'm sorry to hear that. I saw your profile I think for editing and i am not sure but I didn't send you a message. Plus even if I tried i had already contacted a couple of people and then apparently it wouldn't allow me to send messages to anyone else and gave me a too many requests error which is annoying because in the past when I contacted people under my different pen name it was never like this.

 

[CiaoSteve]

I'm sorry to hear that. I saw your profile I think for editing and i am not sure but I didn't send you a message. Plus even if I tried i had already contacted a couple of people and then apparently it wouldn't allow me to send messages to anyone else and gave me a too many requests error which is annoying because in the past when I contacted people under my different pen name it was never like this.

Do you want to send me a message through Lit with some details on what you are looking for? Genre, length, what you want from an editor etc?

 

[IAmHerEmma]

Do you want to send me a message through Lit with some details on what you are looking for? Genre, length, what you want from an editor etc?

i have clicked on your profile and sent you a message.

 

[OralDave]

I have a couple true stories I need help with. My grammer and spelling are awful. Would love if you could show me why and how ..

I imagine you've gotten suggestions by now. I'd like to read your stories!

 

[SkyBubble]

This breaks my heart a little. You're offering a service. Regardless how you present yourself to other people, unless you do something really bad or weird it would be customary to finish the exchange neatly. It is common courtesy.

And as I've tried to get an editor twice and gotten no responses as of yet, I feel the luxury of having one should be appreciated, even if for whatever reason you stop wanting the editor.

I'd be happy to look at your stories.