Getting Sober

[haldir]

No doubt lots of you will think I have some nerve starting this thread - but I don't think there is a better time to do this.

I have been trying to get clean for almost a year and I am finding it increasingly hard.

The first three months were soooo easy. Then I slipped. Felt bad, beat myself up - but climbed back on the wagon.

Then came xmas - decided that I'd done so well thatbI deserved some time off.

NIGHTMARE CITY!

I had my kids coming to stay and I had fallen and had a face like Mr Tyson had played with it for a while.

This is when I started to lie again. Needed my kids to stay so told them about the fall but left the booze out.

xmas was great but the evil worm was well established.

Since then I have done OK but about once a month I have let it all go to shit.

Today I woke up, unable to remember anything after lunchtime yesterday and I have decided that I don't want to do this any more.

Lots of excuses for why I lose it - major work stress (I am self employed), ex being difficult etc etc etc, But the bottom line is that I chose to be a drunk.

But today I finally chose not to be a drunk anymore.

Wish me luck my friends.

 

[havtime4u2000]

you can do this

You can do this
You can do this.
If you just make it up in your mind to quit you can.
I was a drunk and the reason I quit is because I use to never drive or get in trouble.
But I woke up with me baby in my arms and having no idea where I had been and I was getting bad for fighting.
This was a real wake up for me but you need your own wake up call.
You don't have to have a wake up call all you need for a reason to quit is because you want to.
You will remember every thing better, things like, your kids birthday, graduations, and the drunks at last nights party.
QUIT FOR YOURSELF.
QUIT FOR YOU.
Ken
havtime4u

 

[Guest]

Strength to you.

 

[rgraham666]

If my ex, who did what you described pretty much every day, can do it, so can you.

Sending strength to you, buddy.

 

[SemiColon]

My demons may not be yours, but they are there none the less. you will do this, because you have to. If you need help you know where to find it, I'm sure. But you are ready to put yourself first and do what needs to be done to regain yourself. You will do it. And it will be so worth it.

 

[glynndah]

You can do this. If you need an encouraging word or just a little distraction, feel free to leave me a message.

A from the good little witch.

 

[The_Fool]

Best wishes to you on this my friend. I think I speak for all of us, if you need somebody to help you say no, come on here and post it. There are plenty of people here that will help.

If you are still having difficulty with it, then seek the help. There are so many agencies and people out there that WANT to help people get sober and stay that way. It is not a matter of you not being strong enough to stop, it is a matter of needing someone there to help you stay honest with yourself.

 

[Chantilyvamp]

All the best darlin!

 

[OhMissScarlett]

No doubt lots of you will think I have some nerve starting this thread - but I don't think there is a better time to do this.

I have been trying to get clean for almost a year and I am finding it increasingly hard.

The first three months were soooo easy. Then I slipped. Felt bad, beat myself up - but climbed back on the wagon.

Then came xmas - decided that I'd done so well thatbI deserved some time off.

NIGHTMARE CITY!

I had my kids coming to stay and I had fallen and had a face like Mr Tyson had played with it for a while.

This is when I started to lie again. Needed my kids to stay so told them about the fall but left the booze out.

xmas was great but the evil worm was well established.

Since then I have done OK but about once a month I have let it all go to shit.

Today I woke up, unable to remember anything after lunchtime yesterday and I have decided that I don't want to do this any more.

Lots of excuses for why I lose it - major work stress (I am self employed), ex being difficult etc etc etc, But the bottom line is that I chose to be a drunk.

But today I finally chose not to be a drunk anymore.

Wish me luck my friends.

*hugs* Choosing to quit is a huge step in the process, but don't be afraid to reach out to an AA group in your area. They can help support you so much. My SO has been sober for eighteen years and openly admits he struggled a lot trying to quit on his own before he got into AA.

 

[DesertPirate]

The only person you can do it for is the one in the mirror. Make that one happy and the rest is easy. Check out AA there are some groups that are very upbeat about all the positives. Some just want to beat themselves up forever, run from them.

 

[jomar]

...But the bottom line is that I chose to be a drunk.

But today I finally chose not to be a drunk anymore.

I disagree with your first sentence. Alcoholism is a disease, and it can grab you hard or sneak up on you.

I do agree with your second sentence. All the best to you. And we're here to support you.

 

[Recidiva]

Good luck.

There are some doors in the mind you just can't close once they're open.

You can't really close them, but what you can do is deal with everything that spills out. It's hard.

Remember that every day is a new chance to win that fight.

It's hard, but it's a good fight. You won't always win. What matters is being willing to get back up every day and fight again, even if you lost yesterday.

It's not an on or off button. It's really like taking a bath every day. Your mind has to be cleared every day and you can't let the accumulation of grime get to you.

If it does, start over.

It can be done, just don't fool yourself into thinking it should be easy or will be easy. It's always going to be hard and you need to take pride in the fight and in the maintenance of your thoughts and actions. Forgive yourself for being imperfect in striving and in failing to strive.

 

[oggbashan]

Good luck, Haldir, and my best wishes.

Og

 

[MagicaPractica]

Best wishes Please do reach out for the help you need. There's so much more to battling an addiction than just muscling through. We have to learn to replace the bad things with something good, or it will be even more of a battle than it already is.

 

[where]

Stay strong and when the going gets tough, butch it out. Get some buddies on side close to you as well. AA s very good for helping people through it. And you can meet some nice interesting people there too!

 

[TE999]

One day at a time haldir, one day at a time being sober until it becomes your life.

As others have said, you are afflicted with a disease and you need to seek help to stay strong when the need overwhelms you.

You can always come here for support if needs be.

Good luck in your quest for sobriety.

 

[impressive]

Lots of excuses for why I lose it - major work stress (I am self employed), ex being difficult etc etc etc, But the bottom line is that I chose to be a drunk.

But today I finally chose not to be a drunk anymore.

Wish me luck my friends.

"Luck" has nothing to do with it. The strength of your character will beat it, and I have every confidence in that strength.

And you're right. It's all about choice.

I'm proud of you!

 

[R. Richard]

It's a steep hill to climb. You have to climb it one slow step at a time and you have to climb it every day.

You can do it. It's very difficult, but you can do it!

 

[Liar]

Best of luck, friend. I'm afraid I don't have any more words of wisdom than that. But you seem to be well aware of what you need to do.

 

[Tricialen]

I wish you well. You can find an inner strength deep inside yourself. When you forgive yourself and love yourself, you will find that strength to take one second at a time.

 

[3113]

Haldir, what help are you getting? You don't say. I hope you're not trying to do this all on your own Please don't. You don't get better from an illness by nursing yourself, you get better by going to a doctor and getting his professional advice and help. You need AA at least, help from those who know what you're going through from the inside and can help guide.

Please tell us that you are going to meetings and have a sponsor, because however much you think you really mean it, and that this is real, it's not if you're not in some sort of program or AA group.

And I'm sorry to tell you, but you probably didn't fool your kids at Xmas.

 

[cloudy]

If you ever need an ear, a shoulder, whatever, PM me. I've dealt with alcoholics all my life, and I understand.

You can do this.

 

[Quiet_Cool]

I can feel you Haldir. I'm going through something similar as well. Quitting drinking isn't an easy thing to do, and I know it first hand. Something I find useful, not necessarily in this case, as I'm in the earlier stages (as in the "contemplation stage," where I know I need to stop, but I have yet to find the right distraction and make things start to happen)but Ive found when I have any bad pattern to correct, the best route is usually to go back and do some analysis: "Why did I start?" And: "Is this still motivating me?" And if not: "What is motivating it, aside from addiction?"

I'm mulling these things over, and when introspection is most needed, it's hard to dig deep enough to find the answers. If there's a problem and the drinking is merely a manifestation, as is usually the case when I have problems, working on a solution to the problem itself will most likely be of great assistance.

Just my .02

Q_C

 

[Quiet_Cool]

If you ever need an ear, a shoulder, whatever, PM me. I've dealt with alcoholics all my life, and I understand.

You can do this.

Actually, if that offer's universal, I could use a ... well, nevermind. Probably not what you meant.



Q_C

 

[English Lady]

*hugs* Haldir -you CAN do it and you will, I know it. Just keep on keeping on. take care.