Getting bored with Lit?

[Disturbingimage]

Ya me, So i join Lit about 2 months ago with hopes of finding some interesting people to chat with and exchange stories. Maybe meet so new friends or online friends and see what happens. (i have no desire for hook ups). Right away i was like oh cool there is threads about everything including things i can't generally talk about.(1st couple posts). But I just dont seem to connect with the people on here for some reason. maybe its the desperation in my posts that scream i just want someone to chat with or my offensive nature either way i have only manged to chat with a few people. Ive RP a couple times and chatted with a few women and men but not about anything worth wild. Anyways my point is i was curious if other people have had a hard time connecting and got to the point where its like why bother posting another ad? i see a bunch of lets just chat posts with no replies, seems like most of us are looking for the same yet can't find someone to chat with. thoughts?

 

[Jada59]

Ya me, So i join Lit about 2 months ago with hopes of finding some interesting people to chat with and exchange stories. Maybe meet so new friends or online friends and see what happens. (i have no desire for hook ups). Right away i was like oh cool there is threads about everything including things i can't generally talk about.(1st couple posts). But I just dont seem to connect with the people on here for some reason. maybe its the desperation in my posts that scream i just want someone to chat with or my offensive nature either way i have only manged to chat with a few people. Ive RP a couple times and chatted with a few women and men but not about anything worth wild. Anyways my point is i was curious if other people have had a hard time connecting and got to the point where its like why bother posting another ad? i see a bunch of lets just chat posts with no replies, seems like most of us are looking for the same yet can't find someone to chat with. thoughts?

I'm not looking for someone to chat with as I already chat with plenty of people here but your post was very rambling and poorly written. Maybe English is a second language for you? I'm not trying to insult you. I just found it had to follow because of the way it was written. Could well be that. And if you truly do have an offensive nature, it could be that.

 

[sneb]

Ya me, So i join Lit about 2 months ago with hopes of finding some interesting people to chat with and exchange stories. Maybe meet so new friends or online friends and see what happens. (i have no desire for hook ups). Right away i was like oh cool there is threads about everything including things i can't generally talk about.(1st couple posts). But I just dont seem to connect with the people on here for some reason. maybe its the desperation in my posts that scream i just want someone to chat with or my offensive nature either way i have only manged to chat with a few people. Ive RP a couple times and chatted with a few women and men but not about anything worth wild. Anyways my point is i was curious if other people have had a hard time connecting and got to the point where its like why bother posting another ad? i see a bunch of lets just chat posts with no replies, seems like most of us are looking for the same yet can't find someone to chat with. thoughts?

I can sense frustration ( I could be wrong though ) but that is well placed and surely makes sense. But you have to see where we are, this is a cyber-platform. And I would have been surprised if it were any easy. I have also had good conversations and bad conversations, great RP's as well as crappy failed chats. But I can tell you, that patience and involving yourself in the whole of the forum is the key. Be yourself, as well as find out what you are good at, which aspect at erotica( and also non-erotica ) you excel, use it to push your identity and establish a sense of belonging. That is when the you would feel at home.

I am newer at this than you, so take whatever I saying with a pinch of salt, lemon and vodka!!!! Cheers!

S.

 

[formertroll]

here's a few ideas:

1. put in a signature. that way you can have links to posts or quotes or some other way for people to see whatever you think is most important about you.

2. participate in the playground (or GB if you're a masochist). pick a thread of someone interesting and comment and then just talk to them in public, others will see it and then as you participate in other threads they will see the multiple facets of whoever you are.

3. enjoy yourself. if you're looking for friends find someone who seems to be looking for friends and PM them: "hey, looks like you could use a friend, would you like to chat a bit?" and see where it goes. most people are responsive to give you at least a chance to share about yourself and what you're about. you might not match, in fact you won't match everyone, just share who you are, tell stories, listen and you're golden.

4. a guy on the DD/LG thread said it took him 3 years and 4,000 posts to find the right person. idk if i'd have that much patience, but really, even in two months you can't expect too much in this kind of setting.

 

[Disturbingimage]

Great Advice

thanks for the advice. No english is not a second language for me. i spent a few years texting everyone, everything, so once i got on here i've been trying to adjust. ya most of my posts look rambled and thats because i write while at work and usually get interupted then think of something that could have been said previously so i insert it. Kind of noticable. Ironicly in real life im a very nice person but online weather its here or FB i come off as offensive and erogant. thanks for your input ill try to remember.

 

[Disturbingimage]

More good advice.

Thanks again to the other replies. i guess i didnt really think about it til i seen a few people with 1000's of post but i understand it could take time to really meet someone to connect with. i have less than 100 so i should work on patients and find people closer to what im interested in. My GF calls me "Daddy" so i tried that threat but just felt all wrong and now im stuck with those in my post history. anyways thx for the advice guys and gals. hope your searches find something faster than i did. still tryin to decide is CL bot replies are better than Lit no replies. Just kidding. thanks have a nice day.

 

[Jada59]

Thanks again to the other replies. i guess i didnt really think about it til i seen a few people with 1000's of post but i understand it could take time to really meet someone to connect with. i have less than 100 so i should work on patients and find people closer to what im interested in. My GF calls me "Daddy" so i tried that threat but just felt all wrong and now im stuck with those in my post history. anyways thx for the advice guys and gals. hope your searches find something faster than i did. still tryin to decide is CL bot replies are better than Lit no replies. Just kidding. thanks have a nice day.

Part of the problem for me is your spelling, grammar and lack of proper capitalization. Perhaps this is because I'm a writer. I can excuse a few mistakes, particularly in the throes of passion. But if there are too many, my mind sort of shuts down and I don't want to read any more.

The use of the term "Daddy" seems to be a common on here. It's not something I'm into but again, in the throes of passion, I can excuse it now and then. Heck, I even startle myself sometimes with what I say when I am really turned on.

I think you and I are coming from two different perspectives in that I'm not looking for someone but I sure have found a lot of wonderful people here! I mainly came here to write but I also love playing on the boards. Particularly The Playground.

 

[LadyJS]

I'm like Jada59 in that if I see too many grammatical and spelling errors in a posting, I just blow past it onto the next message. A couple I can ignore, but if they're overwhelming, I'm gone.

You mentioned that you write while at work and get interrupted. If that's the case, wait until you get home where that's less likely to happen. That way you can formulate your thoughts and make a more coherent posting. And patience is a virtue, more so here on Lit if you're trying to connect with someone, even if it isn't for a hook-up. The fact that you're asking shows that you're looking to improve your lot here on Lit, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I wish you all the best!

 

[Pawleys16]

Thanks again to the other replies. i guess i didnt really think about it til i seen a few people with 1000's of post but i understand it could take time to really meet someone to connect with. i have less than 100 so i should work on patients and find people closer to what im interested in. My GF calls me "Daddy" so i tried that threat but just felt all wrong and now im stuck with those in my post history. anyways thx for the advice guys and gals. hope your searches find something faster than i did. still tryin to decide is CL bot replies are better than Lit no replies. Just kidding. thanks have a nice day.

Understand your issue and I don’t disagree with your issue. What I think is reflective of your issue and the internet world in general is that the responses you received were predominately critical of your grammar and your typing skills. The world has decided that the only way to be is critical - even when critical is exactly the opposite way to respond. I know - my grammar sucks and my tpying (done on purpose) sucks so I will quietly shrink into the corner and watch the English teachers take over -no real help to your situation but sure makes them feel the power of knowledge.

 

[AlwaysFara]

Find your interest and go to that Forum.
I’m mostly in BDSM, that’s where I made friends with most of the people in my life, because we have lots to talk about.
The PG is good as well, but there are a lot of inside jokes that may be frustrating for a newb.

 

[Disturbingimage]

I'm like Jada59 in that if I see too many grammatical and spelling errors in a posting, I just blow past it onto the next message. A couple I can ignore, but if they're overwhelming, I'm gone.

You mentioned that you write while at work and get interrupted. If that's the case, wait until you get home where that's less likely to happen. That way you can formulate your thoughts and make a more coherent posting. And patience is a virtue, more so here on Lit if you're trying to connect with someone, even if it isn't for a hook-up. The fact that you're asking shows that you're looking to improve your lot here on Lit, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I wish you all the best!

Ok so let me get this straight... it is wrong to judge someone based on their looks and not the person inside? But its ok to judge someone by the use of their words (grammer/spelling) not the intent behind them? That messed up
Looks can be improved and faked with exercise and grooming. Writing can be improved by experience, spell check and learning. How are they different? What makes what superfiscial thing you judge someone by better then the next person? Kind of joking but kind of serious. Thanks for your advice though, gave me a lot to think about.

 

[sneb]

Ok so let me get this straight... it is wrong to judge someone based on their looks and not the person inside? But its ok to judge someone by the use of their words (grammer/spelling) not the intent behind them? That messed up
Looks can be improved and faked with exercise and grooming. Writing can be improved by experience, spell check and learning. How are they different? What makes what superfiscial thing you judge someone by better then the next person? Kind of joking but kind of serious. Thanks for your advice though, gave me a lot to think about.

My two cents would be that, writing can be improved to any extent that you would want to. But looks, beyond a certain point can not be worked on, much. You can groom yourself, but can you change the shape of your nose ? or the color of your skin? or the shape of your chin? People try to change all of this and that is not something we should do, in my opinion. People go to extreme cosmetic alterations which fuck them up even more.
Hence, the thing that looks can not be helped much beyond being healthy and fit.

 

[KrazieKat69]

I’m right there with ya!! I’ve had a few people that I’ve chatted with for a few months but don’t anymore, not sure why. I chat with one person now when we have the time to say hi. I’m to the point where I don’t know if I should try anymore as it goes to the first message and that’s it. Im a nice guy irl and maybe that’s why ladies here don’t want to have a conversation with me, maybe they want the bad boy attitude? Lol, not sure what it is but anymore I just come on and read the posts and answers back the one lady I chat with and gone. I’ll drop a post here and there on the threads but not many...

 

[glBock]

Ok so let me get this straight... it is wrong to judge someone based on their looks and not the person inside? But its ok to judge someone by the use of their words (grammer/spelling) not the intent behind them? That messed up
Looks can be improved and faked with exercise and grooming. Writing can be improved by experience, spell check and learning. How are they different? What makes what superfiscial thing you judge someone by better then the next person? Kind of joking but kind of serious. Thanks for your advice though, gave me a lot to think about.

Image, I can understand your frustrations. some of my earliest posts contained quite a few of mine also. Yet you need to taka Jada and JS seriously, when they tell you that a man who is too lazy to correct his spelling errors is not very appealing to them, and maybe not to many other women also. Maybe he does not clean his fingernails either? Or does not take care of his dog properly.

For me English IS my second language, and I still manage to write half ways understandably. This site is called LITerotica, after all. And I recall a woman who knows how to express herself, using the term Literosexual occasionally.

So I suggest you learn how to write, it would probably help you regarding other endeavors in life as well. Or you visit the "Show & Tell" Forums exclusively, but for those you need appealing pictures of yourself.

Good luck to you! At least you are not as old as I am yet, so you got plenty of time for learning.
.

 

[est_1984]

here's a few ideas:

1. put in a signature. that way you can have links to posts or quotes or some other way for people to see whatever you think is most important about you.

2. participate in the playground (or GB if you're a masochist). pick a thread of someone interesting and comment and then just talk to them in public, others will see it and then as you participate in other threads they will see the multiple facets of whoever you are.

3. enjoy yourself. if you're looking for friends find someone who seems to be looking for friends and PM them: "hey, looks like you could use a friend, would you like to chat a bit?" and see where it goes. most people are responsive to give you at least a chance to share about yourself and what you're about. you might not match, in fact you won't match everyone, just share who you are, tell stories, listen and you're golden.

4. a guy on the DD/LG thread said it took him 3 years and 4,000 posts to find the right person. idk if i'd have that much patience, but really, even in two months you can't expect too much in this kind of setting.

This here is some good advice, and it's also something I was told might help when I was in your situation. In some ways I still am. When I get too frustrated with Lit I always take an extended break, maybe this is something that might help you? Personally, I haven't found many people that I have hit it off with and the conversation NOT fizzle out, and honestly I haven't made any true friendships. But I can't say it's mine or the other persons fault because sometimes you just either click or you dont. This shouldn't stop you from trying though.

And yes the other issue is that there are a ton of guys here! Sometimes I've been dubious as to who I'm really talking too (even though I will talk to anyone as long as they're upfront). But I figure that just means you have to put in extra effort to meet a lovely lady... And if it's one thing I know, any lady worth talking to will be worth the effort too.

In any case, there's been loads of response to this thread so at least you managed to stir some conversation... And see, all because you were passionate about this subject.

Good day to all!

 

[Disturbingimage]

Wow

Image, I can understand your frustrations. some of my earliest posts contained quite a few of mine also. Yet you need to taka Jada and JS seriously, when they tell you that a man who is too lazy to correct his spelling errors is not very appealing to them, and maybe not to many other women also. Maybe he does not clean his fingernails either? Or does not take care of his dog properly.

For me English IS my second language, and I still manage to write half ways understandably. This site is called LITerotica, after all. And I recall a woman who knows how to express herself, using the term Literosexual occasionally.

So I suggest you learn how to write, it would probably help you regarding other endeavors in life as well. Or you visit the "Show & Tell" Forums exclusively, but for those you need appealing pictures of yourself.

Good luck to you! At least you are not as old as I am yet, so you got plenty of time for learning.
.

"Learn how to write" Seriously dude? You don't know me or anything i do in life. i'm bored at work (in Aerospace industry) so i found a site that i can chat about sex or anything else. I'm the guy the replies to your misspelled text with the proper spelling yet got told too many times "dude i dont care how to spell it you know what i mean." I've taken writing classes far beyond most users on Lit but why should i exert that much thought? BTW "taka" ya check your spelling. So someone can be like Oh that not the right context. or that was too many commas. Its not worth that much effort sorry. If that means i should find a new site then maybe i should but damn people. Anyone who didnt insult me thanks for the advice. You people keep me on this site and have helped me with my vocab. Opps VOCABULARY. make sure i spelleded right.

 

[glBock]

"Learn how to write" Seriously dude? You don't know me or anything i do in life. i'm bored at work (in Aerospace industry) so i found a site that i can chat about sex or anything else. I'm the guy the replies to your misspelled text with the proper spelling yet got told too many times "dude i dont care how to spell it you know what i mean." I've taken writing classes far beyond most users on Lit but why should i exert that much thought? BTW "taka" ya check your spelling. So someone can be like Oh that not the right context. or that was too many commas. Its not worth that much effort sorry. If that means i should find a new site then maybe i should but damn people. Anyone who didnt insult me thanks for the advice. You people keep me on this site and have helped me with my vocab. Opps VOCABULARY. make sure i spelleded right.

Too bad all these writing classes you took do not show up in your public texts on Lit yet.

Writing is not only about commas and spelling, you know.

 

[Disturbingimage]

Too bad all these writing classes you took do not show up in your public texts on Lit yet.

Writing is not only about commas and spelling, you know.

Such a joke....
Those not these. Those classes iI took not these classes I'm taking. At least use the proper wording when correcting me. Thanks

 

[LadyJS]

Ok so let me get this straight... it is wrong to judge someone based on their looks and not the person inside? But its ok to judge someone by the use of their words (grammer/spelling) not the intent behind them? That messed up
Looks can be improved and faked with exercise and grooming. Writing can be improved by experience, spell check and learning. How are they different? What makes what superfiscial thing you judge someone by better then the next person? Kind of joking but kind of serious. Thanks for your advice though, gave me a lot to think about.

I don't equate it to someone's looks. Rather, I think of it as someone trying to make an impression on another, say on a first date, or a job interview. If you look outside of this thread, you'll see a shit load of other ads from lots of other guys looking for the same or similar thing as you, and more every single day. If an ad has poor grammar/spelling, I'm not going to think to myself "This guy's a fucking idiot!" Rather, "I don't have the patience for this. Let me see what else is out there."

My opinion: the forums on Lit aren't necessarily about being a master wordsmith. Most people aren't expecting you to be Dickens or Shakespeare. But it is all about communicating with the written word. I'm stating the obvious, but if you spend time on here you're going to read. A lot! I post mainly in the Playground, but I read a lot of the other areas because I'm interested in what people have to say. And if I run across what I consider a poorly written opening post of a thread, I'm going to hop over it to the next thread. There's only so much time in the day, and I only spend a short time out of that day on here. Is it my loss if I miss something special in an otherwise poorly written message? Maybe. Is it a shortcoming of mine? Could be. Think of me what you will.

 

[ashesatwork]

ive thought about this for a minute. to be honest ive let lit help make me who ive always known i am for years.

ive met some of the best people i know on lit. even if i dont talk to some of those people anymore. most i dont talk to on lit anymore or at least have other avenues to do so.

i have let some see aside of me people have known me for 30+ years dont know

ive had some deep online and in person relationships that help mold me to a better me.

ive met some of my lit friends to just be normal and real.

i never have great grammer
ive fallen in love
ive enjoyed dick pics
ive bitched about douche bags and bitches
ive slobbered over tits
ive wrote stories
ive played games
ive wondered into debates

ive just been me.

i dont hate me. but real life cant handle me.
here...i get to just enjoy life like i enjoy

you make lit for you. thats it.

13 years on and off ...18k posts..
do you

 

[Disturbingimage]

Good stuff

Thank you to the last 2 posts. They both helped. I can understand first impressions needing to be spot on when you are trying to stand out in crowd. I get lazy in my writing and it's perfectly understandable that someone who prides themself on their writing would get annoyed reading something scrambled and poorly spelled. I'm an Artist not a writer so things come to me a lil different. I think my biggest issue was and is that i assumed it would be real easy to chat with people similar to CL. Not so much here which is fine. Someone else said something about anyone worth talking to wouldn't be easy to find which i can see why they think that way. Anyways without really trying I've had this conversation with you nice people(except that one Dbag)and gained some insight. So thanks again.

 

[Littletoo]

I'm like Jada59 in that if I see too many grammatical and spelling errors in a posting, I just blow past it onto the next message. A couple I can ignore, but if they're overwhelming, I'm gone.

You mentioned that you write while at work and get interrupted. If that's the case, wait until you get home where that's less likely to happen. That way you can formulate your thoughts and make a more coherent posting. And patience is a virtue, more so here on Lit if you're trying to connect with someone, even if it isn't for a hook-up. The fact that you're asking shows that you're looking to improve your lot here on Lit, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I wish you all the best!

I agree! My name is Jamie. A well-written post is much more likely to attract my attention.

Here's why:

Imagine you're in a motel watching a pornvid. On this particular shoot the Focus Puller gets into the meth and gets way messed up. He confuses inches and centimeters and sets up all the shots wrong. Everything is fuzzy and out of focus.

You can still see what's happening, right? You know that big fuzzy blob in the middle going up and down is the guy's ass and you know he's pounding the girl somewhere on the bed. It's not like you can't piece together what's happening. It's just not thst easy to fap to. I bet you flip the channel.

"Photography" is how you write with light to make a pornvid.

"Orthography," (a sapiosexual word meaning spelling and grammar) is how you write with words to make a post.

Don't let your writing be all out of focus. Don't make the girl of your wet-dreams guess who the blobs are or what they are doing. Don't make her flip the channel on you.

Best of Luck!

Jamie

 

[Disturbingimage]

I agree! My name is Jamie. A well-written post is much more likely to attract my attention.

Here's why:

Imagine you're in a motel watching a pornvid. On this particular shoot the Focus Puller gets into the meth and gets way messed up. He confuses inches and centimeters and sets up all the shots wrong. Everything is fuzzy and out of focus.

You can still see what's happening, right? You know that big fuzzy blob in the middle going up and down is the guy's ass and you know he's pounding the girl somewhere on the bed. It's not like you can't piece together what's happening. It's just not thst easy to fap to. I bet you flip the channel.

"Photography" is how you write with light to make a pornvid.

"Orthography," (a sapiosexual word meaning spelling and grammar) is how you write with words to make a post.

Don't let your writing be all out of focus. Don't make the girl of your wet-dreams guess who the blobs are or what they are doing. Don't make her flip the channel on you.

Best of Luck!

Jamie

Thanks Best advice so far. Not that everyone else's wasn't great too but that was really well put. You really painted a picture that is easy to relate to so thanks.

 

[HelpImLost]

Numerous people have agreed with me that the playground is full of bullies and cliques. Maybe that's why you're so bored, I certainly was!

The GB is far more fun!!!

I hope you find all the friendship you seek, God bless you sweetie.

 

[Disturbingimage]

Numerous people have agreed with me that the playground is full of bullies and cliques. Maybe that's why you're so bored, I certainly was!

The GB is far more fun!!!

I hope you find all the friendship you seek, God bless you sweetie.

Thanks I'll try that.

God bless you too