Get REAL, people!

[Guest]

Who ever says, "OH BABY I'M CUMMMMMINGGGGG!!!!" during sex? I mean really?

People moan, people whimper, but they don't yell out that.

Also, authors, PLEASE have someone proof-read your grammar and spelling!

 

[KillerMuffin]

The oh so hated NEOM!!!!

Never Ending Orgasmic Moment. I hate those, too. Let me guess, he stuck his magnificent 12 inch member of joy into her instanto-wet pussy and bounced her lucious 59FFFFF boobs perkily? Oh yeah, don't forget the ever popular, she was 5'7", long blonde haird 38-20-36 and 105 pounds.

 

[TaffyJ]

59FFFF!

Is there any way we can inform some of the male writers that a 59FFFF woman is NOT someone you want to see naked? That is the welfare lady wearing a mumu with 33.2 kids in line in front of you at the grocery store. She's wider than her shopping cart is long. Don't go there, guys!

 

[Guest]

hehe

Hey now, let's be fair.
The author may have fucked my hubby.
The boy learned from late night HBO, but he's getting there.

 

[Sateema Lunasi]

I don't yell out "I'm commmmmmiiiiiiinnnnnnng!!!!"

But I do have a habit of saying, "Oh God, I'm going to come....yes, yes...I'm coming!"

I am jus' freakay like dat.

 

[MorganHawke]

A Realistic view on Bra-sizing.

*…a 59FFFF woman is NOT someone you want to see naked...*

Okay, for all those who know nothing about bra-sizes, I worked for Frederick's of Hollywood. I have actually studied and been certified in this particular subject.

That’s right, I am

- a Boob-ologist. (I swear to God - it's a Real title too!)

The largest bra that Frederick's sells, is a 40DD.
The smallest is 32A.
The most common size (and we can never keep enough of them in!) is 38B.
- Middle America wears a 38B.
I am an abnormality at 34D. (I’m also 4’9” and chubby – so my rib dimensions are Going to be smaller but I’m chubby so my boobs will be bigger.)

Let us examine the size: 59 FF

The number (59 in this case) is how big around the ribcage is. (In inches, here in America. It’s centimeters just about everywhere else.) So this woman is 59 inches around the ribs. (That's located above the waist.)

The letter (in this case FFFF) in the size of the cup she needs to hold her boob above said waist. Basically this tells you how big the individual boob she's slinging around is. Deez are some Tig old Bitties! I would compare them to king-sized pillows and they're probably shaped like that too. (Oblong and Flat.)

I actually have a friend who has boobs that big. They are real. They were not created for her then shoved inside her skin. (Ah-La Expensive Plastic Surgery.)

They Do Not Sit Up. Ever. Period. They hang Below the waist ponderously, bulging at the very end. At the top of her boob - where it's attached to the body - the skin is stretched in a manner that I would not consider flattering.

Unfortunately, she also has a ribcage, stomach and thighs of a size to carry that weight around. She sweats a lot - continuously.

She also has to have her bras custom made. A custom-made bra for a person of her size starts at $100.00. Being the type of person that she is - she just goes bra-less. She tucks in her shirt and uses a very tight belt to keep her boobs from falling out the bottom.

Her husband made her a leather corset to hold those doggies up where they're supposed to be. It was a happy moment in her life. Having her boobs where everybody else’s were, rather than pressed against her thighs.

No, I will NOT post her picture.

Those of you obsessed with Big Boobs – you are just going to have to deal with the fact that if you want the real thing – Real bodies come with them. If there’s enough fatty tissue to make a pair of boobs that size – then there’s enough fatty tissue to make the REST of the Body that size too.

Only ‘Plastic Surgery’ can make your dreams come true.

Hopefully this has cleared up some of the Bra-Mystique

 

[KillerMuffin]

What about a testosterone induced skewing of female reality vis a vis full body, orgasmic ability, sexual predation, and ability to cum instantly in pornography today?

 

[MorganHawke]

Mythic Proportions & All That Jazz

[What about a testosterone induced skewing of female reality vis-à-vis full body, orgasmic ability, sexual predation, and ability to cum instantly in pornography today?]

I have 3 younger brothers. Each of them is 6 years apart from the next so I asked each of them: "What is with this need for physical impossibilities in sex & the way your dream-girls look?"

From my study, I gathered this: Apparently, the Average Male tends to form his opinions on what love & sex is at puberty. This is also when he decides what his dream-girl looks like. Naturally they went looking for porn & smut – "Why not a real girl?" I asked them.
"‘Cuz real girls aren't supposed to like sex," I was told.

Where did they get this opinion? Well, my 3 brothers got it from my Grandmother, my Mom & from being Catholic.

So they went hunting for girls who did like sex. Ah-La Smut & Porn. And since Hollywood does nothing but make sex fantasies (and physical impossibilities,) a dream-girl was born to each of my brothers.

Hey, I like fantasies too! My first crush was Bela Lagosi as Dracula! (Talk about your sexual physical impossibilities!)

 

[MorganHawke]

Mythic Proportions & All That Jazz - Continued

"Cuz real girls aren't supposed to like sex." Only Bad Girls do.

Bad Girls also:
Get drunk, smoke, wear too much make-up, talk loud, wear black clothes, wear leopard-print clothes, wear tight clothes, don’t wear panties, do wear thongs, don’t wear bras, do wear push-up bras, wear red nail polish, wear red lipstick, wear stockings rather than panty hose, go out with boys after dark go out - at all - after dark…

The list goes on & on… I got the same list too, from Mom.

And one more thing, my brothers told me:
“You never hit girls – unless they’re bad. ‘Cuz they like it.”

Well, hell! I LOVE to get Spanked! But they were not talking about BDSM – Safe-Sane & Consensual. They were talking abuse. According to my brothers, bad girls liked getting hit – because they knew they deserved it. Where did they learn that? From Dad, who had learned it from his Dad.

Let me tell you I straightened that little myth up right away – at the top of my lungs. Then I laid into my Dad for telling it to them. (I was 18 at the time and it was still scary.)

Where do guys get all this stupid crap from? Their Parents. They get it at home then they film their biased opinions in Hollywood and share their biases with every body else's.

So who's gonn's set 'um straight?

Literotica is doing just that - along with every writer of Good Smut out there. What we are doing is rewriting how they look and see sex with every good story we post.

They are out there - looking for smut. And here we are ruining the learning curve by improving the quality - whether anyone likes it or not.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Re: A Realistic view on Bra-sizing.

The largest bra that Frederick's sells, is a 40DD.
The smallest is 32A.
The most common size (and we can never keep enough of them in!) is 38B.
- Middle America wears a 38B.
I am an abnormality at 34D. (I’m also 4’9” and chubby – so my rib dimensions are Going to be smaller but I’m chubby so my boobs will be bigger.)

Just a point of information: This isn't accurate anymore. I wear a 38 F (which is usually the same as 38DDD), and Frederick's is one of the only places that carries my size in the store. Granted, they usually only have black & white, and only one or two styles, but they do carry my size. Though perhaps this is unique to Southern California, land of plastic surgeons, the porn industry, and oodles of wannabe starlets. I don't know.

But I'll agree that it's more breast than most people would want to see, much less carry around!

 

[MorganHawke]

The Boob-ologists blushes

Oops! My Bad!

Silly me - Yes the Frederick's of Hollywood here in North Carolina does indeed go up tp 40F! (I just checked!)

 

[Guest]

 

[Frederick Carol]

MorganHawke said

They are out there - looking for smut. And here we are ruining the learning curve by improving the quality - whether anyone likes it or not.

At last! I'm one of the good guys! Well, I'm trying to be...

FC

 

[Softly]

Some thoughts

aril
aril
A writer must decide what descriptions to present to the reader.
I have come to the conclusion that when a guy falls in love with a girl that to him she is beautiful. Since most brides are between the ages of twenty and twenty eight, they in are in the full bloom of their womanhood.

The men at that age are at their most attractive.

When a girl marries a man she has in mind that she will change many of his habits, which she never does.

A guy marries a girl thinking that she will remain the demure
lovely thing he has known. She puts on forty pounds with the first two chilrden, and being tired from working full time as well as being a mother to his children, cuts his sex by eighty percent. In addition, she becomes a force to be reconed with when he thinks that his present seventeen foot boat need to be upgraded to a twenty-four foot one.

In frustration, he clicks on to Literotica. He reads a story about a woman being fucked by five guys and loving the fact that each has a thick eight inches. For a few minutes, our reader can picture his wife being what he wishes she was. He know she can not, and will not ever be that woman for a hundred reasons, but he can dream.

His wife clicks on Literotica. She sheds the kids. The job is gone.
Super jock falls for her. Her beer belly complaining husband who won't do the dishes disappears as she is ravashed, loving ever minute of it.

Some tell us not to write, Ooooohhhoooo, or other vocal descriptions. Some woman are extremly vocal, as are some men.
If you don't like that, I'm sorry, but that is "Real."