Genuine

[Annalisep47]

Sometimes I wonder if there’s anyone looking for a genuine connection beyond just using someone for sexual gratification. *

 

[Rackham75]

Sometimes I wonder if there’s anyone looking for a genuine connection beyond just using someone for sexual gratification. *

Anything sexual is better with a genuine connection.

 

[Annalisep47]

Anything sexual is better with a genuine connection.

My feelings as well

 

[Jada59]

Of course! If I just want sex, I can go to Bert's Tavern.

 

[Rackham75]

My feelings as well

I'm turned on by the person as a whole. If I can't have interact when her in a meaningful way outside of the bedroom, then it just doesn't work.

I once had amazing sex with a woman after a conversation that revealed we both loved a certain author. We talked about his books for hours and then about a week later we had mind-blowing sex.

 

[cliteatingman]

Of course! If I just want sex, I can go to Bert's Tavern.

Who is Bert?

 

[Jada59]

Who is Bert?

i have no idea. I guess I shouldn't give his place a bad reputation since I've never been in there. It's just a tavern that's near here. Isn't a tavern/bar/pub a good place to get sex though?

 

[Spiritedlady]

I’ve found lots of blokes here who are genuine and fun to talk to. The problem is in lots of cases that they have slightly complicated home arrangements which makes them very low key on the boards ( if at all) or unavailable at times. Although you probably get lots of PMs sometimes you need to make the first contact if you see someone who catches your eye. I was on a thread for a fair while exchanging views with someone but he never messaged me so in the end it messaged him. You can make someone’s day by doing that.

 

[Spiritedlady]

Ps. I can be flakey & unattainable too - we all have stuff going on in the real world

 

[MutualMatureMike]

Sometimes I wonder if there’s anyone looking for a genuine connection beyond just using someone for sexual gratification. *

I think, being Lit, there's a lot of the time when sexual gratification and arousal are just in the air, then chatting, it can be hard (no pun intended) to just ease back to being just two people making contact, being social, not sexual. Lit can feel like a bar, but on sexual steroids!

 

[MutualMatureMike]

Ps. I can be flakey & unattainable too - we all have stuff going on in the real world

Ah yes, that pesky real world!

 

[Rackham75]

I’ve found lots of blokes here who are genuine and fun to talk to. The problem is in lots of cases that they have slightly complicated home arrangements which makes them very low key on the boards ( if at all) or unavailable at times. Although you probably get lots of PMs sometimes you need to make the first contact if you see someone who catches your eye. I was on a thread for a fair while exchanging views with someone but he never messaged me so in the end it messaged him. You can make someone’s day by doing that.

I wouldn't reach out in a PM yet as I'm pretty new and somewhat reserved (until you get to know me). I think it's a matter of respect.

But yeah, the complicated home life is something that I'm dealing with at the moment. That and the fact that I work the overnight shift and keep really weird hours.

 

[AlliaPotestas]

There are loads of genuine people here but finding them amongst the dross can be a challenge...

Interact with people decently and the genuine souls soon shine through - the fakers and the ones looking for the wham bam thank you mam fixes soon fall by the wayside - they lack the patience...

I was listening to an excellent podcast yesterday (thanks to a lit recommendation from a genuine lit’er friend) where an interviewee was discussing genuine friendships forged on twitter - recently one of them passed away, a man he had never met and ‘only’ had a twitter friendship with. Yet he stood in his kitchen and cried proper tears at the passing...

My mind came here and to whether there were friendships on lit that would have me crying proper tears in my kitchen and I didn’t have to even think about it... there is a whole bunch of fuckers here that I would cry ugly tears for because I genuinely care for them...

That said - we get out what we put in... I had a quick look at your personal from July and whilst you do mention getting to know people and seeing where it goes, it says nothing about your interests and passions. There isn’t really a hook for anyone wanting to go down a non-sexual route and this is a sex site so an ad looking for folks to chat with will illicit sexual responses. Apologies if that sounds critical, meant as friendly advice - maybe have another go at a personal and tell us something about what makes you tick... what you enjoy chatting about...

Good luck finding what you’re looking for, x

 

[sunshinestate100]

I’ve found lots of blokes here who are genuine and fun to talk to. The problem is in lots of cases that they have slightly complicated home arrangements which makes them very low key on the boards ( if at all) or unavailable at times. Although you probably get lots of PMs sometimes you need to make the first contact if you see someone who catches your eye. I was on a thread for a fair while exchanging views with someone but he never messaged me so in the end it messaged him. You can make someone’s day by doing that.

Spiritedlady , you are right I can makes someone's day if you them. until you talk to them privately you cannot really judge what they are like, it is so easy to say it the general forum "im real"
Me personally, I feel I am so genuine and open, caring as well, hopefully anyone I have pm'd would confirm this (anyone!!) we are all on here for different reasons but again some of us enjoy normal conversation at times not just sexual.
But then you get the ones which talk and disappear straight away, recently I pm'd someone who seemed lets say in a really bad place in there head and they responded, a couple of messages later they wanted to go via email so I set up a new random email account exchanged one message via email never heard from them again. I genuinely wanted to see if they wanted to talk and help see a way though it. I suppose I comes down to want you are on here for.

 

[where_is_RUTH]

Wham bam thank you Mamm!

https://youtu.be/6W0d9xMhZbo

(Ignore me, there are some faces above I recognise and I'm in a dickish mood)

You're not in the UK are you?

 

[AlliaPotestas]

Wham bam thank you Mamm!

https://youtu.be/6W0d9xMhZbo

(Ignore me, there are some faces above I recognise and I'm in a dickish mood)

You're not in the UK are you?

I’m not clicking on that in a busy office - is it gorgeous George?

 

[TTawhere]

Crux of the matter...

There are loads of genuine people here but finding them amongst the dross can be a challenge...

Interact with people decently and the genuine souls soon shine through - the fakers and the ones looking for the wham bam thank you mam fixes soon fall by the wayside - they lack the patience...

I was listening to an excellent podcast yesterday (thanks to a lit recommendation from a genuine lit’er friend) where an interviewee was discussing genuine friendships forged on twitter - recently one of them passed away, a man he had never met and ‘only’ had a twitter friendship with. Yet he stood in his kitchen and cried proper tears at the passing...

My mind came here and to whether there were friendships on lit that would have me crying proper tears in my kitchen and I didn’t have to even think about it... there is a whole bunch of fuckers here that I would cry ugly tears for because I genuinely care for them...

That said - we get out what we put in... I had a quick look at your personal from July and whilst you do mention getting to know people and seeing where it goes, it says nothing about your interests and passions. There isn’t really a hook for anyone wanting to go down a non-sexual route and this is a sex site so an ad looking for folks to chat with will illicit sexual responses. Apologies if that sounds critical, meant as friendly advice - maybe have another go at a personal and tell us something about what makes you tick... what you enjoy chatting about...

Good luck finding what you’re looking for, x

Finding what you’re looking for is challenging - particularly if you are married, as I am and in a sexless marriage because of my wife’s medical issues.

The things that I have found difficult are numerous. I lead an interesting life and am busy, so I always worry that I will not be able to carve out time for that special someone that I may find to take as a lover. It leaves me with personal doubts as I don’t want to start something with someone that I cannot give them the time they deserve.

Then there is the whole thing of finding someone close enough to you physically - certainly this site doesn’t really make that easy if you’re looking for companionship here.

Many people are unwilling to spend the time to get to know someone as well - one or two interactions and they wander off. Relationships take time.

I also find people are very superficial - I’m not a bad looking guy and for my age, I’m in better shape then some 20 year-olds. I’m blessed with a good gene pool in that regard, and I remain physically active.

My interested are myriad. Professionally I’m an engineer and have had an interesting and varied career. Women - if you used Max Factor’s mascara products in the 1990’s, the packaging was my design and I did work for many cosmetics companies that you’d recognize. I’ve worked in optics, and now work with millimeter wave technology to deal with climate change. I also teach people woodworking, boatbuilding and paddle-making (the boat kind... ). I love to cook and I love the outdoors and get out hiking, backpacking and canoeing. I’ve travelled the world and can be at home in London, Paris or New York’s finast places, but also down in the dirt in the backcountry of New Mexico. I also have a small hobby writing erotic literature which I’ve only just started to reveal here. The problem is how to convey all of this. Someone has to be willing to scratch the surface.

I fully understand what is being said about online forums. I’m a member of one related to my boatbuilding work and have formed fast friendships with people there and some of us find ourselves sharing the ups and downs of life as well as about our joint passion for boats. We’ve lost members we haven’t known and mourned for them. We’ve shared joys and accomplishments and celebrated them. We’ve also had moments where we get to spend time together in the real world and cherish those.

But yeah. It is difficult to find that special person. More so when you’re married with a life.

 

[Bpar721971]

Sometimes I wonder if there’s anyone looking for a genuine connection beyond just using someone for sexual gratification. *

Without the connection sex is meaningless.

 

[TTawhere]

Without the connection sex is meaningless.

+1000!

NSA - No Strings Attached relationships? I don’t believe they exist.

 

[Booboobear84]

Sometimes I wonder if there’s anyone looking for a genuine connection beyond just using someone for sexual gratification. *

Yes. In my case sex is decreasing in importance and conversation increasing. I like the subtext of sexual tension, the flirting, and the occasional burst into passion. The true connection makes me feel desired.

All this said, the pm system here is tedious and can lead to various kinds of impatience.

 

[HughManitee]

I'd love to find a genuine connection. I found it here once before, it eventually ended but it was wonderful while it lasted.

 

[ComplexSituation]

I think alot of people here are looking for something..

The question is getting the truth out of them.

I also think alot of people are confused as to what they want. Most people here seem to think they need physical attention but at the end of the day they just need someone to pay attention to them.

 

[AllAmericanMale]

Many have said it already, and I'll echo it again, there are lots of good people on lit. If you find someone that catches your virtual eye, send them a well thought out pm. If your hunch is correct, that they're not an ass, you'll get a response.

I've had a few people message me, out of the blue. It does make my day and it has led to good conversation and some fun.

As the saying goes, though, you may have to kiss a few frogs first...

 

[Newguy30]

Sometimes I wonder if there’s anyone looking for a genuine connection beyond just using someone for sexual gratification. *

As it has been said mulitple times, there are many of us looking for something more than just sex. Most of the people i have seen and spoken to here have all been seeking a more personal connection, often in place of a physical one.

That being said, the physical attractions, in my opinion, can't be overlooked as a great deal of those of us here have been left feeling neglected in one or both aspects of our lives. I myself have often spoken of being what i term "touch-starved". This isn't to say its simply sex. Humans are physical creatures. We need to have a mental and emotional connection yes, but we also need to be touched, to physically feel that someone is there.

I understand the want, if not the NEED, to find a worthwhile connection to someone. I have been married for 6 years now to someone who these days introduces me as her "roomate" to her friends. I have reached out once or twice for friendship, if not more, on here and I've made a couple connections. One of them which almost turned into something truly deep and meaningful. Unfortunately life, as it tends to, got in the way and we found it best to remain courteous pen-pals. She is still a very good friend of mine.

Anyway, now that I'm done rambling, this is a marvelous place to find people. The open atmosphere allows people to share the parts of themselves that society usually says we have to hide away behind closed doors. Though it may also flavor that in the sexual aspect, being a site for erotic musings, it still gives us the freedom to bare ourselves in a way that can lead to finding something special.

I hope that you can find some friendships on here. Lol. It would probably seem a little shameless to say i am open to conversation, but the option is there. I have picked up a few options for chat since everyone here has different preferences as to what might work for them.

Good luck in your search.

Don't give up on finding worthwhile people to surround yourself with. Even if you have to go through a few "bad eggs" as it were.

 

[Beachaged]

I think there are many people on Lit looking for a genuine connection. I think trying to maintain a connection on line is tough. It is easier when you can see the persons face and read their body language. Distance I also is another obstacle. I’ve met some real nice people who are halfway around the world. The time difference is definitely a challenge. Not being able to have a conversation in real time certainly makes having a real connection tougher.