Gentleman: Asking for her hand in Marriage....

[3113]

I know that it's probably more common for men and women to just discuss marriage rather than for the guy to do the formal asking. What I'm looking for here, however, are guys (and any ladies who might have done this) who did the old fashioned way. Bought the ring, arranged for some sort of romantic evening, sprung it on the girl at a particular moment and asked her "Will you marry me?"

*What made you decide to ask her to marry you...rather than just continuing on as you had (dating and/or living together)?
*Did you think about asking her for a while? Did you think about it because she dropped hints? Or did you just have an ephiphany one day: "That's my wife!" and you knew it was time to ask her?
*How did it feel picking out the ring (if you went for a ring)?
*How did you plan out the moment? What made you decide when and where and how?
*Was doing it a certain way important to you? For example, was it really important to you that you propose at a favorite restaurant or place? That you have a diamond ring or go down on one knee? Or did you just think, "I'll do it tonight at the pizza parlor!" no planning it out, nothing more important than just asking the question?
*How nervous were you? Sick-to-your-stomach scared? Doubts about whether you should be doing it at all? Did you have any fears of her saying "no," or did you know how she was going to react (tears, smiles, etc.) and you were excited as a kid to spring this lovely surprise on her?
*How did the proposing itself feel? Was there something thrilling in going down on one knee and asking (if that's what you did)...or did you feel a little silly, but hey, you knew she'd like it so you did it?
*Was her reaction all you'd hoped it'd be? Or did she surprise you in some way or other? When she said "Yes" how did that feel? Absolute relief...or, "Knew it!" delight? Or "Shit! what have I gotten myself into?"

I hesitate to ask if any one got a "no" answer and how that felt. I don't want to bring up any really horrible moments.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

*What made you decide to ask her to marry you...rather than just continuing on as you had (dating and/or living together)?
RF: Seemed like the logical thing to do.

*Did you think about asking her for a while?
RF: Yes

Did you think about it because she dropped hints?
RF: They weren’t hints.

Or did you just have an ephiphany one day: "That's my wife!" and you knew it was time to ask her?
RF: Something like that.

*How did it feel picking out the ring (if you went for a ring)?
RF: We went together afterwards.

*How did you plan out the moment? What made you decide when and where and how?
RF: I didn’t.

*Was doing it a certain way important to you? For example, was it really important to you that you propose at a favorite restaurant or place? That you have a diamond ring or go down on one knee?
RF: No

Or did you just think, "I'll do it tonight at the pizza parlor!" no planning it out, nothing more important than just asking the question?
RF: Thinking “I’ll do it tonight at the pizza parlor” would constitute a plan. I had none.

*How nervous were you?
RF: I wasn't

Sick-to-your-stomach scared?
RF: No

Doubts about whether you should be doing it at all?
RF: No

Did you have any fears of her saying "no,"
RF: No

or did you know how she was going to react (tears, smiles, etc.)
RF: Yes

and you were excited as a kid to spring this lovely surprise on her?
RF: No

*How did the proposing itself feel?
RF: Nice

Was there something thrilling in going down on one knee and asking (if that's what you did)...or did you feel a little silly, but hey, you knew she'd like it so you did it?
RF: No

*Was her reaction all you'd hoped it'd be?
RF: Yes

Or did she surprise you in some way or other?
RF: No

When she said "Yes" how did that feel? Absolute relief...or, "Knew it!" delight? Or "Shit! what have I gotten myself into?"
RF: Married.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[3113]

RF: They weren’t hints.

Hit you over the head did she?

*How did it feel picking out the ring (if you went for a ring)?
RF: We went together afterwards.

Really, RF, it hardly counts if she KNEW you were going to ask her because you went together to pick out the ring!

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Hit you over the head did she?

Really, RF, it hardly counts if she KNEW you were going to ask her because you went together to pick out the ring!

She made no bones about wanting to get married. However, she let me know she'd have a life after graduating from college in nursing if that wasn't to be.

The ring buying was a romantic deal. On her first trip to my home after the engagement, we bought her engagement ring at the same jewelry store where my father bought my mother's.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[matriarch]

We met briefly at Lucky & Vella's wedding and were attracted, but didn't say anything. We conducted our 'courtship' on line and on telephone...5000+ miles can be a real barrier, but I knew in a very short space of time that I loved her and just wanted to be with her. When we finally met, it was only 24 hours later that I asked her to marry me. I didn't go down on one knee, it wasn't old fashioned. I woke up the first morning, saw her sleeping face on the pillow next to me, and just knew this was what I wanted for the rest of my life.

I asked her if she would marry me, and she said 'yes' with no hesitation. She told me later that she had intended to ask me that week, if I hadn't asked her.

We went out that day and chose and bought matching rings. (see AV)

After 4 months of living together, we have no doubts whatsoever that we're doing the right thing. And when the combined beauracracy of UK and USA can get off their arses and ok and process the paperwork, married (in all but name) is exactly what we will be. (It's called a civil partnership, but is marriage for same-sex couples in all but name. Thank god for Britland.)

We'll let you all know, be sure of that. Just watch this space.

 

[oggbashan]

I asked her if she would marry me, and she said 'yes' with no hesitation. She told me later that she had intended to ask me that week, if I hadn't asked her.

We went out that day and chose and bought matching rings. (see AV)

After 4 months of living together, we have no doubts whatsoever that we're doing the right thing. And when the combined beauracracy of UK and USA can get off their arses and ok and process the paperwork, married (in all but name) is exactly what we will be. (It's called a civil partnership, but is marriage for same-sex couples in all but name. Thank god for Britland.)

We'll let you all know, be sure of that. Just watch this space.

Congratulations to you both.

Will you both become Brits, or US citizens, or remain one of each?

Whichever country ends up with both of you should consider itself honoured.

Og

 

[matriarch]

Congratulations to you both.

Will you both become Brits, or US citizens, or remain one of each?

Whichever country ends up with both of you should consider itself honoured.

Og

Thank you.
I'm the one that considers myself honoured and blessed to have found the love of my life at my age.

I have no intention of becoming a US citizen, and I don't expect Min to become a British Citizen, but after a specific time period, after the partnership, she will be eligible for residency and be able to look for work in the UK. Having checked out immigration elligibility for me, it ain't gonna happen. I don't tick enough boxes for them to want me here. *shrug*. Their loss.