Gay/lesbian adoptions

[sophia jane]

Wanna help me with my homework?
I've decided to write my major paper for a class I'm taking on the issue of whether gay/lesbian couples should be allowed to adopt. I have to present both sides of the argument in my paper, and I know both sides are represented here on the board, so...
Anyone know of a good site/article/book on the topic? (for either side of the argument). I've already found lots of good stuff, but thought I'd ask here, too.

It'll be an interesting topic, I think. Just hard for me to keep my own opinion out of it.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

My best friend's cousin was a lawyer in a landmark case in Florida. I'll try to google his name and find out, but he's done plenty of pro-bono work for GLBT issues and is really well known. That case in Florida was so full of information, the judge wrote an 800 page decision on it, rewarding the father full custody even though he was gay/transgendered, if memory serves.

 

[sophia jane]

My best friend's cousin was a lawyer in a landmark case in Florida. I'll try to google his name and find out, but he's done plenty of pro-bono work for GLBT issues and is really well known. That case in Florida was so full of information, the judge wrote an 800 page decision on it, rewarding the father full custody even though he was gay/transgendered, if memory serves.

I found a couple of mentions of that case, but nothing that in depth yet. I just decided the topic about twenty minutes ago. I knew I wanted to write something I felt passionately about, but couldn't decide till now. And I'd definitely appreciate what you can find.

 

[sophia jane]

bump.
Particularly hoping someone will know of some decent anti-adoption stuff. I'm having trouble finding anything that doesn't reek of religious intolerance. (which makes sense, but won't work with the paper).

 

[impressive]

http://familypolicy.net/wv/?p=330

This was a big case in my area. Not so much "adoption," though.

 

[sophia jane]

http://familypolicy.net/wv/?p=330

This was a big case in my area. Not so much "adoption," though.

Thanks.

 

[Pure]

As you probably know, the 'anti' material is centered on the claim that the man woman (married) family arrangement is the exemplary one preferred by God and/or Nature. And the children benefit from and 'need' a parent of each sex.

On the more strident side, would be the claims that the gay parent will inculcate their orientation and/or values into these vulnerable young.
Or, for gay males, that there'd just be took much fucking around and instability of the pair, to be likely long term parents.


If you mean actual 'proof' that gay parents are going to fuck up the kids, that's probably harder to come by. Material in the first two categories is easy to come by. There is some material on instability of gay male relationships.

 

[sophia jane]

As you probably know, the 'anti' material is centered on the claim that the man woman (married) family arrangement is the exemplary one preferred by God and/or Nature. And the children benefit from and 'need' a parent of each sex.

On the more strident side, would be the claims that the gay parent will inculcate their orientation and/or values into these vulnerable young.
Or, for gay males, that there'd just be took much fucking around and instability of the pair, to be likely long term parents.


If you mean actual 'proof' that gay parents are going to fuck up the kids, that's probably harder to come by. Material in the first two categories is easy to come by. There is some material on instability of gay male relationships.

I don't need "proof" which is good since there isn't any. I just need to be able to present believable arguments for both sides. For example, I can't quote some crazy totally off based person on either side. I need solid, academic type sources. For the pro side of things, I have lots and lots. The other side, not so much. I suppose if I get really desperate I can go to the Focus on the Family website.

 

[Pure]

two examples of fairly sober opposition

http://www.cwfa.org/articledisplay.asp?id=10169&department=CFI&categoryid=family

French Government Report Says No to Homosexual Marriage, Parenthood

2/21/2006

By Beth Andersen

Commission stands firm on the family?s role to develop children.

In a surprise move for a European country, an important French government report says no to homosexual ?marriage? and adoption by homosexual couples.

The primary reason cited for the report?s finding, according to Lifesite.net, is ?to affirm and protect children?s rights and the primacy of those rights over adults? aspirations.? Therefore, the report, released on January 27 after more than a year of investigation, declares that families are structures meant to create a healthy and safe environment for the development of children.

?This is a breath of fresh air from Europe, which has been drifting toward sexual anarchy for years,? said Robert Knight, director of Concerned Women for America?s Culture & Family Institute. ?The French have it exactly right ? they see that the campaign for homosexuals to acquire children by adoption is being driven not by what?s best for kids but by adults? desires. And they see that the fiction of homosexual ?marriage? is directly related to the dangerous claim of homosexuals? ?right? to acquire children. Visionaries like pro-family commission member Christine Boutin had a lot to do with this return to sanity.?

The Information Mission, a commission set up at the request of the President of the French National Assembly, released the report: the Parliamentary Report on the Family and the Rights of Children.
?Making marriage available to same-sex couples therefore presupposes that they will also be given the right to adopt and receive medical assistance for procreation, and even the right to use surrogate mothers, because such couples are not fertile. The Mission is divided on this subject. It considered the consequences for the child?s development and the construction of his or her identity of creating a fictitious filiation [parental relationship] by law ? two fathers, or two mothers which is biologically neither real nor plausible,? said the report.
The report said no to both marriage and adoption for specific reasons. ?Marriage is not merely the contractual recognition of the love between a couple; it is a framework that imposes rights and duties, and that is designed to provide for the care and harmonious development of the child,? it said.

?It would in fact be incoherent, if couples were regarded as equal, to remove the prohibition on marriage and preserve it for filiation.?
The findings of the report come as a surprise, while most European countries are debating homosexual ?marriage.? What France will do in response remains to be seen, but the report is clear that a home with a married mother and father is best for children.

For more on this topic, click here. The full report is available, in French, here.

http://www.assemblee-nationale.fr/12/rap-info/i2832.asp#P1579_220885

======

http://www.cwfa.org/articledisplay.asp?id=7465&department=CFI&categoryid=family

Testimony of Robert H. Knight, Director, Culture & Family Institute

Concerned Women for AmericaCourts of Justice Committee, Virginia Senate

Regarding HB 2921
February 16, 2005

Good afternoon. We're here to talk about what's best for children and how to secure for them the best possible adoptive homes. Public policy should be guided not by what some adults want but by what's actually best for children. In most debates, homosexual activists argue that they "deserve" to be parents or that they "want" to be parents. Well, that's understandable. There's a universal longing to be a father or a mother, but this doesn't mean everyone is equally qualified.

The activists also assert that this is about "equality," but that's not true. A household that is missing an entire parental sex, that is, missing a mother or a father, is not equal to a married household. When placing children in foster homes, the state should do everything in its power to provide the best chance for them to have a balanced, happy home life. A lot of these children come out of a troubled background. They need the best situation. This means finding homes with a married mother and father-not a home with two homosexuals, or a home with two heterosexuals who are unwilling to make a lifelong commitment to each other.

Even with the nation's high divorce rate, married homes are far more stable on average than any other model. This is not about parenting abilities. There are some wonderful single parents who do their best under tough circumstances. But children in single-mother homes can tell you that they don't crave another mom; they want a father. Kids in single-father homes don't crave another daddy; they want a mom. House Bill No. 2921 wisely seeks to establish public policy that aims to fulfill children's need to have a married mother and a father.

In the popular film Sleepless in Seattle, a desperate little boy goes on the radio to seek a wife for his single father. He's already got a great dad, played by Tom Hanks. The boy does not want another dad; he wants a mom. Yet, we're told that public policy should be indifferent to that boy's needs.

To put it another way, do we really think the boy would not notice if, instead of getting new mom Meg Ryan, he wound up with a guy from Queer as Folk as his "second dad?" It's wrong to place a child in a deliberately motherless or fatherless household, especially when there are married couples waiting to adopt. The National Council on Adoption estimates that between 1 million and 2 million married couples are on waiting lists.

They are going to China, Russia and Romania at great expense, seeking children. There is no excuse for placing kids in a motherless or fatherless household or one that isn't even bound by a marital commitment. Even when a straight, single parent adopts a child, there is at least a chance that a husband or wife will eventually join the parent.

But in a homosexual household, there is a deliberate choice to deny a child - for life - of growing up with a father or a mother in the house. Such a child misses out on viewing, up close, three important relationships: between mothers and fathers, husbands and wives, and men and women, not to mention the special ways in which parents of either sex relate to their sons or daughters. Who among us could say that our father could be replaced by a lesbian, and this would not have made any difference in our lives? Or that our mother could just as easily have been a male homosexual?

Men and women are not interchangeable. Mothers and fathers provide crucial things to children that cannot be duplicated in a same-sex household, regardless of the parenting abilities or good intentions of the adults. Every child deserves a first-class adoption, not to become the object of a politically-driven social experiment.

Homosexual activists and their allies at professional organizations often assert that "science" has proved that children are no different if raised in homosexual households. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) even released a statement to this effect, and featured an article in an AAP journal by a pro-homosexual researcher as the foundation for its assessment. This researcher showed her biases right up front by describing marriage itself as a "heterosexist" institution. So much for objective science. Most "gay parenting" studies compare children in lesbian households with children in heterosexual, single-mother households.

The only major study1 to directly compare children raised in married, single-parent and same-sex households was published by the journal Children Australia, and it revealed that, "Overall, the study has shown that children of married couples are more likely to do well at school, in academic and social terms, than children of cohabiting heterosexual and homosexual couples."

The "gay parenting" studies, as a whole, are extremely flawed, with all but a handful written by pro-homosexual researchers. In No Basis: What the studies Don't tell us about same-sex parenting,2 authors Robert Lerner and Althea Nagai demonstrate that all of these studies are "gravely deficient," with some having self-selected sample sizes of less than a dozen people.

Earlier, the Journal of Divorce & Remarriage examined a number of "gay parenting" studies and reported: "The conclusion that there are no significant differences in children reared by lesbian mothers versus heterosexual mothers is not supported by the published research data base."3

One of the most frequently cited researchers, Charlotte Patterson of the University of Virginia, a lesbian who often testifies in adoption and custody cases, was rebuked by a Florida court for failing to reveal how she documented her findings. The court, by the way, upheld Florida's law barring homosexuals from adopting, and that verdict was recently upheld by the U.S. Supreme Court.

In 2001, a team of pro-homosexual researchers from the University of Southern California did a meta-analysis of "gay parenting" studies and published a refreshingly honest article in American Sociological Review,4 "(How) Does the Sexual Orientation of Parents Matter?" The authors concluded that, yes, studies show that girls are more likely to "be sexually adventurous and less chaste," including being more likely to try lesbianism, and that boys are more likely to have "fluid" conceptions of gender roles, and that researchers should stop trying to cover this up in the hopes of pursuing a pro-homosexual agenda.

The researchers said, in effect: Some of the kids are more likely to turn out gay or bisexual, but so what? Even with all their statistical shortcomings, the parenting studies, as a whole, show that children raised in same-sex households are more likely to view homosexuality positively, try homosexuality themselves, or to suffer gender identity confusion.

This makes sense; children's most important role models are their parents. If homosexual behavior is offered to them as normal on a daily basis, more of them are going to think it is normal and desirable.

In an often-quoted study by Susan Golombok and Fiona Tasker,5 the authors note that the "large majority of children who grew up in lesbian households identified as heterosexual." But another of their findings is often ignored: "Those who had grown up in a lesbian family were more likely to consider the possibility of having lesbian or gay relationships, and to actually do so." The authors conclude that growing up in a lesbian household's "accepting atmosphere" of homosexuality "may facilitate the development of a lesbian or gay sexual orientation for some individuals. But, interestingly, the opportunity to explore same-sex relationships may, for others, confirm their heterosexual identity."

Since there is no credible scientific evidence that homosexuality is genetic, it makes sense that kids exposed to parental homosexuality will tend to see it as a viable option. This is tragic, since homosexuality has well-documented health risks, especially for young men, but also for young women. Various medical journals report drastically higher incidences of sexually transmitted diseases, shortened life spans, domestic violence, alcohol and drug abuse, and psychological problems among homosexuals.6

San Francisco and New York health authorities are now grappling with a new strain of HIV that is resistant to drug treatments and can result in full-blown AIDS within a year or two instead of the usual 10-year incubation. They're also greatly alarmed by a new strain of Chlamydia among young homosexual men that is resisting treatment.

Homosexuality aside, it should be no mystery that children need and want both a mother and a father; it's a self-evident truth. It follows that public policy ought to encourage placement of children in married households. Some children of homosexual parents are beginning to speak out and contradict the idea that it's the same as being raised with a mom and dad. I have heard from several people raised by homosexuals who have told me that they are still dealing, years later, with family dysfunction.

One woman poignantly related how she felt when she came out of her bedroom one night and saw her father kiss his male lover on the lips. She said she was physically ill and to this day needs counseling. Here's a letter we received at Concerned Women for America from a woman named Emily:

"Thank you, thank you, thank you for all that you are doing to protect children from being placed in homosexual households. I spent part of my teenage years living with my mother and her female lover. It was a heartbreaking and disturbing experience to say the least. The needs of the children MUST be placed before the desires of adults. Throughout my life, the most well-balanced and successful people I encounter come from healthy, loving, traditional families. I wish I did too!"

In conclusion, let me pose a scenario that, I hope, will put this into perspective. Most of you here are married and have children. If something happened to you and your spouse, would you be comfortable having your son placed in a house with two homosexual men, or a house with two lesbians? How about your daughter being placed with two lesbians, or with two homosexual men? If those scenarios trouble you as to your own children, why would it be okay for other people's children?

The state of Virginia owes all foster children a first-class adoption, nothing less. HB No. 2921 is a step in that direction.

Thank you. End Notes
1. Sotirios Sarantakos, "Children in three contexts: Family, education and social development," Children Australia, Vol. 21, No. 3, 1996, pp. 23-30.
2. Robert Lerner, Ph.D., and Althea Nagai, Ph.D., No Basis: What the studies Don't tell us about same-sex parenting, (Washington, D.C.: Marriage Law Project, 2001), p. 3.
3. Philip A. Belcastro, Theresa Gramlich, Thomas Nicholson, Jimmie Price and Richard Wilson, "A Review of Data Based Studies Addressing the Affects (sic) of Homosexual Parenting on Children's Sexual and Social Functioning," Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, Vol. 20 (1/2) (1993), pp. 105-122.
4. Judith Stacey and Timothy J. Biblarz, "(How) Does the Sexual Orientation of Parents Matter?" American Sociological Review, Vol. 66, No. 2 (April, 2001), pp. 159-183.
5. Susan Golombok and Fiona Tasker, "Do Parents Influence the Sexual Orientation of Their Children? Findings from a Longitudinal Study of Lesbian Families," Developmental Psychology, Vol. 32, No. 1 (1996), pp. 3-11.

6. See, for instance, voluminous citations from medical journals in Timothy J. Dailey, Ph.D., "The Negative Health Effects of Homosexuality," Insight, Issue 232, Family Research Council, Washington, D.C. (2001), http://www.frc.org/get.cfm?i=IS01B1.

 

[sophia jane]

Thanks Pure. I have a couple of articles on the Concerned Women for America site bookmarked, but I didn't have that particular piece.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

I flummoxed a Bible thumper recently by describing two couples, one a completely dysfunctional white trash het couple, the other a pair of salt-of-the-earth, soul-of-virtue homosexuals. I drew the picture in colorful but not over-the-top terms. He had been talking about a neice he cared about. I asked which couple did he hope would adopt her if her parents died. He was honest and reasonable, and acknowledged that I won. It happens.

 

[sophia jane]

I flummoxed a Bible thumper recently by describing two couples, one a completely dysfunctional white trash het couple, the other a pair of salt-of-the-earth, soul-of-virtue queers. I drew the picture in colorful but not over-the-top terms. He had been talking about a neice he cared about. I asked which couple did he hope would adopt her if her parents died . He was honest and reasonable, and acknowledged that I won. It happens.

Good on you!

 

[Pure]

I think it's an excellent question, that's not going to go away.

I had a similar experience to what R says. I tried out the most common objections (posted above) on a social worker: the instability of male gay pairs, and their possibly having contracted AIDS (if promiscuous, which is not unheard of).

Her answer was that adoptions are always assessed, regarding placement: instability of the couple is one factor that could indeed be important. Likewise dangers to and state of parents' health, or their disability related to health would also be key.

Therefore, the *rational* thing is to use these criteria (stability and health). Even if, ftsoa, we knew 90% of gay couples have the above probs and only 10% of straight ones do, it's very inexact--one may say, prejudicial-- to use gayness as such, rather than focus on the real issue.

There is one last issue which is a conundrum. Suppose gay couples tend to have [or rear] children who believe a gay lifestyle is acceptable, and who are statistically more likely to be gay--FTSOA. The liberal (in morals) will find that NOT to be an objection, and the conservative (in morals) will. The difference being accounted for, respectively, in the acceptance (or not) of the premise that there is nothing defective or disadvantageous about the gay lifestyle.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Rhetoric is rhetoric after all.

Who among us could say that our father could be replaced by a lesbian, and this would not have made any difference in our lives? Or that our mother could just as easily have been a male homosexual?

WE would notice a difference if one of our parents had been replaced by anyone- a Muslim man suddenly became our new father, after a lifetime with a Christian, for instance. Or an Eskimo. Or an abusive drunk- not anyone I would want for my children! BUt a child raised from infancy would accept it as normal- we're mostly talking about infant adoptions, aren't we? Any severe change in a familie's makeup with older kids is traumatic.

"several people" complain that their same-sex family was dysfunctional? I'm sure there are dysfuctional Same Sex families. And the more non-traditional families that crop up- the higher those numbers will grow- Statistically, it's inevitable
Hundreds of thousands of hetero families are dysfunctional, after all. If that seems like a damning number, remember that there are millions of het families.

But for a girl to complain that she still needs councilling after seeing her father kiss his lover on the lips- my, my, poor baby. I hope she never encounters anything really rough in her life! And if her upbringing had ever taught her to honor the concepts of love and respect between adults... but it didn't, I'd say. I would guess that had she seen her actual mother and father kissing, she'd be in therapy too.

The girl who complains about having to live with her lesbian mother as a teenager- would she have been any happier with a stepfather? I doubt it, myself. I talk and listent to three of my daughter's friends who are dealing with family shifts, and it's just not easy. It has nothing to do with the sexual preferences of the parents.
And of course, one child's perceptions can be different from a siblings. My sister focusses on all the dysfunctionalities of our childhood- I remember how blessedly serene it all was, on the whole. Being the product of a hetero nuclear family didn't make an iota of difference to my gender and sexual isues- my sis is 100% straight.


well... just a few random ramblings!

 

[sophia jane]

Rhetoric is rhetoric after all.
WE would notice a difference if one of our parents had been replaced by anyone- a Muslim man suddenly became our new father, after a lifetime with a Christian, for instance. Or an Eskimo. Or an abusive drunk- not anyone I would want for my children!

"several people" complain that their same-sex family was dysfunctional? I'm sure there are dysfuctional Same Sex families. And the more non-traditional families that crop up- the higher those numbers will grow- Statistically, it's inevitable
Hundreds of thousands of hetero families are dysfunctional, after all. If that seems like a damning number, remember that there are millions of het families.

But for a girl to complain that she still needs councilling after seeing her father kiss his lover on the lips- my, my, poor baby. I hope she never encounters anything really rough in her life! And if her upbringing had ever taught her to honor the concepts of love and respect between adults... but it didn't, I'd say. I would guess that had she seen her actual mother and father kissing, she'd be in therapy too.

The girl who complains about having to live with her lesbian mother as a teenager- would she have been any happier with a stepfather? I doubt it, myself. I talk and listent to three of my daughter's friends who are dealing with family shifts, and it's just not easy. It has nothing to do with the sexual preferences of the parents.
And of course, one child's perceptions can be different from a siblings. My sister focusses on all the dysfunctionalities of our childhood- I remember how blessedly serene it all was, on the whole. Being the product of a hetero nuclear family didn't make an iota of difference to my gender and sexual isues- my sis is 100% straight.


well... just a few random ramblings!

Stella- you bring up an excellent point. There are dysfunctional families of every makeup. It's just that the only ones that get press are the non-traditional ones.

 

[zeb1094]

I really have nothing for you, just a good luck on the paper.

Oh, I am, however, for adoption by gay couples. I see no reason to not be for it if they are capable and loving. Their lifestyle should not be a factor.