Garrison's and McKoy..Hick Fued Comedy

[Sweetp4u]

Eve McKoy
21
Brown hair, brown eyes.


Walking up and sitting on the rocking chair, dawn was approaching. I needed to narrate this a little and tell my tale of deception and lies, all instigated by that white trash colony on the other side of my creek. "The Garrisons. Evil people, who just don't know when they are wrong."
Shaking my head, I smiled sweetly, almost angelic in a sense.
"Now before you go all pickin' sides and not listenin' to a thang I have ta say, heshap!" Adjusting myself in the rocking chair, I glared across the distance to the sleeping and unsuspecting clan next door.
"This all started simple enough.. They were wrong! Garrison's don't own mah crick, neva have neva will have. And one day Ol' Bessie came wonderin' down from yonder woods, moo'in somethin' awful. Well She needed milkin' and since it was mah crick she was in, and seems how she was so lost 'n all, I tooked her in and milked her. Givin' her a damned proud home in mah barn...Well wouldn't ya know it! Those damned Garrisons came trompin' on over, insistin' like, that Bessie was their cow. And since Bessie wandered onto Their crick, she was theirs."
I snickered and shook my head, laughing at the thought.
"Well that just restarted up the whole damned fued once agin' If'n ya get mah meanin'..." I fell silent and listened making sure those trailer trash fellers over yonder weren't waking up.
Whispering, I continued my story, "This awl got started back in...oh hell.. forever ago.. Anywaus.. Great great granddaddy made this here moonshine that put hairs on yur chest and made ya spit fiar out yur arse. Well them Garrison's great great grandpappy insisted it waus his shine recipe, and bickering became a fight, and a fight became a fued. Haven't let them no-good Garrisons back in our distillery since then.. Until we knows who done made that whiskey.. There won't be no ending this fued none.. Sshhhhh I think that lippy Garrison wench is finally up.. Get a looky at this when she comes on out and tries to start her truck.." Snickering evily, I sat back in the rocking chair.
"Now go on and git now, I don't have no time ta be 'splainin' this to yew... gist watch and learn.."
I sat back in the chair, fondling the distributor in my hand as I waited for twit brain to come out and start her truck for the morning rounds on the farm. This would be a riot..



ooc: hehe Welcome, do pm me for your family last name and let's get to feuding . Now this is a "nice" fued.. meaning no one dies! just pranks and alot of mud slinging.. Oh and dont forget your hillbilly drawl...

 

[Shoty98]

Maggie

Maggie Garrison
20 years old
Flaming Red hair
Grey eyes



"Well hiya all. Ya'all look perty samrt so's I recon yer here ta get the real poop on the history here. Well either way iffn' yer smart er not it is good ya came here, instead a listenin' to the backward assed truth from that de...delu....ah hell that dunse twit or there." I leaned in close whisperin' "Her name is Eve, but sometimes I calls her Queen of cow pies. That stems from one day she was chasin me through the field, and somehow ended up in the middle a one of Bessie's giant cowpies."

Sitting upright again I laughed inwardly, no one had ta know I pushed er in it, did they? "Well anyways I guess I better git to the facts. Them dammed McCoy's are always thinkin the creek be theirs, but it really ain't, it's been in the family fer years. They's just don't know that. Fer a long time things wasn't so bad, little pranks 'ere and there, but that all changed. One faithful day our cow came up missin'. I figure since none a my clan is dumb enough to leave the gate open and let her out it had ta been them theiven McCoy's, and their story bout her wanderin' down the creek is nuttin' but a pack a lie's ta cover their tracks."

I shrugged, never really had any idea. "I'd offer ya sum moonshine but my stash is 'bout out, an it'll be a few more days 'fore I can git over there an git some more. That be a nuther fued we been havin' fer god knows how long. Them dummies or there think their great great, sumthin' or nuther grandpappy came up wit the concoction, but that ain't true neither. One day my grandpappy 'don't know how many great's he was' was down at our creek, he was waden' in his bare feets, when he slipped and bonked his head on a rock. Since then the family's been makin' sum mean moonshine."

I stood up and peeked out a the front window, my brow fur...fur...oh hell wrinkled. "You see there, she's sittin' out there waitin' fer sumthin'.....little does she know I am too. But that is 'nough a the story, ya'all will jus' have to watch en see fer yerselves. I gots work ta do." I walked outta the house and stood on the front porch, hands on hips glarin' at the enemy on the other side. "I recon, you twit if ya spend much more time sittin' in that chair your ass isa gonna be fused ta it per....per...oh hell ferever." With that I stomped off ta my truck, ready ta start my day and go fer a swim in da lake, that be ours too, down the creek a ways. Fer sum reason I wadn't shocked when I hoped in the truck and the dern thing didn't start, I hopped outta the truck and yanked the hood up. It took me a few minutes to figure out what she done, when I did I started a hollerin "You little chit, you jus' wait til I...." the words trailed off right there, when I remembered what was sittin' on the breadbox in the house, softly I giggled and pulled the hood a my truck back down. "She can't go nowhere's iffn' she don't have her carb!" I giggled ta no one's in particular.

 

[BadForm]

Scarlet

Hey, y'all. Whut you doin' peekin' in on a girl lahk that fer? Ain't you got nuthin' better to do than be pokin' roun' the ol' barn an all? Ah, don't mind me, I'm jus' relaxin' out here while muh sister teachis that Garrison girlie a lesson in manners. Figgered I'd use the time to enjoy a quick lie down an' some ter-baccy. You want some ta chew? I jus' cropped some this mornin' an' it's good stuff. Not like yer reg'lar baccy, mind. This is that marry-juwanna! Tastes good too!

So I guess yer wondering who I am eh? Bessie Jean McKoy, an' the pleasures all mine. Well, Bessie Jean is muh given name, an' the name I was baptahsed with, but ever'one round here jus' calls me Scarlet. Wus somethin' to do with when I come of age at 12, like 6 years ago. They say I didn' know how to handle my peridot right! Shoot, back then I thought a peridot was some kinda stone like whut muh maw has on her chain. But the'm come runnin' in an seed me all covered in blood an' cryin' an' they said "Shoot, Scarlet, you don' need to be catterwaulin' like some tomcat in a mangle! It's jus' yer peridot!" an it kinda stuck from then.

Anyhow around, you jus' check in on the rest of the folks an' all. An' hey, take some baccy with you. It's good stuff! Not like reg'lar ter-baccy at all!

 

[ARaynes]

Betty Lou

Betty Lou Garrison
18 years old
Blonde hair
Green eyes

Ma name is Betty Lou Garrison. I jus' recently moved to coz Maggie's house. Coz is what them city folk call yer aunts chiltlin. I actually just got ere. Seems my ma says I have to live wif them cuz we don't have any money. I don' car much one way o another. Familyz family I aways says.

Som dem folks near us, dey know me. My Pa says I m meaner den an old goat sometimes. I don reckon I aint. I don really care what folks thenk sometimes.

Once a boy from school, he don hawled off and called me baby. Mos empty headed irls, they don git mad bout dat. Is do. Is don really like being called baby. Wall, I hawled off an it im. He don gone cried tto his ma when I was done.

I got to Maggie's with one bag. One my grandmammy gave me when I was two. "MAAGGIEEE!" I yelled knowin she'd be round somewhere.

 

[nightray]

Name: Randy Garrison
Age: 25
Look: nearly seven feet tall and 300 ponds of muscle black hear hazel eyes
Personality: stupid never got past fifth grade likes hunting and plowing the field it’s nice and peaceful out there ya know and ya don’t have to think to do it.


IC: My eyes open as the first raze of the sun land on my eyes. I grown and role out of the bed thumping on the flour on all fours. I shake my head thinking “I should a stopped drinking when Maggie tolled me to last night.” I stager to the bathroom where I splash cold water on my face to wake up and maybe eze the pain a bit. I look in to the mirror frowning at my blood shot eyes.

I slowly move back in to my room and look throw the close scattered across the floor until I fined some that’s not quite as bad as the rest of my stuff. I pole it all on slowly and stumpal down the stars to the kitchen. I smile seeing that some one already made up some coffee. I pore my self a cup a look of utter consignation on my face as I try to keep my hands steady. But to know avail my yell of pain and anger fills the room as the steaming coffee spills over on to my hand. I set the cup down spilling more “Dammed stupid cup.” I put the pot back and quickly put my hand under the cold water. Murdering curses under my breath.

 

[BadForm]

Scarlet

So, you is still here, huh? Thinkin' bout goin' over to see them thar Garrisons? I wouldn' do it if I wuz you. No sirree. Them Garrisons cain't be trusted. I tried it when I wuz a yung un, but they cain't be trusted. 'taint possible!

Let me tell you bout that day. It wuz years ago now. I figgered it was jus' ol' maw an paw an' sis with an axe to grind an' I went over, jus' to say hi like, nice an' friendly. An' that Randy Garrison wuz there an' he acted like he wuz all friendly an' nice. He tol' me his bull needed milkin' an as we 'ad a cow could I 'elp. Sure, sounded good. I'd milked the ol' cow before an' once you did it right once you done it right allus.

So he took me to the barn an he showed me the bull. Firs' thang I notice wuz the thang only had one teat, an' it wuz long an all strange. But I grabbed a bucket an' sat meself down an' began to work. Well that ol' bull got all excited an' all an' it wuzn't givin' no milk. Not at all! So Randy says to me that I gotta do it harder an' faster to get milk from the bull cos of how they're like tougher than the cows. He even said I could have a drink of the bulls milk when I wuz done 'cos it wuz reel sweet an' such.

Well, I pulled an' I pulled an' I pulled. Seemed like forever til got the thing to give any milk an' it wuzn't much even then. But ol' randy poured whut there wuz into a cup an' gave it to me. I thought it was reel kind like since there wuz less than a cup in the first place an' I took a sip. An' you know whut, that milk wuz awful. All salty an' not sweet like he said. So I figgered he'd played a trick on me an' I give him a slap an' come home! I ain't spoken to him after then.

 

[afternooner]

Uncle Enis

OOC.
Enis McKoy(?)
36
bout average height weight inteligence and looks ect
kinda well known around these parts of being well endowed if'n you git my drift

IC

Comin' down from the hills. his Model T singing like a bird on acount of he'd added some white lightnin to the gas tank, Enis is about as happy as possum eatin' a persimmon.

This last batch of brew turned out awesome as it always did now that he had Pappys recipe perfected. What a stroke of luck. He recollected how he'd met the old codger up at hilda's whore houe a couple of years ago and had struck up a converation.

First thing he knew the old fart had invited him to visit and being sort of down and out of luck moved in whth him and his lovely wife and a passel of chidren. well it wernt long afore he was sneakin in to pappys wifes bedroom as the old codger had a habit of drinkin' too much of his own stuff and passsed out quite regullarly on the porch. He helped pappy up in the hills minding the mash and such and tottin' the jugs back and forth to the places papy peddled his brew. He watched pappy closely and learned the proportions 'n time 'n such that held the secrect to his wonderfull recipe, Anyways to make a long story even longer Pappy finally sucomed to cerosis of the liver and Enis took over his duties at the still and in the bedroom Pappy wife seemd rather pleased with this 'rangement and they were doing just fine till she took of with a vcacuum cleaner salesman one hot july day.

Well Enis wern't too happy bout that knowin' someone suited her better but he had the recipe and a couple of fine girls up at Hildas to take care of his (needs) and life goes on cept for those damn Garrisons, always nosing around trying to steal the secret. theys never gonna git it though he vowed, it was all in his mind anyways and hed never tell anyone no how.

so it's monday morning and Enis putt.. putts
into the yard

Uncle they call him though he's not much older than the girls. their Ma insisted that they call him uncle Enis. He gets out scratches where it itches, his bibs overalls make that damn handy. and says

"howdy y'all got a fine batch here if'n any one would like to sample it".

He pulls out a jug from the rumble seat and popping the cork holds it up high so as the Garrisons if'n their looking from across the river can see how fine it is.

 

[Sweetp4u]

Eve McKoy

"G'mornin' Uncle Enis.. You bring in some new whiskey already?" I smiled as I hopped off the porch and walked down the drive way.
"Bessie Jean's aroun' here somewheres. Probably in the barn of somethin'." I looked up at the bottle and whistled, "Who you sure got it lookin' damn good! Can I have a taste yet Uncle Enis? huh?" I smelled the whiskey on him, and it sure did smell purdy good ta me.
I laughed as I seen Ol twit brain tryin to start her truck across the crick. Snickerin' I waited and waited for her ta figure out it wasn't goin no wheres.. Not without that distributor missin'..

 

[Shoty98]

Maggie

I was in the middle a broodin' when I heard Betty Lou callin' out ma name. I looked fer a moment in Eve's direction, she was a still settled in that ol' rockin' chair thinkin' she was gonna get a show. But she was sorely mistaken cause she missed it already. I turned and hollerd in the direction I had heard Betty's voice

"Betty Lou, over hear by the truck." Turnin' on my heel I walked to the house and banged on the side a it and hollerd at Randy

"Randy, you up? Im'a gonna need yer help taday. Hurry up......Please." I wuz fumin' mad, now I's wuz gonna have to do the farmin' work witout ma truck. Dam that little queeny. She'd get her's in the end.

Jist when I din' think I coulda get any madder, here comes that 'ol' timer', the one they calls Uncle Enis, pullin up in his putter of veehicle and flashin' round a jug a my grandpappy's moonshine. One day we'd get it back frum them theivin' McCoy's and that'd be that, but fer now we's be stuck runnin' up the mountain stealin' what we needs and just bein' happy ta get sum.

 

[BadForm]

Scarlet

"Hey Unca Penis..." I laughed loud as I come outta the barn, still kinda whacked from the ter-backy. "Hey, y'all, what brung you down our li'l ol' farm? Hey that thar summa that juice you makes so good? Swap ye some for some ter-backy. What say, Unca?"

No, mah Unca Penis... well, Enis as summa the family calls him, but I likes to be 'onest an all... well, he's a hot li'l number, an' every time he comes down here he comes up here if'n ye know what I mean. Sure, yessirree! Unca Enis is allways a good one to 'have' down on the farm.

 

[ARaynes]

Betty Lou

It done take fer eva fir Maggie to answer my callin. Finally she said she's by the truck. I git there and see her beside tha house, banging on it like some white trash. Whad she think we was? Trailer trash? I laughed to m'self.

"Maggie, Mah says I's to stay wif you." I say setting my bags down. "Don't know nuthin 'bout farmin, but I's reckon I can learn." She gone done looken madder'n some ol' wet hen with her brow all wrinkled back and firth. "Was gone and pissed on yo' egg?" I asked confursed and all about her mean look..

"Want I to run in and jump on ol' Randy's bed wake his lazy sorry good fir nuttin ass up?" I gone and asked.

 

[Tibxo]

Baby-face Curry

Full name: Clarence "Baby-face" Curry.
Age: late 20's.
Occupation: Bank robber.
Cute face (hence the nickname)
Brown hair
Green eyes.

"Okay, buddy. Fill this here sack with all yore money!" He says through his scarf.

The teller looks more awkward than scared. He does nothing.

"Didn't you hear me, boy?" Growls Baby-face, waving his six-shooter in front of him, " I tol' you to give me yore money."

The man nods.

"Y-you did, sir." He says.

"Wal? Then why don't ya do it?"

"Erm ... there is a slightly problem." Starts the teller.

"Problem?" Baby-face looks at his fellow robbers.

"Erm ... Well, sir. It's like this - we have no money!"

Baby-face cannot believe his ears.

"What!!!???"

"Erm... This is a new bank and today's our first day. In fact, we only opened five minutes ago."

This is not happening!

"You must have money in yore safe?" Baby-face asks.

"Erm...the shipment hasn't arrived yet."

Baby-face cannot believe this. His first day as a bank robber and it's all falling apart.

"Dang it, Baby-face. What do we do now?" Complains one of his gang.

Dang it, Jim-Bob! You aint supposed to say my name!

"Baby-face?" One of the women customers says. Baby-face recognises her. It is Mrs Watkins who used to live in the next town where he comes from. "I know you. Yore are Clarence Curry. Does yore momma know that you are here trying to rob the bank?"

Shit! Why her?

"Let's git outta here!" He shouts out to his gang...

 

[nightray]

Randy Garrison

I role my eyes at Maggie’s yell for me I take a sip from the coffee then I put it down and walk to the kitchen window. I push it open and yell “I’m awake dammit. Cant a guy get a cup of coffee before the women start their infernal bitching.” With that said I slam the window shut and move back to the table.

I drink the rest of the coffee waiting for my head to stop its relentless pounding. I look at the frig debating wither I should fined some thing to eat or if I would just horal it all up any way. I finely get up and look in the fridge looking for any leftovers. I grimes saying “fuck it nothing worth eating in hear.” I slam the frig shut and walk out the screen door walking arund the house tell I finned Maggie.

My eyebrows go up at the site of my other cozen Betty Lou standing with some bags. I move over to her raping my arms arund her waist giving her a big bear hug squeezing the breath out of her. I say “What brings you out hear Lou Lou.” I smile knowing she hats it when I caller that.

 

[ARaynes]

Betty Lou

"UHG!" That derned Randy. Sueezin me like I's thirteen again. "Dern it Randy! Don't you know Mah tol' me to come here? Don't call me Lou Lou neither. My name is Betty Lou!"

Randy had always treated me as if I were a baby. Patten mah head and thangs. Some shame he was.

"Don't you go yellin' there at Maggie neither. She gone done gone raised you up an' all." I punished him slappin the back of his fool head.

 

[nightray]

Randy Garrison

I laugh and wins at the same time as she slaps the back of my head “I say one I didn’t know you where coming Maggie doesn’t tell me muck unless she’s trying to get something from me, second I was up she didn’t need to yell at me especially when she knows that we parted last night and I’ve got a throbbing head this morning.” I glare a Maggie with red eyes.

 

[afternooner]

Uncle Enis

"Hi honey chile" I holler as I see Eve jump off the porch Shes lookin better every day now I think as she bounces up to me." Give your uncla Enis a big smooth now. Ya I got a nice batch this time but it's good to be home agin I miss my family. sooo wheres that Scarlet at Out in the barn"

I'm supposin that girl spends more time in the barn than is normal, I know Ma didn't like her having that whacky terbacky around but Ma's gone now and Scarlet,she knows I kinda like the stuff once in a while almost as much as good shine or a hot piece of ass.

Thinkin about thatI slap Eves behind and say

"Hey chile, I bought you something at the general store in town they just came in. these new bikini thong swim suits Cost all of ten dollars Your favorite color too baby blue."

I handed it to her
"Not much material hereI recon, they had tops too but that was another ten so I figured the bottom would be enough You aint got much up there i look up knowin i'm fibbin. I think she's about to swat me on acount of my arrogance but hell I'm her uncle, got a right to josh a little with her.

" Hey Scarlet looky what I got here".

I pull these horeshoes, four of blue and four of red, outta the car."

This heres a new fangled game that any one who's any one is playin now these days I hear, so I recon we should to it too.Called horseshoes, like duh what else would you call it. anyways ya put up these two stakes about twenty paces or so apart and and the you throw the horseshoes at them one from each end like this".

I set up the stakes and throw one

"Damn close, I say as it lands about ten feet short In this game close counts so's I get one point."

"Now You all go over there and throw one my way, toward the creek here dont pay no mind to that Garrison twat across the creek she's probably just jealous. anyways throw it hard as you can towards the stake by the creek, not too hard now we don't want it to land on Garrison land they;s sure to claim it".

I grin what if the damn thing goes right through the door or hits old smarty pants Maggie in the ass. Life could get real interestin real soon I recon.

 

[Sweetp4u]

Eve

"Hey!" I gave Enis a real nasty look and turned ta Scarlet.
"I'm thinkin' he's askin' fer a ass whoopin'." Chucklin' I held up the teenie tiny lil thang o' material and glanced at Uncle Enis..
"This dont look like no swimmin' britches!" Huffin' at his comment I had no teets, I almost popped him one agin.

He set up these spike thingys in da ground an waus tossin horse shoes and I jist shook mah head at the whole thang, "And yew paid money fer that?!" Sittin down I watched as Scarlet and Uncle Enis tried to hit each other wit them horse shoes.

 

[BadForm]

Scarlet

It's damn fine fun tossin' the ol' horsey-shoes with Unca Penis. Damn near hit one too. Then I hear ol' sis gripin' an a bitchin' bout spendin' money on the thangs. Shee-it, thar aint nothin' worth doin' with money if'n it aint havin' fun!

"You jus' 'nore her Unca Penis," I say with a grin. "Ol' tight britches is jus' a mite annoyed 'cos of the ol' cow over the way aint tried her mower yet. Gonna be fun when she sees what a mess that thar engine is. Dunno much 'bout them myself, like, but I don' think it goes any better when you snip a few cables. Whut's that big thing with the plus an' the minus on it?"

I laugh. "Sis thinks ah'm stupid or somthin'. She don' know I kin git creative too. Figgered she might as well lose ever'thang togither..."

 

[Shoty98]

Maggie

I pulled an arm 'round Betty Lou after Randy Nearly hugged the stuffin' out a her "Welcome to yer new home cuz, and don worry nun 'bout the farmin' work tain't that hard ta do and I do 'nough of it that there ain't that much ta do?" I gave er shoulders a bit a sqweeze and stepped toward Randy.

"As fer you ya lit snit, I dun tol' ya that Betty Lou wuz comin' ta stay wit us. I can't hep it iffn' you was far inta that bottle a moonshine, ta remember. An as fer my infernal bitchin', It is downright needed this mornin' ther be a ton a work ta do and our truck been sab...sab.. oh sweet jesus, it's been messed up. So we's won't 'ave it ta do our work taday." I paused for a long moment and took a deep breath ta hep calm me down "So git off ma case. Betty Lou why dontcha go on in an' git yerself settled inta a room. Any room likes hun." I turned an' walked away frum the two a dem and rumaged fer extra parts. Of curse I din' have the part she took so's I's was gonna have ta go inta town ta git one.




OOC. Pardon this intrusion of an ooc., but Maggie has already been in the truck to find it won't start and has already been under the hood to find only the distributor missing. Ty Shoty

 

[Sweetp4u]

Eve McKoy

I stood on mah side of da crick chucklin at ol twit head across da way.
"oooooooooh Maggie.. did ya lose sumpthin' o'r dere?" I chuckled harder when she gived me one of those real nasty like looks of hers.
"Well hows 'bout we trade? Yew gimme back mah carburator and yew can has yor distributor back?" I picked up the distributor and swung it in the air, watchin' her glare at mah like she had sumpthin' n her eyes?
Head cocked to one side and hand on mah hip, just watchin' her try and decide. Perhaps I shoulda asked her in simple folk english?

 

[Shoty98]

Maggie

I stood up slowly, a shudder runnin' through ma body. That shrill voice always could 'tract my 'tention. Whippin' 'round I marched on over yonder to da crick and glared at Ol' queeny a cowpies. Hands on hips an flamin' mad I looked 'er up an down.

"I recon it's no wonder yer mama runned oft an left. Probably couldna longer stand that infernal shrill, ya'all call a voice." I thinked fer a moment 'bout her offer ta trade. 'Pa alwus said it wadn't wise ta trust a McCoy. "They steal ya blind, 'fore ya know what happened." It wuz quite a de...de, shit, it wuz quite a choice I had ta make. Trust this little chit an git back my part, er not trust er and go witout it?

I looked through er, so ta speak, and tapped my foot on da ground thinkin' so hard I thought I might just 'urt myself. Finally I spoked up "Alright, give me the distributor and I'll run fetch yer carburator, sound fair 'nough?" I looked at her wonderin' if she would comprehend the question er not.

 

[Sweetp4u]

Eve

I snorted at that offer. "Yeah right, like im gunna trust yew! Go git my carb first 'n then we's tradin' once I sees fer mahself yew got da right one.. Lord knows yew might try an give me sum stupid ford carb fer mah dodge!" I tapped mah foot on the edge of the crick, glarin at da twit brain.

 

[Shoty98]

Maggie

A look a pur stupidness crossed ma face. That wadn't what I had planned but I wadn't gonna tell 'er that, i'd just play stupid an let 'er think she wuz right.

The pea brain looked like she was 'bout to shoot flames, standin' there tappin' 'er foot l;ike she was in some kinda hurry. I smirked at 'er and stomped off to da house ta git the dammed carburator. Not like I needed it, I had a stash a them. Quick like I ran in the house and snatched the bloody thing off the bread box and went back out.

I stood cross from her, "Now this be how we do this, we each hold out our hands an on the count a three....that is iffn' you can count that high we'll change parts at the same time got it?" A smile beamed inside me, she looked like she was bout ta blow 'er top.

 

[Sweetp4u]

Eve

I glared at her twitiness and waus tempted ta chuck her stoopid distributor inta the dern crick.
"Like yew can count high an' three anywaus.." moving forwerd I held out the distributor in mah hand, waitin' fer her ta bring her lard ass down the shore.
"Now dont fall in an kill all da fishes ya hear!" i count ta three, took the carb and let go of the distributor.
"Now if'n yew gist leave mah damned truck alone I wouldn't be a messin' wit yers.." I turned and strutted back up da bank of MAH crick to da yard. Turnin' around I tolt her ta keep her white arse outta mah pond while she was at it!

 

[Shoty98]

Maggie

"You started the part stealin' you half-wit, not me. Iffn' ya want it ta stop ya better not take any more a my parts." I watched 'er huff her way back up the bank, thinkin' least if I fell in da crick it wouldna git all dammed up and what not.

Distributor in hand I backed up da bank a my crick and kept an eye on 'er. "Hey Eve, I recon you take that advice bout the lake down yonder. It b'longs ta us an iffn' ya kill off all da fish 'gain I ain't gonna be nun to happy bout it. Ohhhhh! Enis, why don'tcha ring one them round Scarlet's neck....." Ma words trailed off there as I begunned laughin' an headin' fer ma truck, maybe this wouldna be sucha bad day after all.

Grabbin' up a half inch wrench I opened da hood a the truck and climbed on in. "Betty Lou you gonna pick yerself a room and put that heavy bag away?" I went ta work puttin the distributor back in the truck and tightenin' it down where's it's posed ta be.