Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Christmas Vacation

[AmericanTrash]

I had told my stepmother, my last remaining parent, that I was dating a woman. She accepted that, sort of. I mean, she knew I was bisexual. She had met a woman I loved. Last weekend I told her that the woman I am dating transitioned. Somehow this seems to pose a difficulty. I worry that I should not have mentioned the transition. I see my girlfriend as the person I love. I worry that now she won't be seen as this person, this smart, funny, sexy person. I worry that she will always be seen by my family through this lens. Also, maybe it wasn't my story to tell. It was an attempt to explain why we wouldn't be spending time with her folks in Utah.

Has anyone else had to deal with the trans stigma? Is it better to just STFU and let it be what it is without explanation or preparation? Christmas visits are ahead and I'm trying to decide if it is better to say nothing at all about the past.

 

[FL30]

I had told my stepmother, my last remaining parent, that I was dating a woman. She accepted that, sort of. I mean, she knew I was bisexual. She had met a woman I loved. Last weekend I told her that the woman I am dating transitioned. Somehow this seems to pose a difficulty. I worry that I should not have mentioned the transition. I see my girlfriend as the person I love. I worry that now she won't be seen as this person, this smart, funny, sexy person. I worry that she will always be seen by my family through this lens. Also, maybe it wasn't my story to tell. It was an attempt to explain why we wouldn't be spending time with her folks in Utah.

Has anyone else had to deal with the trans stigma? Is it better to just STFU and let it be what it is without explanation or preparation? Christmas visits are ahead and I'm trying to decide if it is better to say nothing at all about the past.

Haven't had to deal with it, but I personally wouldn't tell anyone. It's actually NONE of their business.

If your SO wants to tell them, then it should be her decision and hers alone.

Think of this as if you were dating someone that they might or might not approve of if they knew what she did to make a living. Do they really need to know EVERYTHING about this person right now? NO, they don't.

Or to put it another way. Do you tell your family that you're on Lit? NO, because they don't need to know.

No one needs to know the truth unless your SO wants them to know.