Funny/Awkward moments during sex

[Lydia_Deetz]

Not sure if a thread like this already exists, but here goes. I've lurked for a while and decided to start a thread of my own.

What is something funny or awkward that has happened to you while having sex? I'll start:

I laugh hysterically after really hard/awesome orgasms. If it's the first time I'm with someone it can be awkward when I start cracking up laughing, but once I catch my breath and explain that it's a compliment they laugh too

 

[mulehead61]

This is more of an awkward after sex story...

I was in my early 20s and out with friends. Was introduced to a slightly older woman and we liked each other and hooked up going to her place. Ended up being a one night stand. Had a job interview with a company a couple weeks later...guess who was the HR manager?

I did not get the job....

 

[Lydia_Deetz]

This is more of an awkward after sex story...

I was in my early 20s and out with friends. Was introduced to a slightly older woman and we liked each other and hooked up going to her place. Ended up being a one night stand. Had a job interview with a company a couple weeks later...guess who was the HR manager?

I did not get the job....

Omg that is good lol. Sorry you didn't get the job, but now you have a funny story.

 

[mulehead61]

Omg that is good lol. Sorry you didn't get the job, but now you have a funny story.

Yea...but did I not get the job due to the one night stand or, since she was the HR manager, was it a bad performance review?

 

[Lydia_Deetz]

Yea...but did I not get the job due to the one night stand or, since she was the HR manager, was it a bad performance review?

She was probably as caught off guard as you were. We'll go with the fact that it was a one night stand. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Asian_Flower]

Oh I have had several LOL! One that comes to mind is when my husband was taking me from behind, very enthusiastically I might add, when suddenly the bed broke and collapsed on one side. Both of us rolled over and I ganged my shoulder, ouch, but it was hilarious. We continued on the broken bed and dealt with the problem later!

 

[mulehead61]

Oh I have had several LOL! One that comes to mind is when my husband was taking me from behind, very enthusiastically I might add, when suddenly the bed broke and collapsed on one side. Both of us rolled over and I ganged my shoulder, ouch, but it was hilarious. We continued on the broken bed and dealt with the problem later!

Even i have never broken a bed...you should be proud!

 

[Lydia_Deetz]

Oh I have had several LOL! One that comes to mind is when my husband was taking me from behind, very enthusiastically I might add, when suddenly the bed broke and collapsed on one side. Both of us rolled over and I ganged my shoulder, ouch, but it was hilarious. We continued on the broken bed and dealt with the problem later!

Kudos to you and your husband for staying in the moment Great story. Thanks for sharing!

 

[sally_sparrow]

One night my ex and I were watching the movie Blazing Saddles. We started fooling around and eventually ended up on the floor and he was working his way down to eat my pussy. When he just started getting into it this scene came on and all we could hear was farting from the movie lol. I started cracking up. He tried to keep going but had to stop because he was laughing so hard. Eventually we got back into our groove. Every time I see that movie now I think of that and it makes me laugh so hard

 

[Modern_drunkard]

There was one time where I was having a threesome with these two gothy girls at a hotel in Orlando. I came back into bedroom from taking a piss and they were putting their clothes on. I was like what the fuck are you doing? They said they we’re leaving. What? They said there were four of us in here and they were leaving? I’m like what the fuck are you talking about? They continued. After leaving I am looking in the closet and under the bed but never found anyone. Some trippy and weird shit happens when you’re out living the rocknroll lifestyle.

 

[Lydia_Deetz]

One night my ex and I were watching the movie Blazing Saddles. We started fooling around and eventually ended up on the floor and he was working his way down to eat my pussy. When he just started getting into it this scene came on and all we could hear was farting from the movie lol. I started cracking up. He tried to keep going but had to stop because he was laughing so hard. Eventually we got back into our groove. Every time I see that movie now I think of that and it makes me laugh so hard

Omg I love that movie. Thanks for sharing!

There was one time where I was having a threesome with these two gothy girls at a hotel in Orlando. I came back into bedroom from taking a piss and they were putting their clothes on. I was like what the fuck are you doing? They said they we’re leaving. What? They said there were four of us in here and they were leaving? I’m like what the fuck are you talking about? They continued. After leaving I am looking in the closet and under the bed but never found anyone. Some trippy and weird shit happens when you’re out living the rocknroll lifestyle.

Sounds pretty crazy!

 

[Nouh_Bdee]

Fell off the bed once, but that’s probably pretty common

 

[Andrewlongcock]

On a business trip I was staying for a week in a hotel and met a nice lady at the bar. We had dinner together a couple nights and then ended up in her room. We were in bed and things were progressing nicely, we both liked to take our time and really enjoy lots of foreplay. As things built up she was on top and sliding her warm wet pussy back and forth on my hard cock, her nipples were pointing out begging to be sucked. Because it was our first time we did not know each other’s likely next move, so when I curled forward to take those delicious nipples in my mouth she thought I was coming up to kiss her and she brought her head down towards mine. Unfortunately we chose this moment to be very enthusiastic in our movement, and....crack! My forehead caught her right on the cheekbone. I was dazed and she almost passed out.

Lots of ice, some tears, long hugs and we were able to finally make a night of it.

We became friends and when our business travel coincided after that we were able to have several more memorable evenings.

 

[Lydia_Deetz]

Fell off the bed once, but that’s probably pretty common

I don't think I've fallen off the bed before but I can see how it could happen

On a business trip I was staying for a week in a hotel and met a nice lady at the bar. We had dinner together a couple nights and then ended up in her room. We were in bed and things were progressing nicely, we both liked to take our time and really enjoy lots of foreplay. As things built up she was on top and sliding her warm wet pussy back and forth on my hard cock, her nipples were pointing out begging to be sucked. Because it was our first time we did not know each other’s likely next move, so when I curled forward to take those delicious nipples in my mouth she thought I was coming up to kiss her and she brought her head down towards mine. Unfortunately we chose this moment to be very enthusiastic in our movement, and....crack! My forehead caught her right on the cheekbone. I was dazed and she almost passed out.

Lots of ice, some tears, long hugs and we were able to finally make a night of it.

We became friends and when our business travel coincided after that we were able to have several more memorable evenings.

Ouch! That's so nice a friendship came out of it. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Lydia_Deetz]

Okay, I'm going to share another in hopes to get others to post too!

One time my boyfriend at the time was going down on me on my couch. I lived with a roommate at the time, the couch was right next to the front door. I wasn't expecting my roommate home any time soon so we never went back to my bedroom. We had just gone out and bought a new toy together and he was starting to use it on me. I was totally lost in the moment and as the overwhelming urge to cum arose, my roommate walked through the front door, got a full shot of my legs spread wide as my boyfriend was eating me out and I was moaning as I came. He ran so fast through the apartment to his room. It ruined my orgasm slightly, but I still squirted all over my boyfriends face

 

[TheMrBurns]

So many to choose from...

So my gf at the time was riding me, I had my legs open, feet on the mattress for leverage because we are going at it pretty hard when from out of nowhere her cat pounces right on my balls which, to be fair, were bouncing a lot at the time. Luckily the cat was declawed but I still screamed like a little girl... So that's when I really got into furries...

 

[Violetvixen1]

Just last night... Hubs and I had been waiting all weekend for our chance to finally be alone. Now keep in mind that we have a metric fuck ton of people living here, so that’s difficult at best.

We turn on the tv for background noise and one of my absolute favorite movies of all time is on, Cruel Intentions. I’m like fantastic! Now I get to look at Ryan Phillipe’s gorgeous face and I’ve always had a thing for Reese Whitherspoon and Sarah Michelle Gellar. Ok... so that entire cast may be my kink but whatever, don’t judge!

Hubs is going to town going down on me, it’s getting to the point where I’m really getting out of my own head and finally shutting out the world, and We both hear a funny line in the movie and can’t help but laugh. Ends up accidentally blowing a zerbert on my freshly shaved mound, and we both lost it.

45 minutes later we finally got around to finishing the deed. The end!

 

[Lydia_Deetz]

So many to choose from...

So my gf at the time was riding me, I had my legs open, feet on the mattress for leverage because we are going at it pretty hard when from out of nowhere her cat pounces right on my balls which, to be fair, were bouncing a lot at the time. Luckily the cat was declawed but I still screamed like a little girl... So that's when I really got into furries...

I almost spit out my coffee ready this lol. Cats can be so crazy at the most inopportune times! Thanks for sharing!

Just last night... Hubs and I had been waiting all weekend for our chance to finally be alone. Now keep in mind that we have a metric fuck ton of people living here, so that’s difficult at best.

We turn on the tv for background noise and one of my absolute favorite movies of all time is on, Cruel Intentions. I’m like fantastic! Now I get to look at Ryan Phillipe’s gorgeous face and I’ve always had a thing for Reese Whitherspoon and Sarah Michelle Gellar. Ok... so that entire cast may be my kink but whatever, don’t judge!

Hubs is going to town going down on me, it’s getting to the point where I’m really getting out of my own head and finally shutting out the world, and We both hear a funny line in the movie and can’t help but laugh. Ends up accidentally blowing a zerbert on my freshly shaved mound, and we both lost it.

45 minutes later we finally got around to finishing the deed. The end!

I love that movie too! I would have cracked up laughing from that as well. Thanks for sharing here!

 

[EroticRomanticMan]

Just last night... Hubs and I had been waiting all weekend for our chance to finally be alone. Now keep in mind that we have a metric fuck ton of people living here, so that’s difficult at best.

We turn on the tv for background noise and one of my absolute favorite movies of all time is on, Cruel Intentions. I’m like fantastic! Now I get to look at Ryan Phillipe’s gorgeous face and I’ve always had a thing for Reese Whitherspoon and Sarah Michelle Gellar. Ok... so that entire cast may be my kink but whatever, don’t judge!

Hubs is going to town going down on me, it’s getting to the point where I’m really getting out of my own head and finally shutting out the world, and We both hear a funny line in the movie and can’t help but laugh. Ends up accidentally blowing a zerbert on my freshly shaved mound, and we both lost it.

45 minutes later we finally got around to finishing the deed. The end!

Ha ha ha!! Great account! I had to look up zerbert though!!

 

[Acktion]

Well, I was going to tell the story about when I had my late wife lying on the couch as I knelt beside her head, fucking her mouth, as I reached down her body to diddle her clit... but, we've already got a cat story.

So... hmmm...

After a couple of decades together, our heartthrob hardbodies gave way to gravity and we developed "furniture disease" (that's when your chest sinks into your drawers for those that don't know). But, it was fine that we weren't anything anybody else might want to see, because we still loved and wanted each other.

So, this one night, we're engaging in our usual shenanigans measured in hours. And I'm giving it to her how she wants, spurred on by Freddy Kruger claws in my ass. And... I don't know if you know this, but when you fuck for more than an hour and several position changes, it's just natural to get some air in there. Which is then released if there is pressure applied to the abdomen. Which, since our bellies had gotten rounder, we had gotten used to and usually managed to tune out.

What we hadn't gotten used to...

Look, I don't care who you are, if you are fuckin' for a couple of hours, you're gonna sweat. If you're doing it right, at least. So, I'm sweatin' and she's sweatin'. We were a right proper pair of sweatin' oldies that Richard Simmons would have been proud as fuck.

Our once washboard bellies, as I mentioned, had gotten rounder and rounder until they were touching. Oh, we could still work around them, don't get me wrong. But, also as I mentioned, there was pressure on her abdomen that would make her quif, which we ignored and carried on.

But, this particular night, our bodies moved just right that our sweat filled navels (both innies) formed suction.

Which wasn't the problem. The suction.

It was as I pushed in, of necessity pulling my stomach back, and the suction was broken to cause a fart noise, and then pulling out a quif was pushed out as my belly pressed against hers again... forming suction again.

Pfft...brip...pfft...brip...pfft... brip...

With the headboard banging the wall like bass drum, and the legs under the bed scrapping across the hardwood floor, it was downright musical!

When she started giggling, I just couldn't help myself and added a "bow-chicka-bow-chicka-bow-chicka." (I was rather proud of myself for sustaining the rhythm.)

Which made her laugh so hard she farted like a tuba.

And I lost it. Collapsing on her as I joined in her laughter. My weight coming down on her as I collapsed...

She snorted, farted, and quifed all at the same time.

Again, I just couldn't help myself and as I rolled to one side (still laughing uncontrollably), held my hands up to make a cymbal crashing gesture and managed to stutter out "ubba-the-ubba-the-ubba-the-ubba-That's All Folks!"

 

[ydahecnot]

It’s been so long, I think any attempt at it would be awkward

 

[Lydia_Deetz]

Well, I was going to tell the story about when I had my late wife lying on the couch as I knelt beside her head, fucking her mouth, as I reached down her body to diddle her clit... but, we've already got a cat story.

So... hmmm...

After a couple of decades together, our heartthrob hardbodies gave way to gravity and we developed "furniture disease" (that's when your chest sinks into your drawers for those that don't know). But, it was fine that we weren't anything anybody else might want to see, because we still loved and wanted each other.

So, this one night, we're engaging in our usual shenanigans measured in hours. And I'm giving it to her how she wants, spurred on by Freddy Kruger claws in my ass. And... I don't know if you know this, but when you fuck for more than an hour and several position changes, it's just natural to get some air in there. Which is then released if there is pressure applied to the abdomen. Which, since our bellies had gotten rounder, we had gotten used to and usually managed to tune out.

What we hadn't gotten used to...

Look, I don't care who you are, if you are fuckin' for a couple of hours, you're gonna sweat. If you're doing it right, at least. So, I'm sweatin' and she's sweatin'. We were a right proper pair of sweatin' oldies that Richard Simmons would have been proud as fuck.

Our once washboard bellies, as I mentioned, had gotten rounder and rounder until they were touching. Oh, we could still work around them, don't get me wrong. But, also as I mentioned, there was pressure on her abdomen that would make her quif, which we ignored and carried on.

But, this particular night, our bodies moved just right that our sweat filled navels (both innies) formed suction.

Which wasn't the problem. The suction.

It was as I pushed in, of necessity pulling my stomach back, and the suction was broken to cause a fart noise, and then pulling out a quif was pushed out as my belly pressed against hers again... forming suction again.

Pfft...brip...pfft...brip...pfft... brip...

With the headboard banging the wall like bass drum, and the legs under the bed scrapping across the hardwood floor, it was downright musical!

When she started giggling, I just couldn't help myself and added a "bow-chicka-bow-chicka-bow-chicka." (I was rather proud of myself for sustaining the rhythm.)

Which made her laugh so hard she farted like a tuba.

And I lost it. Collapsing on her as I joined in her laughter. My weight coming down on her as I collapsed...

She snorted, farted, and quifed all at the same time.

Again, I just couldn't help myself and as I rolled to one side (still laughing uncontrollably), held my hands up to make a cymbal crashing gesture and managed to stutter out "ubba-the-ubba-the-ubba-the-ubba-That's All Folks!"

Omg I am cracking up so hard I am in tears! This is such a great story. It sounds like you two really knew how to have fun together Thanks so much for taking the time to share!

 

[Lydia_Deetz]

It’s been so long, I think any attempt at it would be awkward

Awkward, perhaps. It could be worth it though

 

[Acktion]

Omg I am cracking up so hard I am in tears! This is such a great story. It sounds like you two really knew how to have fun together Thanks so much for taking the time to share!

You're welcome. And thank you.

Sadly, it was a week or more before we could have sex again without her cracking up. Although, I admit that was largely my fault since EVERYTHING was a music analogy for awhile.

"Wanna play the skin flute?"

"Lemme play the bongos on that ass."

Or just marching into the bedroom humming John Philip Sousa.

 

[TheMrBurns]

We were pretty early on and still in that super fun/awkward phase of learning about each other's bodies. Kissing on the couch turns to heavy petting turns to us 69ing for the first time.
I was really enjoying it. I already knew she loved having her clit licked so that's what I'm doing while my hands spread her ass.
Well she seems to be loving it and so I decided to start sucking as well. I know I'm on the right track because she stops sucking my cock and just starts this very deep moaning. It was such a turn on thar I decide to take it up another notch and slip a finger into her pussy at the same time. Now the moans are more desperate, her hips start pushing back into my face harder and harder until she let out this loud yowl and came, hard, squirting, right up my nose. She had no idea what she had done and was absolutely mortified while I tried to convince her that this was actually a good thing. Wouldn't be the last time I made her squirt but it took her a while to let go enough for it to happen again. Which is why those Navage commercials always make me so fucking horny!