Funnies

[T.H. Oughts]

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I
call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went
to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I
would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!"
Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked
like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was
nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to
have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was
over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole
world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my
personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone
would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at
the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then
on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When
we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me
and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the
motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps
me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began,
the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking
around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said
that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said,
"I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of
the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex
left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A
cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock
in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next
Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn
troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when
I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What
seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all
my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so
lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that
sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."

 

[T.H. Oughts]

What are they doing ??????

 

[mig]

Ooh! what a woood picture.


Never had a sex dog.

Just a fleabag.

 

[kiwiwolf]

LMAO... morning TH...

 

[T.H. Oughts]

LMAO... morning TH...

Good mornign Wolfy Hey if you have a larger version of your av can you email it to me please... I have an idea.

 

[kiwiwolf]

Good mornign Wolfy Hey if you have a larger version of your av can you email it to me please... I have an idea.

Sorry hon... I grabbed it off a free AV site...

 

[T.H. Oughts]

You know that all potatoes have eyes. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Potato had
eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little
sweet potato, whom they called 'Yam.' Of course, they wanted the best
for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They
warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get
accidentally mashed and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,'
and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.

Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a
rotten potato out of her! But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home
and become a Couch Potato, either. She would get plenty of exercise and
lift weights so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins. When
she began to travel, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the
Hard Boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France. And when
she went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get
scalloped. Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and
wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from
the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the
trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.'

Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University)
so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips. But in spite
of all they did for her, one day Yam came home and announced she was
going to marry Tom Brokaw. Tom Brokaw!

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn't
possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just a... Common Tater.

 

[InnocentAngel81]

Re: What are they doing ??????

oh wow that is um wow

 

[DevilBoy79]

I like it, gotta remember to forwards it to some people

 

[T.H. Oughts]

There are 3 tampons walking down the street, which one is likely to say hello to you first?


None of them, they are all stuck up cunts.

 

[BlazeofLife]

ROFLMAO

Blaze