Fun With Explosives: Dead Whale Meets Guys Wearing Hardhats

[shereads]

Inspired by your suggested solutions for a clogged drainpipe, which have graduated beyond basic household tools and now include aircraft fuel and matches (special thanks to scheherazade_79), I feel compelled to inject a note of caution into the Hangout regarding tools and the uses thereof to remove objects.

For news footage of the legendary Oregon Exploding Whale, go to this page and click High or Low Bandwidth. Then hold your nose and run.

"I am probably not guilty of understatement when I say that what follows, on the videotape, is the most wonderful event in the history of the universe."

~ excerpt from Davd Barry's explosive expose in the Miami Herald

http://www.hackstadt.com/features/whale/#evidence

 

[SeaCat]

The sky is falling, the sky is falling. Oh shit get the deoderiser(sp), quick.

Cat

 

[shereads]

Know Your Exploding Whales:

Wikipeda
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exploding_whale

Miami Herald columnist Dave Barry is credited with helping Oregon's exploding whale achieve urban legend status:

I am absolutely not making this incident up; in fact I have it all on videotape. The tape is from a local TV news show in Oregon, which sent a reporter out to cover the removal of a 45-foot, eight-ton dead whale that washed up on the beach. The responsibility for getting rid of the carcass was placed on the Oregon State Highway Division, apparently on the theory that highways and whales are very similar in the sense of being large objects.

So anyway, the highway engineers hit upon the plan -- remember, I am not making this up -- of blowing up the whale with dynamite. The thinking is that the whale would be blown into small pieces, which would be eaten by seagulls, and that would be that. A textbook whale removal.

So they moved the spectators back up the beach, put a half-ton of dynamite next to the whale and set it off.

I am probably not guilty of understatement when I say that what follows, on the videotape, is the most wonderful event in the history of the universe. First you see the whale carcass disappear in a huge blast of smoke and flame. Then you hear the happy spectators shouting "Yayy!" and "Whee!" Then, suddenly, the crowd's tone changes. You hear a new sound like "splud." You hear a woman's voice shouting "Here come pieces of...MY GOD!"

Something smears the camera lens.

Later, the reporter explains: "The humor of the entire situation suddenly gave way to a run for survival as huge chunks of whale blubber fell everywhere." One piece caved in the roof of a car parked more than a quarter of a mile away. Remaining on the beach were several rotting whale sectors the size of condominium units. There was no sign of the seagulls who had no doubt permanently relocated to Brazil.

This is a very sobering videotape. Here at the institute we watch it often, especially at parties. But this is no time for gaiety. This is a time to get hold of the folks at the Oregon State Highway Division and ask them, when they get done cleaning up the beaches, to give us an estimate on the US Capitol.

~ Dave Barry, Miami Herald, 1970

 

[SeaCat]

PMSL

Did the Earth move for you too?

Cat

 

[shereads]

PMSL

Did the Earth move for you too?

Cat

Indeed, I was so shaken up that I felt some IQ points fall off. For the first time in months, I have an urge to get the electric reciprocating saw out of the closet, put on some goggles, and become the Midnight Pruner.

An eye-witness account, from a letter received by perp.com/whale:

"I was there that day, on the dunes, over looking the beach. We were between the whale and parking lot. Parts flew everywhere, with some flying over our heads and as was said, one landed on a car. It took days to get the smell out of our hair and clothes. Everything was very oily. The day they blew the whale is one day I'll always remember.

"I'll not do that again."

That seems wise.

Other letter writers were unimpressed:

"Is it much fun to see an animal explode? Very intelligent!!

"I hope somtimes your girl(or boy-) friend get blown up or roadkilled you gay pig. Then please, send ME a film of it!!"

~ ~ ~

"Dear Sick Moron,

"Have you no taste? A web page about an exploding whale? Grow up for chrissakes!! No one cares about a dynamited whale corpse. Can't you think of some better topic to write a web page on?

"I had always thought that perhaps we, as a people, had gotten past that stage in evolution when we joyfully hacked each other to bits, and laughed about it later over a beer with our friends at the local pub. So what if the thing was dead? There's no need to have such a disgusting and pointedly vulgar page on the web."

~ ~ ~

"Hi. Thanx for the video of the exploding whale."