Fucking while at Christian fellowship retreat

[Emptysodabottle]

Hello! I have a story pitch that came to me while at lunch break today and thought I'd throw it out there if anyone wanted to write something based on it.

The story would start with character Ben waiting to walk down a lone asphalt path somewhere in the mountains, his heart thumping. Stephanie/Steph had spoken to him after the morning sermon and asked him if he wanted accompany her on a short car ride down the path until they reached an area where she could get reception on her phone.

"It'll basically be a short call. Magazine article deadline stuff," she laughed, "But I'd enjoy some company nonetheless."

His heart pounded. Steph was very nice girl, kind to everyone, talented, working her way through college. He had always had a sort of crush on her. And now that Ryan and her had broken up, she was once again a single lady. Though Ben felt his chances weren't too hot, just the knowledge that she was available, the possibility there, made him feel better.

But, he reflected guiltily, that wasn't the core reason his heart was pounding. While he knew Steph was a good woman of God...she didn't let keep her from wearing outfits that she felt looked good on her. From this, he knew that she quite the gorgeous body on her. He'd seen enough that fantasies had started creeping into his mind. And then came those recent rumors....ones about Ryan and her, and what they had tried...

He heard her voice...he looked up and saw her waving, walking down from the conference center towards the path where he waited. Oh god, she was wearing those spandex running pants again...the one that showed off that shapely little butt of hers. He felt himself harden---he was already in trouble.


From there, Ben makes the long trek with her to the car. He sneaks looks at her every now and then. They get to the car and Steph bends down to get something from the backseat, and he can't help but stare. And then she straightens up quickly enough that he's sure he's caught....but strangely, she seems to only smile in reaction, as they get in the car.

They go out to a lonely stretch of road. She makes the call. Small talk. Then she says she knows he's been staring. Then asks straight up if he's hand fantasies...or ever thought about acting on them. Long and short, the rumors were true: she and Ryan had been intimate, he broke it off because he felt too guilty. But she feels one can't give a taste of candy to her and then immediately take it away and expect her to give it up. So Ben is the lucky guy who is conveniently there: to clarify, fucking him wasnot her intention in calling him out, but seeing his own wanton looks, coupled with her remnant thoughts, make things happen. Ben all too willing to let any restraint or caution crumble shortly. He gets to fuck her as she's bent over the car, enjoying his first time, inside the girl of his dreams, hips slapping against that great ass of hers....

 

[Sean Renaud]

It is incredibly rare that I say this to anybody because most people can't write for shit. Clearly you've got a fairly good hand at this though and you already wrote the story other than the sex. I don't know what if anything could be added to this either but it looks DAMN good.

 

[sirhugs]

I agree you have a great start. let it flow...

 

[Tmmldr]

....She makes the call. Small talk. Then she says she knows he's been staring. Then asks straight up if he's hand fantasies...or ever thought about acting on them.....

Then she says...."So you've been thinking bad thoughts about the preacher's daughter?"


LOL I like the misprint "hand fantasies.."

 

[RuzieD]

That's great! I really like the overall premise. There's a lot of potential here. Lots of room to expand too. I can't wait to see some of dialouge.

 

[Emptysodabottle]

If nobody takes up writing it by themselves, I guess I could write it myself. However, I would want help from other writers: editing, suggestions, even some ghostwriting. Could I count on help from you ladies and gentlemen among the repliers?

 

[Sean Renaud]

If nobody takes up writing it by themselves, I guess I could write it myself. However, I would want help from other writers: editing, suggestions, even some ghostwriting. Could I count on help from you ladies and gentlemen among the repliers?

You don't need any help. Go forth and write!

I may have accidently written most of this story already though. It really is quite a good idea and I couldn't help it. My computer ate a chunk of it stupid power outage but still.

 

[Emptysodabottle]

I'll try to see what I can, though I'm open to seeing what others write and maybe just fill in the blanks there instead. Whichever happens first.

 

[thisotherworld]

Can I like this even if I am not Christian?

 

[Sean Renaud]

It's up, it's called Cursed Confessions. It has a twist ending but other than that nothing that should be. . .well anymore offensive than we were already being.

 

[Emptysodabottle]

Well done, Sean. Same story, unique t take.

That being said, I'd still like to see any other takes/help with my own. Inoughta start a contest

 

[Sean Renaud]

I'm aware I wandered off subject a little bit. But other than the non-standard narrative it's really just a few scattered lines that break from what was told.

Also I didn't claim nobody else could write it also, I realized I'd forgotten where I got that one. I'm honestly working on so many things right now that you'd be shocked how often that happens. Sometimes I'll kick around a story for weeks because the charachters refuse to talk. Stephanie is still a bit quiet, but That Man can ramble on for hours. Sometimes it's hard to get the asshole to focus on the story and not the history of how awesome he is. And sometimes like this morning I just pounded out a story in like an hour.

Anyway saw this thread and was like. Oh, yeah, should probably say hi. It'd be rude not to.