Fucking Sleepyhead's Uterus? That'll wake her up.

[shereads]

Is anyone else annoyed by the use of "womb" as a synonym for vagina? Am I mistaken in believing that to be fucked in one's womb would send one to the hospital?

As your patron saint, I beg those of you who subject yourselves to criticism from people like me: use one of the other sixty-seven words for "vagina," or invent one. In the unlikely event that his penis finds itself inside her uterus, at least have the heroine tap him on the shoulder and say, "That's unpleasant. By the way, my liver and some other internal organs are off limits, too."

 

[Arioso]

Can't work the poll

Do I go sit in the corner with a dunce-cap on?

SR, hon, I feel your pain....but do you really want to urge writers to use ANY of the 67 other words for vagina?

I can just see the breakdown of narrative flow when the female lead murmurs huskily (always, always huskily), "Darling, please baby, stroke my coochie snorcher..."



Or maybe I just have weird taste...

Cheers,
AriO

 

[shereads]

Coochie snorcher?

That makes 68.

 

[CharleyH]

well:

#1: a quote from soon to be jailed Martha Stewart
#2 : doesn't make sense
#3 a Jerry spinger episoe I think
#4: what you think i can remember that far back?

 

[Arioso]

Tsk tsk...

Ain't you ever read Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues?

The Little Coochie Snorcher That Could...



AriO

 

[Guest]

I voted for 4, the funniest to me. Yeah, I love it when someone writes about a gal's womb being all aroused or horny. Any movement in mine only ever equaled pain (cramps or contractions). And just knocking on the door (cervix) was enough to instinctively push off from the dick's owner.

Perdita (w/a finally put to pasture womb )

 

[shereads]

Re: Tsk tsk...

If coochie and snorcher can be used separately, that would make 70 synonyms. Unless coochis is an adjective describing her snorcher...

Ain't you ever read Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues?

The Little Coochie Snorcher That Could...



AriO

 

[minsue]

I love the 'womb for rent' in the empty nester household.

 

[Boxlicker101]

I love the 'womb for rent' in the empty nester household.

Technically, that might be correct if she is advfertising her services as a surrogate mother but that would be a rather flippant way to advertise.

 

[minsue]

Technically, that might be correct if she is advfertising her services as a surrogate mother but that would be a rather flippant way to advertise.

I always enjoy that you're so literal, Box. It's truly charming.

- Mindy

 

[shereads]

Technically, that might be correct if she is advfertising her services as a surrogate mother but that would be a rather flippant way to advertise.

Advertising is about getting noticed, Box. Class has nothing to do with it unless the womb is one of the featured "Couples Gifts" in the Nieman Marcus Christmas Catalog.

I wonder if they've thought of offering surrogate mothers?

 

[herecomestherain]

Womb with a view...

"Keep out of my womb Wobert and that goes for you too Walph."

Possible womb mentioning exceptions but under sufferance...he's bragging about the force at which he ejaculates during intercourse and the "target".

The writer writes about fucking with the intention to impregnate, then passing reference to the womb as the intended destination of his sperm maybe acceptable.


Neither of these quicken my pulse as far as erotica go, medical texts perhaps?

 

[Arioso]

Brave New World

Ooohhhh, SR darlin'....

Neiman Marcus will eventually catch up.

You really can shop for anything online:
Surrogate Mother's Inc.

I think Claude Levi-Strauss will need to re-write his monograph on systems of exchange and kinship networks....

 

[shereads]

Re: Brave New World

Ooohhhh, SR darlin'....

Neiman Marcus will eventually catch up.

You really can shop for anything online:
Surrogate Mother's Inc.

I think Claude Levi-Strauss will need to re-write his monograph on systems of exchange and kinship networks....

Next: Rent My Womb, the reality television series. I'm thinking Fox Network.

Herecomes, I agree that a powerful stream of semen ejected from Maurice's firehose-like male organ might easily make an impact on Consuelo's uterus. Additionally, he might bump into her cervix just as one knocks politely to announce one's entrance. But to actually have intercourse with Consuelo's uterus would be dangerous, would it not?

I think Consuelo and Maurice should have professional counseling before he tries to rearrange her womb, or worse yet, moves in permanently.

If Maurice is allowed a foot in the door, he'll turn the womb into a TV den. Consuelo thinks of her womb as a private retreat. There are things that shouldn't be shared by any couple. Toothbrushes. His spleen.

 

[herecomestherain]

Virginia would love it..

A "Womb of One's Own" ?...shereads, stop I beg you...I've choked down and snorted up enough tea to drown my keyboard.

Christ I can just see it now, Walph, Wobert and Maurice, legs akimbo, furrowed brows, heads shaking,arguing vigorously about the colour scheme for the the TV den on "Womb Makeover."

 

[shereads]

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is one of my favorite programs. If the Fab Five want to give my uterus a makeover, though, they'd damn well better sketch out their ideas in advance.

Tea won't hurt your keyboard. Diet Coke will, and it's tough on the sinuses too.

 

[The_Fool]

Re: Womb with a view...

"Keep out of my womb Wobert and that goes for you too Walph."

Wasn't that a quote from Monty Python's "Life of Brian?"

 

[shereads]

Re: Re: Womb with a view...

Wasn't that a quote from Monty Python's "Life of Brian?"

Thwow him to the fwoowr, thentowian. Vewy woughwy.

 

[herecomestherain]

You mean Bwian?

 

[shereads]

You mean Bwian?

Siwence, you wapscawwion.

 

[herecomestherain]

sheweads, you're so cwuel....weally, weally cwuel...wapscawwion? I wesent that! But not really.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

LOL...glad I'm sleepless and read through this entire thread. Giggling in the dark.

Giggles in the dark are good.
Men in any of my wombs are bad.

~lucky

 

[herecomestherain]

lucky-E-eleven, my face aches from laughing and my kids think I'm insane....siwence you wapscawwion...there are tears my eyes.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

lucky-E-eleven, my face aches from laughing and my kids think I'm insane....siwence you wapscawwion...there are tears my eyes.

My kid thinks I'm insane no matter what I'm doing. She'd probably be glad to see me laughing with tears in my eyes.

Nothing like siwencing wapscawwions to get one started.

~lucky (laughing again. wiww it nevew end?)

One of my personal favs is from the Princess Bride.

"Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam wiffin a dweam... "

 

[herecomestherain]

Of course we know they're only getting mawwied so he can get work his wormly way into her womb!

Dweam wiffin a dweam...chuckle,chortle,giggle,snort... fall to the floor...