"Fucking my limp cock"

[Icingsugar]

That's a line from a poem i just submitted...

...as Non-Erotic, cause it has very little to do with sex and isn't supposed to be arousing. At least not in that way.

Did I do bad?

What do you think, can a poem here contain words and themes like that and still be categorised as NE?

 

[WickedEve]

Out of context, it sounds like porn poetry. But if you were to say "She took all my money and asked me for a dollar. Greedy bitch once again fucking my limp cock when she walked out the door with my wallet." So yeah, it can be non erotic.

 

[Icingsugar]

Out of context, it sounds like porn poetry. But if you were to say "She took all my money and asked me for a dollar. Greedy bitch once again fucking my limp cock when she walked out the door with my wallet." So yeah, it can be non erotic.

Not quite. But in a way. But quite the opposite. Or something.

Anyway, it'll be up for grabs soon. I'll link my sig for the curious...

 

[destinie21]

go for the phrase ice. I've twisted words and phrases around often enough with my slam style pieces and as long as it flows with the attitude of the poem it should be okay.

 

[LeatherCandle]

I wrote a non-erotic poem that made reference to a guy jerking off and it seemed to fit alright in context. It really is a non-erotic poem, just that one part, out of context, could make it seem otherwise.

 

[LeatherCandle]

I wrote a non-erotic poem that made reference to a guy jerking off and it seemed to fit alright in context. It really is a non-erotic poem, just that one part, out of context, could make it seem otherwise.

 

[perks]

I think if the main point of your poem is to arouse sexually, it's erotic. If your point is life experience, sex can be a part of that, but not the focus. Ultimately, it's up to you. I think you did fine. One phrase does not make a poem, and if it does, the poem needs some editing.

 

[Angeline]

I wrote a non-erotic poem that made reference to a guy jerking off and it seemed to fit alright in context. It really is a non-erotic poem, just that one part, out of context, could make it seem otherwise.

What Perks said. She has a good eye for poetry--actually she kinda has a scary eye at the moment, but that's a tangent.

A poem is as much the sum of its parts as anything else, right? The point is not whether a particular word or phrase is erotic or whatever, but whether it furthers what you're trying to do with the poem. I don't much worry about the erotic/nonerotic labels here anyway--it's too subjective. If you think the phrase works in your poem, it's good.

 

[Rybka]

My assessment mirrors that of most of the people on this forum. Eroticism is like beauty. It is what you choose it to be. And words belong in a poem if they work for you and you want them there.

Now that being said, The preferences of the general readers of erotic poetry on Literotica seem to lean towards graphic or blunt language. You will get many more reads and votes if your poem is full of "clit", "dick", "cunt", and so on instead of more creative allusions, but you will not get as good a poem IMHO.

Regards, Rybka

 

[Angeline]

You will get many more reads and votes if your poem is full of "clit", "dick", "cunt", and so on instead of more creative allusions, but you will not get as good a poem IMHO.

So true, Rybka. And writing for votes is imo a bad idea for producing a poem, if for no other reason than you'll likely be disappointed. Voters can--as we all know--be a fickle audience. People give high score cause it's a friend's poem or give you a low score so their poem is ranked higher--all kinds of silliness. Feedback here or via email is a better indicator.

I have no problem with explicit language in a poem if there's a good reason--if it makes the poem work. It rarely does though--in and of itself, it usually makes for a boring poem.

 

[Kate.E]

Similar to what Man with the Plan said to Jimmy ‘The Saint’ Tosina in ‘Things to do in Denver when you’re Dead’ (Gary Felder, 1995).

I know other useless stuff too.

 

[Angeline]

I know other useless stuff too.

And yet you're extraordinarily interesting overall.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I know other useless stuff too.

She also knows other very useful stuff, although I'm quite sure some of it is illegal, or at least ought to be.

 

[Icingsugar]

Oh, you mean really useful stuff?

 

[weed]

Funny...I see some non-erotic poetry that I would consider erotic not because of the type of line you quoted here but because of the sentiment expressed. They are not necessarily explicit but have a subtlety to them that I think makes the author feel they don't quite fit the erotic category.

Likewise, or perhaps opposingly, some explicit allusions to sex can be non-erotic...such as yours.

Nothing wrong with that.