Fuck Christians. Jesus Too, AND the Horse Who Rode Him in.

[LadyFunkenstein]

(Except the Unitarian universalists; I can co-exist with them. )

Recently I visited my oldest and bestest friend from my home state. I knew he became one of those crazy protestants (Non-snake-dancing Pentecostal I think) but he never lectured me so I saw no need to assert my opinion to him.

While driving around in his car, the other shoe finally dropped. He decided to “witness” to me. He wanted to save my soul.

"Now that I have accepted Jesus Christ into my heart blah blah blah." While he blathered, I started to think again about how I really need a watch with a brown strap. I have black, I have sterling silver, and for some reason a Red Hat Society watch band. I don’t even know what that is. But no brown. I wear a lot of brown. Hell, I AM brown. I should maybe buy one.

He finished. If he weren’t my best friend, I would have really gone cunty and blasphemous on him. something like, "Christ on a cracker, you are fucked in the head!" But instead I asked him a few questions.

Me: Do you really believe that everyone on the planet who isn’t a Christian is going to burn in hell for all eternity?

Him: Well, yes I do. Because if you aren’t saved, you can’t get into heaven.

Me: So then, you really believe that this little sliver of Europe who came up with this whole religious notion is correct, and the rest of the planet will burn in hell if they don’t agree?

Him: Well, yes. It comes down to my faith in the lord Jesus Christ.

Me: So what you are saying is, all of the people of color on this planet, who are the majority of people on this planet, are doomed to be tortured for all eternity unless they follow what Anglo society – or should I say white people - believes? (He is black.) Heathens… countries were very lucky to have the British come in and take over their society?

Him: (Long pause) I am saying that I have accepted Jesus as my personal savior blah blah blah.

I dropped it, even though I could have kept going.

How do you Christians wrap your heads around the ridiculous smug superiority, manifest destiny type crap inherent in your take-over-the-world message? Yet point the finger at Muslims? Do you really think your little sliver of society trumps the rest of the planet?

And let’s not even get into the hypocrisy of the whole do as I say, not as I do lifestyle so many have.

 

[J.B.]

I got one of those lectures once.
From an uncle through marriage -on the DAY MY GRANDFATHER PASSED. I wasn't very nice to him when he tried to save my soul.
If I would've been even remotely coherent I would've probably said I was a satanist just to see him have heart failure.

 

[JustSkye]

Good post, Lady.

I don't believe I'm any better than anyone else and I don't believe a man can tell me where I'll end up. No one truly knows. I do know I'll be taking a long dirt nap. I don't like it when people of faith, religion or whatever think they know every single thing about God, Jesus, and whatever else they believe in, enough to tell me that I'm going to rot in hell, not see a ressurection, or that children will suffer the same fate, because we're not 'saved' or baptised.
Not only that, how do you baptize a child, when the whole point of baptism is to shed old habits, bad ways, and become a new person and devote your life to being Christ-like? That's an awful lot ot ask of a child who has yet to experience life or it's pit falls.

I question a lot of things about religion. Everyone should.

 

[somberReality]

I've had Jehovah Witnesses the last two weeks at my door. Maybe i should do the whole "I'm a satanist and am looking for human sacrifices" line to get them to leave me be.

 

[CicatrixESP]

This mentality infests most of the world's major religions. Personally I find it fundamentalist. I've heard tell that U.S. is the world's most religiously fundamentalist nation; perhaps it's that demographic that you see and hear most of the time.

I'm an atheist..or at least I used to be...I suppose I'm entertaining agnosticism (I realize you don't care, but I don't want you to think I'm a religious tart rationalizing your thread).

Truth be told, the some of best, morally conscious people I know are practicing Christians--Orthodox in fact. Be careful not to use the same wide brush painting Christians as your friend uses to paint non-Christians.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

Good post, Lady.

I don't believe I'm any better than anyone else and I don't believe a man can tell me where I'll end up. No one truly knows. I do know I'll be taking a long dirt nap. I don't like it when people of faith, religion or whatever think they know every single thing about God, Jesus, and whatever else they believe in, enough to tell me that I'm going to rot in hell, not see a ressurection, or that children will suffer the same fate, because we're not 'saved' or baptised.
Not only that, how do you baptize a child, when the whole point of baptism is to shed old habits, bad ways, and become a new person and devote your life to being Christ-like? That's an awful lot ot ask of a child who has yet to experience life or it's pit falls.

I question a lot of things about religion. Everyone should.

This is part of why I can live with Unitarian Universalists. You can draw your faith from a variety of sources, they believe it is all valid for source material. I am not rushing to join, but IF (a really BIG IF) I interested in joining a congregation of some sort, this is what it would be.

From uua.org:

There are seven principles which Unitarian Universalist congregations affirm and promote:

* The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
* Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
* Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
* A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;
* The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;
* The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;
* Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

 

[Hester]

you'd look awesome in a red alligator skin watch band.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

This mentality infests most of the world's major religions. Personally I find it fundamentalist. I've heard tell that U.S. is the world's most religiously fundamentalist nation; perhaps it's that demographic that you see and hear most of the time.

I'm an atheist..or at least I used to be...I suppose I'm entertaining agnosticism (I realize you don't care, but I don't want you to think I'm a religious tart rationalizing your thread).

Truth be told, the some of best, morally conscious people I know are practicing Christians--Orthodox in fact. Be careful not to use the same wide brush painting Christians as your friend uses to paint non-Christians.

Ask your friends whether they believe all non-Christians will burn in hell if they don't get on board the Jesus train.

Christians are no more and no less moral than everyone else. But they believe that if a person has the utmost moral character, dedicating themselves to helping others,saving lives and caring for the poor, s/he will still burn in hell if they aren't a believer in Christ. That's bullshit.

 

[moana15]

I don't get Christianity. I get ones like Pentacostals less than say, Methodists, but I have a hard time thinking that in a world where people speak an enormous number of different languages, live completely different cultures should believe the same thing.

That said, if it means something to someone, I'll leave them alone unless they insist on trying to get me to see things their way.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

you'd look awesome in a red alligator skin watch band.

You are one of the two people on Lit who knows who I am talking about and why such it ignored me but I was nice.

And I don't wear a lot of red. But still have the hat, will bring it out again next summer.

 

[Paendragon]

(Except the Unitarian universalists; I can co-exist with them. )

I'm an Agnostic. But I speak with God daily. We both agree . . . you've got great tits.

 

[CicatrixESP]

Ask your friends whether they believe all non-Christians will burn in hell if they don't get on board the Jesus train.

Christians are no more and no less moral than everyone else. But they believe that if a person has the utmost moral character, dedicating themselves to helping others,saving lives and caring for the poor, s/he will still burn in hell if they aren't a believer in Christ. That's bullshit.

I have. I've had plenty of discussions regarding the topic. I didn't imply that Christians were more moral than anyone else; I said these people that I'm acquainted with are morally conscious--there's no exclusion there. But I would say, that alone should imply they don't believe people should burn in hell if that person doesn't beleive in Christ. As an atheist, that question was on the top of the list of discussions.

 

[hummermania]

Unfortunately the uua will eventually fuck it up as bad as everyone else has. Sooner or later the power struggles, money, ego, and self promotion, will reduce the organization to the same level as any other faith based group.
Tis human nature.
And yep, US is reputed to be the largest Fundie group in the world.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

(Except the Unitarian universalists; I can co-exist with them. )

Recently I visited my oldest and bestest friend from my home state. I knew he became one of those crazy protestants (Non-snake-dancing Pentecostal I think) but he never lectured me so I saw no need to assert my opinion to him.

While driving around in his car, the other shoe finally dropped. He decided to “witness” to me. He wanted to save my soul.

"Now that I have accepted Jesus Christ into my heart blah blah blah." While he blathered, I started to think again about how I really need a watch with a brown strap. I have black, I have sterling silver, and for some reason a Red Hat Society watch band. I don’t even know what that is. But no brown. I wear a lot of brown. Hell, I AM brown. I should maybe buy one.

He finished. If he weren’t my best friend, I would have really gone cunty and blasphemous on him. something like, "Christ on a cracker, you are fucked in the head!" But instead I asked him a few questions.

Me: Do you really believe that everyone on the planet who isn’t a Christian is going to burn in hell for all eternity?

Him: Well, yes I do. Because if you aren’t saved, you can’t get into heaven.

Me: So then, you really believe that this little sliver of Europe who came up with this whole religious notion is correct, and the rest of the planet will burn in hell if they don’t agree?

Him: Well, yes. It comes down to my faith in the lord Jesus Christ.

Me: So what you are saying is, all of the people of color on this planet, who are the majority of people on this planet, are doomed to be tortured for all eternity unless they follow what Anglo society – or should I say white people - believes? (He is black.) Heathens… countries were very lucky to have the British come in and take over their society?

Him: (Long pause) I am saying that I have accepted Jesus as my personal savior blah blah blah.

I dropped it, even though I could have kept going.

How do you Christians wrap your heads around the ridiculous smug superiority, manifest destiny type crap inherent in your take-over-the-world message? Yet point the finger at Muslims? Do you really think your little sliver of society trumps the rest of the planet?

And let’s not even get into the hypocrisy of the whole do as I say, not as I do lifestyle so many have.

Love it. Agree with it too. I like the UU's, myself.

 

[kotori]

Agnostics are all going to hell. A hell of their own making. Believe in something or believe in nothing. Don't believe in "maybe."

 

[Paendragon]

Agnostics are all going to hell. A hell of their own making. Believe in something or believe in nothing. Don't believe in "maybe."

I believe you can blow me.

 

[Left_Nut]

I don't get Christianity. I get ones like Pentacostals less than say, Methodists, but I have a hard time thinking that in a world where people speak an enormous number of different languages, live completely different cultures should believe the same thing.

That said, if it means something to someone, I'll leave them alone unless they insist on trying to get me to see things their way.

Now where is the ralian poster.

 

[pointless]

i actually have nothing against christianity i just hate the massive hypocrisy of 99% of all people who call themselves christians. if you want to be a christian and live by the moral code espoused in the bible rock on. if you wanna just call yourself a christian and behave like an asshole and then shit on me for saying god damn it then you can go fuck yourself.

also, christians by custom can all suck a dick. you aren't a christian because your parents told you were, you shithead. you're a christian because you actually believe in the principles of the christian religion and try your damnedest to adhere to them.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Believe in something or believe in nothing.

You can't "believe" in nothing.

Why don't thesists value anything unless it's something so invisible, intangible, and unavailable that it can only exist with "belief"? You'd think there'd be a big Church of Tinkerbell somewhere.

 

[HeavyStick]

I believe in anal sex. It's righteous, it feels good, so I'm getting into heaven. Even if it take s a little lube.

Faith is a tricky/dangerous subject.

Is faith what we need to get into a pleasant afterlife? Are we in our afterlife? Is faith a distraction we created to keep us from thinking of the negative things in our current life?

Forget 72 virgins, I want 4 filthy (disease free) sluts to toss my salad and fix me a sandwich after some all night antics.

 

[Hester]

You are one of the two people on Lit who knows who I am talking about and why such it ignored me but I was nice.

And I don't wear a lot of red. But still have the hat, will bring it out again next summer.

i'm sorry he put you in that position.

what i find most interesting is that even though i live in the bible belt, i don't get hounded by the hyperconversionalistic fundies that i met in other places in the country. no one here has ever tried to save me.

we should go out on the town one night dressed all in red like the whores we are.

 

[Drinking Cap]

Sigh. Why do you have to say such mean things about such a nice mensch like Jesus, just because some wacky followers of his thought he was the son of God?

 

[richard_daily]

(Except the Unitarian universalists; I can co-exist with them. )

Recently I visited my oldest and bestest friend from my home state. I knew he became one of those crazy protestants (Non-snake-dancing Pentecostal I think) but he never lectured me so I saw no need to assert my opinion to him.

While driving around in his car, the other shoe finally dropped. He decided to “witness” to me. He wanted to save my soul.

"Now that I have accepted Jesus Christ into my heart blah blah blah." While he blathered, I started to think again about how I really need a watch with a brown strap. I have black, I have sterling silver, and for some reason a Red Hat Society watch band. I don’t even know what that is. But no brown. I wear a lot of brown. Hell, I AM brown. I should maybe buy one.

He finished. If he weren’t my best friend, I would have really gone cunty and blasphemous on him. something like, "Christ on a cracker, you are fucked in the head!" But instead I asked him a few questions.

Me: Do you really believe that everyone on the planet who isn’t a Christian is going to burn in hell for all eternity?

Him: Well, yes I do. Because if you aren’t saved, you can’t get into heaven.

Me: So then, you really believe that this little sliver of Europe who came up with this whole religious notion is correct, and the rest of the planet will burn in hell if they don’t agree?

Him: Well, yes. It comes down to my faith in the lord Jesus Christ.

Me: So what you are saying is, all of the people of color on this planet, who are the majority of people on this planet, are doomed to be tortured for all eternity unless they follow what Anglo society – or should I say white people - believes? (He is black.) Heathens… countries were very lucky to have the British come in and take over their society?

Him: (Long pause) I am saying that I have accepted Jesus as my personal savior blah blah blah.

I dropped it, even though I could have kept going.

How do you Christians wrap your heads around the ridiculous smug superiority, manifest destiny type crap inherent in your take-over-the-world message? Yet point the finger at Muslims? Do you really think your little sliver of society trumps the rest of the planet?

And let’s not even get into the hypocrisy of the whole do as I say, not as I do lifestyle so many have.

I think black is a better color combo with silver...
However, I am quite a fan of earth-tones... but seriously... who wears a fucking watch anymore? We have clocks on our phones, mp3 players, pretty soon they'll be implanted into our brains.

That's it, I'm getting a pager... fuck all y'all.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

I think black is a better color combo with silver...
However, I am quite a fan of earth-tones... but seriously... who wears a fucking watch anymore? We have clocks on our phones, mp3 players, pretty soon they'll be implanted into our brains.

That's it, I'm getting a pager... fuck all y'all.

A pager? Welcome to 1985!

PS: Edward Norton is the hottest man on the planet.

PPS: Fuck Jesus again, in case anyone missed it

 

[richard_daily]

A pager? Welcome to 1985!

PS: Edward Norton is the hottest man on the planet.

PPS: Fuck Jesus again, in case anyone missed it

Wait, what was that? Let me get some change and call you back from a payphone...

I'll hit you back with my voicemail number.

PS. You're fucking crazy

PPS. Crazy like a fox.