frustration

[curvacious]

I'm not looking to chat so need to any private messages.
Just want to rant and get rid of some of my frustration. Not really BDSM related but I don't need all the BS of the general board.

Went off birth control end of January to start trying to get pregnant and WOW my sex drive is way heightened. PYL and I would be lucky to have done it once a month for the 2 previous years. Now I'm horny most of the time and for about 2 weeks of every month could use sex at least once daily if not twice. I told PYL this (and maybe I wasn't clear enough, he's a guy). When I'm horniest I drive by guys on my way to work and think "I'd like to follow him and fuck". I don't ever plan on doing this but I can totally see how easily it could happen for some. If some of my ex's were nearby and asked to meet there's no way I could cause I don't think I would have the self restraint. PYL is overworked and is not happy about his body at the moment so very rarely initiates sex and turns me down often. He states he likes sex with me and says he wants a kid but i can't figure out why things suck so much. Tonight about 8:30 I asked if he wanted sex and he said no he was going to bed soon (bed is usually 10pm). He even asked when I thought I would be ovulating and i said "any day, including today". I got nothing. What the hell is wrong??? Says he likes sex and wants a baby. Here I am offering and telling him i maybe ovulating and all I get is "i'm going to bed soon". WTF!!!??? All I want is a good fuck---doesn't even have to be a marathon.

Thanks all for letting me rant for a bit. Afterall, it's not something I'm just wanting to blog about on facebook/myspace where family can see.

 

[Desiree_sub]

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[VelvetDarkness]

He may be a little overwhelmed by your sudden spike in sex drive. Men are comfortable with having a higher sex drive than their woman but suddenly not being able to keep up can be a blow to a guy's self esteem. If your man already feels bad about his body and his work situation I can see why he's got a little shell-shocked and retreated rather than met you half way. His confidence as your PYL may really have been dented by this, men are just special that way.

There are other ways you can initiate than asking for sex. Few men can resist a woman begging to suck his cock or you could run him a bath, wash him and then offer to massage the tension out of his spine and see where that leads you. If there are service-oriented things you can do to make his workday less stressful like ironing his shirt and preparing his lunch, do those things and remind him that no matter how often you want to fuck these days, you are still his pyl and he is still in charge of the dynamic.

He's obviously lost his inner dom right now. Your best chance of the sex you want is to help him regain his feelings of power and control over you. Try to offer or initiate sex in ways that don't make him feel like the pyl.

Although he says he wants a baby and you know him far better than I do, it may be a good idea to make absolutely sure he's not getting cold feet. As the current economic climate is so crappy and he's already stressed at work, he may be having second thoughts about the timing of a pregnancy and keeping them to himself for fear of disappointing you and/or reneging on an agreement to have a child.

Just my thoughts.

 

[MisterSir]

I told PYL this (and maybe I wasn't clear enough, he's a guy).

HAH! I get it cause guys are dumb!

PYL is overworked and is not happy about his body at the moment so very rarely initiates sex and turns me down often. He states he likes sex with me and says he wants a kid but i can't figure out why things suck so much. Tonight about 8:30 I asked if he wanted sex and he said no he was going to bed soon (bed is usually 10pm). He even asked when I thought I would be ovulating and i said "any day, including today". I got nothing. What the hell is wrong??? Says he likes sex and wants a baby. Here I am offering and telling him i maybe ovulating and all I get is "i'm going to bed soon". WTF!!!??? All I want is a good fuck---doesn't even have to be a marathon.

Aren't you the selfish one? Rather than acting like a human-rabbit hybrid who's been forcefed quaaludes, consider his feelings. He's overworked. He's got poor body image. It's quite possible he doesn't want to bring a child into the world right now for one of many reasons, but apparently you're too caught up in your "wanna fuck need a fuck i'm the only person who exists" haze to think about that. Women seem to be fond of quoting Robin Williams and accusing us of only having enough blood to work one thing at a time, but on this showing I'm not sure he was talking about the right gender.

Nobody can blame you if you choose to leave the relationship or find yaslef a lover.

I'd certainly try. This relationship has been going long enough that bringing a kid into the world is a viable option, so dropping it or cheating on him because he's gone off sex is blameworthy as it is.

 

[Cattypuss]

Could it be that faced with the reality of possible conception he's less sure about wanting a kid? But doesn't want to admit it to you (or even to himself)?

 

[subwannabe]

I think you've got some excellent responses. I also might ad that you are making this a little too mechanical. Don't say anything, just put on a terrific sexy outfit and seduce him. Better yet, go out somewhere in public with him like shopping, dinner, etc and put on a sexy outfit like a short skirt, dress, etc and show some good cleavage - no not a hint - show some real cleavage. This would turn me on enough that when we got home I would want to fuck your brains out. Remember, guys are visual, guys want to be seduced, guys want to approached by that slutty babe. We can't resist it. We are already hard wired for it.

 

[MisterSir]

I think you've got some excellent responses. I also might ad that you are making this a little too mechanical. Don't say anything, just put on a terrific sexy outfit and seduce him. Better yet, go out somewhere in public with him like shopping, dinner, etc and put on a sexy outfit like a short skirt, dress, etc and show some good cleavage - no not a hint - show some real cleavage. This would turn me on enough that when we got home I would want to fuck your brains out. Remember, guys are visual, guys want to be seduced, guys want to approached by that slutty babe. We can't resist it. We are already hard wired for it.

And that accounts for the "braindead idiot male" demographic, thank you. If you'd cared to read it at all, this women appears to be doing everything short of ripping off her own clothes and slathering herself with baby oil at the dinner table and he's not interested, leading me and most people with a functioning brain stem to deduce the issue is not one that can be solved by seduction.

 

[DVS]

This sort of thing really REALLY bugs me. Here I am, looking for someone and not getting anywhere, and I hear somebody is literally offering herself to her PYL and...crickets are chirping! What a moron this guy is.

Fuck, people! What's wrong with this picture? Did I already mention that this guy is a moron? This is one fucked up world, I'll tell you that. Come for a visit. I've been without a partner for so damn long...well, let's just say you won't be turned down, if you want some attention. You won't even have to ask nicely. LOL. Shit, just smile at me and I'll take it from there. SHIT, you wouldn't even have to smile.

I LOVE KIDS! How's this weekend looking for you? I can pencil you in, no problem. OK, OK, I'm not proud, how about tonight?

Turn down a woman for sex? God...I'm dying here!

 

[JMohegan]

I'm not looking to chat so need to any private messages.
Just want to rant and get rid of some of my frustration. Not really BDSM related but I don't need all the BS of the general board.

Went off birth control end of January to start trying to get pregnant and WOW my sex drive is way heightened. PYL and I would be lucky to have done it once a month for the 2 previous years. Now I'm horny most of the time and for about 2 weeks of every month could use sex at least once daily if not twice. I told PYL this (and maybe I wasn't clear enough, he's a guy). When I'm horniest I drive by guys on my way to work and think "I'd like to follow him and fuck". I don't ever plan on doing this but I can totally see how easily it could happen for some. If some of my ex's were nearby and asked to meet there's no way I could cause I don't think I would have the self restraint. PYL is overworked and is not happy about his body at the moment so very rarely initiates sex and turns me down often. He states he likes sex with me and says he wants a kid but i can't figure out why things suck so much. Tonight about 8:30 I asked if he wanted sex and he said no he was going to bed soon (bed is usually 10pm). He even asked when I thought I would be ovulating and i said "any day, including today". I got nothing. What the hell is wrong??? Says he likes sex and wants a baby. Here I am offering and telling him i maybe ovulating and all I get is "i'm going to bed soon". WTF!!!??? All I want is a good fuck---doesn't even have to be a marathon.

Thanks all for letting me rant for a bit. Afterall, it's not something I'm just wanting to blog about on facebook/myspace where family can see.

Let's turn this around for a second. Imagine that you're the one who's feeling overworked, overstressed, struggling to find the motivation for exercise or preparation of healthy meals, embarrassed about the changes in your body and just plain exhausted all the time...... and your husband's spending his days bitchin' about not getting enough sex, and drooling over random tail on the street. How would you feel about that?

WTF indeed.

Back to the situation, as presented - instead of making this all about you and your unsatisfied horniness, perhaps it would help to focus on your husband, and the source of his stress and exhaustion. Is there anything you can do to take over some of his responsibilities, cut expenses to enable a reduction in hours worked, shop for healthy but delicious food to improve his diet, set aside time for exercise that's fun rather than tedious, and so on?

 

[subwannabe]

That was well said J. Might or might not work but it was well said anyway. It would be a different story if the genders had been reversed.

 

[Desiree_sub]

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[Desiree_sub]

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[BiBunny]

I think it's very likely he feels like a baby-making machine instead of a partner. You get off birth control because you want to have a kid, and you suddenly want to have sex all the time. Perhaps in his mind, the desire to fuck like bunnies is not because you desire him so much, but because you desire his sperm so much. The "Are you ovulating?" question is revealing to me, for that very reason.

He probably thinks you don't want him. You just want a kid, and he's being used as the vehicle to accomplish this. I've seen it happen over and over.

Maybe forget the child business for awhile and work on your relationship with one another. Do you really want to bring a kid into the world whose Dad resents his Mom because he thinks she views him as an on-demand sperm donor?

 

[MisterSir]

If it was a MAN/PYL sayin that his girl don't wanna have sex with him, she would be the bitch and he would be the one who suffer. But when its a woman saying that her man don't wanna fuck her good and that she needs it, its bitching.

...doesn't really support your point. It points out a double standard, but she's still acting like an ungrateful bitch in putting her cunt before everything.

 

[Desiree_sub]

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[BiBunny]

Who else should she ask for the fuck if not him? Whose sperm should be used for THEIR kid if not his?

OMG he should be happy about it and not feel like on-demand sperm donor! Sperm is NOT that hard to get really. If she wanted "just" the sperm, she could get it with just anyone.

Sex should be normal part of every healthy relationship! She wants her man and he refuse to give her. She tells him she want him and he refuse to fuck her?!

Its WRONG period!!!

No, believe it or not, all men aren't just walking hard-ons. Some of them want to be desired for something other than reproduction. You're completely missing the point here. His emotional needs are just as important as her physical ones. Anyone who denies that is a fucking dumbass.

 

[WriterDom]

Yep sucks to be single. I'd be happy to give a women sex 21 times a week or more. I'd cum 15 times in 48 hours with t. And her fucking sister warned her not to expect much out of me sexually. I'd like to SHOW her but I guess there is a unwritten law about fucking sisters. She's out west anyway.

 

[Desiree_sub]

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[WriterDom]

There are couples who just completely give up on sex in any form.

 

[Desiree_sub]

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[Desiree_sub]

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[WriterDom]

I'll be groping the nurses in the nursing home when I'm 85.

 

[JMohegan]

Why you think she's putting her cunt before everything? Because she's upset that her PYL don't wanna fuck her? OMG I would be upset too!!!

When you are with someone you need them, want them, crave them and you expect them to crave, need and want you right back! Its normal. So of course she's frustrated. She wants him, but he don't want her. Thats not normal. He SHOULD want sex with her. Tired or not. We all work omg, we all got tired!

Sorry, but the "I am tired" is poor excuse for no sex. You can tell me "I am tired" once or twice, but then I wanna fuck. lol

Whether or not he should want sex, it seems clear that he does not. So the question becomes: why?

Whether you label her response bitchy selfishness or a reasonable expression of frustration, the fact remains. As a practical matter, dealing with the source of his disinterest is the only way to resolve this problem within the relationship itself.

 

[MisterSir]

OMG he should be happy about it and not feel like on-demand sperm donor! Sperm is NOT that hard to get really. If she wanted "just" the sperm, she could get it with just anyone.

Sex should be normal part of every healthy relationship! She wants her man and he refuse to give her. She tells him she want him and he refuse to fuck her?!

Its WRONG period!!!

You really are quite offensively stupid.

 

[BiBunny]

You really are quite offensively stupid.

*Snort*