frustration over the day of silence

[myinnerslut]

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[intothewoods]

[rant] A is annoyed with me for doing the day of silence (that and i cant talk with him on the phone till 8 o'clock tonight). if he ordered me not to i'd be torn... the first time his orders would conflict with my personal morals. good thing hes not going down that ruote. instead hes trying to convince me (via aim) that it wont make a difference and it is pointess to raise awareness among people who are propably already aware that the world isnt always exactly fair to those who are GLBT. im doing it anyway. [/rant]

for those of you who are unaware of what im speaking: DAY OF SILENCE, April 18, 2007: The Day of Silence is an annual event held to bring attention to anti-LGBT bullying, harassment and discrimination in schools. Students and teachers nationwide will observe the day in silence to echo the silence that LGBT and ally students face everyday. In it's 11th year, the Day of Silence is one of the largest student-led actions in the country.

I'm sorry, MIS. Maybe if you continue to stress to him that it's important to you, whether or not it makes a difference in the short term, that might help? He isn't ordering you not to do it. He's probably just frustrated that he can't talk to you.

 

[myinnerslut]

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[intothewoods]

he said he wants me to not want to do it, not just for me not to do it, and therefore he wont order me to do it. he also said i am being stubborn, acting stupid, not going to make a difference, and am wasting time with a useless idea. ARG! im very frustrated right now, rarely do we openly disagree about something like this. and it isnt even the message hes protesting (he has no problem with BLBT and im bi-curious myself) just the protest itself!

No, I get exactly what he's saying, because I've said stuff like that myself about campus protests, for example. If you're not protesting something specific to campus, why protest at all? The people you want to reach won't be aware of your actions. But I came to realize that movements start small and grow over time, and that society can change that way. I think I was looking to the short term, immediate impact, which might be insignificant, but not looking to the long term.

Above all, he's entitled to his point of view, and you are entitled to yours.

 

[lne_iii]

Damn, that's today?

It always sneaks up on me.

I'd participate but I have to work.

o.0

 

[catalina_francisco]

I don't know anything about the day.....I take it, it is US specific? Regardless, I don't think such protests should be just about results, but also in showing support and respect for those affected by the discrimination. If he has a problem with it which extends enough to not being able to peacefully accept your choice in this matter and attempt to understand and respect your own feelings on why you feel it important, I would definately talk more about it in the near future as such differences can cause huge issues long term. Thankfully, where politics and rights are concerned, F and I are pretty much on the same page and even if I wanted to take place in something which he felt was futile, I doubt he would make a huge issue out of it simply because he would understand why I felt I had to do it.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/183/423232376_37b59e0105_s.jpg Catalina

 

[myinnerslut]

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[Chicklet]

I don't know anything about the day.....

yeah i only heard anything about it yesterday. nobody i know in portland is participating or even knew anything about it...

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[myinnerslut]

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[catalina_francisco]

i work three days a week for three hours each time, i spoke during that, and during one of my more difficult classes this evening, but for the rest of the day i was silent

Hmm, perhaps this is the source of his annoyance with you then. It might seem to him you do not see him as important enough to make the same exceptions you have made for classes. Though it is not quite the same, in terms of Dominants it could be seen to be, and also be a metaphorical slap in the face if you know what I mean. If your silence had extended throughout the day regardless of the situation, it may have not caused a problem between you, but once you made one exception, it is normal for most people to not understand why you cannot also extend that exception to them if they are meant to be a special person in your life.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/171/461588276_90b38194a7_s.jpg Catalina

 

[Cheshire D]

The thing I understand with Day of Silence is that if the need dictates, you can talk....for things like classes, the need dictates. I had an organizer argue this with me in high school. It pissed me off that he was willing to get his students into trouble. He said it was the "principle of the thing." I can understand it in college...but not in high school. </slightly off-topic rant>

I think I agree with catalina, despite what I just said. It would be kind of irritating to know that someone is talkling in one situation and not talking specifically to me because it's another.

 

[myinnerslut]

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[SweetErika]

for those of you who are unaware of what im speaking: DAY OF SILENCE, April 18, 2007: The Day of Silence is an annual event held to bring attention to anti-LGBT bullying, harassment and discrimination in schools. Students and teachers nationwide will observe the day in silence to echo the silence that LGBT and ally students face everyday. In it's 11th year, the Day of Silence is one of the largest student-led actions in the country.

Okay, perhaps it's the hour or I'm just stupid, but two things about this seem counterintuitive to me:

1) It's about anti-harassment in schools, but the organizers encourage people to talk as necessary during school hours. Even in college, it would have been difficult for me to only talk during classes - I often had to meet with staff, collaborate with fellow students on homework or projects, etc., so I can envision myself not being noticeably silent if I'd observed this day. Wouldn't it be more effective as a campaign for society at large, where everyone is asked not to speak for an entire 24 hours, except as necessary at school or work? It does make sense

2) It does seem stupid to "echo the silence that LGBT and ally students face everyday" with SILENCE. Part of the problem is us (GLBT and -friendly folk) feeling like we're forced into silence for fear of social and occupational repercussions, so it seems silly to increase, or echo something that many of us see as negative, IMO.

I suppose their point is to make people feel how the silence feels, but that doesn't sound more effective than a day where everyone is encouraged to speak out, wear something to show/remind people there are lots of GLBT (friendly) folks in the community, or even people are silent in protest against bullying to me personally. I'd be a lot more inclined to clearly tell/show people I'm observing a day against harassment/for equal treatment than let them guess why I'm not talking to them for a day.


While I do believe you have a right to observe this in accordance with your morals/values, and your Dom should respect things that are very important to you, I can kind of see his points about it not making complete sense. If it was more clear, organized and publicized (this is the first I've heard of it, too, and it's not like I have my head in the sand), I bet it'd gain a lot more ground more quickly.

Hopefully neither you, nor anyone else, takes offense to anything I've said here, as that's not my intention whatsoever. I'm just pointing out some issues I see with the event, and am not putting down anyone who chooses to observe it. I think the principle of observing it is good, but it sounds like the execution leaves something to be desired.

 

[Etoile]

The Day of Silence was created after I left college, so I never had the chance to participate, since it is a mostly school-oriented movement. (Unlike National Coming Out Day, which is recognized by various organizations.) Somehow I get the feeling that it won't happen on my new college campus, since everything is done in sign language anyway...or are you not supposed to sign, either? Maybe somebody in the Rainbow Society can fill me in.

 

[ammre]

I actually posted about this on the GLBT forum here and it got a whopping ZERO replies.

I've helped cordinate the day of silence on my campus for 3 years now. Each year it's gotten bigger. This year we have 30 students doing it. We were all wearing shirts and carrying notes as to why we werent talking. The shirts were sort of a quick solution if someone asked us a question and we couldn't answer. If they still gave us the "WTF?" look we'd hand them the note.

I was working out in the gym with my shirt on and these guys came in and greeted eachother, and i don't know what was said but then i heard "blahblah yeah blah blahstupid blah fucking FAGGOT pieces of shit." I've been made fun of enough in my life to notice the intentional voice raise. That sign that they are trying to play with you and intimidate you by forcing you to overhear their conversation. I can't help but wonder if they were trying to test my silence. They didn't know me well enough. I stopped. Turned around toward them and fixed them with this confused kind of look, then i let pity flash across my face before slowly rolling my eyes and turning back to my elliptical and putting on my headphones. I don't know how they took it but they shut up. I know becasue I didn't put any music on. I sometimes like to walk arround with headphones on and no music, just to see what people will say around me, or to give myself an excuse to ignore people's presence.

So there's homophobis on my campus. A suppossedly liberal arts campus in new jersey...

The way the day of silence makes a point can be explained by wat happened in my digital culture class...
I'm a kiss ass, well no not really, i just like talking a lot in class and no one else does, so they like that I talk a lot becasue then they don't have to. I answer for them. So i show my note to the teacher and he nods to me (when people know you're being silent they oddly stop talking too...), then about 15 minuts of awkard silences, someone asks me why i'm not talking, and the teacher lets them know what's going on. fast forward the next 2.5 hours. It was probably one of the most painful and awkard class for all the students in there. I like to think that at that point they realized how loosing one voice can be a lot.

I know that by reading my shirt, and my note, they have to stop and think about it for a few more minuts then they would have had i not done that. I also work on campus in an office. We had a meeting and while I had lots of ideas I couldn't share them. It made me think about what it must be like to work in an atmosphere of open homophobia where if you are out you can be speaking but still no one will listen.

It was a learning expierence for all, albet a frustrating one.

 

[NemoAlia]

I celebrated this day of silence during the year that I was a classroom teacher. I just planned really well to have everything written down, from the greeting on the board to the assignments.

Had one behavior problem, and dealt with it more physically than I normally would have. This is a moral gray area for me, but glaring and pointing wasn't working, so I put my hand on her shoulder & walked her to my desk where she had to write a note to her parents explaining what had happened and why we were dealing with it in that letter.

Otherwise, things went swimmingly -- in a middle school, even!

I think if I had been a Pre-K teacher, things would have gone very differently.

 

[Etoile]

I saw your thread in GLBT Chatter, ammre. I think the reason this thread took flight and the other did not is the nature of the first post...we all wanted to pile on with our own thoughts.