Frustration for males seeking

[Kneelbeforethealpha]

I would like to make a point that I believe males and possibly females have on here and see what others think.

It seems that determining what the opposite gender truly seeks in a partner either online or in person is not understood. Often times males are led to believe that women seek an intelligent, confident, funny, caring man; but when males post about themselves showing these qualities they hardly recieve any replies either through direct messaging or replies on the post. On the opposite hand if a man appears to be relying on his looks or the sexual acts he either gets told he needs to expand on his other qualities or that he is shallow.

So the question is, is it simply because women are conditioned through societal nod to believe they should seek certain qualities when their own desires tell them else wise? Or do men simply not understand how to market themselves with the qualities they possess?

I only speak for my gender because that's my reference. I'd like to hear others thoughts.

 

[ginsbergian]

I would like to make a point that I believe males and possibly females have on here and see what others think.

It seems that determining what the opposite gender truly seeks in a partner either online or in person is not understood. Often times males are led to believe that women seek an intelligent, confident, funny, caring man; but when males post about themselves showing these qualities they hardly recieve any replies either through direct messaging or replies on the post. On the opposite hand if a man appears to be relying on his looks or the sexual acts he either gets told he needs to expand on his other qualities or that he is shallow.

So the question is, is it simply because women are conditioned through societal nod to believe they should seek certain qualities when their own desires tell them else wise? Or do men simply not understand how to market themselves with the qualities they possess?

I only speak for my gender because that's my reference. I'd like to hear others thoughts.

I'm pretty sure most guys that complain on here that their good qualities are being overlooked suffer from an affliction known as "being boring."

 

[MsLead]

A fine balance is needed...that is the key to my heart.

 

[rustywilliams]

Have you not noticed the ratio of males to females on this site??
I can see why so many females simply demand to be left alone.

 

[Kneelbeforethealpha]

I'm pretty sure most guys that complain on here that their good qualities are being overlooked suffer from an affliction known as "being boring."

And what defines boring? I think the process needs to be looked from a sociological view. So "boring guys" are usually intelligent, employed, committed, etc. So if those are boring traits why does society tend to point to these people as the type others should date? If you look at the opposite, guys who aren't "boring" tend to be promiscuous and view women as objects.

So the choices are being boring by how others define it or being mysoginistic?

 

[ginsbergian]

And what defines boring? I think the process needs to be looked from a sociological view. So "boring guys" are usually intelligent, employed, committed, etc. So if those are boring traits why does society tend to point to these people as the type others should date? If you look at the opposite, guys who aren't "boring" tend to be promiscuous and view women as objects.

So the choices are being boring by how others define it or being mysoginistic?

No, I don't think it has anything to do with "society," but that writing a personal that consists of "Hi I'm a friendly caring guy interested in connecting with women on an emotional level" is pretty much just as boring and unsexy and unpersonal as saying, "hey want 2 suck yer pussy pm me"

Boring guys aren't "usually intelligent" boring guys are boring.

 

[MsLead]

aahh..the "I'm bored" pm....I don't answer those. If you have nothing interesting to say I don't have time to entertain you. A girl has many options here.

 

[Lesserheresy]

I'm pretty sure most guys that complain on here that their good qualities are being overlooked suffer from an affliction known as "being boring."

I'd agree. Having good qualities does not necessarily entail having good chemistry or rapport.

On the whole, I have some reservations about making broad gender based inferences from something as dynamic online play / dating. Basically, I'm not sure it's possible to remain objective and avoid confirming pre-existing gender stereotypes.

 

[Kneelbeforethealpha]

I'm not saying I'm bored! Far from bored. I was just getting a discussion going on here!

 

[ginsbergian]

I'm not saying I'm bored! Far from bored. I was just getting a discussion going on here!

No one's saying you are. I just think you're operating from an incorrect premise: that there are only two options of presenting yourself in a personal ad. It's not a matter of presenting yourself as a "pussy hound" or as an "intelligent guy." You just need to present yourself as yourself and hope for the best, which is that you find someone you're compatible with. You just have to be real.

 

[StrayKat]

And what defines boring? I think the process needs to be looked from a sociological view. So "boring guys" are usually intelligent, employed, committed, etc. So if those are boring traits why does society tend to point to these people as the type others should date? If you look at the opposite, guys who aren't "boring" tend to be promiscuous and view women as objects.

So the choices are being boring by how others define it or being mysoginistic?

That is highly subjective.
For me "boring" means we dont click. Its not about traits, its about how the mind is wired. Personally I am not "looking for" anything, but if you can peek my interest I have no problem going as far as we both feel comfortable. How to peek my interest though, I cant tell you, either you have it or you dont. Intelligence is pretty much requirement. Objectifying and misogyny? Hell no. If you try that bullshit on me all you will get will be kick in the balls.

 

[TarzanOfTheApes]

If you try that bullshit on me all you will get will be kick in the balls.

I for one won't be trying anything like that on you StrayKat (as I carefully protect my balls)

 

[StrayKat]

I for one won't be trying anything like that on you StrayKat (as I carefully protect my balls)

*swings*

 

[TarzanOfTheApes]

*swings*

YIKES