From The Trenches...

[takkatajim]

So have a $250k advance that's split between two authors--obviously myself, and another guy. We released a first novel that sold like gangbusters, but still not enough to crack the NYT #10 slot. So as a result, we're still considered "midlisters."

We roll up our sleeves, get into book #2. I crank out 100k words of general goodness. (General goodness, I said--editors who don't know what is good or not but know what they like have the eventual final say.)

Co-author, who sallied forth and did the deed on book #1....gives me 22k words.

We're contractually obligated to deliver on October 15. And...this is an "author centric" deal, which means we pick up the slack on the backend if shit goes wrong.

We need at least 150k words to make this work out, though the details harry about a 180k release.

Shit's gone wrong.

That is all.

 

[Polyacrylate]

Not the response you're looking for, but...

You get bonus points for the Startide Rising inspired user name.

Good luck.

 

[Blind_Justice]

Will any words do or are you looking for something specific? I think I have some unused ones lying around.

Contact me at nigerianprince@gmail.com

 

[mynameisben]

Damn. I was hoping this would be a WWI thread.

 

[KeithD]

Co-author, who sallied forth and did the deed on book #1....gives me 22k words.

We're contractually obligated to deliver on October 15. And...this is an "author centric" deal, which means we pick up the slack on the backend if shit goes wrong.

We need at least 150k words to make this work out, though the details harry about a 180k release.

If you stay off the Internet and buckle down, you can get to 150k before 15 October easy. You might want to renegotiate your split with your coauthor, though.

Think you might also worry a bit about your publisher thinking it's a good idea to give you another 250k advance if you didn't produce an international best-seller the first time. That's a god-awful huge advance for an unseasoned author to be getting.

 

[Paul_Chance]

LOL - I think I read that book that used Blind_Justices left-over unused words.

 

[Inkhorn]

Damn. I was hoping this would be a WWI thread.

You? You I like.

 

[BelleCanzuto]

Will any words do or are you looking for something specific? I think I have some unused ones lying around.

Contact me at nigerianprince@gmail.com

If you run out, I'm farily certain I've got a few in my couch cushions. Though, I'll have to dislodge the cats to get to them.

 

[Blind_Justice]

If you run out, I'm farily certain I've got a few in my couch cushions. Though, I'll have to dislodge the cats to get to them.

Please, leave teh kittehs be sleeping Want to trade cat pics instead?

 

[TxRad]

I have a few of my 150k word, book assembly kits left. A box with 150,000 words in it with a picture on the front. Some assembly required.

Yeah, $250k is about 6 or 8 times the amount for a normal second book advance. It is usually based on what you sold the first time around. $250k would probably put your last book in the top half of the top ten on the NYT top ten.

 

[Hypoxia]

Try new, improved Lax-O-Dent, now with enhanced Verborrea! Squirt those words like a pro! Authors-block-be-gone! Available at WWIVnet retailers next to entrenching tools and siphons.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

For $250k you can buy all the swampland I own in Florida.

You can contact me at clickbait@draintheswamp.org.

 

[Hypoxia]

For $250k you can buy all the swampland I own in Florida.

Florida will soon be submerged except for mountainous mucky trash heaps so I'll offer US$1.75 and a bad of charcoal briquettes for filtration. Wait, I have a dictionary too. Unabridged, so no tax money was spent building a bridge. Whew.

Have we any other snide, irrelevant advice to offer? For free, so it's worth every centavo.

 

[Blind_Justice]

Have we any other snide, irrelevant advice to offer? For free, so it's worth every centavo.

How about "If you're trying to solicit a free commission, at least make your pitch a bit more believable?"

What kind of almost NYT Bestseller list author comes to the Lit forums to ask for help? No credentials, just the insinuation of a lot of money being involved. I'm probably Captain Obvious, but that whole post reeks of scam. At least he's not asking us to work for exposure and the ability to build our brand, like most online outlets do nowadays.

 

[KeithD]

Have we any other snide, irrelevant advice to offer? For free, so it's worth every centavo.

Irrelevant? Methinks you just don't "get it."

 

[Hypoxia]

Irrelevant? Methinks you just don't "get it."

Swampland.

 

[TxRad]

Swampland.

I'll raise your swampland and offer a bit of desert.

 

[Hypoxia]

I'll raise your swampland and offer a bit of desert.

I've a pocketful already, thanks. The tarantula swarm is over. Too bad -- they could help renegotiate cash splits with an under-producing collaborator. Sure, swamp creatures could assist. Offer 15% and a tub of crocodile repellent.

 

[MetaBob]

I know that some here feel an obligation to provide hostile welcomes to new arrivals -- it's how the internet has worked since ... before it was called the internet -- but I should pause to point out that the OP didn't actually request anything directly.

If there's anything I've learned in the past few months (including but certainly not limited to this site) it's that sometimes when you find yourself in a bind, you have to get creative and ask for help outside previously navigated channels, and sometimes when you do as a new arrival people are going to respond with derision. Fwiw, in my case it hasn't been me getting into a bind, I've only helped someone else (mostly) remotely, in between other responsibilities as well as the fun stuff like writing.

takkatajim, e-mail me if you're still interested. I've already done close edits to several novels this year as well as writing something like 250K words of my own material over the past 20 months (I cranked out the 32K+ words of Packback in two weeks), much of which is published here, among other places. Look my stuff over first and let me know what you think (yes, there'll be a quiz to see if you actually did) if you find it to your liking, and send me some of what you're working on so I can do the same. Note that each of my pieces has a distinctly different feel, which is intentional.

Best regards,
-MɛtaBob

 

[KeithD]

Excuse me. The response (led by me, I think--being really gentle, I think) was to the content of the claim. Sorry, first-time authors don't get $250K in advance for a work. John Grisham doesn't get $250k in advance for his umpteenth best-seller (he's told me that). No, the OP didn't ask a question. Yes, it was a performance piece. That doesn't mean that other posters here didn't need to be told that it was a performance piece--and full of crap. And politely and gently told, I think.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I'll raise your swampland and offer a bit of desert.

I’ll see that and raise some gently-used tundra.

 

[Blind_Justice]

I’ll see that and raise some gently-used tundra.

What kind of wildlife are we talking? I'm sitting on a barely used Remington Model 700 and I'm itching to improve my aim. Republicans, bears, ferrets... what'cha got?

 

[takkatajim]

Will any words do or are you looking for something specific? I think I have some unused ones lying around.

Contact me at nigerianprince@gmail.com

lol that'll work somewhere, keep it up!

 

[takkatajim]

If you stay off the Internet and buckle down, you can get to 150k before 15 October easy. You might want to renegotiate your split with your coauthor, though.

Think you might also worry a bit about your publisher thinking it's a good idea to give you another 250k advance if you didn't produce an international best-seller the first time. That's a god-awful huge advance for an unseasoned author to be getting.

Trust me, not unseasoned at all! (At least this part of the team, anyway.)

 

[takkatajim]

Excuse me. The response (led by me, I think--being really gentle, I think) was to the content of the claim. Sorry, first-time authors don't get $250K in advance for a work. John Grisham doesn't get $250k in advance for his umpteenth best-seller (he's told me that). No, the OP didn't ask a question. Yes, it was a performance piece. That doesn't mean that other posters here didn't need to be told that it was a performance piece--and full of crap. And politely and gently told, I think.

I'm not a first timer. Old hand here.