friends and sex?

[bicuriousnky]

just a hypothetical question...

could i be your friend and you be mine,
yet have sex just one time?
would you still be my friend,
our would our friendship have to end?

 

[gus_tre]

Unfortunately the friendship would have to die in my opinion. But it could also be the beginning of something very special.

 

[jrs259]

Friends are friends

I've been lucky enough to have some lady friends (both in real life and in cyber) that I had sex with a time or two and we are still very good friends. I have also cybered with quite a few who say they want to be a friend from now on but soon decide to move on when they find someone else. I think a lot just want to make another conquest.
I think it depends on the person. I like long term friendships but some people do not. I guess it is your choice.
If they are a true friend and care for people, they will be your friend for a long time.

 

[bicuriousnky]

thanks

thanks for the replies. i was just wondering what other people thought about friendships and sex. i think it depends on the mutual understandings. i have had sex with people i was already friends with before. with two, everything was fine afterwards. however, with the third, after sex, he developed deeper feelings for me. ultimately the friendship didn't last.

if i were to have sex with someone i hadn't previously developed a frienship with, i probably would not decide to continue a friendship with them, i'm not sure...i guess it depends on the circumstances perhaps.

 

[ricsmis]

i think that friends who fuck are the best.... in college i had a couple of these and they were great!!!!!

 

[College_geek]

I have a long time friend online who I cyber with and we're still friends. My only complaint is that usually when we talk it leads to some cyber session for him. But even so, we've had some wonderful conversations before and that's why I still consider him a friend and not just some cyber buddy.

 

[OldestMotive]

It really depends on the people involved, but when it works, it is the best. I've enjoyed "benefits" with on of my best friends and think it is great.

 

[fantac64]

I believe that it would depend on how long you had been friends and what your relationship was before. I personally have had experiences both ways and I can't say there is a hard amd fast rule either way. One that was a friend before, is still a very good friend and has been for a long time. Another was not a friend before but is now a very good friend. It has to be something that you feel is right. I don't think I could be a friend to a one night stand though. true friendships need time to "ripen"

 

[bicuriousnky]

I believe that it would depend on how long you had been friends and what your relationship was before. I personally have had experiences both ways and I can't say there is a hard amd fast rule either way. One that was a friend before, is still a very good friend and has been for a long time. Another was not a friend before but is now a very good friend. It has to be something that you feel is right. I don't think I could be a friend to a one night stand though. true friendships need time to "ripen"

i agree....TRUE friendships do ned time to ripen

 

[ohucanfeel]

I also believe it depends on the friend. But I definately think it can work. I believe that some of the greatest relationships are friends that have sex togheter. You know how everything about them. It can be a very statisfying relationship!

 

[bicuriousnky]

males v. females

do you think there is a difference in how a male would react to having sex with a friend versus how a female would react to having sex with a friend?

 

[College_geek]

Re: males v. females

do you think there is a difference in how a male would react to having sex with a friend versus how a female would react to having sex with a friend?

I think it depends more on the personality than the gender. As long as both of them are only looking for friendly sex, things should be fine, but as soon as one of them wants more out of the relationship, there's possible trouble. At least I'd assume so.

 

[Tongueflicker]

Re: Re: males v. females

I think it depends more on the personality than the gender. As long as both of them are only looking for friendly sex, things should be fine, but as soon as one of them wants more out of the relationship, there's possible trouble. At least I'd assume so.

I whole-heartedly agree. It's not really a question of gender. It's more about mindset (er...heartset? soulset?). There have been times that I have turned down sex on the sole basis that I wasn't looking for the same thing as my potential partners. If you're not in the same place on that, it can be really devistation to the relationship (whatever that may be). But if you are in the same place...then let the orgasms come in bunches.

-TF-

 

[ohucanfeel]

Re: males v. females

do you think there is a difference in how a male would react to having sex with a friend versus how a female would react to having sex with a friend?

There could be a difference depending on the circumstances within the friendship. Everyone reacts differently regardless of gender on any subject or topic. A mutual understanding of the agenda involved must be determined prior to the action. Then, there are guidelins and boundries to what can happen. Good sex, great sex, and sex in the times of need to just help release stress and anxiety!

 

[romanceguy]

I consider myself lucky that when I fucked my best friend we remained friends.

 

[My Erotic Tail]

hello fingering friend

hey ~Bi

Yes-I believe you can be friends and not
cross the line of intamacy......................

sex is a need by all creatures on this planet.
companionship.....full fill the spontanious need!
love and intamacy are flowers that take time
to grow.

(I have a friend who takes care of my need ..
when shes in need of some too..he he
but we never plan to be together...are life
styles differ way to much....as does are age.)
.....................................................................
hope this helps to answer your question..
................................Art.............................

 

[bicuriousnky]

Re: hello fingering friend

hey ~Bi

Yes-I believe you can be friends and not
cross the line of intamacy......................

sex is a need by all creatures on this planet.
companionship.....full fill the spontanious need!
love and intamacy are flowers that take time
to grow.

(I have a friend who takes care of my need ..
when shes in need of some too..he he
but we never plan to be together...are life
styles differ way to much....as does are age.)
.....................................................................
hope this helps to answer your question..
................................Art.............................

i've been told that with most men, a sole platonic friendship cannot exist with the opposite sex. the reason given is that if a man is physically attracted to the woman, then he is always awaiting an opportunity for sex. even though he may not mention sex or actively pursue it with his female friend, in the back of his mind, if she presented him with the opportunity, it would be an opportunity he has desired at some time.

 

[My Erotic Tail]

men are like stray dogs

well Im a man as you know..........
but men are like stray dogs.......
if you feed them there gonna cum back
for more.....you have to set the
routine or guidlines right away...
yep men in the back of there minds
want sex.....so do women...obviusly
each situation as well as each person
varies...so like chooseing a pet...
find one you can deal with....or
you'll be uncomfortable............
........................Art..........................

 

[LordBlaze]

I think that can go different ways. Sometimes it brings you to a new level in your friendship, but it can also put a strain on the friendship and bring it to an end. I have had it go both ways.

 

[Psiknight]

I'll catch some heat for this, but I do not think men and women can be true friends.

The Ladder Theory, http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html, spoofs this but I find that it's quite true. I feel that many women can enter a friendship without any alterior motives, but most men will enter a "friendship" with a female in order to pursue sexual gratification in some manner...whether it be a casual girlfriend or serious relationship.

I've read reports and did my own Psychology experiment regarding this. My results were thus:

87% of men interviewed claimed that in any single female friendship in which they were involved they wanted to advance to something more intimate.

The study was of 450 college aged (18-23) students in the central Pennsylvania area.

350 Females were also interviewed and 34% of respondents claimed they only wanted the friendship for something more intimate.

So, to me sex in a friendship definately confounds the friendship. Routinely someone will have wanted something more from the onset of the "friendship" or they will want something more after.

 

[bicuriousnky]

knight~

imy husband agrees with that. however, most of the friends i have had have always been males. i get alomg better with males. out of all of my male friends, i think perhaps two had sexual motives. with the others i believe our friendship was a true friendship. i never entered any of the friendships with sexual motives and i find it difficult to believe that the majority of males would. maybe i'm just in denial. my husband would concur with your statement...lol

 

[bicuriousnky]

i shouldn't type when i'm tired...there are always typo's

 

[Psiknight]

knight~

imy husband agrees with that. however, most of the friends i have had have always been males. i get alomg better with males. out of all of my male friends, i think perhaps two had sexual motives. with the others i believe our friendship was a true friendship. i never entered any of the friendships with sexual motives and i find it difficult to believe that the majority of males would. maybe i'm just in denial. my husband would concur with your statement...lol

Obviously the experiment I did was informal and for a 200 level Psych class, but I think the results are telling... Personally, I've never had much in common with any girls that I know...well, I mean friendship qualities. I like football, baseball, college hoops, video games, poker, etc... I've had girls tell me "Yeah I like football too!" andm while watching a football game, she asks questions like "what's clipping mean?", "what's a 43 defense mean" or "why was that a safety?" Not that you can't enjoy football and not know that stuff, but I've just found a lot of girls my age say they like it and really don't know much about it.

Like if my wife and I weren't madly in love, I can't imagine standing in line at "Build-A-Bear Workshop", you know? Males and females are diametrically oppossed personality-wise most of the time, and males have a genetically programmed drive to procreate. This is why I feel male-female friendships, sans any sexual contact, do not last.

 

[bicuriousnky]

science

Obviously the experiment I did was informal and for a 200 level Psych class, but I think the results are telling... Personally, I've never had much in common with any girls that I know...well, I mean friendship qualities. I like football, baseball, college hoops, video games, poker, etc... I've had girls tell me "Yeah I like football too!" andm while watching a football game, she asks questions like "what's clipping mean?", "what's a 43 defense mean" or "why was that a safety?" Not that you can't enjoy football and not know that stuff, but I've just found a lot of girls my age say they like it and really don't know much about it.

Like if my wife and I weren't madly in love, I can't imagine standing in line at "Build-A-Bear Workshop", you know? Males and females are diametrically oppossed personality-wise most of the time, and males have a genetically programmed drive to procreate. This is why I feel male-female friendships, sans any sexual contact, do not last.

i guess that's the conundrum that i face when thinking about opposite sex friendships. my degree is in social work, but i started out in biochemistry. and genetically speaking, yes, men are genetically predisposed to procreate. on the other hand, and this may be due to the fact that i am a female, i find it very difficult to believe that a majority of my male friends had sexual thoughts about me, given that i had absolutely none towards them.

very interesting

 

[College_geek]

Obviously the experiment I did was informal and for a 200 level Psych class, but I think the results are telling... Personally, I've never had much in common with any girls that I know...well, I mean friendship qualities. I like football, baseball, college hoops, video games, poker, etc... I've had girls tell me "Yeah I like football too!" andm while watching a football game, she asks questions like "what's clipping mean?", "what's a 43 defense mean" or "why was that a safety?" Not that you can't enjoy football and not know that stuff, but I've just found a lot of girls my age say they like it and really don't know much about it.

I love videogames! A good portion of the conversations I have with my male friends revolves around games. I might not play as many as they do, but I love to watch and discuss them.

But I do see what you mean about the football thing. I enjoy watching it and I care who wins, but I don't know many of the technical aspects and rules of the game, so I would be one of the ones asking questions.

But I think the friendship between males and females thing also has to do with the physical attraction between both sides. I have a good amount of male friends, and I don't see any physical attraction between any of us, we're just attracted to each other as friends because we like the same things and we make each other laugh.