Freakin' good titles!

[karmadog]

I went cruising through the new poetry board today, and found that there are very few titles that actually catch the eye. I don't know just how important a really great title is (witness "Ode on a Grecian Urn". Could there be a more boring title?), but I thought I might critique some of the really good titles. Plus I'm too lazy to do a whole poem.

Domestic Blister by Twinkle http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=46462

I have to tell you, this is funny. A nice play on words. It's open-ended enough to make you wonder what it might be about. Could it be about a bad husband or wife, a cooking accident, particularly bad rug burn? We don't know. I will say that the humor of the title did not do good service to the poem. It is quite dark.

Inoperable Verbosity Twinkle again
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=46471

Give this poet credit for an excellent sense of humor. Again, the poem is more serious than one might expect from the title. I'll tell you though, I'm not sure that any verbosity is inoperable--look at Nicholson in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest". He definitely had his removed.

Radon Daughters by smithpeter http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=46307

This title puzzled me. It certainly made me want to read the poem and isn't that part of what your title should do? I'm still not sure what the title or the poems refers to, but it makes me think of a modern version of the Furies. I picture three odorless, utterly tasteless young girls dressed like Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and Cameron Diaz. They show up at your home handing out cancer like Girl Scout cookies. Somehow I don't think that's what SP had in mind.

Piss and Raspberry Vinegarettes by Smaugfire
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=46185

Despite the misspelling (vinaigrettes) this was an eye catcher. Apparently, he wishes to serve an unpleasant salad to his enemies. The only thing I know is I'm not inviting him for a potluck.


In the story section there was only one mixed in among titles like "The Cheerleader CH. 497". Doesn't it seem like a writer who could crank out that many chapters of a story would notice how dull the title is? Really makes you want to read their stuff doesn't it.

Wendy and the Witchdoctor by Stormbringer http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=46303

That's it. The only one. Not that great, but it creates expectations of "King Solomon's Mines" crossed with "Peter Pan". That's not what it is, but maybe somebody will do the other version. This story actually looks fairly well written. I'll probably read it, given enough time.

BTW, my story submission has the worst title imaginable: "The First Time". Blecch.

 

[TheDR4KE]

A fun view on the works, dog... And it's certainly made me look at my titles again. I think I'm basically happy with them, but then I'm generally a sucker for concise naming. If you want to get lots of readers, however, catchier titles certainly help.

Oh, and the poem "I found God" made me look -- curiosity as to how it was approached. Deadpan dry humour in the close, but I won't give more away.

Drake

 

[daughter]

Titles Matter

karmadog--

I have preached this so much I'm tired of hearing my own sermon about titles. lol

If folks wonder why they aren't getting feedback, one reason is very likely the title was a sleeper. We have information overload online. You gotta entice the reader to choose your work over that of someone else. Unless you have an established readership who knows your craftmanship, you better give the audience a draw.

Cliche, non-despriptive one-liners and numbers don't impress me me. I'm online too much. I'm becoming increasingly discriminate about how I invest my reading time. Say something in the title or risk being passed by. Titles I pass by: Anything that's called Passion(fill in the blank), titles that have 'heart', 'soul', 'I love'(fill in the blank), 'tears'.

We're a sound bite culture. Readers don't give unknowns much time to make an impression and your intro is your title. Make it a good one.

Peace,

daughter

 

[karmadog]

One more set

Your Monday Night Bitch by nakedangelina
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=46628

I couldn't believe this wasn't about Randy Moss. Then I thought it might be about my ex-girlfriend who wanted to discuss what color curtains we should get during the game.

Extremities Many by SexplorN
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=46545

Although this sounds a little annoying like "Under Rug Swept", it still made me look. But then I have a craving for calamari.

pop by TheDR4KE http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=46534

I thought this might be a bit of erotica from the boys in NSync. Or maybe a cola ad. Actually I enjoyed the poem even though it was none of those things.

Spanky Bullwhips by VeraGem
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=46534

This is from the new stories section. Vera wins my award for most amusing title. I thought at first that some error had left off the last part--"...Darla" or for the interracial section "Buckwheat". But would you believe this is a character's name? To tell the truth, I am going to go read this. Even if it sucks (which it won't because VG wrote it), it will get bumped a notch for the great title.

 

[smithpeter]

Believe it or not

"Radon daughters are fine solid particles which result
from the radioactive decay of radon gas, and are hazardous because of the alpha radiation, or alpha particles, which they emit."
Source

 

[karmadog]

I had no idea there was an actual thing called Radon daughters. I had, of course, heard of radon gas in conjunction with basements. But I live only a few feet above sea level. Here, a basement is an indoor swimming pool.

I hope you didn't think I was making fun of your poem (which is excellent. It has an effortless feel to it. The mark of good work, I think). I was just noticing how few really good titles there are. By good title, I mean one that works almost like a one line poem. "Radon Daughters" certainly qualified. The other stuff is just fun.

 

[TheDR4KE]

Re: One more set

pop by TheDR4KE http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=46534

I thought this might be a bit of erotica from the boys in NSync. Or maybe a cola ad. Actually I enjoyed the poem even though it was none of those things.

LOL

Yo homey of a new generation... no, forget it. I'm not going to write another version ;-)

Drake

 

[smithpeter]

no no

No no karmadog. I did not think you were making fun of my poem and I thank you very much for picking it up for comment.
It is humorous to me that in the seminar I attended on Indoor Air Quality problems such a serious thing should immediately strike me as part of something erotic.

 

[Smaugfire]

Thanks for the spell checking Karma... vinaigrettes, hmm... I need to get a dictionary for my cubical, and hopefully I'll stop relying on Microsoft Word's Thesaurus. *cringe*

 

[Lauren Hynde]

different approach

Hi, Karmadog



Just the other day I saw this thread and thought "this guy's right, a good title is essencial, at least in a place like this, where dozens of new poems are posted everyday". And I realized how shitty my own titles must look to you guys. That got me thinking, I decided to take it one step further in my next poem: "first thing I'll write will be the titles!" -- LOL

I'll be posting 2 in the next few days, but in the mean time, I'd like to offer their titles up for discution. Hold them up to the light, and beat them senseless:

- «Tele-Parablized HyperKarma»

- «Under a fusillade of popping kernels»

 

[karmadog]

OK Lauren.

Tele-Parablized HyperKarma

I would look at this for sure, but then I would have to wonder, "What the hell does that mean?" Firstly, when you write "Parablized", do you mean to be made into a parabola, or to be made into a parable? The word that means both of those things is "parabolized". Seems strange to me too. Either way it's intriguing. To be turned into a parabola or a parable from a distance is an interesting idea. I resent being called Hyper, though. My Ritalin prescription hasn't run out since 1979.

Under a fusilade of popping kernels

Do you realize that read aloud this could also be confusing. It might be interpreted as a bukkake session at a Tailhook convention. Anyhow, I like this one, too. It makes me think of the last time I went to the movies. It was a matinee showing of "Jimmy Neutron". Apparently the brats didn't care for the movie any more than I did.

I have to admit that I can't write the title and then follow it up with anything. SP seems to have done that with "Radon daughters" to good effect, but that guy is both gifted and prolific so comparing myself to him is a waste of time.

I remember about twenty years ago, there was a country songwriting contest that I read a report about. One of the songs that was submitted was called "Get Your Tongue Out of MY Mouth, I'm Kissing You Goodbye"! I've remembered that for twenty years even though I never heard the song. That's the power of a good title.

 

[karmadog]

I'm a plain-spoken kind of guy, so I kind of think the first one should be more clear.

The Parable of the Spastic Karma?

Phone Call to Rolling Karma, or, the loaves and fishes got all fucking sandy?

You Can't Trust Karma as far as You can Throw Him?

I Went To Calculus Class and All I Got was This Fucking Parabola Tshirt.

Why Don't You Just Tell Me What You Mean? Jesus!

 

[Lauren Hynde]

OK, karmadog

1. When I wrote parablized I really meant to be made into a parable. I didn't know whether to use parablized or parabolized but according Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary neigther exists!!!

2. Notice the hyphen between Tele and Parablized? That means you probably shouldn't try and join them together in a single word: it does not mean to be made into a parable at a distance no matter how cool that would be...

3. I found this expression, Tele-Parablized, in Douglas Coupland's Generation X, refering to morals used in everyday life that derive from TV sitcom plots: "That's just like the episode where Jan lost her glasses!"

4. HyperKarma does NOT refer to you, even if I did use it because you would think so... Again, notice the absence of the hyphen between Hyper and Karma! (and please disregard the use of the capital letter in Karma, I just thought it would look good)

5. Once again, Generation X was the source, through the concept known as Diseases for Kisses, a deeply rooted belief that punishment will somehow always be far greater than the crime: ozone holes for littering.

6. As for «Under A Fusillade Of Popping Kernels», it's supposed to be a little homage to TheDR4KE's latest hit «pop», and I can asure that it will NOT feature a bukkake session, but if that image makes you want to read it, well, then I guess my job here is done!


Hope that explanation makes any kind of sense to you at all...

Thank you for your time, and please keep your eyes open, you'll be able to check the poems for yourself in a few days time... (In the mean time, I posted a new poem in JUDO's Sexually Explicit Poetry Challenge, so you can go an take a look at it now!)

 

[karmadog]

Actually Tele-parablized is much better now that I know what you meant. I haven't read the book. Isn't it great when you find a book that gives you new ideas.

Believe me, I don't WANT to read the bukkake image. The only Air Force colonel I ever knew was easily the nerdiest person I ever met. Any woman subjected to 20 or 50 or 90 (or any) of those would be in a horror story.

"Parabolized" was in my Compton's Complete Reference collection. I always look up words I don't know, and am frequently disappointed by this thing, but for once I was surprised.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

So, what do you think I should do, as for the Tele-Parablized HyperKarma issue? Do I use Parabolized, if your sure that's the correct spelling, or may I use some poetic freedom and stick with Parablized, incorret as it may be? Given the whole parable explanaition, that is...

 

[The Huntsman]

parable-eyes

I know I'm relatively unknown,
but my vote is with parabolized.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

oh, karmadog! I remembered something!

Yesterday I had an irrefutable proof of the value of a good title. I was browsing the board and came across WickedEve's Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace challenge... I just couldn't resist. Had to post something! And guess what was the first thing to pop into my mind? That song title you mencioned «Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Goodbye»! I turned it into a little haiku and submitted it immediately. Have been getting tremendous response to it... Thank you!

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Thanks, Huntsman! I'll consider your opinion...

And don't worry about being unknown, you've already outdone me in number of posts and you're a very talented poet! I promisse I'll send you some feedback on your work even tonight, if I have the time! Keep it up!

 

[karmadog]

Yep

Laren, I saw the Haiku. I love it. Did you know you got an "H"? Pretty cool, huh?

I vote for parabolized. I double checked my dic and it's definitely there.

OK, now for some new wicked good titles. There are a lot today.

What Fluffy girls are made of by debbiexxx
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=47145

Eider down? That marsmallow spread you use to make fluffernutter sandwiches? Hairdye and Seabreezes? Charmin? I don't know but I'd be happy to try the squeeze test and find out.

Kennedy Liver Farms & Prozac Bagels by Smaugfire
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=47041

Sounds like something Hannibal Lecter might order for breakfast at Burger King. I'll have a Kennedy liver and prozac on a bagel. I'd imagine Kennedy livers are pretty tasty when you consider what they do to geese to make pate.

Know Me By Mine Iron Tread by The Huntsman
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=47041

I am Iron Man. Sabbath rules!!! Seriously though, I'd think a huntsman might prefer sneakers.

Velvet Revolution by slowhand60
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=47002

The screenname and the title are like a tour of the 60's. Maybe I'm just feeling nostalgic for a decade I can't remember. Not so much because of drugs, but because I was five when it ended.

A Donkey in Thirds by The Huntsman
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=46948

I don't know how he caught up with anything with those iron shoes, but I think he needs a smaller gun, too.

Make my coffee to go by debbiexxx
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=46977

Maybe I'm just hungover. No I am hungover, but this somehow fueled my fantasy about the girl in the coffee shop. Today I'd rather have a beautiful woman delivering a latte than a beer.

Tiger of Captivity by smithpeter
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=46946

You had to know the PGA would do something about that Woods kid sooner or later. Jail seems like a good option.

The First Occasional Special Award in Title Achievement goes to Smaugfire. This guy always comes up with something good. I don't often know what the hell he's talking about, but damn, he says it cool.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Hi, karmadog!

The First Occasional Special Award in Title Achievement goes to Smaugfire. This guy always comes up with something good. I don't often know what the hell he's talking about, but damn, he says it cool.

This one isn't as cryptic as some of Smaug's poems, but I got to hand it to the old dragon... I really thought it was at least as good as his title, and with a freekin' good title like this one, that's saying something...

But just have to mention "A Donkey In Thirds" by The Huntsman, as a close second: I still haven't read it, but the title threw me smack into the middle of a Damien Hirst art exhibition! Wow!


(and karmadog, I Do (not) Haiku not only got an H besides it, but also shot straight to the top with a perfect 5 scoring card! how cool is that?)

 

[The Huntsman]

wow

I really appreciate the links, Karmadog!
This is a great supportive format. I'll do my best to maintain pace.

Lauren, please do read A Donkey In Thirds. It is fairly long, but I am eager to read your reply. In my opinion, the final section is the condensed "meat" of the donkey slaughter. The ambling introduction is necessary, I feel, to get to that point. Anyhow, I look forward to it!

Smaugfire's poem is spectacular. I read it yesterday, and enjoyed myself. I have a few constructive criticisms on some of the enjambed lines, but I was surprised how *easy* it was to read aloud the first time! My sister was around when I stumbled upon the title, and without reading further to myself - I read it aloud for the both of us.
If you are mistrustful of science and the New Imago Dei in general, I'd suggest copying this one down!

Ihmara

"Making two possibilities a reality,
predicting the future of things we all know,
fighting off the diseased programming
of centuries, centuries, centuries." - System of a Down

 

[Debbie]

Re: Titles Matter

karmadog--

I have preached this so much I'm tired of hearing my own sermon about titles. lol

If folks wonder why they aren't getting feedback, one reason is very likely the title was a sleeper. We have information overload online. You gotta entice the reader to choose your work over that of someone else. Unless you have an established readership who knows your craftmanship, you better give the audience a draw.

Cliche, non-despriptive one-liners and numbers don't impress me me. I'm online too much. I'm becoming increasingly discriminate about how I invest my reading time. Say something in the title or risk being passed by. Titles I pass by: Anything that's called Passion(fill in the blank), titles that have 'heart', 'soul', 'I love'(fill in the blank), 'tears'.

We're a sound bite culture. Readers don't give unknowns much time to make an impression and your intro is your title. Make it a good one.

Peace,

daughter

Thank you daughter. I hear you. Taking a close look at the titles of my poems. I thought? Ho hum. Boring, been done.
Now I am thinking fresh, innovative titles that mean something.



Thanks for the mentions karmadog.

Fluffy refers to the term light and airy, a bit of fluff.

 

[karmadog]

Titles should be important to you if your poetry is important to you.

You wouldn't spend two or three grand on an Armani suit and then top it off with a feed store baseball cap, would you? I would, I live in the South, but most people of sense wouldn't.

Or imagine a beautiful woman in a couture dress with a ten dollar haircut. You can only do that at the Oscars, but you have to pay at least four hundred dollars for the Fantastic Sam's look.

 

[JUDO]

Titles are all we got!

KD -

Since we cannot put a little description of our poems at Lit or even have "categories" like the story authors, titles are all we have.

So, the importance of a good one to attract readership must rise exponentially with poems posted here.

Since my first story foray into the incest category, I've been thinking more and more about how to attract the Lit readership for incest and other categories to poetry.

Hence, I've entitled my last few: Back Door Baby, Boy Show and Incest Boy. None of these titles, though, seem to have made a dent on my belief in what to call poems, however.

Here is why, perhaps.

Unfortunately, the only place poems are listed after the New List and before the Top List (which can be months) are in the big poetry list. Very few if any new poetry readers care to wade through the big list. But whenever someone new looks through the list, they start at "A."

I believe this because my A is for Anal just became my all-time viewed poem even though it's not on the Top List. It's only a couple of months old and its views have surpassed poems that have been on the Top List since last Summer.

Ha! Perhaps we have to start creating titles for poems in much the same way that companies tried to find business in the old Yellow Pages:

AAAA is for Anal, A1 is how I feel about you, etc.


- Judo

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Yes, Judo, but what will happen when all the first 5 pages of the big poetry list feature titles like "AA at Athens" and "A/1453 - an erotic saga from outer space"?