Forum Sexual roleplaying, and private Cybersex .

[Alana_]

A little on topic discussion if you feel like joining in.

I would ask that everyone respect everyone's views and opinions, as they're all welcome.

So....in a forum like we have here on Lit, for roleplaying, and in this case Sexual roleplaying, do you see it as a form of Cybersex, or is there a distinction between the two for you.?
I've had this discussion in the past with other players, and some would say there's a huge difference, and some would say there's not..Just that forum sexual roleplaying is a more excusable means of cybering, without the tag of cybersex. Do you agree or not?

I personally think there's a huge difference. I'm not great at writing Erotic fiction as a solo writer, so for me it gives me the chance to write up a story, create it and watch it develop via the rp format, only that I have a partner writing it with me, playing his gentlemans role, with me playing the role of the lady I'm writing about.

I dont cyber, never have, dont see it as something that would interest me frankly. But I love to write srp.
For me in cybering,- and I speak as someone with no experience on the mater, so I'm working on what it implies to my way of thinking-,while there might be an emotional involvement with some couples, there's also sexual relationship between the two involved..I think that's obvious hence the name 'cybersex'.

But for me in sexual roleplaying, and I speak for myself here again, and this time based on having written srp for years with multiple sites and partners, I've never had a relationship or wanted one, other than finding I'm fortunate to make friends with some of the gentlemen I write with and speak with via IM, who don't appear to be looking for more than the enjoyment of writing erotica , or at least that's how they behave with me, and I appreciate it and value them all the more for it.


Your view if you have any on the subject.

 

[yeishia]

I do have a question Alana, why exactly do you want to know this; are you researching for a role play or it it just curiosity on your part?

 

[Alana_]

Oh no Yeishia, it's just a topic that has come up in conversation before, and in other sites, and I just find it interesting to see other peoples views on subjects that interest me...

No other reason. It's not meant to antagonize or create bother for anyone.

I just dont see the harm in asking a question that can or can not be answered.

 

[yeishia]

That's fine I was just interested on the whys, I myself have no real opinion to offer up

Though someone did tell me that everything we do here is cyber sex in one form or another; I do disagree with that.

My stories I do not view as cybersex

 

[Trixabell]

I am new to the whole Lit arena and this very topic is what I find most frustrating about interacting with members. It seems that everyone has a different opinion on what is acceptable. For some its all play and others its all serious but most seem to view IMing as cybersex but if you take the same conversation to the SRP section its a 'story'. Add to all that that each member has a different level of importance that they place on 'relationships' here and well.....it gets confusing!

Can't we all come with titles?
Hi My name is Trixabell and I am just playing, nice to meet you.
See, that was easy! lol

 

[Vail_Indigo]

I don't see SRPs as cybersex (for me, personally). They do, however, often create a strong intimacy, a deep bond.
I've SRPed with straight girls who would never consider having cybersex with me, but I don't think they'd deny the above.
I think for me part of it is the freedom to do things that I would never consider doing in an actual, sexual context (real or cyber). In an Non-Con SRP I was in, it involved a lot of torture, outright cruelty, and it became apparent that, in the end, one would die.
These are things I wouldn't be comfortable doing in cybersex even.
But when writing, creating, we can let things out in an emotional safe-zone.

 

[Trixabell]

I think for me part of it is the freedom to do things that I would never consider doing in an actual, sexual context (real or cyber). In an Non-Con SRP I was in, it involved a lot of torture, outright cruelty, and it became apparent that, in the end, one would die.
These are things I wouldn't be comfortable doing in cybersex even.
But when writing, creating, we can let things out in an emotional safe-zone.

In this aspect I think it is a little more clearly 'play', I know where I get confused is when it is a more true to life SRP or a fantasy that you really want to act out. I have learned that it is very important to know where your writing partner or play partner stands on this issue before beginning.

 

[Vail_Indigo]

In this aspect I think it is a little more clearly 'play', I know where I get confused is when it is a more true to life SRP or a fantasy that you really want to act out. I have learned that it is very important to know where your writing partner or play partner stands on this issue before beginning.

I completely agree. There have been times when things have gotten more than a little...confusing.
But, if you think about it, it might be similar to, y'know, having a 'friend with benefits' and starting to think of them as more.

 

[Alana_]

Thank you so much for joining in.!

Trixie I understand the confusion you talk about as to what people see is cyber, rp, or close to both... I guess it's what individual people want to get of it. But I do understand.

Vail, all bar the 'friends with benefits' I for the most part love your view, as it's not far from my own.

Great to see the replies, and thank you also Yeishia.

 

[sallythescorpian]

My ten cents, for what its worth.

I thinkSPR is just light hearted fun, I enjoy writing with my various partners. i do not think in anyway its cybersex. Certainly, I've written about tons of things, I would never do in real life, and for me, that's the fun of it!

IMing, for me is different, and this runs close to the area of cybersex, and its not something I do. I think IMing (for me at least) could lead to a strong connection with someone, and that is not something I'm looking for, being more than happy in my RL relationship.

Certainly some guys have read some of the stories I 've written, and assumed that I'm up for anything, and I 've had some, shall we say "interesting" propositions via PM as a result!!

I know some people take on line relationships very seriously, but for me, other than meeting people and making a few friends, its just a fun place to play, but its different for every one.

To each, his own,!!

 

[Alana_]

My ten cents, for what its worth.

I thinkSPR is just light hearted fun, I enjoy writing with my various partners. i do not think in anyway its cybersex. Certainly, I've written about tons of things, I would never do in real life, and for me, that's the fun of it!

IMing, for me is different, and this runs close to the area of cybersex, and its not something I do. I think IMing (for me at least) could lead to a strong connection with someone, and that is not something I'm looking for, being more than happy in my RL relationship.

Certainly some guys have read some of the stories I 've written, and assumed that I'm up for anything, and I 've had some, shall we say "interesting" propositions via PM as a result!!

I know some people take on line relationships very seriously, but for me, other than meeting people and making a few friends, its just a fun place to play, but its different for every one.

To each, his own,!!

Wonderfully put Sally. Thank you.

 

[caged_doll]

I used to do a fair bit of SRPing here under another handle a few years ago.

For me, it was never cybersex. It couldn't be. It would take me hours, sometimes days or even weeks to formulate a post I was happy with, it wasn't something you could type with one hand while your other hand was engaged in your nether regions. I love to write and in some way it was more about the craft of writing then what we were doing in the story, and some of my stories never even made it to the sex stage. I've cybered with partners over the years, and what we did in IM was much different than what we did here in the forums.

With that said, I perceive a great deal of the stories I've read in the past as cybersex. They look like the IM log of a cybersex session except they are in thread format. I understand that everyone gets something different out of these things, and everyone has their own writing style, but I personally think some of the stuff out there really is cybersex.

 

[chronicle_tenko]

Cybersex, was something I did when I was 16 in chat-rooms pretending to be 25. It was kind of banal. Always the same lines the same pick ups. I had a friend actually write me a Macro once, so I wouldn't have to type the same lines in over and over again I could just hit a few keys and It'd type them for me.

I spend hours agonizing over plot decisions. I've even been hurt by other people who've not taken a story as seriously as me, or who have attempted to completely alter my character. SRP's to me, are stories I can write collaboratively that happen to include sex. Occasionally. Now yes there are some I write Merely for my own personal gratification, that are more sex than plot, but I still have fun writing them in a way I wouldn't have if it was just cyber. And I still plan and plot those differently.

But sometimes if my story thread is NOTHING but sex I sometimes wonder.

 

[Ahren1]

I'm not sure why people think there's a difference. Cybersex is exactly what it sounds like. Sex over cyberspace. No matter how you want to define what is written here on the forum, if you get into a sex scene, it is cybersex. This is why it kind of amuses me when I see people who say "I DON'T CYBER!" but are clearly willing to write in a sexual story.

It's not that I don't understand what they're saying. I'm pretty sure they say this to avoid people who simply want to go to IM and do a one sentence back and forth exchange of nothing but sex. People want a distinction between the two because while they may be willing to write a story with sex involved, they don't just want the equivalent of a one night stand in IM form.

Doesn't change the fact that both things are cybersex. Besides, I've had IM conversations that were sexual and written as a story as well. Just because something is over IM doesn't mean it has to be mindless and simple. If anything I almost prefer it because you're able to respond to individual actions easier, rather than 4 paragraphs at a time. There might be a bit more pressure since you don't get as much time to think as you would sitting and writing a post, but that makes it a tad more personal and realistic in my opinion.

 

[Alana_]

Ahren, thank you for joining in with a very different view.

I dont agree with you, but I dont discount your opinion either.

If I wanted to cyber, I'd not spend 2 and 3 hours over a piece, ...my partner would want to be one very patient man, with a good hand .
And at the rate my threads go, as I prefer slower threads, what ever excitement I personally may feel, is exhausted by the time I'd get to reply, and then have to wait again for a partner to reply, doesn't exactly inspire the mood to last..
That's not cybering in my view. It's not close to it. There's not enough time spent to arouse and maintain that arousal when posts can be days apart.

For me, its a means of writing something sexy entwined with a good story, and having the explicate nature shared with another writer that can enhance the story with his own input, sexual and otherwise.. It's not about trying to arouse him enough to want him to jack off.

( If that was ever to happen, I dont want to know, as Im here posting with my husbands knowledge, and his trust, and that would defile the trust he's got in my behavior online.)


Again, Thank you for joining in, and I'm sure there'll be others that will agree with you, or not. But that's what mature discussion is about.

 

[caged_doll]

The fact that there is sex in a story doesn't make it cybersex.

I don't get off on what I write. I don't get off on what my partner writes. I write because of what it does for my mind and my soul. Having sex contained in an SRP allows freedom of sexual expression and a celebration of sexuality, but it doesn't always mean cybersex.

 

[Firmhanded_Daddy]

This is always a very interesting discussion, because it seems that almost everyone has a slightly different view on things. I'm glad that you have posed this question however Alana. As always you are good at keeping things interesting!

My own personal take on this is fairly simple. I think SRP is just a game. Just writing. Unless of course you let it become more. Personally I have been Text Based Role Playing for years. Until I came to lit most of my stories did not have much sex in them. It was more about the story, the character. Sure there was romance and sexual tension, but I rarely had a story that was focused within the realm of sex.

I think that shows within my stories for the most part, because I love developing characters, and throwing them into all sorts of trouble! The sexual part of things is fun and all, but it's so much more entertaining after you have had a chance to bond with the characters and identify with them. In that regard I guess you can say it is just like real sex. It's all just humping and moaning until you establish a real connection with someone, that is when it becomes more powerful, more meaningful.

Anything not in an RP thread, I consider to be cyber sex. Of course people come to lit with varying degrees of realism in how they conduct themselves. Some people are honest and are just who they are IRL, some people fudge the facts a little, some people even make up alternate identities ranging from a different name, to being a vampire. The important thing to consider here is that your view may not line up with the person on the other end of the screen. I think a lot of the drama that occurs can be hedged off when you consider that what you write, is read by real people, with real emotions and view points of their own.

So just remember that just because cyber sex might be meaningful to you, or not, the person on the other end might have a totally different view point.

On a side note I just wanna say that I don't define cyber sex by your reaction to it. You don't have to be playing with your privates for it to be cyber sex. Some people find it very rewarding in that way, and others find different pleasure in it rather than sexual release. In the end it doesn't matter a whole lot, we are all here for fun anyway!

 

[Alana_]

J thank you for adding to this, and caged_doll.

J I like your second paragraph , because its pretty much what I was trying to say in part, only you said it better. So Thank You dear.

So far, most peoples personal understandings are for the most part much the same as my own.. Not that this is a platform for my views, because it's not.. So thank you , everyone, for your various interpretations and points of views.

I hope some more join in, and we get a little more 'air time' out of the chat.