Forget About Abuse For A Moment, Let's Talk Infedility

[TN_Vixen]

Have you ever been unfaithful to a spouse or partner? I can honestly say that the entire time I was married, (7 yrs. married, 8 together) that I never once did anything that would constitute infedility. Have you? And if you have, how did you justify your choice to do so?

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Not without the Shebabe there....

as a participating partner.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

Have you ever been unfaithful to a spouse or partner? I can honestly say that the entire time I was married, (7 yrs. married, 8 together) that I never once did anything that would constitute infedility. Have you? And if you have, how did you justify your choice to do so?

What constitues infedility? Some might consider sharing intimate feelins with someone other then your partner cheating...

 

[seXieleXie]

i've been cheated on, but i've never cheated on anyone. i don't think that makes me morally superior to anyone though. i just didn't have the misfortune of falling completely in lust/love while in a relationship with someone else.
part of me says i would never ever ever cheat on my SO because it seems profoundly wrong to me. however, there is a nagging voice that asks "what if" questions. i don't forsee it happening though.

 

[Cath!]

Re: Re: Forget About Abuse For A Moment, Let's Talk Infedility

What constitues infedility? Some might consider sharing intimate feelins with someone other then your partner cheating...

exactly...infidelity is a socially defined act that is not necessarily the same as a personally defined act.

The fact that you flirt with someone could be considered infidelity...cyber/phone/email sex could be considered infidelity.

That is a hard question to answer on a global front.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

Oh Dear God Cath...I'm a slut then...

 

[Weevil]

Jeez no. It took me 4 and a half years to convince my Lady Love to get into bed. I'm too lazy to try and do that again with a new girl.

 

[Cath!]

Oh Dear God Cath...I'm a slut then...

welcome to the club!

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

welcome to the club!

LOL...At least I am in good company then

 

[TN_Vixen]

Re: Re: Forget About Abuse For A Moment, Let's Talk Infedility

What constitues infedility? Some might consider sharing intimate feelins with someone other then your partner cheating...

Very good question. What DOES constitute infedility? I wasn't getting that deep with this question, I intended to narrow it to simply "cheating" on your partner sexually - however, betraying your partner comes in many many forms. And, "cheating" can be defined in a number of ways.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

Without getting too personal about my life, people tend to get what they need. From whatever outlet. Everyone has wants and needs, needs to be listened to, to be loved, to be wanted. And its sad when you cannot get your needs met with your SO. Sometimes it just happens that way.

 

[AusTess]

Define unfaithful.

Then i'll answer.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

I think its different for everyone. I really don't think it is as cut and dry as sleeping with someone or sharing your thoughts with another. It depends on the relationship. What holds you together. Couples have become so much more lax these days. What one person does may be okay for them, and might blow another couple right out of the water.

 

[riff]

I've never been married so I know nothing. I can't imagine loving someone and cheating on them (cheating being in the most commonplace and everyday usage). If you are loving someone, why be unfaithful? It doesn't make sense- but then, as so many people will point out to me, I'm not married.

Call me naive.

 

[Weevil]

Without getting too personal about my life, people tend to get what they need. From whatever outlet. Everyone has wants and needs, needs to be listened to, to be loved, to be wanted. And its sad when you cannot get your needs met with your SO. Sometimes it just happens that way.

Yeah I guess but it seems like such a cop out. I mean, we're talking about cheating and not just breaking up with someone. If I wasn't getting what I needed from the girl who has way too much of my money around her finger(Never happening) then I'd tell her.

Moving aside from my personal situation I hate it when my friends cheat on their GF's. It's not that I think everyone should be attached at the hip to one person but being deceitful about it is just plain wrong.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

I would never call you naive.

I am speaking from my own experiences. One never plans to cheat. At least I wouldn’t think so. But we're all human. I’d like to think, that when I meet the right person (dear God please) that both of our needs will be met, that we can fulfill them together, some might say I am naive.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

Yeah I guess but it seems like such a cop out. I mean, we're talking about cheating and not just breaking up with someone. If I wasn't getting what I needed from the girl who has way too much of my money around her finger(Never happening) then I'd tell her.

Moving aside from my personal situation I hate it when my friends cheat on their GF's. It's not that I think everyone should be attached at the hip to one person but being deceitful about it is just plain wrong.

I agree with you, actually I haven't disagreed with anyone. If your looking for my CUT & Dry answer, then yes I think sleeping with another is cheating. I think phone sex, sharing your thoughts, secret meetings, the shibang is cheating.

 

[April]

No, you never plan to cheat. It just happens. It's easy to moralize, but unless you are in another's shoes, you just don't know what their life is like.

 

[riff]

I would never call you naive.

I am speaking from my own experiences. One never plans to cheat. At least I wouldn’t think so. But we're all human. I’d like to think, that when I meet the right person (dear God please) that both of our needs will be met, that we can fulfill them together, some might say I am naive.

You are right. We all make mistakes. Sometimes dreadful ones. I guess I am just saying that I hope I never make a mistake. I've been cheated on before and found out and it was crushing. I wouldn't want to do that to anyone and besides, I value a clear conscience.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

There is nothing worse then thinking you know someone, you entrust the most fragile parts of yourself in their hands, trusting that they will nurture and tend to it ...

 

[miles]

No, you never plan to cheat. It just happens. It's easy to moralize, but unless you are in another's shoes, you just don't know what their life is like.

Of course some people plan to cheat, and it doesn't "just happen."

I'm guessing you meant it can be spontaneous.

 

[TN_Vixen]

No, you never plan to cheat. It just happens. It's easy to moralize, but unless you are in another's shoes, you just don't know what their life is like.

Of course some people plan to cheat, and it doesn't "just happen."

I'm guessing you meant it can be spontaneous.

Are you speaking from experience?

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

Hmmm, spontaneous cheating...what a wonderful discovery. I will have to remember that one.

"...what was that? Your dick just fell into her?"

 

[Wiggles]

I think of cheating in the physical sense, and the emotional sense.

If you give yourself to another, physically, that's cheating. If you give your heart to another person, that's cheating also. I think giving your body can sometimes be forgiven.

But it takes a really strong relationship to get over your lover loving someone else.

I don't believe I have ever cheated, in my heart I believe this. I don't constitute flirting as cheating. I think it's a healthy way to show and recieve appreciation from another person.

I think every person defines this in a different way. And they know deep down if they have cheated or not.

Edited, because the typo fairy jinxed this post.

 

[WriterDom]

I was in a 2 year LDR with a TN Vixen, (redhead, not blonde) and didn't feel a need to cheat. Well, I did fuck this little blonde from work a few times in the first month or two, but I don't think that counts.