Forever Mountain

BorntoDom

Really Experienced
Joined
Feb 26, 2006
Posts
266
You have just gone to the edge of a cliff of a mountain and looked down. The wind is blowing, and you can feel the sun beaming down on on your forehead and cleavage. You have a little perspiration from the act of climbing to the top of the mountain. You get your canteen out and begin to take a drink when you spy a far off fire in the distance. This intrigues you because you have always loved the outdoors. You decide to go and see what and who is at the campsite.

The forest is thick and you try to avoid the sticker bushes that could cut your shin, but you manage, One of the things that has always turned you on is a rugged mountain man that ties you up in rope and has his way with you. You begin to smell the smoke from the fire. You can tell that if you continue on this path you will be invading someone's space, but that is your plan.

The trees begin to sway from the wind picking up which draws the smoke even deeper into your lungs and in turn makes you even more pixelated from the thought that you might get cock tonight.
A pathway of rocks emerges on your left, so you decide to follow it. A noise is heard. You stop in your tracks. Breathless. Disturbing your prey is the last thing on your mind.

A shadow emerges from the distance. It's a tall dark haired man with his shirt off and a towel around his privates. He has just come from the only showers in the camp for miles. So you know who your prey is and that he is clean. You stand and watch him as he does his business uninhibited because he believes he is alone. He takes the towel down and unknowingly shows you his very impressive cock as he finds a pair of clean underwear to put on. You now are having a dilemma in your head. Do you disturb him and get the desparately needed cock that you desire? Or are you the chicken that will wuss out on your fantasy.

You didn't have to ponder long for a mosquito buzzed by and began sucking on your arm. You notice this and slap it. He turns his eyes your direction. You are nervous, but you think fast on your feet and say "Hello" "Can you help me?""I'm lost." He immediately grabs his jeans and begins feverishly putting them on. He doesn't break his gaze at you during this task. You begin to walk toward him as he says "Be right there, hold on." You feign like you are giving him privacy by looking away, but you can't help it you notice he has ripped strong muscles and a nice ass.

You wait a second and then you try to make sure all your bits are in place so that when he see's you up close he will like what he sees. The character is coming in to focus for you. Ahh Yes the Damsel in Distress. You try to train your eyes to look the part of someone who is lost. He finally comes upon you and you see he has long flowing hair that you could get lost in. He asks you "Now what seems to be the trouble?" Thinking fast you say " It's getting dark and I have lost my way to my campsite." "What do I do?" "Who knows your here?" He says. You say "No one." "Why?" "No reason." "Did you come alone?" "Um, yes" "Really. " "What's a girl like you doing out here with us wolves?" " I just got lost is all" You say. "Really." He says.

He stares in your big bluish green eyes for a moment and it's as if time had just stopped for you. You begin to obess that he finds you attractive. No not just attractive, fuckable. He grins a little and says "What is your name?" " Marissa." You say. He says" So you want to stay with me huh?" You begin to say "Yes" when he grabs you by the hair and pulls you over to his pickup truck. He grabs your hands and takes some duct tape and a gas rag that is in the passenger seat of the truck. He puts the gas rag in your mouth and covers your mouth with duct tape so you can't scream. You begin twitching and flailing your body around. He grabs an extention cord and binds both your arms and legs in one fell swoop. He then picks you up and throws you in the back of his old blue 80's model ford pickup.

You then hear the crank of that big engine and you get really alert because you can't believe this is happening to you, even though you have always dreamed of this. You hear the stir of the gravel as you see the trees pass by and feel the cool wind from the errant air that blows over you. "Where is he taking me?" You think to yourself. You go into survival mode. You look up at the stars and try to remember how many times they turn different directions. Sort of like the breadcrumbs in the old fabled story we all know. It's bright outside for the moon is full and you have begun to feel the effects of the gas on the rag. Your eyes begin to fade. But your adreneline kicks in and you get an energy boost to continue looking at the stars. Right, Left. Right, Left. Left, Left, Right. Stop. The wheels screech to a halt and you slump forward.

You immediately are fearfull with fright because of the unknown. "What had you gotten into?" you said to yourself again. This certainly isn't the fantasy you always dreamed of, or was it? You hear the driverside door creak as it is opened. Goosebumps immediately come up on your skin and the hair on the back of your neck is definitely standing up. He lowers the tailgate down and grabs your legs and pulls you down to him. He picks you up and carries you into a small cottage, which you guess is his home. The air smelled sweet from pastries that had undoubtly been taken out of the oven to cool. He takes you to a dark back room and puts you down on a chair. He then grabs your hands which are bound in the extention cord and hooks and hoists them into the air from a rope pulley. Chains, shackles and clamps your feet down to the floor. He then grabs scissors and shows them too you and cuts off each of your buttons on your shirt which reveals two beautiful nectarines of the gods. The shirt swings open more from an electric fan that blows cold air on you. From behind, he grabs your hair and pulls it close to him and smells your neckline and then growls like a beast in lust in your ear.

The scissors cut the back of your shirt up the middle. When he gets to the top, the shirt simply falls onto your arms. He quickly removes that obstacle. He rips your bra off of you and begins biting and sucking on your hard fucking tits that are jutting out. You begin to whince from pain but also get turned on from the sensation. The shorts are cut next off of you to where the two ends are lying down at the base of your ankles.

Naked, you are now humiliated and humbled in his sight. He takes the hoist and suspends you to where you are bent over in the right position. He slaps your ass as he begins to remove his clothes. His cock is a thick long meaty cock that has a slight bend in it. He takes his cock and rams it in to your awaiting dripping wet pussy. As he does he begins howling from how good it feels to fuck a young nympho like you. His balls are pendulous and slap heavily against your soft pussy. You can feel his pelvic bone jut into you with each wave of his cock as he crashes into your wet hole. He takes his brawny ripped arms and hands and reaches around and grabs your breasts from behind and pulls you from your nipples into him hard. You get turned on from the pain of this. You begin to shudder with enjoyment and fright because you want more.

He takes his large cock out of you and comes around to the front and plunges his cock deep down your throat and forces your head down until you gag. You suck and suck but he doesn't cum. He pulls it out and says. "I caught me a dirty dirty bitch" "I intend to eat her"" He goes to his knees and spreads her very fucking shapely legs apart and takes his tongue and plunges it deep into her wet honey pot. He tongue lashes his conquered pussy untill honey cum drips down out of you and flows down on to his face. He makes a b-line for the Behind and fucks the shit out of her ass. You begin moaning and breathing loudly. The fumes get to you more, but now you like it. He pushes your ass down further on his cock to where he is exactly hitting your g-spot. You begin cumming and cumming from the pounding. His pace is starting to go faster and you can feel his muscles tighten. His balls have sucked up and sperm is coming to the surface. He lets out a loud Growl and scratches your ass as he cums . Cum has filled your inner caverns of your ass. You are spent. But your not done. You are now his property. His concubine. You are now his slave to carry out every one of his sexual desires. You like the idea, but do you want to live your fantasy forever?

Master G
 
Looking for Feed Back.

If anyone wants to comment please chime in. Master G
 
I am certainly no expert, but a few things did stand out.

A lot of sentences are written in the passive voice, I quickly got bored.

Proofread for punctuation and spelling errors, there are quite a few.

You didn't have to ponder long for a mosquito buzzed by and began sucking on your arm. You notice this and slap it. He turns his eyes your direction. You are nervous, but you think fast on your feet and say "Hello" "Can you help me?""I'm lost." He immediately grabs his jeans and begins feverishly putting them on. He doesn't break his gaze at you during this task. You begin to walk toward him as he says "Be right there, hold on." You feign like you are giving him privacy by looking away, but you can't help it you notice he has ripped strong muscles and a nice ass.

Break up the dialogue, a new paragraph for each speaker, it is much easier to read that way.

He rips your bra off of you and begins biting and sucking on your hard fucking tits that are jutting out. You begin to whince from pain but also get turned on from the sensation. The shorts are cut next off of you to where the two ends are lying down at the base of your ankles.

Awkward sentences, had to read more than once to figure out what was going on.

You can feel his pelvic bone jut into you with each wave of his cock as he crashes into your wet hole.

wave? :confused:

Check out the Authors Resources, there are a great many tools there to help. Find an editor, it's amazing how much they help (from personal experience).

I like the story line, the telling just needs some work.
 
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