Foreplay

[vtecklr]

Hey everyone, I am new to this so stick with me. Ok, my girlfriend and I have been together for about two and a half years and there has been ups and downs as with almost every relationship. The thing is, the things that we used to do to get us in the mood for sex just doesn't get us there as much as it use to so I am asking everyone here for suggestions(sp) to help me out with getting her in the mood. Any help would be greatly appriciated.

 

[DuchessMorgan]

You didn't give much info. However, I can say, being a woman, that if you make her feel very special, and take time with foreplay, this will help. If your lives are very busy, then do something to give her a break, let her know you are there for her. Sometimes, being non-sexual, yet intimate does wonders. Perhaps give her a deep, relaxing massage, with some nice music, but do not, touch her breasts, ass, or vagina...and no sex afterwards, tell her to take a nap and enjoy. This will make her realize that you are caring for her body and soul without the expectation of sex. A woman needs to feel intimate and close to her man in order to fully enjoy sex. Women are not typically responsive in the way a man is....take a look at what you have been doing, and think about why it hasn't worked. Are you skipping foreplay? Are you always looking for the quickie? Do you look into her eyes? Do you take time to please her and forego your own orgasm? Is she insecure about anything, such as recent weight gain, etc.? Is she having any troubles with family members that may be keeping her mind preoccupied?

 

[SmilinAngel]

First off, let me say how great it is that you are trying to keep things going strong and keeping the 'magic' alive. So, for me, maybe I'm too much of a romantic, but to get me into the mood, I like to go out (or have a home-made) for a really nice, romantic meal. Something about seeing my love in candlelight, and having stimulating conversation always works me up. I also like praising comments, like, I love the way your hair looks tonight, I like that dress, etc. Then, I like to lay down in the bed with my love and touch each other all over - without removing clothes. Having a nice caress and kissing session ... then, well, I'm up for anything! Good luck!

 

[vtecklr]

Well i know what you are saying. When ever we do have sex I always give her an orgasm before we get to me. I try to give her massages but its kind of hard to do that when her mother is a massage theropist. She always has her mother give her them. SHe does have family issues but they have just started and the foreplay has been hard to get her turned on for a while. I was just asking about how other guys go about turning their SO on and asking females what turns them on the most and what adds to the pleasure. Thank you for writing I will try giving her a massage and not touching her ass, breasts, or vagina and letting her take a nap while and after i do it.

 

[vtecklr]

Thank you DuchessMorgan and SmilinAngel for your support and the Ideas.

 

[porn professor]

turning a girl on from an amateur view

usually, my girl likes to be treated like a queen, when you get to the point that your ready for the 'foreplay' be sweet, take your time and give her what she deserves, dont be so anxious to rush into the intercourse....i have found that girls extremely like being kissed on the neck, amongest other things

 

[SweetErika]

Having my back (and butt cheeks) kissed and licked gets me going. Set it up like a massage, but straddle her and start with licking and kissing her neck, working your way down and back up. The lower back is especially sensitive for many women, but just listen to her reactions, and I bet you'll find many areas that make her moan. Good luck!

 

[TXappeal]

very simple

diamonds

 

[DuchessMorgan]

LMAO! Diamonds?? I don't think so. There may be some women who are turned on by material things, but the majority of women are looking for their man to be attentive, loving, emotionally available, knowledgeable about their woman's body.

Have you tried something completely new? Perhaps a little spanking? A bite that's a bit harder than usual? Restrain her arms above her head? She may have a kinky side that you might explore. Try giving her a bath/shower and washing her entire body for her, slowly of course. Wash her hair, but make it a scalp massage as well. Perhaps have her out to dinner without panties on, and underneath the table, sneak a sly finger up her dress.

Perhaps a camping trip for some outdoor "fun". Maybe get some various porns to have around the house and see if she secretly watches them when you aren't around. Good luck...

 

[wildwesty]

To get my SO in the mood involved me touching her body like it was the first time. I would explore her body and sort of rediscover all the areas that she loved to be touched. I played around with new spots or very close to the old ones. She "hated" how I would come close to touching a spot on her knowing what she liked, but then stay away from it. It has a lot to do with teasing. The other thing you can do is introduce new things into the relationship...both sexual and non sexual. Think about that stuff and see where it takes you.

 

[ishaveballs]

tie her up and make her beg

 

[hack72]

well,
most of the time by treating them nice, holding them, nuzzling. No hard core stuff and they will give in.

REMEMBER

Men give love for sex, Women give sex for live.

with that motto in mind.....it works wonders.

just love her....and the rest of the world in yours

 

[hack72]

the real saying is

Men give live for sex, Women give sex for love

 

[hack72]

I am gonna cut off my fingers after this

Men Give LOVE for Sex, Women give SEX for LOVE

 

[TXappeal]

DuchessMorgan

all you said...and diamonds

 

[vtecklr]

Thank you all for your ideas. I will try some of them and others I know she wouldn't go for(the dinner without panties). I would like her to do things like that but she never does. it seems like the only time she goes without them for some reason is when she doesn't want to have sex. I dont understand that at all but thats just how things go i guess. She likes being tied up but seems to get mad if I tease her at all while she is tied up. We have watched porn and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I will try the ideas that you all have posted so keep posting so i have other ways if these all dont work. Thanks again.

 

[LadyJeanne]

perhaps she could tie you up? she might get a kick out of that...

 

[Metal_Monkey]

I try to give her massages but its kind of hard to do that when her mother is a massage theropist. She always has her mother give her them.

I don't care who my mother is, I will ALWAYS accept a massage from anyone willing to give me one. My back is like a black hole, it just keeps sucking up the pleasure. LOL.

 

[MagicFingers]

Did you know

I am gonna cut off my fingers after this

Men Give LOVE for Sex, Women give SEX for LOVE

You can EDIT your posts without having to post another one to correct it?
Click EDIT, right next to QUOTE.

And vtecklr, maybe I could get her mother's phone number?
I love massages about as much as sex at this point in my life.

 

[CoyoteTales]

Communication is the biggest thing to work with -- and performance anxiety the hardest block.

The best person to ask what turns her on -- is her.

It's not just about 'more foreplay' or 'play with her hair' -- it's about getting inside her head, IMHO.

And perhaps the best advice of all --

*no pressure.* If she's not in the mood, there's very little you can do to get her motivated -- it will end up being annoying, rather than arousing, and may make her less tolerant of advances in the future.

If she doesn't know what turns her on -- here's the flip side: 'What turns you off?' Sometimes learning what she's not into can be clues to what does turn her on. And if nothing else, you learn what -not- to experiment with.

Intimacy, too, isn't just about the sex (and bravo, you, for doing the gentlemanly thing and making sure she gets hers first). Sometimes it's just the skin-to-skin contact, and the best kisses in the world.

No rushing.

Accept that some playtime will not always end out in full coitus. I can say with some fondness that I find bringing my partner to climax is one of my favorite activities, even if I keep my pants on the entire time.

Another thing to consider is that if you've been lovers for some time, your styles have accomodated each other -- go with what you know is most effective from past sessions, and you can't go too far wrong with that.

Remember that intimacy is a dance, and while the steps are similar, the beat and the tempo are different every time.

-CoyoteTales

 

[geishaGirl]

I'm guessing from what you've said already vtecklr that you may be lacking some variety in your foreplay???

Maybe to "spice things up" you could try a different environment, like a different room in the house or whatever. Personally, I LOVE having fingers softly run along my wrists, my butt being rubbed and virtually ANY gentle touch on any part of my body. My ears being kissed can also do wonders for me at the right time and if my husband caresses my face I'm in heaven!

Hope that gives you some more ideas....

 

[TXappeal]

Metal Monkey

I My back is like a black hole...

That is not part of your back!

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by CoyoteTales
Communication is the biggest thing to work with -- and performance anxiety the hardest block.

The best person to ask what turns her on -- is her.

It's not just about 'more foreplay' or 'play with her hair' -- it's about getting inside her head, IMHO.

And perhaps the best advice of all --

*no pressure.* If she's not in the mood, there's very little you can do to get her motivated -- it will end up being annoying, rather than arousing, and may make her less tolerant of advances in the future.

If she doesn't know what turns her on -- here's the flip side: 'What turns you off?' Sometimes learning what she's not into can be clues to what does turn her on. And if nothing else, you learn what -not- to experiment with.

Intimacy, too, isn't just about the sex (and bravo, you, for doing the gentlemanly thing and making sure she gets hers first). Sometimes it's just the skin-to-skin contact, and the best kisses in the world.

No rushing.

Accept that some playtime will not always end out in full coitus. I can say with some fondness that I find bringing my partner to climax is one of my favorite activities, even if I keep my pants on the entire time.

Another thing to consider is that if you've been lovers for some time, your styles have accomodated each other -- go with what you know is most effective from past sessions, and you can't go too far wrong with that.

Remember that intimacy is a dance, and while the steps are similar, the beat and the tempo are different every time.

-CoyoteTales

oh my! once again Coyote Tales demonstrates why I enjoy his posts so much. Listen to him....he's a very wise man.

 

[vtecklr]

Again thank you all for the help. CoyoteTales thanks for all the feed back it helps a lot. I will ask her what turns her off to make sure I am not doing any of those things. thank you all and keep the posts coming.