Forced bisexuality

[Shadowsdream]

Whats the draw?

Can one really be forced to perform in a sexual way with the same gender or is forced bi-sexuality just another way of saying..."set it up for me and take away my guilt?"

Anyone for a new conversation?

 

[Aeroil]

lol, not entirely certain what you're askin there SD, but I'll try to get a convo goin. Umm, personally forced bi is a hard limit for me. also as for 'forced', then I guess that just implies that the person isn't bi but they get off on the humiliation aspect of it. *shrugs* dunno lol.

 

[ghosst_K&H]

In a SSC relationship, no one can be "forced" into anything, but one can be coerced into doing something that goes beyond their comfort level.

It could lead to something good, or it could break up a relationship.

I can't answer for everyone but, I'm not Bi, or even Bi curious, and have no interest in having sex with a man, but it's also not a hard limit for me, and if SweetDommes requested it of me, I would probably do it to please them.

 

[Shadowsdream]

lol, not entirely certain what you're askin there SD, but I'll try to get a convo goin. Umm, personally forced bi is a hard limit for me. also as for 'forced', then I guess that just implies that the person isn't bi but they get off on the humiliation aspect of it. *shrugs* dunno lol.

Hello Aeroil...thank you for kicking off the conversation.

 

[Aeroil]

hmm, well sorry ghosst I was under the impression that you were bi, I remember reading in karen and holly's list, something about them preferring their pets to be bi. Well luckily for me, Mistress has even less interest in forced bi than I do lol (if that's even possible).

 

[Shadowsdream]

In a SSC relationship, no one can be "forced" into anything, but one can be coerced into doing something that goes beyond their comfort level.

It could lead to something good, or it could break up a relationship.

I can't answer for everyone but, I'm not Bi, or even Bi curious, and have no interest in having sex with a man, but it's also not a hard limit for me, and if SweetDommes requested it of me, I would probably do it to please them.

Hello ghosst and thank you for adding some very good points. There will be many ways to view this topic and the ones you have brought to the conversation will add much to the continuation of a situation that is often desired by partners on either side of the whip or not!

 

[ghosst_K&H]

hmm, well sorry ghosst I was under the impression that you were bi, I remember reading in karen and holly's list, something about them preferring their pets to be bi. Well luckily for me, Mistress has even less interest in forced bi than I do lol (if that's even possible).

They do prefer Bi, but obviously it's not set in stone.

 

[ghosst_K&H]

Hello ghosst and thank you for adding some very good points. There will be many ways to view this topic and the ones you have brought to the conversation will add much to the continuation of a situation that is often desired by partners on either side of the whip or not!

You're quite welcome Miss Shadows.

 

[Aeroil]

They do prefer Bi, but obviously it's not set in stone.

lol, yes, obviously, I just got the impression that they liked to have their pets play with eachother. *shrugs* that'll teach me to assume lol

 

[Netzach]

You pretty much nailed it, in my experience, it's like "forced" feminization, basically a way to feel less responsible for a taboo desire.

 

[mercy's_grace]

I'm never entirely sure what force means in this context, but anyways . . . . I guess I would put the issue a little differently "Can anyone set this up for me so I can feel safe?" For me, at least, guilt really wouldn't be the issue. Very interesting topic.

 

[Caitlynne]

This question has several nuances. I am not bisexual, yet if I were told to or put in a scene with a woman I would do what was asked. The difference here (I think) is desire vs. actions.

Bisexuality refers to a desire for sexual relations with both sexes, not just 'having' sex with both. In my mind there is a difference, a fine one maybe, but a difference.

I can be forced, asked, coerced, ordered, etc., into having sex with a woman. I can even form an emotional attachment to another woman, but will I lie in bed at night thinking of her and long for her sexually? It's doubtful. I am just so straight, I really am. I have loved women and become so close, but it never developed into a sexual desire. I think that is the crux of bisexuality vs. having sex with the opposite of your preference at the request of a Dom/me.

It might be a question of "order me to do it and relieve me of my responsibility" for some, but it isn't for me. Ultimately I try and take responsibility for who I am, and I don't need someone to give me permission to be me for the most part. Now, there are other things I do need permission for, but that's a different thread I'm sure. But I'm sure for some it is a question of being given 'permission'. But then I think a Dom/me would know these things about their submissive/slave.

I've heard from other Dom/me's several reason's, "Tell me to do it so I don't have to be responsible" and "If you say I'm bisexual then I am, Master/Mistress" and so on and so on.

I admit it is an interesting limit to push in both genders and for a multitude of reasons, and were this asked of me I would certainly do it to see what it revealed, about me, about the dynamic etc.

But I know my desires pretty well, and I doubt that at the end of that road I'm gonna become so desirous of women as to get wet when a nice looking woman walks by. See, as I see it, it is a question of desire. But it also doesn't mean I hate the idea of being used in that fashion. I'd do it, I might even like it form a service POV. But bisexuality is a sexual thing, not a service thing.

I also have an issue with having sex with someone I don't desire. Not for myself, but for the other person. If the woman were another sub, and it was what He wanted then I wouldn't worry about her feeling the lack of desire from me, it actually might even be the reason we are both there.

But it would bother me if it were a Domme, it would bother me to just 'service' her and not give her my desire. I would do the scene if asked, but there is something underneath it all that niggles at me. If it didn't matter to her that I was only 'servicing her' then I guess it would be fine. I guess it bothers me to not give my desire as part of something like that. Probably some issue of my own.

I'm babbling now, lately I've had problems expressing myself, I hope that was all coherent.

~ Cait

 

[Shadowsdream]

You pretty much nailed it, in my experience, it's like "forced" feminization, basically a way to feel less responsible for a taboo desire.

Hello Netzach
Thank You for joining the conversation. You and I have the same idea on this one when it comes to the forced aspect. Perhaps there could be a more honest word to achieve the same goal?

 

[mercy's_grace]

Cait, that actually, that makes a lot of sense. The sex, if not the particular bits, would still be "straight" if I am understanding you correctly. I once knew a very gay woman who occasionally had sex with men. However, at least as she understood it, it was still queer sex.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I'm never entirely sure what force means in this context, but anyways . . . . I guess I would put the issue a little differently "Can anyone set this up for me so I can feel safe?" For me, at least, guilt really wouldn't be the issue. Very interesting topic.

Hello mercy's_grace

It is lovely to have you join the conversation. I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on the subject. In a scene or role play the request would be very honest and valid...

 

[Aeroil]

Hello Netzach
Thank You for joining the conversation. You and I have the same idea on this one when it comes to the forced aspect. Perhaps there could be a more honest word to achieve the same goal?

*shrugs* I guess I never thought about it that way, but now that it's mentioned, I'm sure there are plenty who use it that way. I still think some people just get off on the humiliation aspect of it though, just from logic and from some of the stories I've seen here on lit. (although once an m/m aspect enters the story I usually don't read much further, in all honesty.)

 

[mercy's_grace]

Thank you. It's a very interesting topic.

 

[Caitlynne]

Cait, that actually, that makes a lot of sense. The sex, if not the particular bits, would still be "straight" if I am understanding you correctly. I once knew a very gay woman who occasionally had sex with men. However, at least as she understood it, it was still queer sex.

Well, no that's not what I meant, although I see that POV too.

I was referring to the difference between action and actual desire. I can be put in a scene and have a Domme make me wet from what she does to me. That's instinct. But at the end of the scene, even after my orgasm (if allowed), I'm not going to begin to desire 'her', only the sexual responses. But anyone can provide that--literally. As I understand bisexuality it is an actual desire to 'be' with both sexes (depending on the individual I would imagine). It is NOT just the act of having sex with both genders. I think there is a difference.

It boils down to desire in my estimation. I can enjoy having sensation brought to my body by any hand. That's not a desire for women as sexual partners. It could even be just a greedy bottoms desire to get off by any means available.

I *would* enjoy the service aspect of it. I am really service oriented. That I enjoy, but I wouldn't have to be forced to do that, I'd only have to know what pleased her. But that kind of service would not be erotic to me. I would enjoy it for service, because I enjoy service. But I wouldn't eroticize it. I wouldn't then come to long for her, or desire her.

And if it were service to a Domme, I would want to give her my passion or my desire. I would feel bad if I didn't have it to give. It's an oddity I'm sure that only I have, pay no attention to me...

Like I said, I've had problems communicating lately.

~ Cait

 

[mercy's_grace]

And if it were service to a Domme, I would want to give her my passion or my desire. I would feel bad if I didn't have it to give. It's an oddity I'm sure that only I have, pay no attention to me...

Like I said, I've had problems communicating lately.

~ Cait

No, actually you express yourself very well.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Whats the draw?

Can one really be forced to perform in a sexual way with the same gender or is forced bi-sexuality just another way of saying..."set it up for me and take away my guilt?"

Anyone for a new conversation?

Since I have no boots to bet, I might be shopping for a new pair, in the next week or so. ;-)

But on this topic... one to which I can speak, I was told to do this with another woman, for my Dom and for her. I did it because it pleased Him but it held nothing for me and quite frankly, I'm sure I did her a great disservice.

I can say more on this but I'm not sure if it holds any interest.

 

[Desdemona]

Whats the draw?

Can one really be forced to perform in a sexual way with the same gender or is forced bi-sexuality just another way of saying..."set it up for me and take away my guilt?"

Anyone for a new conversation?

I think some people feel intense shame about having a desire for same sex experiences. Maybe being ordered to perform in this way allows them to enjoy doing something they see as dirty/repugnant without having to face their own desires head on. Maybe that's the same as having someone take away their guilt, but I see shame as being a bit more intense.

I think I could see one other option. Maybe some see it as a type of role play... sort of like a rape fantasy. Few people truly want to be raped but they enjoy the role play and enjoy the fantasy of being under another's control in a non-consensual fashion. I guess forced bi-sexuality could fall under that sort of consensual non-consent umbrella. You know, pretending to be repulsed by it and fighting it, etc all in the name of role play.

It's kind of outside my fantasy life to be forced so I'm just guessing anyhow.

 

[Xelebes]

*shrugs* I guess I never thought about it that way, but now that it's mentioned, I'm sure there are plenty who use it that way. I still think some people just get off on the humiliation aspect of it though, just from logic and from some of the stories I've seen here on lit. (although once an m/m aspect enters the story I usually don't read much further, in all honesty.)

Same boat. I can do the 'forced' feminisation and froshing but not the bisexuality. I have absolutely no intentions of servicing another man, whether he be a fellow sub or a dom.

 

[Marquis]

Whats the draw?

Can one really be forced to perform in a sexual way with the same gender or is forced bi-sexuality just another way of saying..."set it up for me and take away my guilt?"

Anyone for a new conversation?

Now, I don't pretend to be as experienced as many of you, but when I began to go to Fetish clubs and see interactions between BDSMers, the high rate of bisexuality among male subs was something I noticed immediately.

Once again, I think it goes to show that the subs really run the show behind it all, and we just slowly give them what they deeply always desired anyway.

 

[graceanne]

It seems to me that if the relationship is consensual that you can't be forced to do anything. That said, if K were to try and 'force' me into bisexuality, I would safeword. That's one of my hard limits, and K knows it. On the bright side, he never would. Try and force me into bisexuality that is. This probably proves your point, though, that it's not really force, it's just a way for people to do something they want to anyway.

 

[Aeroil]

Now, I don't pretend to be as experienced as many of you, but when I began to go to Fetish clubs and see interactions between BDSMers, the high rate of bisexuality among male subs was something I noticed immediately.

Once again, I think it goes to show that the subs really run the show behind it all, and we just slowly give them what they deeply always desired anyway.

I certainly haven't seen myself, but I have indeed heard that there is a pretty high percentage of bisexuality among those of our vocation. As far as servicing goes, so long as it's non-sexual I could deal with doing it for a male, if Mistress asked me to. I would just be unbeliavably agitated during the entire time. I actually had a short convo with silverlily about this. Of course that's not really forced bi, so I shouldn't be hijacking here.