Ambrosious
Weaver of Written Worlds
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2000
- Posts
- 6,346
A LIBERTARIAN CHRISTMAS
Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending $50 to the Salvation Army.
Democrats help the poor by giving $50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street.
Libertarians help the poor by hiring them to string up lights for $50.
Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes.
Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws.
Libertarians sell the fruitcakes to the Democrats and Republicans.
Also ... Libertarian are fruitcakes.
When toasting the holidays, Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine.
Democrats ask for a "Bud."
Libertarians brew their own something.
When not in stores, Republicans shop from a catalog.
Democrats watch for "incredible TV offers" on late night television.
Libertarians bitch about Cheaperthandirt site being slow.
Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart.
So do Republicans, but they don't admit it.
Libertarians shop for commodities futures.
Republican parents have no problem buying toy guns for their kids.
Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.
Libertarians dislike toy guns. Their kids have to settle for the real thing.
Republicans spends hundreds of dollars and hours of work decorating the yard with outdoor lights and Christmas displays.
Democrats save their time and money, and drive around at night to look at *other* people's lights.
Libertarians turn on perimeter lights and make the guard dogs howl carols.
Democrats' favorite Christmas movie is "Miracle on 34th Street."
Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is "It's a Wonderful Life."
Right-Wing Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is "Die Hard."
Libertarians' favorite Chistmas movie is also "Die Hard" and they criticize the actors' gun handling.
Republicans always take the price tag off expensive gifts before wrapping.
Democrats also remove price tags off pricey gifts ... and reposition them to make sure they are seen.
Libertarians make sure the shipping charges are obvious, too.
Republicans wear wide red ties and green sports jackets during the festive season.
Democrats do too, all year round.
Libertarians wear green and red cammies to blend in with the Christmas tree.
Most Republicans try, at least once, enclose indulgent, maudlin form letters about their families in their Christmas cards.
Public ridicule from Democrats usually discourages them from doing it again.
Libertarians re-read Thomas Jefferson's Christmas cards.
Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is "Deck the Halls."
Young Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."
Republicans' favorite Christmas carol is "White Christmas."
Young Republicans' favorite Christmas carol is "White Christmas."
Libertarians favorite "Christmas Carol" was written by Dickens.
Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree.
Tight-fisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait until the week before Christmas when the lots lower their prices.
Green Democrats buy a real tree with roots, and then replant it after New Years.
Libertarians camp out in an evergreen forest to celebrate.
Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play "Cowboys and Indians."
Democrats don't either, as long as the Indians win.
Libertarians prefer that kids play "Humans and JBTs"
Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus.
Democrats became Democrats because they never stopped believing in Santa Claus.
Libertarians pay Santa well to give him incentive to come again.
Democrat men like to watch football while the women fix holiday meals.
On this, Republicans are in full agreement.
Libertarian men prefer watching women to watching football.
Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending $50 to the Salvation Army.
Democrats help the poor by giving $50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street.
Libertarians help the poor by hiring them to string up lights for $50.
Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes.
Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws.
Libertarians sell the fruitcakes to the Democrats and Republicans.
Also ... Libertarian are fruitcakes.
When toasting the holidays, Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine.
Democrats ask for a "Bud."
Libertarians brew their own something.
When not in stores, Republicans shop from a catalog.
Democrats watch for "incredible TV offers" on late night television.
Libertarians bitch about Cheaperthandirt site being slow.
Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart.
So do Republicans, but they don't admit it.
Libertarians shop for commodities futures.
Republican parents have no problem buying toy guns for their kids.
Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.
Libertarians dislike toy guns. Their kids have to settle for the real thing.
Republicans spends hundreds of dollars and hours of work decorating the yard with outdoor lights and Christmas displays.
Democrats save their time and money, and drive around at night to look at *other* people's lights.
Libertarians turn on perimeter lights and make the guard dogs howl carols.
Democrats' favorite Christmas movie is "Miracle on 34th Street."
Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is "It's a Wonderful Life."
Right-Wing Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is "Die Hard."
Libertarians' favorite Chistmas movie is also "Die Hard" and they criticize the actors' gun handling.
Republicans always take the price tag off expensive gifts before wrapping.
Democrats also remove price tags off pricey gifts ... and reposition them to make sure they are seen.
Libertarians make sure the shipping charges are obvious, too.
Republicans wear wide red ties and green sports jackets during the festive season.
Democrats do too, all year round.
Libertarians wear green and red cammies to blend in with the Christmas tree.
Most Republicans try, at least once, enclose indulgent, maudlin form letters about their families in their Christmas cards.
Public ridicule from Democrats usually discourages them from doing it again.
Libertarians re-read Thomas Jefferson's Christmas cards.
Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is "Deck the Halls."
Young Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."
Republicans' favorite Christmas carol is "White Christmas."
Young Republicans' favorite Christmas carol is "White Christmas."
Libertarians favorite "Christmas Carol" was written by Dickens.
Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree.
Tight-fisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait until the week before Christmas when the lots lower their prices.
Green Democrats buy a real tree with roots, and then replant it after New Years.
Libertarians camp out in an evergreen forest to celebrate.
Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play "Cowboys and Indians."
Democrats don't either, as long as the Indians win.
Libertarians prefer that kids play "Humans and JBTs"
Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus.
Democrats became Democrats because they never stopped believing in Santa Claus.
Libertarians pay Santa well to give him incentive to come again.
Democrat men like to watch football while the women fix holiday meals.
On this, Republicans are in full agreement.
Libertarian men prefer watching women to watching football.
