For the stay at home moms

Ksss

beauty is only skin deep
Joined
Aug 8, 2000
Posts
2,377
I was sent this awhile ago, and thought it was appropriate after several threads about employment, etc...

"I'm just a mother? Excuse me???

A few months ago, when I was picking up the children at school, another mother I knew well rushed up to me. Emily was fuming with indignation. "Do you know what you and I are?" she demanded. Before I could answer and I didn't really have one handy-she blurted out the reason for her question.
It seemed she had just returned from renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's Office. Asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation, Emily had hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. "What I mean is", explained the recorder, "do you have a job, or are you just a ...? "Of course I have a job," snapped Emily, "I'm a mother." "We don't list `mother' as an occupation...`housewife' covers it" said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our Town Hall. The clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high-sounding title like "Official Interrogator?" or "Town Registrar." "And what is your occupation?" she probed. What made me say it I do not know. The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations." The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair, and looked up as if she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pompous pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the offical questionaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?" Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters (the whole damned family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are in satisfaction rather than in money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door. As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants ages 13, 7 and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experiment model (6 months) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt triumphant! I had scored a beat on buraucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another mother." Motherhood...what a glorious career. Especially when there's a title on the door."
~Author Unknown~

Here's to all of you wonderful stay at home moms!
 
thank you ksss wish alot more folks felt that way
(((ksss))
 
*kisses* Ksss...I've learned not to be ashamed of being a stay at home mom (even though I'm not so much anymore). No other job I will ever do can match the importance of raising my 4 kids. :) And it damn sure takes more than you can get with the ivy-covered halls of any institution of higher learning to be a success at it!
 
Do you stay at home moms have any idea how jealous people are?

I was a manager in a large corporation in Philadelphia. Even though my company was pretty generous (flex time, sick time, vacation) women -- both "career" women and support staff -- were torn between family concerns and the demands of the job. Single moms were especially battered.

I don't know how some of these women ever make it to a school play, or a recital, or more than the occasional soccer game, unless they use sick time. Often, it is a challenge to get out in time to pick the kids up from practice.

My company did a bi-annual employee satisfaction survey. Know what employees want most (men and women)? More time to spend on their personal lives. Not more money. Not more vacation time. Shorter hours.

They want a piece of what you have.

Now, sure, some of them could lighten up on the career while the kids are growing up -- it's a choice. But for a lot of single women, it's not a choice, it's a living.

So sometimes when you sense the attitude from some of these folks, consider this: they know what they're missing, and that you have it. Wouldn't that give you an attitude?
 
Grrrn38

This was not to make working mothers feel bad. I sometimes think that people do not realize that stay at home mothers work pretty darn hard also. I too, was a working mother. I worked three jobs, 60-75 hours a week to meet expenses every month. But fortunately for me I had bosses who were understanding enough to work around my children's schedules. I was very active in my children's lives, always made the school concerts, we did the scouting thing for many years, school sports, etc. I now have a pretty good relationship with my young adult children. I just thought that the stay at home moms are pretty special too and needed a little recognition for all of their hard work.
 
Thanx, Ksss!

It's nice to know that despite what the whle world thinks, there are some who DO realize that I may stay home all day, every day, but I DO work and work hard. I get a bit angry at times when poeple think I'm doing nothing all day. My kids are 3 and 4, and I usually am watching my 9 month and my 5 year old nephews as well. So that makes for an interestig day at times.
And Lord knows that MY day actually starts a long time before the 'employed' person's day, with me getting up at 4AM pretty much every day of the week, just to get my things done, to have some time for myself and to make sure i have time to play with my children when they decide I am needed.
Tnanx again for posting that!!
 
Good for you...

...I'm the original Mr Mom. CD-able can't cook, only cleans when pissed off, and loves her work but I can cook. She sees patients in a pretigious office. I sit in my shorts and manage our business from a computer as well as write my books. I appreciate first hand the committements to kids...we have three. Surprisingly, so does CD-able. Do check out her book on her website, Perfect Mothers--Invisible Women. The link is:

http://www.invisiblewomen.co.uk

Give 'em hell.
 
I LOVE YOU ALL!!! Thank you for your beautiful, warm words about "Stay at home Mom's". I used to teach kindergarten and pre-school before my son was born. I gave that up because I wanted to be there for him. That is something I will never regret. When he was in Kindergarten, I started volunteering at the school library on a regular basis. One thing led to another and the librarian told me that the school system was in the middle of hiring employees. Well, I filled out the forms and she wrote me a wonderful letter of recommendation - which landed me a part-time job with the school system. I now work 3 hours a day and I love it. I'm home with my son before school and I am there when he comes home from school. I have the same schedule that he does. I'm so very glad I was there for him in his early years. It was worth the sacrifices! I also love my job now, and wouldn't trade it for anything. My experiences as a "Stay at home Mom" have helped me greatly working in the school system. There are many children who just need someone to talk to and to give them some attention and love. That's what I do best.
 
I did both. I went back to work when my son was 6 days old because I had no insurance & a $1700 hospital bill to pay. When I married his step dad, I stayed home for 4 years doing the PTA/Room mother/Sunday School Teacher/VBS teacher/head library mom, etc & loved every minute of it. I also went to college part time & as he got older, went back to work. I was & am very lucky in that my boss always let me arrange my schedule around Justin's activities. By having that second income, we were able to take some trip, send him on some special trips & things of that nature. I missed very few of his special events because I planned accordingly. People at my job were always amazed that I was given the days off, it never occured to them to ask for the school calendar for the whole year. I helped set the calendar, so it was easy for me. I have come to the conclusion that WE are our own worst enemies. The whole working mom vs stay at home mom war is waged by women. Every situation is different & until we, as women, accept that, it isn't going to improve. We don't need men knocking us down,we do it so much better to ourselves. Everyone should be valued for who they are & what they do. Every mother is a working mother, some just do it in different ways. Stepping down from the soap box & saluting you all.
 
I didn't open this thread until now because it really doesn't apply to me. Career single woman, no kids. That doesn't mean I can't appreciate the work that it takes to be a stay at home mom. It would drive me nuts, personally. I like kids, as long as I don't have to be their caretaker.

I remind many of the men that I work with when they complain about their wives and what they do all day at home that they probably really don't want to trade places with them. Too much work!
 
Grrrn38 said:
Do you stay at home moms have any idea how jealous people are?

There are days I am jealous of women who go to work and interact with other adult. They can go to a real lunch, relax and have a conversation with someone but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I have seen this before and have it printed out but thanks for reminding me about it.
 
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